


The Gift

by Cloakseeker



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Adventure, Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Mystery, Mythology - Freeform, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Romance, Superhuman Powers, Supernatural - Freeform, Telekinesis, Telepathy, pyrokinesis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:33:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 100,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloakseeker/pseuds/Cloakseeker
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.Tris has always been different, but only when she ends up in an underground pond that she learns just how different. She receives a gift, a superhuman power that will make her stand out. But now she has a target on her that will never go away. Finding others like her proves to be easier than she thought. But it's when they turn against her that she feels alone.  FourTris.





	1. Prologue and Chapter 1: Firefly leads the way

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for NaNoWriMo 2017.

Prologue

In ancient times, the Pillars of Life created the world. They created night and day, soil and water, wind and fire, and every living thing. The Earth was roamed by creatures big and small, and everything had its rightful place.

In the realm above, the Pillars created a beautiful city called Cer. It was there were they sat at the table, and watched over their creation. The plants thrived, the animals were plentiful, and peace governed the realm below. They called it Earth. But as deities go, they soon got bored with all the peacefulness or at least some of them did. Those who wanted to create something new, something that would resemble them, decided to sculpt creatures out of soil, water, fire, and air. The Pillars entrusted the design and creation of these new creatures to the most talented of Cerians, whom they called Architects. There were always four Architects, each of them governed by one of the four primordial elements.

The Architects created little creatures, they called humans that resembled the Pillars, yet were mortal and far less powerful. Presenting the new creations, the Architects bestowed special powers over some of them, secretly hoping to spike conflict, discord, and jealousy among their puppets. The High Council of Pillars looked upon the little people, and decided to give them more than just magical power. They gave each of them critical thought and thirst for knowledge. The Pillars new that the Architects might try to cause war among their creation, and therefore decided to give them all equal chances to win. However, since they couldn't remove the magical advantage of some of them, the High Council decided that only through a bath in the Pond of Knowledgethose individuals could unlock their magical gift.

Breathing life into the miniature figures, the Pillars sent the tiny people to Earth, where they emerged from their shells, and took their first breath as living beings. To them, Earth was a strange place that they couldn't understand, yet they knew it was home.

Throughout history, the first humans multiplied time and time again, populating all of their inherited Earth, creating wonders of their own through science and technology, and soon the few details they knew about magic were forgotten.

It was only for a handful of loyal disciples that the origin of mankind was written down for the ages. But the smarter mankind became, the less interested they were in magic and worshipping their heavenly creators. The Architects pleaded with the High Council to send an apocalypse down to Earth to destroy the ungrateful children of their first men, but were turned down ingloriously. The High Council, foreseeing such a situation, wrote down a Codex for all Cerians to follow, especially when it came to Earth. From all the creations, the humans turned out to be the most interesting ones, and the High Council decided to not intervene in their evolution unless absolutely necessary. Enraged by the blatant disrespect of their creation, and the pacifistic views of the High Council, the Architects engineered intricate ideas that they planted inside key members of the human society, to create weapons so great they would kill them all. The Architects used a loophole to their advantage, and almost completely destroyed one of Life's greatest achievements. Horrible wars were fought, millions of people perished, pain and suffering governed the Earth, and nothing seemed to ever give those who survived their hope back.

Inheriting a world in decline, a land with fewer resources than ever before, the remaining humans gathered into small tribes and sought refuge in what once were cities and towns. Cut off from each other, over the next two centuries each town and city looked for ways to ensure their people's survival. Some failed, while others thrived. It was only a matter of finding a right balance.

The nuclear war they survived left them little choice but to isolate themselves until the surrounding area was viable again. Using the smartest among them, the people created a new society based on factions. Each individual had their faction contributed in their own way. While it wasn't prohibited to visit, and learn from one another, there were those who thought that each individual should stay where they belonged, and there only. But there were those among these people who were blessed by the Heaven above, who understood that unity is more important than factions, and everyone had the right to be who they chose to be.

These individuals each received a beautiful gift, but like every gift it caused jealousy and suspicion among those who couldn't understand its true meaning. The Gifted were hunted down, killed or experimented on, so much that today they were fewer in numbers than ever, and there was no one left to teach the new generation about the old ways, and the importance of their gifts.

"Mom?" I asked, as my mother sat on my bed, resting against my headboard. She only made a humming sound, and I continued. "Will someone come, and take me away?"

"Oh, no, Beatrice. Of course, not," mom told me reassuringly. I looked up at her, and almost believed her, if it wasn't for that flicker in her eyes whenever I asked that question. "Don't worry, sweetheart. You will be alright. I promise." Mom kissed my forehead, and turned off the light.

I waited for her to leave my room, until I got out of my bed, knelt down in front of it, and pulled out a large dusty book I found a few weeks earlier in an old tunnel underneath the city. I could barely read it, but I could tell already it was important. I wanted to know everything it said, but I heard someone walking down our hallway. I quickly hid the book underneath my bed again, climbed into bed, pulled the sheets up, and pretended I was asleep. I could tell it was dad from the cologne that wafted into my room, and tickled my nostrils. He took a few steps toward my bed, and I felt his lips touch my forehead.

"Sleep tight, baby girl," he whispered, before leaving my room. I smiled to myself, and finally allowed slumber to claim me.

 

Chapter 1: Firefly leads the way

Ten years later.

I woke early that morning. It was the day I would take a very important test. Perhaps the most important test of my life. The Aptitude Test, designed by Erudite, the faction of the smart people, was meant to tell the tested person to which faction he or she belonged. Those who took the test didn't speak of it much. The only thing I knew was that they would inject me with something, a serum of some sort.

I really don't understand why this test was even necessary. Everyone was allowed to explore a year in advance every faction, even spend several days in one to see how things worked inside each of the five factions. But my parents told me that Erudite insisted this test would reduce the chances of failure. To them, failing wasn't even an option. I really don't get it. How could a test tell me something my own heart and mind couldn't? If I myself don't know who I am, then how could a test?

I shake my head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. I've already spend more than a half hour lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering what this test will tell me. As I slip out from under my blanket, I stand on the hardwood floor, and shiver slightly. I really need to keep my slippers close by in the morning. I put them on, go to my closet, and look for something to wear. My mind, though, is racing back to the test. Whatever the test says, I know where I want to go, and what I want to do. My parents made sure ever since I was little to learn all about the five factions of our city, how they work, what role they play in our society, and what each would expect me to do if I choose to join.

Erudite, the smart ones, are all about science, innovation, and knowledge. The more an Erudite knew, the more respected he was. They wanted to know everything to an extent that it bordered on intruding into people's privacy. If it were up to them, they would put cameras in everyone's room to study us. My father used to be like that. He was born in that faction but when his time came to choose, he chose Abnegation.

Abnegation, the selfless ones, are the people who look out for others less fortunate. They help the factionless, those who chose to either not live in a faction or just didn't meet up with the requirements of the faction they chose. It was Abnegation who brought these people clothes, and food, and tried to integrate them into society through social programs. The other factions looked at Abnegation with suspicion, especially Erudite, being jealous. Abnegation was the faction that governed the city from the early days on. Not seeking wealth or power for themselves, they were the perfect candidates. But in the last two hundred years the City Council decided to include the other factions as well, and they all agreed on a voting system. Each faction was represented by three ambassadors. However, to Erudite a mere three seats on the council wasn't enough, and they always pushed for their ideas to be voted into legality. They believed that the best way for the city to thrive was for each faction to concentrate on their task, without getting involved in the others. Abnegation saw things differently, but proceeded with caution, since they weren't often too popular for the periods of austerity they imposed. It was always necessary, but to the people in the city they were just a nuisance, and at times endangered to be overthrown.

One of Abnegation's most loyal allies was Amity, the faction of the kind. The Amity people were simple people who worked the land, and provided the city with food. Rather isolated compared to the others, they lived peaceful lives, and understood the importance to ration your food, especially when they were hit by natural calamities. Erudite did a wonderful job finding ways to protect crops and create medicine to cure livestock, but sometimes all the advancements of science couldn't guarantee a plentiful harvest.

Candor, the faction of the honest, were in charge of the law. They would study it, perfect it, and they were sought out for advice when someone committed a crime. They were judge and jury in most cases, the other factions were only called when something extraordinary happened. Used to a certain lifestyle, Candor wasn't particularly happy with measures the council imposed on its citizens. They were therefore inclined to side with Erudite, despite not having the best of opinion about them.

The last of the five factions is Dauntless. The Dauntless are a particular breed of crazy people or so they like to present themselves. They are fearless, daring, and just a hint of nuts. But you know you can rely on them to protect you. Despite not having visitors from other cities, the Dauntless train daily to be able to defend us all. Some two hundred years ago, the founders of our society built a fence all around the cityto ensure that the citizens would be protected. Dauntless act like a police force, making sure no one inside causes trouble either. Working together with Candor, Dauntless apprehends troublemakers and criminals and brings them to Candor where they will be judged according to their crime.

"Beatrice, hurry, we're gonna be late," I hear my brother's voice coming from across the hall. I check the time, and see that it is almost 8.30 am. We still have a little bit to walk until we get to our school, where the test will be administered, and where we'll have school later. I let my brother know I'm almost done, pull some clothes on, rush into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and comb my hair, and within ten minutes I'm ready to go.

My brother, being almost a year older than I am, scolds me for being late, but stops once he sees how nervous I am. He puts his arms around my shoulder, kisses my left temple, and tells me that it'll be fine. The test will be over in no time, and I will know which faction to choose.

"I still don't understand why we have to go through this test," I tell him frustrated.

"Beatrice, we've been through this before. It will help you choose," he says exasperated.

"What if I don't want to choose the faction the test tells me to?" I ask him, genuinely curious about what would happen then.

"You have the right to choose whatever faction you think will be good for you. The test is there to tell you were you would fit in best, though."

"What if I have already made up my mind?"

"Then hopefully the test will reflect that," Caleb replies, becoming more and more annoyed.

"If I already know what I'll choose, why do I still have to take the test?" That was something that always befuddled me. I know what I want. Why do I have to go through this tedious test?

"You ask too many questions. That's the way it is," he says, and starts walking faster, leaving me behind. I stop for a moment, and look at my brother's retrieving back, when I suddenly have a strange feeling.

I remain rooted to the spot, trying to figure out what it is. Am I this nervous? No. Am I sick? I don't feel sick. What is this strange feeling?

A breeze of air hits me in the face, and I close my eyes, trying to avoid dust to irritate them. I start coughing, and the more I try to breathe, the harder it gets. I turn around, hoping to be able to take a deep breath, but the wind seems to be everywhere at once, stopping me from even opening my eyes.

"Tris!" I hear someone calling my name.

"Caleb?" I call, but it is impossible for me to see if it's him. Where did this damned wind come from.

"Tris!" I hear the voice again. Someone is calling my name, but I can make out who it is.

The wind intensifies, and to avoid being hit too hard, I crouch down, and wrap my arms over my head, trying to keep dust and sand out of my eyes, mouth and nose. I silently pray to the heaven that this unearthly storm will fade soon.

"Tris!" The voice calls out for me again, but this time it sounded much closer. I lift my head slightly, trying to open my eyes, but the wind speed is still too high to even begin to outline something. "Tris!" The voice is coming closer, and I inwardly shake. What is this? Is this a joke? A trick? Does someone want to scare me? "Tris!" The voice is right in front of me now. I reach out my hand, grabbing the air, trying to find that person who keeps calling me over and over again. "Tris!" There! The voice is right beside me, to my right. I turn my head, almost causing me to fall over. I pry my eyes open, trying to see who it is that keeps calling me, but as they flutter open, the wind dissipates, and I am in an alley close by to the school. How did I get here? Did the wind bring me here? No. I didn't move an inch from where I was standing. How did I get here? "Tris!" I hear the voice again. It is moving. It is trying to get away.

"Wait!" I shout out, starting to move from my spot, setting one foot in front of the other, until I find myself running. I run after a ghost. There is no one here but me. Not even factionless are rummaging through the garbage or kids playing hide and seek. I am all alone with the ghost who keeps calling my name.

"Tris!" I hear the voice much clearer than before. It is right here, right where I am standing now. I look around frantically, trying to get a glimpse of the creature that seemingly was send to haunt me.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" I yell out. I've had it with this ghost.

I turn around, wanting to go back to the school, hoping I am in not too much trouble, when a creaking sound to my left makes me snap my head in that direction. A large rusted metal door slowly opens. There is no one here but me and my ghost, and I wonder what all this means. If I leave now, I might never know what lies beyond that door. If I stay, I might face an unknown danger.

Curiosity wins over, and apprehensively I step into the darkened room that lies beyond the rusted metal door. Immediately, a stench of stale water, dust, and something rotting hits me hard, and I gag a few times, trying my hardest not to heave. I look around, trying to figure out why a ghost would want me to enter this building. It is clearly abandoned, and looks as if it might fall down any moment.

"Tris!" I hear the voice again. It's somewhere to my right, and I suddenly spot a small light, like a firefly, moving frantically ahead. I chase after it, wondering if it called my name. As the thought forms in my head, I laugh to myself. How could a firefly call me? It doesn't even have a voice. On the other hand, nothing that has happened in the past ten or so minutes is normal, so why not a talking bug?

I am right behind the firefly, walking calmly after it. I take turns to the left, then turns to the right, so many I wonder if this is a building or a maze. It look like a warehouse to me, large metal boxes fill the room, but you could tell by the thick layer of dust that it hasn't been used in years or even decades. I don't pay much attention to the path I took, figuring I can follow my own footsteps back out.

The firefly stops in front of a wooden door, flying around it in circles. I think it wants me to open it, but I'm not sure that's a wise idea. The room I'm in right now is dark enough to barely make out things. What if what lies beyond is more darkness?

"Tris!" the voice calls again.

"I know I'm going to regret this," I say out loud, although no one is here to hear me. Well, no one but the firefly.

I reach for the doorknob, and slowly pry the door open. As I suspected, the room behind the door is just as dark as the one I'm in right now, but a curious sound catches my attention. What is that? I take a step into the room, willing my ears to hear better, wishing my mind could tell me what it is I'm even hearing. As I step inside fully, the door closes behind me, and I shriek. I turn around, trying to open the door again, but it won't move. I try pulling at it harder, but it doesn't open. I start hitting it with the palms of my hands, screaming for someone, anyone to get me out of here, but no one is coming. And who did I expect to come? No one knows where I am. I don't know where I am.

"Tris!" the voice calls me again. I turn around irritated, and realize the room I'm in, isn't an actual room, but a staircase. I wonder if I will find something going up, but just as I set my foot on a stair to go upwards, the firefly moves frantically in front of my face, and then flies toward the stairs that lead a level below. That's so not creepy!

I look at the stairs that lead up, a soft light shining through a window, and then down where it's dark, and frankly scary. I am not one to scare that easily, but I have to admit, being here all alone with a firefly for a companion, I must be completely nuts to go where it wants me to go. I hang my head, and sigh. I'm going down.

I take one step after the other, further down to where the noise is coming from. What is this? It almost sounds like water. Is there a burst pipe? A river? I know it's not the sewer water. That was averted a long time ago. Why do I even want to know? Damn my curiosity! I stop, and look up. The path to the ground level seems so much darker going up than it actually was coming down. And I couldn't have walked for that long to be so far away from the light on the level above, where I initially wanted to go. What is going on here?

"Tris!" I hear the voice again, and as I look down an eerie green light appears at the bottom. I don't know what this is, but I don't like it. I start to regret my decision to come down here, and decide to just return to the surface. My plan, however, starts crumbling the moment the stairs start moving dangerously. I look up frightened, watching as chunks of concrete are plummeting toward me. Pieces of the staircase fall to the ground, burying me down here, alive. My only choice is to go down.

I start running faster than I even thought possible, I follow the staircase without giving it a second thought. I run close to the wall, hoping the pieces of large chunks of concrete will miss me miraculously, and they do. I don't dwell too much on it, though, wanting to get the hell out of here.

The more I run, the closer I get to the light. Whatever that light is, it can't be worse than what's happening here. I reach the bottom of the stairs, pieces of concrete falling next to me, dust and fine pebbles hit me over the head, and cover my shoulders. But all that, the danger I am in, is pushed back as I lay my eyes on the source of the light. A large door-like entrance, with its edges flickering a softer green and blue, a sort of gateway to another place. That's when I hear it again. Water. Yes, definitely water. It sounds like a waterfall.

A large piece of stairs falls right next to me, making me yelp out in surprise. As intrigued as I am about the wonders that may lie ahead of me, as cautious I am. But between being crushed by a crumbling down building, and entering a room that might hold more dangerous for me, I choose the latter. Whatever I do from now on, there's no going back.

I step through the door, just as I hear a roaring sound behind me. I turn around, already safe on the other side, and watch as the spot I just stood in is covered with what remained of the staircase. I can't help the sigh of relief that leaves my mouth, and take a moment to thank heaven I'm still alive.

After calming a bit, my heart rate decreased to a normal speed, I turn my gaze to what the mysterious gateway took me to. I gasp in awe as I take the sight before me in. I don't know where I am, but I'm definitely not in the city anymore. Right a few feet below me is a large body of water. It is warm and humid, and natural light streams in from the ceiling above. In fact, there is no ceiling, it's just a large hole in the ground. The whole room in cylinder shaped, and from water level about fifty feet tall, and at least just as much wide. From up above, water is cascading down into the pond below, which explains the rushing sound I heard while coming down here, wherever here is. I notice a stairway to my left that leads directly to the water. Looking to my right there is only wall, so the only other way I can take now is to my left. I cautiously climb down the stairs, not wanting to slip and fall, when I notice someone in the water.

"Hello?" I shout, making sure whoever it is hears me. The person turns around, and I gasp in surprise. "Susan?" I ask.

"Tris?" she asks flabbergasted. I rush down the last few stairs until I reach the bottom, still staring at my best friend just swimming in the pond as if nothing.

"How'd you get here?" I ask. I knew she was visiting her mother's sister in Amity this week, but would have been back tomorrow for the Choosing Ceremony, since her brother is about to choose.

"I don't know really. I was walking with my aunt through the orchards, when someone suddenly called my name. I thought it was my aunt, but I realized that it was a male voice. I asked who it was, but he didn't answer, instead he kept calling. The strangest thing, though, my aunt just disappeared. I know you'd say I'm stupid, but I followed the voice, until I got here," she says, as she swims towards me.

"You aren't stupider than me. The same happened to me," I tell her as she gets out, a confused expression on her face.

We tell each other in detail exactly how we got here, realizing that our journeys to this place were similar from the beginning. Both gateways that led us here were now closed. We checked. There was no other way in or out. It was impossible to climb out, and I doubted anyone could find us. It was up to us to get out somehow.

As I looked around to inspect the room, I realized something. Water was coming in, but the water level didn't rise, which meant, the water was draining out somewhere below. Maybe wherever the water went had a big enough hole for Susan and me to swim through. Sensing Susan's insecurity, I offer to check it out alone. She is hesitant, but ultimately accepts my reasoning. I undress, and as I step into the water I realize how warm it is. It's not hot like in a bath tub, but just right. But as I swim a little around I feel this strange feeling again, as if something is about to happen. I remain still, just floating, waiting for something, anything really, to happen. When nothing happens, I dive to take a look at what lies beneath the surface. Thankfully, the sunlight shines bright enough to allow me to see the ground. The pond is much deeper than I thought, and I wonder momentarily if we will even be able to hold our breath for this long. Looking around for an escape, I see deep down a tunnel like structure, and see how the current intensifies there. This means, that's where the excess water is flowing out. I resurface, telling Susan that I found something, but wanted to check it out before we even attempt to dive, and try to escape through there.

She nods uneasy, but doesn't stop me. She knows I'm stubborn, and it might be our only way out. I take a deep breath, and dive. Knowing my destination, I waste no time, and reach the drain immediately. I look through it, and it is dark, so dark I can't see a thing. It looks large enough for a person to swim through, but as I stare into nothingness I wonder if this is such a good idea. Just as I want to turn around, a bright green light shines at the end of the tunnel, making me wonder if it might be another gateway. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but now I at least had enough light to see where I was going. I push myself into the tunnel and swim quickly toward the light. As I approach it, I realize the tunnel was widening, and soon there was a large opening ahead of me. I push myself harder, feeling myself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen, and surface into a cave.

The first thing I do is take huge breaths to calm my aching lungs. Once satisfied, I look around to see where I am. The cave seems small, but looking upward I can see daylight streaming in. I allow myself another moment to rest, before I dive again, and return to the cylinder-shaped room. I am much quicker now that I know the way, and as I resurface I feel as if something large just breathed on me. Opening my eyes to see if there wasn't some sort of water monster, I only see Susan at the shore, jumping up and down in delight.

"Oh, God, Tris! I thought you drowned," she says, relieved that I made it back.

"Please. As if some silly pond could take me," I say mockingly. She rolls her eyes, and I swim toward her.

"And?" she asks, full of anticipation.

"I found an exit. We need to take our stuff. Put our clothes in my bag, please," I ask her and she nods. I am glad now that dad bought me the water resistant school bag that he wanted instead of the cheaper one I wanted. Back then, I hoped to run around in the rain and ruin my notebooks. At least that way I had the perfect excuse for not having my homework. Now, I'm glad he didn't listen to me. At least when we get out we will be able to put on dry clothes.

Susan hands me the bag, and I put it around my neck, strapping it tight around my body. I wait for my friend to enter the water, and I tell her what to expect. We both take a deep breath, her hand in mine, and we dive together toward the exit. I swim as fast as I can, not wanting her to panic. Thankfully, she is a trooper, and we soon resurface in the cave.

I allow us both to catch our breath after the deep dive, and once we're both ready we swim to the shore, climb out of the water, and put our clothes on. Much more slippery than the pond room, Susan and I are extra careful to not slip on the wet rocky cave floor as we make our way toward the exit. We can already see daylight, and are thankful that we found our way out, no matter where we end up. Whatever this place is, it's certainly not normal.

I go ahead, too curious to wait any longer to find out where we are, when I realize just as I step outside that we are in Abnegation. How the hell did we end up here?

"Is this the meadow?" Susan asks, coming out behind me. I only nod. Susan, Robert, her brother, Caleb and I used to play here when we were younger so it's very familiar to us. "How did we get here?" she asks.

"Beats me," I say stunned. This whole day is so weird. So, why not come out here?

We walk silently toward the houses, both thinking of what happened today. At least, I am. We approach the first houses, when I realize I should be in school. What the heck am I going to tell my parents? They'll never believe me in a million years what I just went through. I can hardly believe it, and I was there the whole time. I don't have time to crack my skull over what to say and what to do, because my father, Mr. Black, Susan's father, and Marcus, our leader, come straight toward us. At first they don't notice us, engulfed in their conversation, and for a second I think we can hide, but just as quickly as I had the idea, Mr. Black looks forward and sees us.

"Girls, what are you doing here? You should be in school," he asks befuddled

"Uhm," I stutter.

"Beatrice, why is your hair wet? What happened?" he asks, a stern look on his face. He might have asked 'what happened', but what he meant was 'what did you do now'. Marcus just gives a disapproving look, and tells our dads he will let them handle this, and wait for them at the Abnegation Council Buidling.

"Dad, I," I keep mumbling, not sure what exactly to say. 'I went through a supernatural portal that took me to a underground pond' doesn't sound that good. Next to me, Susan shivers, and when she sneezes, her dad decides to take her to the hospital to get checked out. He and Mrs. Black are very obsessed with their kids not getting sick. They would do anything to prevent that. It doesn't surprise me he is overreacting. I give my friend a sympathetic look, and mouth 'see you later'. She nods her head, and walks with her dad in the opposite direction from where we came from.

My dad is still staring at me, and I just hang my head. There is nothing I could say, or do, that would get me out of trouble.

"Let's go home. We'll discuss this at night when mom's home," he tells me.

We walk home in silence, and I feel a heavy burden on my shoulders. I hate disappointing dad, and he really seemed upset when he first saw me. He unlocks the door, and ushers me inside, asking me to clean myself up, and start dinner. I look at him curiously, not understanding why I should start with dinner so early. I only nod my head, and go upstairs. I hear the front door close, and know he is gone.

As I enter my room, I get rid of my clothes, putting them in the hamper, and look at my clock on my nightstand. What? It says five pm. When did it turn so late? It was just morning when I left with Caleb. And even the time Susan and I spend in the pond room, and earlier myself alone in the warehouse couldn't have been more than two hours, three tops. But my alarm clock says it's nearly five pm. I was gone for over eight hours. How is that possible?

I go into the bathroom, take a quick shower, and rush back into my room to get dressed. I hurry downstairs to start making dinner, when mom enters the house.

"We need to talk," she says seriously, and I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. I've been in trouble before, but this seems even worse than anything that ever happened. We go to my room, and the moment the door is closed, mom turns to look at me, a serious expression on her face. "I need you to tell me the truth. You know you can trust me with everything," she says, and I tilt my head a little to the side, not quite understanding where she's coming from. I know I can trust her, but what does that have to do with anything? I nod my head, since she is still expecting my answer, and I wait for her to continue. "Where were you today?" I open my mouth, but mom quickly adds, "and don't lie." She gives me a stern look, and I nod my head again.

I didn't want to tell mom what happened, because frankly I don't know what happened. But mom was always sort of my accomplice when I did shit. And boy, did I do shit!

I start by telling mom about the strange wind, and the voice, and the firefly. I tell her how I just moved without actually moving into an alley, and how I went into an warehouse that started to crumble down, as I descendent a staircase into the basement, where a strange portal took me to a underground pond. I tell her that I found Susan Black there, and something similar happened to her. I tell my mom how I found an exit, and how we came out in Abnegation.

Mom remains quiet the whole time, listening intently. I almost expected her to say I was daydreaming everything, but she remains completely still, as if she is made out of stone.

"Mom, say something," I say, desperate for her input. Does she believe me? Does she think I'm crazy? Am I crazy?

"Did you feel something?" she suddenly asks. What? What does she mean? My confused look must tell her I didn't understand what she meant, so she explains. "Did you feel anything during this whole event?" she asks, but I don't know what she means. I think back at all that happened to me. Yes. I felt strange. I nod my head.

"I don't know exactly how to describe it, nut I felt strange, like deep down I knew something was about to happen, but I couldn't pin-point it." She nods her head, as if she actually understood what I felt. I watch her as she stands up, and paces in front of me. Or maybe, she actually understands what I felt.

"That's all? Just the feeling that something is about to happen?" she asks, and stares at me. "Nothing else?" she insists. I try to understand what she means, but I'm virtually left out of her train of thought. I try to think of anything else, but there isn't. Unless…

"I felt like something was breathing on me when I was in the water," I say, and mom's eyes widen.

"So, it happened. It really happened," she mumbles. I don't understand what she means, but the way she talks, and acts freaks me out.

"Mom," I say a little unsure. Her eyes lock with mine, and she stares at me, a small smile forming on her beautiful face.

"You received the gift," she says, and I just stare blankly at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What do you think?


	2. What did you say?

The gift? What the hell is she talking about? I stare at my mother dumbfounded, but she just smiles. Her smile, however, doesn't betray the concern in her eyes. What?

"Sweetheart," mom starts talking again, and sits down next to me on my bed. "Do you remember all the stories I've told you when you were little, about how the world came to exist, and who created it?" she asks. That's an odd thing to ask. I know what she means, but I don't really know what that has to do with anything. I just nod my head, hoping she would enlighten me. "Those stories aren't so much stories," she says, and I feel myself getting dizzy. I want to ask 'what', and laugh, and just stare at her. I guess, I must have actually done those things, because she scowls.

"Mom, I know you have a bit different beliefs than other people," I start saying, and she shakes her head. My mom always believed these stories, she didn't pray to God like the other people, but to Heaven, and when she asked for something she again never said God but Pillars.

"Honey, the stories are true," she says, and I know she must be joking. I stand up, walk away from my bed, my back turned to her. "How can I make her believe me? If she really went through the change, she will be in danger," mom says, and I turn around so quickly, I actually heard a swooshing sound.

"Mom, what danger? What change? And why are you talking as if I'm not even here?" I ask her confused. She looks at me flabbergasted, her mouth slightly hanging open. That's so strange. Does this day never end?

"You heard that?" she asks, as if she didn't just say it out loud. How could I not have heard it? It's not like this is a very large room or that she even attempted to whisper it. Then again, why say it aloud at all? Mom starts smiling widely. Has she gone mad? "Sweetie, there is something I need to tell you. Please, keep an open mind, and let me finish before you ask questions," she requires, and I nod. I don't really like where this is going, but I need to know more. If mom can explain what the hell happened today than I'll be glad to at least know that. "The story I used to tell you about the Pillars, about the Architects, and about the first humans is all true. When a human reaches a certain level of emotional, physical, and intellectual maturity, he hears the Calling. It is different for each person. Some are called as young as twelve years old others well passed twenty. Everyone reaches the Pond of Knowledge in a different way. What you and Susan experienced," she says, taking a breath, while my eyes are wide, staring at her in disbelief. "The Calling is real. Only the one who is called can hear the voice. It is, however, your choice to ignore it. But once you follow it, you are most certainly led to the Pond. The body of water you and Susan found is called the Pond of Knowledge. Remember when you told me you felt strange, as if something was about to happen?" she asks, and I nod. "And that something felt like an invisible monster was breathing on you?" I nod again. "That's when the Change happened. There is a handful of people in the world who are given a Gift. Each gift is different." She then stops talking, just looking at me with a concerned look on her face.

"What?" I ask confused.

"There are some who don't understand these gifts, who want to exploit them, and even kill us. My sweet girl, we have so little time," she says, her voice quivering, and I can see the despair in her eyes.

"Mom, you scare me. What do you mean, us? Are you?" I start asking, and she smiles a little.

"Yes. I heard the Calling when I was fifteen years old, and I found the Pond just like you did. I didn't know what the Change meant for me, until weeks later. My best friend, Hana, she learned to control her gift right away, but it took me much longer."

"What is your gift?" I ask her curiously.

"I can see," she says with a warm smile. I frown at her. That's the dumbest answer ever. I keep my mouth shut, and mom chuckles. "You don't know what I mean," she says. Well, duh. I roll my eyes at her, and she giggles a little. "I can see the future." She remains silent after that, allowing me to take it in. Did she just say she can see the future? How's that possible?

Mom explains how she didn't quite know she had this gift. And when she started having dreams she didn't think much of it. It was only after she started actually living her premonitions, that it all made sense. Together with Hana, mom and a few others learned to control their powers. Mom explains that everyone receives a different gift. For her, it was visions of the future, while for Hana it was time manipulation. When I asked what she meant, she only said Hana would explain it once I transfer to Dauntless. At the mention of that my eyes go wide, and she chuckles.

"I've known for a long time. And no, it's not because of my gift, but because I know you, my little hellion." We both laugh at that. "I know this is strange to you, and you must have a million questions, and I wish we had more time. I will try to meet with you as often as I can, and I will call Hana to guide you through this time of transition."

Mom continues to explain to me to watch out, although I don't really know how. I don't know what my gift is, or if I can even control it. Mom smiles lovingly at me.

"I think you are a telepath," mom says, and my eyes widen in surprise.

"What?"

"You can read people's minds," she says. I shake my head, not believing what I'm hearing. She must be mistaken. "Before, when your back was turned to me, I was thinking how to make you believe me," she says. I know, I heard she said it out loud. Right? As if seeing the gears in my head turn, she smiles softly. "I didn't say a word, I just thought all of it."

I can read people's minds?

Seeing my uneasiness, mom embraces me lovingly, and kisses my head. She comforts me, telling me everything will be alright, and she will help me train my powers. She then proceeds to call my surrogate mother, Hana Pedrad, who still lives in Dauntless, telling her that I went through the Change. Giving her a few details, the two decide to meet later at a secret hiding place, where mom and Hana taught me how to fight, and be able to defend myself. Back when we first started doing this, I thought it was odd for mom to encourage such Dauntless behavior, but now I see that she always knew I would choose her birth faction.

Not wanting to let me stew alone in my room, mom asks me to help her with dinner, just in time for dad and Caleb to arrive. Dad had still work to do, while Caleb was out volunteering at the soup kitchen. Upon entering the house, mom asks Caleb to go upstairs and clean himself up, and then help me with dinner, while she pulls dad up to their bedroom, probably to let him know about what happened to me. Dad gives me a both confused and angry look, but doesn't say anything. He follows mom upstairs, and I just concentrate on my chore.

As I prepare the vegetables, I can't help but let my mind wonder how dad will take the news of my, well, I don't know what this is. My change, I guess. Mom said I can read minds, but that just seems so crazy. However, she swears she didn't actually speak when I heard her say those things. Maybe I can do it again. The only problem is, I don't know how. I close my eyes, concentrating on my parents upstairs, trying to invade their minds, but just as I think I might hear something I realize I actually do, but it's not in my mind. They both come downstairs, and dad looks conflicted. He avoids looking at me, but mom gives me a reassuring smile.

"Beatrice, after dinner is ready, I would like to talk to you for a moment," dad says. I only nod, swallowing hard past the lump in my throat.

"How about you two talk now. I can take care of dinner, I wanted to spend some time with Caleb anyway," mom says, and nudges us both out of the backdoor. I give mom a pleading look, not ready to face dad just yet. But with me choosing Dauntless tomorrow I have no choice. This might be the last time in a long while that I get to speak to my father.

Reluctantly, we both leave the house, and as we start walking I realize we go toward the meadow. Dad is still very quiet, and I am not sure if I like this or not. Dad never was particularly chatty, but given everything that led up to this moment, I can't help but feel a tad nervous.

Today, dad discovered yet another one of my "adventures", and in the presence of Marcus, our leader, no less. There is also the looming threat of me leaving, and I think deep down dad knows I will. And then, the gift. I still can't wrap my head around all that mom told me, about the Pillars, the Architects, and humans with super-secret powers. She says I can read minds, but I would give anything to read dad's right about now. I try to concentrate on him, hoping I could get a glimpse of what is troubling him.

"Beatrice," he says. For a moment I smile, foolishly thinking I could manage to do the impossible, proof that I am not insane, that my mother isn't lying to me, that I can really do what she thinks I can. Looking up at him, I realize, he was actually talking to me, and now my full attention is required. I nod my head, hoping he will say something to me that will put my mind at ease, and calm my pounding heart. "Your mother told me about what happened today," he says. Mom already told me that dad knows about her gift, and the possibility that either Caleb or I or both of us could hear the Calling too. But like everything that has happened today, I am not sure what to say or what to do, since all I can say or do is insufficient to even begin to explain how I feel.

Dad leads me to an old bench, the paint almost entirely faded from being exposed for too long to the elements. We sit down, both of us quiet as a tomb, and a little part of me dies inside every second he is ignoring me.

"What can I say to her?" I hear my dad's voice. My head snaps in his direction. He looks straight ahead, staring into the setting sun, his lips pursed. "Her mother is the one with the expertise. Natalie wants me to talk to her, to reassure her. How can I? I barely understand it all." I listen to my father's thoughts, hearing his own anguish, his own helplessness, and I smile. Not because it is amusing to me, or in any way reassuring that he seems to be just as clueless as I am, but for the fact that he loves me enough to try. Sometimes, half the battle is won by trying. The other half by actually doing. And I know my dad. He is a doer. He is a fighter.

"I love you, daddy," I tell him, and hug him, surprising him a little. It only takes him a moment, to put his arms around me, hugging me tightly to him, kissing my crown, and whispering the words back.

"Your mother wants me to talk to you," he says, and I nod still wrapped in his arms. "I don't know what to say," he confesses.

"Don't say anything. Anything I needed to hear, you already told me." I feel him pull back slightly, looking at me intently, searching my face. A soft smile forms on his face, and I reciprocate. "I don't know what all this means, but mom told me she would help me." He nods. "Daddy?" My voice is trembling, my body shaking. I have to tell him that I'm leaving. I'm not leaving because of him, because of them. I'm leaving because of me, because I don't truly belong here.

"What is it, baby girl?"

"I will choose Dauntless tomorrow," I tell him. There is no need to prolong this. I want to be able to say goodbye to him properly. For a moment, his face falls, but then he closes his eyes, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

"I figured. You never really belonged in Abnegation, and with all the trouble you always caused," he says, and chuckles amused.

"You are not mad?" I ask him. He opens his eyes, his hands cupping my face, and his lips touch my forehead firmly.

"I love you, sweetheart, more than you'll ever know. I want you to be happy, and this is not the faction for you to be happy. There is so much Dauntless in you, you would probably burn this place down," he laughs a little.

"Not on purpose," I defend. He nods.

"Whatever lies ahead of you, I will always love you, and I will be proud of you. Obviously, I wish I could have you with me forever, but I will be always here for you when you need me. I am glad your mom taught you to defend yourself," he says, surprising me a little. He knew? What am I asking? Of course, he did. Mom and dad don't have secrets.

"Thank you, daddy," I tell him, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks. I hug him again, and allow myself this moment of weakness. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

We sit for a little while longer just watching the sunset, but then get up and return home. Before we enter, I stop my father for one last question.

"Will you visit me?" I ask unsure.

"Of course, I will."

Entering the house, I can already smell the delicious home cooked meal. I set the table, and dad and I wait for mom and Caleb to emerge from upstairs. Both seem emotional, and I can see that both shed tears as well.

We try to look happy, but the reality of the situation weighs down on all of us. I don't know if Caleb will choose Abnegation or will choose to leave, but I for sure know I need to follow my own path, and my path leads me to Dauntless.


	3. The certainty in the uncertainty

The long walk up the stairs to the Hub's Choosing Ceremony amphitheater is tedious, and emotion filled. I am excited to choose my new faction. I am sad for leaving my parents. I am curious to see what faction my brother chooses. Scared I might not be cut out for Dauntless after all. Terrified about making a fool out of myself. Worried about what my gift might mean.

Late last night, mom sneaked into my room to tell me some more about my gift, and why I should keep it hidden. There are people in our city who aren't too happy with others being different, and receiving the Gift is as different as you can get. Mom didn't say it out loud, but I could tell that people like me might not be too safe once the truth comes out. To say that stopped me from getting some sleep is the understatement of the year. She promised me, however, that Hana would explain more, and as soon as the opportunity arises, she will join us. We still need to figure out how to control my ability, but we will figure it out together. We always do.

Entering the ceremony room, I look around to find my best friend, Susan. I haven't seen her since yesterday when her dad dragged her to the hospital to get checked out. I look around, and see her brother. I walk toward him, greeting him, making a little small talk, and then casually ask where Susan is. She was so excited to be here for him, but I can't see her anywhere.

"Who?" he asks. I give him a curious look, thinking he is trying to mess with me.

"Come on, Robert. Where is she?" I ask, really annoyed he would pull such a crap today.

"I don't know who you are talking about," he says, confusion written all over his face. This is a joke.

"Robert, stop it already. Where's your sister?" I ask. His eyes widen, his mouth agape. He shakes his head, and I can sense someone coming closer. I don't turn around though, wanting my answer.

"Beatrice, what are you talking about? Are you sick?" he asks.

"Damn it, Robert. Where is Susan?" I ask again, a little louder, causing both our parents to come closer.

"What seems to be the matter here?" Mr. Black asks. He has to know where his daughter is. He was the last person who saw her.

"Mr. Black, where is Susan?" I desperately ask. I feel someone holding my shoulders, and as I turn slightly I see my mother, a concerned look on her face.

"I don't know who you are talking about," he says. He seems genuinely confused by my inquiry, and looks from me to Robert and then his wife. They all shrug, and before I can ask any more questions, mom pulls me outside into the hallway. I faintly hear my dad say that I am just overwhelmed with the magnitude of what today represents, and he profusely apologizes for my inappropriate behavior.

Mom pulls me far away from anyone to hear us, and then asks what is going on with me. I tell her that I just wanted to know about Susan and why she wasn't here for her brother's choosing, but the Blacks pretended not to know who she is. How is this possible? Susan is their child, Robert's sister. They have to know her. Why wouldn't they tell me?

My mother wraps me in her arms, trying to comfort me, as she whispers to me to calm down. When I finally do, I push her away a little, but she remains rooted to the spot.

"They probably don't remember her. There is a serum, called Memory Serum that wipes out memories. Either specific ones, or the whole thing. Over the years people disappeared, and their loved ones where given this serum, without their knowledge of course, to forget that person even existed. That's why I told you to be careful."

I am struck silent. Why would anyone want to wipe Susan out? Where is she?

"Mom, where could she be?" I ask, dreading the answer.

"I don't know, baby girl. I will try to find out. I promise. For now, you need to stop asking questions. Don't drag attention to you. It could be dangerous," she tells me seriously. I nod my head, her words from yesterday filling my mind, and I hope that my friend is alright.

We wait for another few minutes before we return to the ceremony room, just as I watch one of the Erudite leaders walk toward the stage. Mom and I hurry to our seats next to Caleb and dad, and we wait for the ceremony to start.

Jeanine Matthews, head of Erudite leadership, gives a rousing speech about the importance of our faction system, about how we will leave our childhood behind, and become full-fledged members of our society, and how we all will be part of something bigger. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. The moment Jeanine steps down, Marcus takes her place starting to call dependents, one by one, to the stage. The ceremony is simple really. A name is called, the person walks on stage, picks up a knife, cuts himself with it, and lets a few droplets of blood fall into one of five bowls. Each bowl represents a faction. Amity has a bowl filled with earth, Candor is filled with broken glass, Erudite is full of water, Abnegation's bowl contains grey stones, while Dauntless is filled with hot coals. I already know my choice.

Marcus started calling names in reverse alphabetical order, allowing me to see Caleb's choice before I am called myself. One by one, the dependents walk up to the stage, and make their choice. For most, they choose their origin faction, while some surprise us and choose differently. I am almost certain my brother will choose Abnegation. He was born for this faction.

"Prior, Caleb," Marcus says out loud, and Caleb makes his way toward the stage, never once looking back.

Suddenly, a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach forms, and I wonder if perhaps I was wrong. I consider for a moment to try and read his mind, but I still can't control it, and I will find out soon enough. I lean back, watching nervously as Caleb takes the knife from Marcus. He cuts his palm, and as he sets the knife down, his head moves from Abnegation to Erudite and back. Just as I think he will let his blood drip on the grey stones, he moves his hand, letting the few droplets hit the water. He chose Erudite. I look toward my parents. Dad is shocked, but mom just seems sad. I can't determine if she already knew or just suspected. Marcus makes the announcement, and once my brother is seated with his new faction, Marcus calls my name.

I stand up, giving my parents a sad smile. I don't want to leave them. And now that Caleb left them I second guess my choice. Should I really leave them? Is this the right thing to do?

"Choose with your heart. We will always love you," mom says. I don't turn around. I know she didn't say it out loud. I smile to myself.

I walk toward the middle of the stage, take the knife, cut myself, and without a hint of hesitation let the blood trickle on the hot coals. I don't even wait for Marcus to call out that I chose Dauntless. I turn around, giving my parents a look and a nod, before sitting down in a random seat. The Dauntless group cheers and hollers loudly, and it takes Marcus a few minutes to calm them down.

The ceremony continues, and next a Dauntless boy is called to the center. Pedrad. Hang on. That's Hana's last name. Is he her son? The dark-skinned, tall boy, with the wide grin on his face cuts his palm, chooses Dauntless, eliciting even louder cheers, hollers and even stomps as he returns to the rambunctious crowd dressed in black.

The moment the last name is called, and the Amity girl chooses to return home with her family, Marcus dismisses us, and the now initiates file out of the room. I look one last time at my parents, and remind myself next time I'll see them they will see me in Dauntless black.

I don't have much time to think about every emotion coursing through my heart because the Dauntless crowd starts running the moment we step outside of the Hub. Watching those ahead of me, I follow them to the train tracks, and anxiously wait to be taken to my new faction, to my new life. I am so excited I almost forget to start running when I see the train approach. As the fast metal devil sprints past me, I break out into a run, jumping on the train just as I run out of platform. Still new to this adrenaline filled exercise, I plop down next to a dark-skinned girl, with short black hair, beautiful chocolate brown eyes, dressed in Candor black and white.

"Wow, that was awesome," she says out of breath. I nod my head, and give her a smile. "I'm Christina, by the way," she says to me.

"Tris," I tell her the name Hana gave me years ago. I remember that day, and a smile appears on my face. "Nice to meet you," I say, and we shake hands.

We sit down next to the door, the wind rushing in, making it almost impossible to hear anything the other says, but the rush makes me feel alive, and I can't make myself standing up and moving away. Christina points toward a tall, bulky boy, who shyly looks away when I look at him. He is one of the Candor transfers, Al, short for Albert. Christina tells me she is surprised he chose Dauntless, but figured his aptitude test must have said he was. I just shrug, remembering I never got to take my test.

Yesterday, I asked my father if there would be a problem since I never took it. He assured me the test isn't mandatory, but highly encouraged. He managed to talk to the council, and explained that I felt ill all day, and was in no condition to take the test.

"Those three over there," she says, pointing toward the far end of the cart, "are Peter, Molly and Drew. They are friends, and complete douchebags. They always picked and smaller kids, taking their stuff, bullying them. I can't believe they joined Dauntless," she spits. She clearly dislikes them. I make a mental note to stay away from them. They seem like troublemakers, and I promised mom to behave. Once I become a Dauntless member I will no longer be forgiven for pranks and other shit I pull.

Besides, with the new threat hanging over my head, I don't want the wrong crowd to turn their attention to me. I still need to learn to control my gift, and understand what all this means.

"Hey, I'm Will," an Erudite boy, blonde hair with bright blue eyes says. He isn't as tall as Al, who stands right next to him, but he is tall enough to tower. I'm not surprised. With my petite frame, everyone towers over me. Will introduces two other Erudite transfers, Edward, who is slightly taller, and far more intimidating looking than Will, and his girlfriend, Myra, who doesn't look like she even wants to be here. I wonder why she chose Dauntless.

I politely say hello, introduce myself, and Christina starts chatting with them, while I just look outside the door.

As we approach taller buildings, I decide to finally stand up. Christina has long abandoned her spot next to me on the floor, and is animatedly chatting with Will and Al. Edward and Myra stand on the opposite side of where I am, and I watch them kiss. It isn't wild and passionate, rather sweet and loving. I feel like I'm intruding on a private moment, and turn my gaze toward the city.

It's beautiful! I know it's broken, and ugly at times, with all the buildings barely standing up anymore, but it is our home, and to me it's beautiful.

"Looks like we need to jump," Edward says, coming to the door, leaning out slightly to get a better look. I follow his example, and see the Dauntless-born jumping off the speeding train, landing on a building's rooftop. One by one, everyone in my cart jumps as well, until it's only me and Christina.

"Together?" I ask, as we both take a few steps back.

"Together!" Christina says confidently.

We both start running at the same time, and just as the train was about to pass the building entirely, Christina and I land unceremoniously on the roof of the seven-story building. Trying to get up after the rough landing, we look at each other and start laughing, but then a shrill cry startles us, and we look toward where it comes from. On the most right end of where we landed, several Dauntless-born and the few transfers are gathered at the ledge, looking down. I have a bad feeling about this.

"Oh, my God!" I hear Christina gasp. I look toward her and see that she too looks down. I take a few steps to join her and as my eyes follow her gaze, I see it too. I gasp, and immediately my eyes tear up.

On the ground, a Dauntless girl is lying face down, a large puddle of blood surrounding her. Her limbs are splayed out at odd angles, making her look like a puppet that was dropped by its puppeteer. I can't look anymore. I turn around, and hope that she'll be the last death I witness.

It takes the group of initiates several minutes to calm down after what they just saw, until someone calls us to the other side of the roof. A bulky dark-skinned man, who looks like he is authority around here, calls for our attention as he introduces himself.

"I'm Max. I am one of five leaders here in Dauntless." We all listen to him, as he goes on about what the faction stands for, what they expect of us, more or less, what the rules are, and eventually tells us that if we want to be Dauntless we have to jump off the building. What? Are these people nuts?

"Jump? We just jumped. They want us to jump again?" Christina whispers next to me.

I watch Max, who just stares at us, his gaze stern. I think of what he asks, and decide, this is a test. If they wanted to kill us, there are better ways than letting a bunch of teenagers jump off a building. What would be the point of that?

Itching to finally know what awaits me in my new faction, I volunteer to jump first. I hear gasps, and people whispering as I approach the ledge, and take off my grey jacket. I climb up, and as I look down to the ground I see a large hole at the bottom. Will asked if there was water down there, but whatever it is, it's worth it. Without a second thought I jump down, so excited I'm not even making a sound as I plummet to the ground, a wide grin on my face. I feel the wind rush past me, and I feel giddy as I finally hit a net. I bounce off a few times, before I finally lay still.

I take a deep breath, smiling like a crazy person. I did it! I jumped. And it was so incredible. I want to do it again. I stare up into the sky, my fellow initiates still up on that building, when I feel a tug. I look to my left, and see a figure, but it is only when he pulls harder, and I roll toward him, that I see the man's face.

He has full lips, a crooked nose, dark blue eyes, so deep like an ocean. He is tall, and his hair is short and dark brown. He has broad shoulders, but he is lean and yet muscular. Damn! He stares at me intently, and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I so hope I won't puke.

"What? You get pushed?" he asks, his voice deep, and so sexy. Wait! What? I frown.

"No," I say, my eyes narrowing. Why would he think that? What a jerk! Sexy, but jerk. Fuck! Where is this all coming from? I just got here. I have initiation to think about, not cute boys.

"A Stiff?" I hear someone say from the back of the room, a female. "A Stiff jumped first? Unheard of."

He helps me out of the net, and as I stand on the platform in front of him, he starts staring again. Why is he staring? Is my hair disheveled? Probably. I just jumped off a building into a net. Or do I have something on my teeth? Just as I want to rub my finger over my teeth, he asks for my name.

"It's Bea," I start stuttering. What the hell? I know my name. What was it again?

"Is it a hard one?" he asks, slightly amused. "You can pick a new one, if you like. But make it good. You don't get to pick again," he tells me, and gives me a beautiful smile. Shit! I feel my legs wobbly.

"Tris. My name's Tris," I finally say, forcing myself not to giggle.

"Make the announcement, Four," the same female says.

"First jumper, Tris!" he shouts, and the Dauntless gathered here start cheering. "Welcome to Dauntless!" he says, his voice softer, and a huge grin splits his face. I want to say something to him, but someone directs me off the stage, as the next initiate jumped, and now the man with the deep dark blue eyes resumes his task.

Reluctantly, I get off the platform, and watch one initiate after the other jump, and be introduced. An hour later, Four, I've learned his name is, showed us around a little, and then to the dorm room. I already had an idea about the compound's layout, since I've visited before. Thankfully, no one who knew me before was at the platform. I asked them to not let the other initiates know that I always knew I would join. Plus, I want to make a good first impression, and somehow I doubt I will if people don't take me seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Reviews as always welcomed.


	4. New faction, new life, a whole lot of challenges

Four's POV

I have just finished with the initiates, and decided to meet up with my friends for a beer in the Pit. I find Zeke standing there with James, a co-worker of ours from the control room, as well as Harrison, one of the Security Managers, Bud from the tattoo parlor, and Dwayne, one of Harrison's most trusted men.

Zeke offers me a beer, and I gladly take a sip. I am glad I can relax a little until I have to see the initiates again. I still can't believe a Stiff jumped first. That never happened before. Not even I jumped first. And she is so small, and scrawny. I don't understand why she chose to come here. She is clearly too delicate for this place.

"I can't wait to see Bee-Bee," Harrison says excited.

"Who's Bee-Bee?" Shauna asks, as she joins us. Harrison and his group of friends stand more to the side, and haven't heard her.

"Apparently, Bud's niece is an initiate this year," Zeke says, surprising me.

"I didn't know Bud had a niece," Shauna says curious.

"Me either," Zeke admits.

"I never heard Lynn or Uriah talk about a girl named Bee-Bee," Shauna comments.

"Bud's sister transferred," James fills us in.

"Make sure not to embarrass her. My sis called me and asked to let her make a good first impression," Bud says excited like a kid in a candy store. I've never seen him like this.

In the two years I've spend in Dauntless I haven't made many friends, but I always liked Bud. Despite his large frame, and rather intimidating look due to tattoos and piercings, he is a nice guy, and Tori swears even a real sweetheart. I can't quiet imagine that, but whatever.

"It's kinda funny seeing such a scary dude act like a little girl," Zeke says chuckling.

We all remain quiet, just occasionally exchanging some comments, as we listen to the three grown men next to us. It seems Harrison and Dwayne know the girl too. If she isn't Dauntless, and she is a transfer instead, that means she is one of my initiates. But which one? None of them left a lasting impression that would make me think she is related to this mountain of a man.

I decide to just push the thought aside. Whoever she is doesn't matter. She will be trained and ranked just like the others.

My friends and I go into the cafeteria, and sit down at a random table. Shauna isn't very hungry, having had a late lunch, and only eats a few of Zeke's fries, and they both share a slice of Dauntless cake. As more people file in, my mind drifts to the first jumper, Tris. I still can't believe she was the first to jump. She is either very brave or a complete nutjob. Without knowing what awaited her down there, she jumped off a building. She didn't even make a sound, and instead grinned and giggled in excitement. Shauna leaves, as she sees her sister enter, and goes to sit with her for a little bit, since starting tomorrow all initiates need to focus on their initiation.

I glance up a few times to see who enters the cafeteria, and Zeke gives me a curious smile. He doesn't say anything, but I know he is curious as to why I keep checking the door. However, he doesn't ask, and soon leaves for his shift in the control room. I am glad, because just as he leaves, a few of my initiates take a seat at my table, and one in particular right next to me. They start a conversation about food, since Tris seems to have never eaten a hamburger before. Christina, the Candor smart-mouth who commented about my unusual name, has some new comments to share, this time about why Tris left Abnegation.

"Yeah, that's why I left, because of the food," Tris says jokingly.

They then go on and on about how Candor tells the truth, and that Erudite can tell the truth because they have the facts.

"I don't want to hear about your old factions. You are Dauntless now," I tell them irritated, hoping they will shut up.

"Were you a transfer too? Or Dauntless-born?" Tris asks smiling. I know it's a simple question, and she probably doesn't mean anything by it, but I can't let them think that we will be friends. I stare at her, my gaze piercing, but she doesn't flinch. This is a first. People usually get intimidated by me.

"What makes you think you can talk to me?" I ask her, before taking a sip from my water. There is complete silence at our table, as the other initiates have stopped even breathing.

"Must be because you are so approachable," she suddenly says, my head snapping in her direction. She stands her ground, but her eyes betray her irritation. "Like a bed of nails," she adds, and then turns her gaze to her food. Unbelievable! A transfer, an initiate talking to me like we stand on equal ground. She needs to learn to be a little more humble, otherwise she will get in trouble, and not with me particularly. She has fire in her, and that could be an asset, but her feisty spirit might rub the wrong people the wrong way.

"Careful," I warn. She turns her head just for a moment, and then I hear Christina whisper "you have a death wish". I resume eating my meal, when I hear Al whisper that I was first in my class. Just as I'm about to tell them to knock it off talking about me as if I'm not even sitting here with them, I feel a presence standing next to me. I look up and find Eric, my arch-nemesis.

"How's it going, Four?" he asks. The question while polite, is more than just random. He wants something.

"What do you want?" I ask, hoping he'll get the hell out of here soon.

"Max is looking for you," he says, and I groan. Not this again.

"Tell him I'm still not interested. I like where I am," I tell him, putting his mind at ease. He hates it that even two years after my initiation Max still insists I take a government job. But I'm more than happy in the control room. At least there I don't have to face Marcus. Eric nods, and then asks me to introduce him to the initiates. My stomach flip flops thinking that he might take an interest in the initiates. Eric is a sadist, and with new rules in play this yearit will be rough for this initiate class, both transfers and Dauntless-born. However, I don't want to antagonize him quite in public, especially not in front of the initiates. They need to learn to keep their mouths shut in front of him. He is a leader, whether I like it or not.

"A Stiff," he says sneering. I turn my gaze to Tris, who looks up at him, a serene expression on her face.

"Where?" she asks, provoking him.

"Right there," he says pointing his finger at her. Tris chuckles.

"That's funny." Has she lost her mind?

"What's so funny, initiate?" Eric asks irritated. He isn't used to anyone treating him like he is an idiot. Yet this girl does. This won't end well.

"That you think you can insult me with that," she says. Her expression then changes to a murderous look. "I am bad to the bone," she says seriously. Is she kidding me right now? This is not the place or time to make jokes like that. To my utter surprise, Eric bursts out laughing.

"I'm gonna keep my eye on you," he says, as he leaves the table, and then the room.

"Are you out of your mind?" Christina asks. Tris doesn't respond, and I see her shaking. What is going on here? What is wrong with this girl?

"I've lost my appetite. I'm going for a walk," Tris says, gets up and leaves.

I watch her as she exits the cafeteria, a part of me wanting to rush after her to check if she is alright, but I don't even know this girl. I finish my meal, and leave to go back to my apartment. Tomorrow is a long day, and I need to be rested.

I open my door, step inside, and sigh. This was a long day, and tomorrow will be even longer. Going into my bathroom to brush my teeth, and get ready for bed, I look at my reflection in the mirror. It is only two years ago that I was an initiate, and yet the mirror shows someone much older. I feel tired. I go to bed, after checking the door, and turning off the lights, I lie down and think of all the new faces I met today. They all seemed hopeful, and yet scared. I guess, they are right to be scared. They left their homes, their families, and joined a faction of crazy adrenaline junkies. To be fair, despite their flaws, they are good people. I am glad that I chose Dauntless two years ago, but as I learned it the hard way, Dauntless isn't as fair as it could be. And that's all because of the current leadership. Maybe my mother is right. Maybe it is time to leave Dauntless, and live factionless just like she suggested.

I guess, I still have some time to think about it.

Allowing sleep to take me, I drift into nothingness, and before long my alarm clock blares loudly for me to wake up. I groan in frustration, wanting to get another five minutes of sleep, but as soon as I pry open one eye, I realize I need to go to the training room. Today is the first day of initiation, and I need to be there first.

I hurry in my shower, I brush my teeth, I put clothes on, take a few energy bars from my kitchen, and walk downstairs to the training room. It is still early, and I decide to teach them how to use a gun. I've already established with Lauren, who is in charge of the Dauntless-born, to alternate our trainings. This morning, after all of the initiates will be told about the new rules, the transfers will train with guns, and after lunch we will do hand-to-hand and use the punching bags.

Fully expecting to be alone in the training room, I am surprised to see one other person in here. It was odd to find the training room unlocked in the first place, but I figured I will find Lauren. However, it is Tris who is doing some odd moves on one of the mats. I just stand there watching her, as she bends, and stretches, and for a moment I allow myself to watch her. Now that she is wearing form fitting clothes, and her arms, and back are slightly exposed, I can tell that this Abnegation girl isn't what she seemed to be. Her body is trained, a lot more than she should be, and I wonder if she prepared for initiation while still a dependent. No, I shake my head, that's absurd. She's from Abnegation, for God's sake.

"Thanks for letting me do this," she suddenly says. Did she notice me? I don't think so.

"No problem. I'm impressed. You improved a lot since I last saw you," I hear Lauren's voice. What is going on here? Lauren knows Tris? How? "Oh, hey Four," she says as she notices me. I nod my head, and approach the girls, as Tris stands up straight.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her roughly. Tris frowns, but doesn't say anything.

"Chill, dude. She was hanging in the Pit all alone, and since I wanted to get ready early, I asked her to join me," Lauren says scowling at me.

"I'm sorry, Four. I didn't think it was wrong, since Lauren is an instructor too," Tris says bashful. Now I feel guilty, but I hate that I am out of the loop. Something is fishy here.

"I just wanted to know what you were doing?" I try to play it down. If I push too hard, she might shut me out.

"Just some stretching, and warming up," she says with a shy smile. She then turns her gaze toward Lauren, seemingly uncomfortable with me here.

"Relax, Four. I already told you I called her in," Lauren insists, and gives me a look that says to knock it off. I roll my eyes, and go to check on the weapons for the first lesson my initiates will receive here. As I walk away, I hear Tris whispering her thanks to Lauren, and I wonder what these two are up to.

At eight a.m. sharp, all the initiates are gathered in the training room, and once they've settled down, Lauren and I explain what will happen in the next ten weeks.

"At the end of initiation, your ranking will determine what job you get," I say, and pace in front of them. "Leadership, guarding the fence or keeping the factionless from killing each other." There are more jobs, but one thing at a time.

"Ranking will also determine who gets cut," I hear Eric's voice, as he enters the training room.

"Cut?" Edward asks.

"There will only be ten positions this year, and since you are twenty-four, most of you will get cut," Eric says matter-of-factly, as if he doesn't speak of their entire lives. I have no idea why Max and the other leaders even came up with that. It's not like this place is overpopulated.

The initiates protest a little, but Eric cuts them off by telling them that it's now our turn to choose them, and only those who really want in will get in. Way to go, Eric! That will keep them from killing each other. Bravo!

Eric leaves us, and Lauren gathers her initiates to teach them hand-to-hand, while I direct them toward the weapons, hand them out, and lead them up to the roof for target practice. I show them first the correct stance, and then demonstrate how it's done. They each assume positions, and on my command they start firing. As expected, most of them miss their target the first time around, being completely unprepared for the recoil. But by their fifth or sixth attempt all of them hit their targets. All but one. Tris. I watch her as she struggles. Her behavior is entirely peculiar. It is as if she isn't even here. Her body is, but her mind is definitely somewhere else. She keeps hitting the side of her head over and over again with the heel of her hand, and mumbles something incoherent. I want to go chastise her, and ask her to concentrate, when Peter captures my attention. That damn fool started playing with the gun as if it isn'tloaded, and capable of killing someone if this moron doesn't pay attention. I rip it out of his hands, and put the end of the barrel against his forehead.

"You are handling a loaded weapon. Act accordingly!" I bellow. He looks like he will shit himself any minute, and inwardly I cheer for myself. I hate guys like him. So smug, and self-confident, but if it comes to it, all talk but no action. Just like Eric.

I return my attention to Tris, who seems, to still struggle, but at least she manages to hit the target, albeit far from the center. We repeat this exercise a few more times, while I walk around correcting their stances, and giving them advice. All in all, they listen to me, and pay attention to my instructions, but there is still a lot of work to do until they are even remotely ready.

The moment I dismiss them for lunch, I watch Tris bolt inside, and run down the stairs so fast, I think she might have set a new record. I decide not to let that bother me, but when I don't see her anywhere during lunch, and even her friends don't know where she is, I get a little worried. I can't believe she would bail after less than a day. But where could she be?


	5. Struggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello initiates! I'm happy to see that you enjoy this story. Ideas keep popping into my head at the wrong time (usually at work), and then I need to write them down quickly to sort through later. So far, I have a pretty good idea where this is going, and trust me, in my head it's much more violent than it will be on paper. If you write stories, then you know what it feels like to "feel" the story in your blood. I try to figure out how far I will push the characters, how much I will alter their behavior, how evil will they turn. So, please, be patient with me.

Tris's POV

After Four finally dismissed us for lunch, I ran as fast as I could to find Hana. The entire morning I heard voices in my head. I couldn't even hear myself with everyone complaining. Hana warned this might happen sooner or later, but I was kind of hoping it would happen after initiation. As if I ever was that lucky.

Thankfully, Hana had lunch off, and we met in an abandoned part of the Dauntless compound, where she assured me no one was coming anymore. She closed the door, and created a time loop inside the room. Normally, this loop would make us relieve the same instance again, and again until the loop is broken, but since she created it, she made sure the loop wouldn't affect us.

What for others outside of the loop seemed like minutes or maybe an hour, to me it was much more. Hana decided to call Johanna Reyes, one of the Amity leaders, and also Gifted. Her ability is to teleport, and between the two women I learned concentration techniques, and exercised blocking out thoughts of other people. The term reading minds is highly overestimated. In fact, it's not me who seeks a connection at all, but other people's minds invade my own. I desperately try to keep them out, but I can't. Last night, I couldn't even sleep. I thought falling asleep was hard. Al had the bunk above me, and was sobbing the whole time. I thought once he fell asleep, and the few people who whispered stopped I would finally get some rest. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I could hear all of them in my head. Their fears, hopes, and even their dreams. It was terrible. I left the dorm room some time past midnight and was just sitting in the Pit, near the Chasm. Somehow the rush of the water below was soothing to me, and while not actually sleeping, I was able to rest my mind at least.

"Here's what we will do," Hana tells me. "I will come looking for you every day when I finish work in the infirmary. We will go to my apartment, and I will create a loop for you so you can sleep," she tells me. I want to protest, but Johanna steps in.

"Tris, you need to let us help you. Until you are able to control your ability, it will be a nightmare getting some sleep," she tells me, and gives me a hug. I nod my head, and we continue practicing.

The first thing they say I need to learn is block out unwanted thoughts. That's easier said than done. Johanna keeps invading my mind, more aggressively each time I fail to block her. After three hours of being basically tortured by the women who are like mothers to me, Hana finally says, I should rest. Johanna brought with her a cot, and set it up in a corner of the room.

As Hana and Johanna step out of the time loop, I go to take a nap. I almost don't manage to fall asleep, excited that finally I was all alone with my own thoughts. But the exhaustion of the past 48 hours gets the better of me, and I pass out.

I wake up refreshed, and rested, and go to the edge of the loop to step outside. The moment I emerge, Hana and Johanna look at me with smiles on their faces.

"How'd you sleep?" Hana asks.

"Like a baby," I reply happily. I hug her tightly, and thank her for helping me.

"My pleasure, baby girl. We will meet again tonight. What will seem like an hour to everyone else, to you will be much longer," she says, and I nod.

"How long was I out?" I ask curiously.

"Out here, only 45 minutes passed. But you slept for eight hours, plus the three we trained," she explains. I am so happy, that I don't even care how all this works. It does, and it helps me.

We decide that I will train for several hours every day, and then sleep while in the time loop. That way I will be able to rest properly, and not become a zombie. I thank my surrogate mothers profusely, and realize that despite having seen my mother just yesterday, I miss her terribly.

I leave the secret training room, and go upstairs to the cafeteria. Most people have already eaten, and left the large common room. I go and grab myself a large sandwich, and some water, and head to sit at a table.

I never thought I would miss sleeping, but here I am, happy beyond imagination with the fact that I was able to sleep. I smile to myself, as I dig in. I feel so refreshed, and despite knowing that once I am back around the initiates or anyone for that matter, I will be bombarded with more unwanted thoughts, I am confident that I will be able to block some of them out. Johanna and Hana helped me a lot, and I will try my hardest to improve. After all, I don't have much choice if I don't want to go insane.

I finish my meal, throw away the wrapping, down my water, and head back to the training room. I already knew that Four will teach us hand-to-hand, and I'm confident that at this part I won't struggle so much. I wouldn't have struggled so much with target practice either but between never having shot a gun before and the constant invasion of my mind, I couldn't concentrate.

Thankfully, over the years I've learned how to fight, and defend myself. Looking back, and knowing that mom can see the future, I wonder if that was the real reason for her to train me, and involve so many people she left behind here in Dauntless. I smile to myself. Despite having left my parents and Abnegation, part of my family already lived here in my new faction. Realizing that, I feel more confident and reassured that no matter what, they will have my back and support me through all this.

"Hey, Tris," I hear Al's voice before I can see him. I look up, and see him jogging toward me.

"Hey, Al. What's up?" I ask casually.

"Where were you? You didn't come to lunch," he says.

"I needed a bit of time alone, and went for a walk through the compound. Did something happen?" I ask, curious as to why he was even looking for me. I wasn't gone for that long, at least not from his point of view.

"No, I just wanted to check if you are alright," he says shyly. I nod.

"I'm good. Come on. Let's go before Four gets mad at us for being late," I say, and sprint toward the training room. I feel refreshed, and excited, just like I felt when my blood hit the hot coals.

For the next hours, Four shows us hand-to-hand fighting techniques, and we pair up to practice them. I already know them, but there's no point in showing off. If I show people how good I already am they will be suspicious and ask me too many questions. It's not really forbidden, but people frown upon when you do something you are not supposed to.

Every now and then, I hear someone's thoughts, and I brace myself for more. But the breathing techniques Johanna taught me help keeping unwanted intruders out of my mind. Hana also mentioned that while I am preoccupied, like fighting or learning a new skill, it is less likely for me to let my guard down. The reason I had so many voices in my head this morning, they think, is because I didn't rest during the night, and I was so exhausted that my mind just couldn't handle more pressure.

"Wow, you are good," Christina comments, as we switch partners, and I have to practice the moves we learned with Will now, while she practices with Al beside us.

"Nah, just paying attention," I say dismissively. I can tell she isn't quite convinced, but doesn't say anything. Maybe I'm off the hook.

The entire afternoon, we practice the moves Four shows us, and then he goes to demonstrate how to use them during a fight. He calls in a tall guy, about his height, and the two Dauntless men start sparing, making sure we all see what they are doing. Four explains how each move should be executed before doing it, while James, the other man's name, goes to either defend or attack depending on what they want to show us.

After that, we are all dismissed, and the initiates head back to the dorm room. I am so sweaty, and filthy, I wish I had a bathtub to soak in it. I ask Christina to help me shower, by holding up a large towel in front of me, since with the lack of curtains everyone could see me. She agrees, and once I'm done, which must border on light speed, I quickly get dressed, and do the same for her.

Once we're both cleaned up, we head into the cafeteria for supper, and this time we sit next to a few Dauntless-born initiates. At the table, I realize, sits Hana's youngest son, Uriah, next to a sweet looking girl, with brown-reddish hair, and a flirtatious smile, on one side, while on the other sits a person who I first think to be a boy, but then realize is a girl. Her head is shaved completely, she wears boyish attire. I don't say anything about that, and just greet them friendly.

"Hey, aren't you the one who jumped first?" the girl with the flirtatious smile asks me friendly. I nod my head. The other one scoffs. I glare at her, not understanding what her problem is. "Forgive Lynn, she still can't wrap her head around the fact that a Stiff jumped first. She doesn't mean to be rude," the first girl says. "I'm Marlene, by the way," she adds, extending her hand. I shake it, and smile at her.

"I'm Tris, and these are Christina," I introduce her as she sits to my right, "Will," who sits next to her, "and Al," I point toward the latter who sits on my left.

"I'm Uriah," Hana's son finally says. We all get acquainted, and chat leisurely about initiation. They ask us how Four is like as an instructor, and Al and Christina complain a little that he is a crazy person who doesn't seem to know what fun is.

"Then you guys need to come to a party with us," Uriah says grinning.

"Party?" Christina asks excited.

"Yeah, we're gonna have a little party, Dauntless style, on Saturday. We have Sunday off, and can recover until Monday," Marlene says smiling. Lynn just nods, but doesn't seem like she wants to mingle with us.

"We should concentrate on initiation," Al says awkwardly, when he notices everyone stopped talking for a second.

"Dude, we gotta relax a little too," Uriah tells him with a wide grin.

As the others discuss the party some more, I eat my meal in silence, and think of the things I've learned today, both the ones taught by Four, and the ones by Johanna and Hana. While I'm confident I can handle initiation, I am more concerned with my gift. I know it will take me many hours to figure out how to properly handle it. But with Hana's help I'm sure I will succeed.

I leave the cafeteria, and go to the dorm room, wanting to just lie down for a little bit. I decided with Hana that around midnight I will meet her in the secret training room for a new session. I need to work twice as hard. I can't risk slacking off. Johanna mentioned that because my ability is mental, I might develop telekinesis as well. I don't know what to say. On one hand, I think it would be cool to move objects with my mind, on the other if it will present as many challenges as the telepathy I'd rather say no to it. Although, I doubt I have any say in it, really. The only thing I can do, is work hard, and hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ooh, a party! Should Tris attend, given her struggle to control her ability?


	6. More than meets the eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm at 20K. 30K more to go until I reach the #NaNoGoal! Wish me luck, initiates!

Four's POV

It has been a week since initiation started. Overall, all of the transfers work hard, especially since they know not all of them will make it. I still think it's a bad idea to cut them. It takes some people a bit longer to adjust to their new life, and meet up with all the Dauntless requirements. That doesn't mean, however, that they don't deserve being here. The strongest of my initiates are Edward, Will and Peter, while the weakest are Myra and Al. At the beginning of initiation I was certain Tris would be the weakest or among them, but she proved me wrong. She is somewhere in between, and it is clear she is working hard.

What I don't understand is how she got so good in such a short period of time. I thought maybe Lauren gave her some extra training, but usually when Tris mysteriously disappears, Lauren is always somewhere in my sight. What's even weirder is the fact that one moment Tris seems to be completely tired out, only for us to have lunch break and she seems as if she had the best of rests, and is cheerier than anyone else. I really can't understand this girl.

Eric is in the training room every other day. From Lauren I know that when he is not with the transfers, he is with the Dauntless-born observing them. He even decided to let the initiates fight long before they were ready. For my group, he made Tris fight Peter in her first fight. I wanted to protest, but I had to remind myself that Eric is a leader, and while I wouldn't mind kicking his sorry ass, he might take it out on the initiates. Like he did with Christina, when she had to fight Molly, and conceded, realizing she wasn't strong enough to defeat the much larger girl. Eric just asked the initiates to follow him, while I wasn't there, and let Christina hang over the Chasm. I was furious when I learned of what he did, and went to complain with Max. Obviously, my effort was futile, and Max argued that it was so that the initiates worked harder. I don't see how hanging over a chasm will make them work harder, but as usual my opinion isn't taken into account.

To my surprise, Tris stood her ground, and fought valiantly. She was still defeated by Peter, who is twice her size, and much more vicious, but she was able to only come out of that fight with a few bruises, and a split lip. I am still fascinated by how much she improved, and every day she shows she can do more. She is a puzzle. One moment I think she'll break, only to be knocked off my feet the next. There are moments when I can see the exhaustion in her eyes, her shoulders slumped forward, her gaze distant, her skin pale, and her lips dried and bloody from all the biting. And then, a couple of hours later she appears to be her usual jovial self again.

I've noticed that she made friends among the Dauntless-born. Uriah, Zeke's brother, told us how she often gets included when they just hang out playing cards or hang in one of the dorm rooms. Even random Dauntless members come into the training room, and watch the initiates fight, but they're there usually more when Tris is scheduled to fight. I've noticed how irritated Eric gets when Dauntless members come and cheer for her. They cheer for others too, but for her they cheer the most, and the loudest. I don't know what to think of that.

Today is Saturday, and we only have a half day. Zeke practically coerced me to come to his party later this evening, saying that he wants me to meet a nice girl, and finally live like a true Dauntless. I rolled my eyes at him, but he seemed serious. When Shauna, however, said that some of the initiates would join, I figured why not. Secretly, I am hoping to see a certain petite initiate and watch her in her element with her friends. She is very polite when it comes to talking to me, the first time we spoke all forgotten. She wasn't snotty or defiant this whole time, and I wonder if she just wanted to impress her friends that first night. Or maybe she figured she wouldn't get anywhere with that attitude. Whatever the reason, I want to know the real Tris.

"Earth to Four," Shauna says, waving her hand in front of my eyes in the cafeteria.

"Huh?" I ask confused. Did she talk to me?

"There you are," she says smiling. Before Zeke and I ever became friends, I was good friends with her. We supported each other during our own initiation, and afterwards we just got closer. I could see she liked Zeke a lot, but with his bad habit of chasing after every girl, he hurt her inadvertently, and I just couldn't stand seeing her sad. We connected on an emotional level, and quickly became friends.

"Sorry," I say.

"It's okay," she says with a smile. "Zeke wants you to hook up with one of our friends," she says. I smile at her, but I am not looking forward to this blind date. Zeke has a tendency to set me up with girls I don't even like. Not that I ever liked anyone. Although, lately, there is one on my mind, but she is the proverbial forbidden fruit.

"Like always, I'm not interested," I tell her. She nods, and proceeds asking me about my day, and how my initiates are doing. I give her quick briefing, and then she asks me about Tris. "She works hard, I can tell. She really wants to make it."

"She has quite the number of admirers," Shauna tells me. At that, I feel my heart pounding, and my palms sweating. I didn't know that. Not wanting to be too obvious, I tell her they are probably interested because she is the Stiff who jumped first. Shauna shakes her head confidently that, that's not it. "No. they are genuinely interested in her. Lynn told me a number of Dauntless have already asked her out, but she refused them." Hearing that, I both cringe, and sigh. I know there can't be anything between me and an initiate, not as long as initiation is still going on, anyway. But that doesn't mean I like what I'm hearing.

Shauna keeps talking, but my mind drifts away. I think of Tris, my mysterious puzzle, the first girl who ever captured my attention for longer than a minute. She is smart, and strong, and witty. I've overheard her talk to others, especially her friends on various occasions, and it always intrigued me how she saw the world, and more importantly how she defiantly challenges others to think for themselves too.

I excuse myself, but not before promising that I will be at the party, and go to my apartment. I lie down for a while, just wanting to rest my eyes, but as soon as they shut, I fall into a deep sleep. And about who to dream, if not Tris Prior, the girl who has been haunting my dreams ever since she jumped into that net.

It is past seven p.m. when I wake up, and check my phone. Two missed calls from Zeke. I decide to call him back, before he comes breaking down my door. I dial his number, and wait for him to pick up. When he finally does, I barely hear over the blaring noise. He must have noticed that too, and probably went outside in the hallway to talk to me.

"Four, man, where are you?" he asks.

"At my place. I fell asleep, and just woke up. I'll be there in about half hour," I tell him, already knowing he will want to know when I will finally make an appearance.

"Well, hurry. There is someone I want you to meet," he says, and I can already picture the grin on his face.

"Zeke, I'm really not interested," I tell him, but he already hung up. I groan, and pull myself out of bed.

I take a shower, put fresh clothes on, and leave my apartment. It doesn't take me long to get to Zeke's apartment, and even if I wouldn't have been here before, I know exactly where it is. The loud music, the many people entering and exiting the small space, plus the few dozen beer bottles already everywhere in the hallway tell me I am right.

I push my way inside, and look around to find my friends. I can see some of the initiates, some Dauntless-born, others transfers, but I don't see Tris. Just as I want to casually say hi to them, someone grabs me from behind, and I turn around abruptly. I had already raised my fist to punch whoever it was, when I see it's my best friend.

"Dude, relax, it's a party," he says, and pushes me into the kitchen. Inside, I find Shauna talking to a girl. She is about my height, with long dark hair, and a single magenta streak on the left side of her head, chocolate brown eyes, and an eyebrow piercing. She looks pretty, and I can't deny she has an attractive body, lean but curvy. Her breasts are large, too large for the small tank top she is wearing. Her legs seem extra long because of the boots she is wearing and the very short skirt. They both turn their attention to me, and the mystery girl smiles.

"Oh, Four, this is Becca. She and I work together," Shauna says smiling. Becca reaches out her hand, and I shake it.

"Nice to meet you, Four," she says with what I assume is a seductive smile. I know girls tried to seduce me before, but I was never interested. Nor am I now.

"Likewise," I say dryly.

I watch as Shauna moves past me, and pushes Zeke out of the room, probably wanting to give me and Becca some privacy. But that's the last thing I want. Becca starts talking, and out of politeness, I don't leave right away. When a commotion starts in the room next door, however, I leave the kitchen to see what is going on. Hoping for something more interesting, like someone fighting, and giving me an excuse to intervene and take them either to the infirmary or the holding cells, I watch as Zeke kicks the majority of people out, only a handful staying put. Damn! He wants to play some game.

I watch as the apartment empties, and wait for Zeke to close the front door. Looking around, there is an array of people who stayed behind: Harrison, Dwayne, James, Bud, Tori being some of them. On the other side of the room I notice Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and from the transfers Christina, Al, Will, Edward, and Myra. Tris is still not here. Maybe she won't even come to this party. Zeke indicates me to sit down, and to my misfortune, Becca sits down next to me.

"Alright, the game is Candor or Dauntless," he starts saying, but just then someone knocks on the door.

"I'll get it," Bud offers, and hurries to the door. Zeke explains the game to the transfers, since they obviously have no clue, when Bud suddenly shouts out loud. "Bee-Bee!" Everyone's attention is now on the front door, which is still blocked by his large frame. We hear someone shush loudly, obviously not wanting for the people inside the apartment to know. "Oops," Bud says remorseful.

"Forget it! I'm not going now!" we hear a female voice whisper. Everyone in the apartment is so quiet you could hear a needle drop.

"No, you have to. What's done is done. Come on," another female says.

"But," comes the protest from the first female.

"I'm so sorry, Bee-Bee."

"It's okay. It would have come out eventually."

Bud comes back inside, and we hear the door close. To my surprise, and Zeke's, Hana is one of the women at the door. Bud goes to resume his place next to Harrison, and Hana sits next to him on the chair that was previously occupied by Lauren. My mouth hangs slightly open, when I see that behind Hana, Tris emerges. She looks around shyly, and then goes to lean against the wall on the opposite side of where I am sitting on the couch.

"Tris," Christina says excited, and goes to stand next to her friend. "I didn't think you would make it." Tris only nods.

"Where's your niece?" Uriah asks, and I roll my eyes. Seriously?

"Are you kidding me?" Lynn asks exasperated. "There she is," Lynn points at Tris, who blushes slightly.

"WHAT?" Uriah exclaims, and I can tell other people are shocked too. I am one of them. "How?" Uriah asks. Tris looks away at first, but then catches Bud nodding.

"Bud is my uncle. He is my mom's twin brother," Tris starts saying.

"That explains you a lot," Marlene says with a smile.

"And here I was thinking you are a Stiff nutjob," Lynn jokes. Tris chuckles, but looks around for help to avert attention from her. Zeke must have sensed her uneasiness, and starts the game.

"Candor or Dauntless," he starts saying, and looks around. His gaze falls on Bud. The older Dauntless picks Candor, and Zeke things of what to ask. "Why do you call Tris Bee-Bee?" I watch Tris frown at him, and then look at her uncle. He gives her a sympathetic look, and he stands up to remove a clothing item. "What? You are not going to answer?" Zeke asks surprised. The few times we played with Bud he was always game for whatever people asked him.

"Zeke, this is too personal," he says, but then Tris steps in.

"Uncle Bud, it's okay. It's just a silly pet name," she says, and I watch her carefully. She smiles lovingly at her uncle, who reciprocates. He finally nods.

"Her name is Beatrice, and when Caleb, her brother, was a toddler, he couldn't pronounce her name. He ended up calling her Bee-Bee, and it stuck." All the girls aw, and even some of the guys have genuinely fond smiles on their faces. "Candor or Dauntless, Hana?" Bud asks, moving the game along.

"Candor," she answers.

"Will you go out with me on a date?" he asks, and Hana's jaw drops, as does everyone else's. The only one who grins with satisfaction is Tris. She must have suspected something.

"You wanna go out with my mama?" Uriah asks, standing up. Zeke pulls him back down.

"I don't know what to say," Hana says flustered. Tori and Lauren both encourage her to say yes, and when she finally does, Bud grins widely, and kisses her cheek. Tris steps closer, and she and her uncle fist-bump.

Once Hana regains her voice, still emotional after Bud asked her out, she resumes the game quickly, wanting for the rest of us to not stare at them as they obviously start a private conversation. Hana asks Lauren what she picks, and when Lauren picks dare, Hana grins wickedly, and asks to let Tris give Lauren a creepy make over. Everyone is a little befuddled at the odd request, but no one says anything. Lauren rushes out of Zeke's apartment, apparently to go get the make-up, while we all start to talk to each other. I watch as Tris goes over to her friends, and the Dauntless-born initiates soon join. They animatedly converse about Tris's uncle, and they all seem curious as to why she didn't say something sooner. I take a step closer, wanting to know too.

"I love my uncle like crazy. Don't get me wrong," she says with a shy smile. "I just wanted for people to know me for me, and not because I'm his niece. The few who actually knew me before promised to keep my secret for as long as possible," she explains. That makes sense.

"Not to mention that Bud is nuts over this little Dauntless princess and would be killing anyone who would even dare lift a finger at her," Dwayne says, as he too approaches the group. Tris rolls her eyes playfully.

"Yeah. He knows I can fight, he often sparred with me, but he is also afraid someone might hurt me. He never had kids of his own, and always treated me more like a daughter, although sometimes he forgot that a parent also says no," she adds chuckling.

"What do you mean?" Myra asks curiously.

"Sometimes I would make absurd requests just to see how far he would go. I didn't really want what I asked for, and once he agreed, I would tell him I'm good. I only did that a few times, but it showed me that he would do about anything for me. From bringing me my favorite stuffy in the middle of the night after a nightmare to actually taking a bullet for me. He is my hero, and I love him very much," she says, and a single tear runs down her cheek.

"I love you, too, Bee-Bee, very much," Bud tells her, and they hug.

Not allowing the mood to drop too much, Zeke starts telling jokes, and soon everyone is rolling on the floor with laughter.

When Lauren finally returns, she takes a seat, while Tris prepares everything, turning Lauren so that no one can see her face. We all promise not to peek, and she starts. Since it's Lauren's turn, she asks Tris the question, and the latter chooses Candor.

"When will you let me find you a boyfriend?" she asks bluntly. Tris stops what she is doing, and gives Lauren a look that says "Seriously? That's your question?"

"When hell freezes over, and Satan offers free sleigh rides," comes Tris's quick response. Most of the people here start laughing, but I find myself sighing.

"Why the hell not?" Lauren insists.

"'Cause my love life is none of your business. Now, sit still," Tris tells her sternly, continuing what she was doing.

"But there are so many cute guys already interested," Lauren tells her, not giving up.

"Why do you always want to hook me up with someone?" Tris asks annoyed.

"You are a cutie, and there are so many guys out there who would die for you to pay attention to them."

"Lauren is right," Christina chimes in. Before long, all girls offer Tris their opinion, and I can tell that she is getting more and more irritated by the minute.

I watch as Becca stands up, and pulls Shauna with her into the kitchen. I didn't even know she was still here.

"Stop it! All of you. Are you fucking crazy?" Tris asks angry. They all look at her a little bit shocked. "There are ten positions and twenty-four initiates. More than half of us will end up factionless. I for one don't want that for myself. I don't have the time or energy to waste it on a boy," she says glaring at Lauren mostly.

"Fine!" Lauren concedes. "But once you are a member we go hunting for some studs. And I don't accept no for an answer," Lauren says.

"As long as you shut up," Tris says, and slaps something over Lauren's mouth.

The game continues with Tris asking Marlene what she picks. When Marlene picks dare, Tris dares her to kiss Uriah. I watch as Marlene blushes slightly, and Uriah having the hugest of grins, but eventually they kiss.

As the night continues, all of us get a turn, and by the time Shauna picks Tris again, the game stops for us to admire Lauren's make-up. My fellow instructor stands up, and as she turns around a round of gasps and yelps are heard throughout the apartment. Tris turned Lauren into a monster, with a sewn shut mouth. When Hana requested creepy, I don't think anyone expected this, but as I actually get up to inspect Tris's handiwork, I have to admit she did a damn good job. This looks so real, I actually want to touch it. So I do.

"Where did you learn to do this?" I ask her, unable to contain my curiosity. I've heard of girls having all kinds of hobbies, some adoring to put make-up on themselves and on others, but this is out of this world.

"Taught myself. I experimented with colors, and just let my imagination do the rest. You like?" she asks excited. I look at her, and when our eyes lock, I smile at her.

"This is amazing," I tell her.

"Damn, that looks so creepy!" Shauna says chuckling, coming to stand next to me.

"This almost looks like that monster in the Haunted House," Zeke says. At the mention of the Haunted House, Lauren and Tris share a look before laughing. "What's so funny?" he asks confused.

"I was the monster," Lauren confesses. What?

The Haunted House is an annual Dauntless tradition. No one knows who is behind it, but Dauntless members and kids visit it on Halloween. Every year it changes location, and every year there is a new theme. Some of the costumes and make-up are so authentic it almost looks real. I don't scare easily, but the Haunted House is not for the faint-hearted.

"What do you mean, you were the monster?" James asks her curiously, as he steps closer to inspect the transformation for himself. Lauren looks hopeful at Tris, but Tris shakes her head, grinning wickedly.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you more," she says, teasing us all. Now that we know Lauren was part of the Haunted House, everyone wants to know more, but both Tris and Lauren shut down, and don't say another word about it.

Finally accepting that the two girls won't say anything more, the game continues, but it is clear by now that everyone lost interest in it. It is almost midnight when everyone starts to leave, and I find myself harassed by Becca.

"Four, would you please walk me home?" she asks sweetly. She gives me an innocent look, and I try to think of a way to tell her I am not interested in her, but Shauna insists I go. I know she and Zeke must have planned this, pushing me toward this girl. But now more than ever I find her dull and boring.

Unable to talk my way out of this tedious task, I walk Becca to her apartment, and while she undulates around me, I get a phone call. I answer it without even checking who it is. Realizing it's Zeke who just wants to wish me luck, I quickly take advantage of this, and tell Becca I am needed elsewhere. She starts to protest, but I am already sprinting away, all the while hanging up the phone. I hurry back to my apartment, and once I'm inside, I lock the door. What a day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What did you think of that?


	7. What a gifted crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wanted to thank everyone for their support. FourTris is on their way. I didn't want to rush things. :)

Tris's POV

It has been almost two weeks since that party. By now, the whole Dauntless compound knows that Bud is my uncle, and people seem to be far more accepting of that than I thought. I was so scared that they would freak out, or expect impossible things of me, but they were nothing but nice. My uncle can still be overprotective, but he saw me often enough fight to know I can stand my ground, and deliver some wicked kicks and punches of my own.

Training, however, is draining me of energy. Besides the training we receive from Four, I sparred a few more times with Lauren, since she knows a few moves that are better suited for girls, all the while bonding. After the party, the girls wanted to know if I knew Lauren from before and I admitted I did. We used to hang out a lot as kids, despite living in different factions. Whenever I would visit my uncle, Harrison, her father, would drop her off for playdates. It was always fun, and she felt like a big sister to me. Lauren agreed to hang with my new girlfriends as well, and to their delight Lauren taught them the same moves she taught me.

My other training goes much better. I spend hours in a time loop practicing my telekinetic ability, while the mind reading part was put on hold, since I couldn't really practice on anyone. That's why in my so-called spare time, Hana helped me practice on others in the Pit. Like for instance, when two guys would start fighting. I would read their minds, find out why, and suggest to each that fighting isn't the right answer. I would also make suggestions to people in stores to buy another item than the one they actually wanted or in the cafeteria order something else. It is fun sometimes, especially when it comes to influencing the minds of those who are weak and can't block their own thoughts. Not that anyone would know I was even in there. I am very much aware how creepy I am for even doing it, but I need to test my limits.

The first few sessions were unbearable, until a tune caught my attention, and I ended up with an earworm. I realized that as long as I was humming the song, my mind wasn't overwhelmed with the thoughts of other people. That's why I usually entered the cafeteria singing softly some old tune, attracting a few glances as I went to get my food, and actually eat it. With the cafeteria always packed with hungry Dauntless, I figured this was the safest way to eat in relatively peaceful circumstances.

The more I practiced, the more confident I got. For the next part of my training, Johanna teleported me to Amity, where I was to make people passing me by think I wasn't even there. It worked, but I had to keep my concentration far longer than with just listening in on their thoughts. Redirecting someone's mind is far more difficult than just snooping around. The greatest breakthrough, however, was when we teleported into an Erudite lab, and one of the scientists there wanted to call the guards. It was actually a mistake that we even were there. Panicked, I linked my mind to his, telling him, he doesn't want that. He listened. I pushed my luck then. I asked the man to clock like a chicken. He did. I asked the man to take off his clothes, until he was standing in front of us just in his underwear. We soon had to leave, and Johanna asked me to look through his memory if he even remembered 's when I first altered someone's memory. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is, and after we got back to Dauntless, and Johanna left me in my uncle's apartment, I slept for almost sixteen hours. Thankfully, the next day was another free day for the initiates, so I was able to sleep in.

"I have a surprise for you," Hana says, excitement written all over her face.

"What is it?" I ask, as I levitate toward her. We are in another time bubble, and I can finally control my abilities enough to be comfortable.

"You'll have to wait and see," she says all mysteriously. I tilt my head to the side, wondering what she's up to. The temptation to read her mind is big, but I promised her I wouldn't. She breaks the time loop, and leaves our training room.

I decide to just levitate a little around. It's like flying, and sometimes I manage to actually gain some speed, but it's not like I can actually fly, and certainly not for long. I am pretty much absorbed in my own thoughts, when voices outside the door catch my attention. Who could it be? No one ever comes down here. Trapped inside, I do the only thing I can do. I land in the far corner, knowing I wouldn't be able to levitate much longer, and focus on making myself "invisible".

The door opens, and Uriah is the first to enter. What is he doing here? Is this Hana's doing? I watch silently as more people enter the room, and I recognize them. My friends, as well as Four, and that other guy who was at the party, James I think. They all enter, look around the room, and stand in what seems to be a circle.

I levitate into the center of the circle to take a closer look: Harrison, Lynn, Christina, Will, Lauren, James, Hana, Bud, Tori, Dwayne, Marlene, Uriah, Shauna, Zeke, and Four. They stand still, waiting for something.

"What's going on? Why did you call us here?" Uriah asks. I look from him to Hana, and wait for an answer.

"She's not here. I'd prefer her to be here," Hana says, an uneasy look on her face.

"Who?" Shauna asks. Hana dismisses her.

"I asked you all here, because we all have something in common," Hana starts. I listen intently to my surrogate mother, as she tells the people gathered here that they all are gifted. I put my hand to my mouth, avoiding being heard, and levitate above them, in case one of them decides to move abruptly. None of them seem surprised, or at least not as much as they should be. "We should really wait for her, too," Hana says looking at Bud. He only nods. He already knows my secret.

"Hana, what is going on? Who needs to come here?" James asks looking around.

"Someone's here," Marlene suddenly says. At that, Hana looks around, and rolls her eyes.

"Of course, she is. Come out. Right now!" she commands. I invade her mind, and tell her no. I don't want anyone to know about my secret. "They are all like us. They all received the Gift," Hana says, but that doesn't convince me. What if they fake it? What if one of them is a spy? "They're not faking it," she says annoyed. "Come out, right now!" she says sternly.

I let myself become visible again, and Uriah is the first to spot me. The others then look in my direction, and some of them just stare.

"Were you here the whole time?" Lynn asks. I nod.

"And you can fly?" Christina asks flabbergasted. I shake my head, levitating toward her. I land in front of her.

"I can levitate," I tell her.

"What's the difference?" Dwayne asks.

"I can only maintain this for a short while, and can't move very fast," I explain.

"Tris, why don't you go stand next to Four, and we all start," Hana says. I give her a questioning look, and try to ask in my mind why him, and she just says in her mind for me to just do it. I go to stand next to my instructor, but avoid eye contact. From all the people who could have had the gift, why him? Wasn't it enough that I had to endure his sexiness during regular training? Now, here too?

Hana instructs us to go around and tell what our powers are, and when we received the gift, as well as how it happened. Harrison starts telling us that he heard the Calling when he was thirteen, and his power is eco-location. Wondering what that means, he demonstrates it, but assures us it is far more helpful in an open space. He explains that by emitting a sound, his gift can locate a person or object by calculating where the sound ricochet. Next, Lynn tells us she heard the Calling when she was fourteen, just like Marlene and Uriah. Her gift is creating the illusion of darkness, although she is still struggling with that. Hana tells us that she has been training all of us secretly, but it is now time we train together. There is only so much she alone can do. Christina's gift is controlling electricity which she received when she was twelve. She is so far the youngest, and demonstrates via the few light bulbs in the room what she can do. She can also influence the electric flow in any electrical device. Will's gift, which he received at age fourteen, is controlling water. He can't create it, just control it. He told us that Hana would take him deep down into the Chasm to practice there. Lauren's gift is manipulating metal. She heard the Calling about a year ago. James can walk through walls or anything solid actually. He has been perfecting his gift ever since he received it at age fifteen. Hana and Bud both received their gifts about a week apart, when they were sixteen, and it was right after their own initiation. Bud's gift is to control the earth. Tori is a weather wizard since she was twelve, creating sunshine or rain whenever she is either happy or sad respectively. Dwayne's gift is one of those who come especially in handy when chasing a perp. He is a very fast runner, and no one beat him thus far since he received his gift at thirteen years old. Marlene is an empath, which explains why she could sense me. Uriah can turn invisible or just camouflage when necessary. Shauna is the healer of the group, being able to heal her own wounds as well as others very fast, which is less painful than waiting for the tissue to heal on its own. Zeke turns into stone, and thus far he doesn't quite know what to do with that. He and Shauna received their gifts right after their initiation, two years ago, while Four shortly before he even started. His gift is pyrokinesis, the ability to create and control fire. Which leaves me.

"So, what else can you do?" Marlene asks with a flirtatious smile. I look toward Hana who smiles, and gives me an encouraging nod.

"My gift is telepathy and telekinesis, and I received it the day of my aptitude test," I tell them. I let that sink in. They look at each other, and I feel as if I was just stripped naked in front of all these people.

"Telepathy? As in reading minds?" Christina asks. No bull shit with her. I nod my head. Before I can say anything, Hana goes to explain that I am still struggling with keeping them all out. Thankfully, she makes them see that I am not reading their minds intentionally, but am forced to hear their thoughts.

"She still struggles from time to time, especially when she is tired, but she isn't doing it on purpose. I wanted you all to know that," she finishes. I don't dare to look around.

"Is that why you always hum or sing?" Marlene asks, coming closer to me. I nod.

"It distracts me. It keeps my mind focused on something other than people's thoughts. The first few days were terrible. I couldn't stop hearing voices, and I felt like going insane," I confess.

"Poor thing," Shauna says, coming closer to hug me. I let her, inwardly happy that they don't resent me. I always feared that once people knew about my gift they would shy away from me. But thankfully, that wasn't the case.

"What else can you do?" Will asks, trying to shift the focus from the mind reading part. I show them how I move objects, and then I explain why they couldn't see me at first.

One by one, they all ask questions, and I feel encouraged to ask some of my own as well. One of particular interest is why Lynn only creates darkness, and what exactly that means. Does she create the illusion of darkness to everyone or just specific people? And is she making them blind or just turn off the lights? She did say illusion, which means it is all in your head. Perhaps I can help her, if she likes.

They all show off their power, and as I watch them a thought occurs to me. Zeke turns into stone. It is rather hard to destroy it naturally. I wonder if any of them tried to attack him. I step closer to Four, who talks to Zeke and James, and I wait for them to notice me. I don't know why I am so shy, but I feel like a little girl surrounded by grown-ups. All of them have received their gifts a long time ago. I'm the only one who literally just changed three weeks ago.

"Tris," Four says, as he notices me. The other two look at me, wondering probably what I want.

"I was wondering, Zeke, if any of the others ever attacked you?" I say, and he frowns.

"Why would they attack me?" he asks.

"Stone is hard to break, and I was wondering if you tested your limits," I tell him. He looks from me to Four, and then James.

"No, I haven't," he says. "Did you test your limits?" he genuinely asks.

"Yes," I simply state.

"How?" comes James' question.

"I practiced every day, and once I could control my powers a little I pushed myself. For instance, I started lifting a sheet of paper, then a pencil, then a glass, then a full bottle, and so on until I could lift myself."

"Ah, I get it. But we didn't really do those things," Zeke says.

"Something on your mind?" Four asks, and I look at him. I don't answer him, instead link my mind to Hana's.

"How much do they know about the danger we face?" I ask in my head.

"They know just as much as you do. Why?" she asks the same way.

"Why didn't you train with them to test their limits?" I ask confused. Hana comes to where I am, and the three young men look at me curiously.

"We trained a little. But it's not like I have a manual. And you are by far the strongest of them," Hana states. My mouth hangs open. Did she just say I am the strongest? I just got my powers, and they all had theirs for years. How's that possible?

The others gather around us, as Hana starts explaining. Because of the urgency to control my telepathic abilities, Hana and I basically worked overtime. But the reason why I am stronger is because unlike the others I embraced my powers much sooner.

"Well, duh, she had help," Lynn says with an eye roll. Hana glares at her.

"So did all of you, but unlike some of you here, she committed to learn, and actually listened to me," Hana yells.

"Relax, ma," Zeke tries to calm her down.

"Hana, what is wrong?" I ask her in my mind. "Why are you flipping out on Lynn? It's not like I didn't complain or just stubbornly sat down and did nothing," I tell her, not understanding what has gotten into her.

"I know. But you worked much harder than anyone I've ever met. And you are strong. Your spirit is strong, and you never give up. I've always known that about you," she tells me in my head. I smile at her, and she reciprocates it before pulling me into a hug.

"Does anyone know what just happened?" Christina asks, and I chuckle.

"We had a little conversation," I tell them, and they nod.

"Why do you say she is stronger than the others?" Harrison inquires, and I am just as curious to find out.

"It's her. She is strong, determined, committed, the list goes on really. She isn't afraid, and I think that allowed her to tap into deeper levels of her power. For God's sake, Harrison, you've known her just as long as I have. When did she ever back down? From anything?" Hana asks. I can't help but smile at that. Hana is really proud of me. "She must be the single stupidest being in this universe for doing all the crap she did," Hana shouts. My face falls.

"What happened to strong, determined and committed?" I ask sarcastically. Hana just rolls her eyes. "In any case, I think it would be better if we tested how much each of them can take," I say, and she nods.

"What do you mean?" Marlene asks.

"She means, in case you are under attack, how long until you reach your breaking point," Hana explains. "It's just like with Dauntless initiation, but designed specifically to each of your powers."

I explain to them what I have in mind for Zeke. His power can be used as a defense, since it seems he could take quite a lot, and he could protect someone as well. After they all agree, especially after I've told them that some day we might have to rely on our powers to save each other, we divide into groups. I tell Zeke what I have in mind, and he nods in understanding. Basically, everyone with the ability to attack him should do so. Zeke's stone-skin will be exposed to electricity, water, earth, fire, and wind. Each Gifted will steadily increase their attack, until Zeke says stop. That way we know how much he can take.

Hana asked me to work with Lynn, since our abilities are a bit similar. For her, I have already the perfect exercise. Right now, she can only switch off light, but if I'm correct, she might be able to do more. Marlene and Shauna volunteer to be our guinea pigs.

I start by asking Lynn to switch off the lights for Marlene and Shauna. As I suspected, she can target people, which will come in handy. Telling her to keep up the illusion, I walk closer to Marlene and Shauna and ask them questions, like can they see anything at all or can they hear anything other than my voice. When both answer no, I smile. Behind them, Four and Bud attack Zeke simultaneously, while causing the others to cheer loudly. Marlene and Shauna, however, are oblivious to that ruckus. I return next to Lynn, and ask her if she thinks of anything in particular when she "turns off the lights". She shakes her head, trying to stay focused. I ask her to imagine a meadow, with colorful wildflowers, blue skies, puffy clouds, and half a dozen Abnegation children playing. She nods her head, but I can tell she struggles a little. I try to encourage her without accidentally enhancing her ability, and little by little the scene I've imagined in my head comes to life with slight alterations. That's normal, since Lynn can't actually see inside my head. I watch as Marlene and Shauna watch in awe the scene before them, and then go toward the others who are still testing Zeke's superhuman ability to withstand the elements.

"Four?" I ask, since he is standing to the side, allowing others to "torture" poor Zeke. He turns to look at me, and I swallow past the lump in my throat. Why does he have to be so attractive?

"Hm?" he hums.

"Could you please look toward the girls," I ask him, and he does. "What do you see?"

"Lynn, Shauna and Marlene," he simply states.

"Yeah. No. That's not what I meant. Do you see anything else around them?" I insist, and he turns to look at me giving me a curious look. He doesn't say anything, and after a moment of just staring into my eyes, he returns his gaze to the girls, trying to decipher what I meant.

"I'm sorry, I can't see anything. Unless you mean Shauna's and Marlene's odd behavior," he concludes.

"Yes. That's what I meant. But you don't see a meadow or children?" I ask him, and his eyebrows shoot up, looking back to the girls to double check. He shakes his head. "Thank you. That was very helpful," I say, and return to the girls, leaving Four just standing there.

I explain Lynn that our experiment worked, and for the next one she picks someone else and creates a new image that only that person can see.

I don't know how long we've been down here, but when we emerge and go to the cafeteria, I feel a lot more relaxed than before. I now realize what a toll all this takes on me, both mentally and physically. And to make things even crazier, I think I have a crush on my instructor. But with him ignoring me, and all, I guess the feeling is one-sided. Perhaps, that's a good thing. I need to focus, and get into Dauntless. I can daydream once I'm a member.


	8. It starts with an idea

Four's POV

The initiates are doing better with each passing day, but for most of them that won't matter. Our leaders decided to cut those who don't rank in the top ten, and honestly I can't understand why. It's not like Dauntless is overcrowded.

The training with Hana, and the other Gifted, was interesting and helpful. Not to mention exhilarating. Not only did I get a chance to spend more time with my friends and be myself, but I got to see another side of Tris, who frankly has been on my mind often lately. The fact that she is gifted explains a lot about her behavior. Although, she is pushing herself too much, in my opinion. She is working hard to be in the top ten, while at the same time learning to control her gifts.

When I first heard she can read minds, I was angry, assuming she read mine. Hana assured us that while she did hear us in her head, we all basically spoke at the same time, which only created white noise to Tris, and caused her many restless hours. Hana asked us to imagine the Dauntless-packed cafeteria during lunch, the busiest moment of the day, but instead of being it in an open space it happens in our heads. It wasn't hard to imagine that. Sometimes I just grab some food, and escape to my apartment to get away from that noise. Tris, however, had no choice but to stay and listen. Looking at the problem from Tris's point of view, I really feel sorry for her. They both assured us that Tris is working hard to control her gifts, and even managed some major breakthroughs.

I understand, though, why it is so difficult. It took me a long while too to control my gift, and if it weren't for Hana I might have burned down the whole compound. Tris seems to absorb every lesson as if her life depended on it, and maybe someday it does. She is very smart, sometimes even Erudite-smart, only to let her Dauntless shine through.

It is week five of initiation, and by tomorrow we will announce the rankings. After Phase 1, eight initiates will leave us. While transfers and Dauntless-born are trained separately, they will all be ranked together. Anyone can be among those eight. I know for a fact that the people in this room won't get cut after Phase 1, but I am not so sure what will happen when Phase 2 concludes, and the Final Test is administered. I can only do my best and prepare them all, and hope they will make it. Things would be so much easier without this whole cutting thing.

But until then, we still have Capture the Flag. Max insisted we have it the night before the rankings are announced. I couldn't care less about when it happens. We will all meet at the tracks at eleven p.m., waiting for the train to take us to the Navy Pier. I know already that many Dauntless members will join us, like every year. This year, I think, they want to see Tris in action. Ever since it was revealed she is the niece of one of the most beloved Dauntless, everyone wanted to get a glimpse of her. She isn't very happy with the fact she has so many eyes on her, but she tries hard to ignore it.

Speaking of the devil, I see Tris sneak up the stairs to the Pire, where the leader offices are. What is she up to now? If I was worried with Tris's erratic behavior before, now that I know she is gifted I am positively terrified. Not only is she risking the exposure of all of us, but she also risks getting kicked out of Dauntless for simply snooping around. I follow her quietly, but maintain a certain distance. There are cameras everywhere up here, and I wonder how no one already alerted leadership of this initiate roaming around.

"Four?" I hear a voice behind me. I panic for a moment, but then turn around. Max is standing there, an eyebrow quirked, as he looks at me with curiosity. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I," comes my response, but I am interrupted when one of the other leaders, Jackson, steps closer to us. Behind him is Tris, who puts her finger to her lips, while she uses her right index and middle finger to press against her right temple. I've seen her do that before whenever she uses her powers. What is she up to?

"Four," Jackson says, just as surprised as Max. He looks from me to Max, and back. "Did you come here to tell us you finally accept our offer to be a leader?" What? Jackson knew about that? I knew Eric knew, but Eric is a fucking dirtbag who wants to know everything that is going on.

"Tell them you need to know what that would mean for you, if you accept," I hear Tris's voice in my head. "Stall them!" she adds. Right. Stall them. How? Okay, let's ask for details. I watch as Max smirks when I ask for details about a possible leadership job, and he invites me into his office. I watch with horror as Jackson excuses himself, and Tris follows him. I want to follow her, make sure that she'll be alright, but I have no choice now.

I follow Max into his office, and sit down at his desk. He offers me a coffee, and I decline it. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. I need to find that girl. Damn her! Why is she always looking for trouble?

"What is it that you want to know?" Max asks.

I decide to just play along, and ask random questions about what my duties and responsibilities would be. I learn that one of the leaders had recently retired, after the death of his wife. He was one of the oldest leaders we had, and Max tells me he was showing signs of illness as well. Max gives me some more details, telling me that just because I'm a leader doesn't mean I will have to deal with boring Council meetings. I once told him I'm not a politician and I wouldn't fit into a room with other faction leaders. I know for a fact that he knows who I really am, and why I don't want to leave Dauntless, but he never said anything to me about it.

Just as I want to decline again, a knock is heard on the door, and a moment later Jackson enters. Tris is gone, and I wonder what happened to her.

"What is it?" Max asks his fellow leader.

"There has been a situation," Jackson starts saying. Motioning for him to continue, Jackson tells us how Peter got into a fight with Edward, using a butter knife and almost stabbing the former Erudite boy's eye out. An accident was avoided, but Jackson says that that is exactly what he was fearing. "I've told you this would happen. If Eric and Mason wouldn't have insisted on cutting initiates, we wouldn't be in this mess. Explain to me again, why this is even necessary? We need more fighters."

"What do you want from me? We were out voted. It wasn't my idea to cut them. Mason insisted it would make them work harder, and not slack off. I voted against it, but it was three against two," Max says frustrated, standing up, and walking to a small cabinet, where he pulls out a bottle, and three glasses.

I didn't know Max was against this absurd cutting rule. So, he and Jackson voted against it, only to be out voted by Mason, Eric and that other leader. Mason and Eric still want the cuts, but now there's a tie. What if I can make them reconsider their rule? I could ask to be assigned something that never takes me out of Dauntless, I wouldn't even care how boring that job would be. The only thing that would bother me is not being able to work in the control room, to make sure more gifted are kept safe. But Lauren and Zeke work there, and maybe one of the gifted initiates will opt to work their too. Plus, now that I have more allies here, maybe we can keep more people safe. My head is spinning. Whatever I choose, will have an impact on the future. Question is, what is the right decision?

Jackson and Max have been talking for a while, when Max turns his attention back to me. I look up, and see him hold a glass with a caramel tainted liquid, which smells like the booze Bud gave us the other day when we played Poker at his place.

"Max, if I accept your offer, can I ask for two things?" I ask, and he gives me a curious look. He nods his head for me to continue, not wanting to make promises before he knew what I wanted. I take a breath, and try to calm my nerves. "If I accept, is it possible for me to not have to deal with the council or the other factions at all?" I ask. Max looks from me to Jackson, and from the corner of my eye I see Jackson nod his approval. Max nods as well, and I feel encouraged to ask for a second thing.

"What's the other thing?" Max asks, when I take too long to speak again.

"There will be no cuts. Ever. Putting that much pressure on initiates won't prove anything to us. You as well as I know that sometimes it takes longer for someone to prove himself. Just because one initiate is more vicious than others doesn't mean he really fits in. It would be a real shame to lose an asset just because he wasn't ready within ten weeks. Most of them, especially the transfers, never had real fighting experience until they came here. If we want our faction to be great, we need to take our time with them, and if we pressure them, they will break and become dangerous. I warned you too, Max," I say, and he nods.

"I know you did. But the leaders decided together, and there was nothing I could do. Now, if you were to join, we would have the majority of votes," Max says smirking. This is it. If I accept, I will have to say goodbye to my old life. But maybe that's a good thing. I can't let people like Eric destroy this faction. There are a lot of things that aren't working right here, and maybe I won't be able to fix them all. But at least I can try.

"I accept," I tell him, and we shake hands.

I leave Max's office, running my hands through my hair. What have I done? Am I really ready to put myself out there? On the other hand, I will be able to monitor their involvement with those who try to kill the Gifted.

I walk down to the Pit, wondering where Tris might be, when I hear her in my head. She asks me to come to the secret training room, and inwardly I groan. What now? This girl is giving me more headaches than both initiate classes I've taught since I've joined this faction.

I hurry downstairs, making sure none of the cameras catch sight of me, while also making sure no one is following me. Once I reach the large, rusted metal door, I push it open, and enter the large room. In the middle of it, about five feet off the ground, I see Tris hovering cross-legged, with her back turned to the door. I walk closer to her, and as I go to stand in front of her I see she has her eyes closed.

"Care to explain what you were doing following Jackson around?" I ask her, but she remains silent. I grow tired of her dismissive behavior, and go to touch her. The moment I touch her arm, though, a powerful force field repels my touch, and I fly across the room, until I hit the wall behind me. The impact is so hard, I fall to the ground, and for a moment the world goes dark around me.

The next thing I know is, I'm lying on the ground, my head in Tris's lap, as she strokes my hair, and caresses my cheek, and looks down at me with worry. I force my eyes open even wider, and as she sees I am awake, I feel her tears hit my skin. Has she been crying because of me? She must feel guilty. I can't stop myself, and go to cup her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Four. I was so entranced, I didn't hear you. I'm so, so sorry," she keeps mumbling, her voice a little hoarse, her tears now streaming down her face. I will myself to sit up, although I feel a headache splitting my skull in two. She helps me sit, but I decide not to push my luck by standing up. I feel a little dizzy.

"What happened?" I ask confused.

"I wasn't paying attention to you, and when you reached out to touch me, I, I," she starts stuttering. I look at her, her eyes are filled with tears, her expression somber, and filled with guilt.

"Hey," I say, cupping her face in both my hands. "It's okay. It was an accident," I tell her. I don't know if it was, but I can't see why she would attack me. She nods her head silently. "What was that?" I ask, my curiosity overpowering my will to calming her down.

"My defensive shield. I've been practicing a little with Christina and Will, and I just created it. I didn't even think I could. I was diverting their attacks, when Will took me by surprise. The point was to push our limits, so we decided to do just that, regardless of how painful it was. Will took me by surprise, when I wasn't paying attention, and Christina used my distraction against me, and electrocuted me. It didn't last longer than a couple of seconds, something like a zap," she says, when she sees the disapproving look in my eyes. "But then she went to do it again, and I just imagined a shield in front of me to block her attack."

"Can you create it whenever now?" I ask her. She nods her head. This is amazing! Hana was right. Tris is the strongest of us all, but she still needs guidance.

"I didn't know my shield would react like that when you went to touch me. I'm sorry," she says again.

"It's okay. A good defense really is the best offense," I tell her, and she laughs a little. I wipe away her tears, hating to see her beautiful eyes bloodshot, and sad. She stands up, and helps me up as well, although I am still wobbly on my feet. We go to lean against the wall, and despite wanting to know what she was doing following around Jackson, I can see how uncomfortable she is.

I decide to just tell her that I am now a leader, and that I managed to convince Max to forget about the cuts. She first looks at me shocked, but then smiles.

"Congratulations, Four. There is no one here who deserves this position more than you," she says, with a bright smile.

"Thanks. I never wanted to be a leader. I don't know if I'm good enough for that," I say, and look straight ahead.

"You will be an amazing leader. You already are. You are the best instructor I can think off. And I'm not just saying that to earn some extra credit," she quickly adds, when I quirk my eyebrow. "You are dedicated, and you really help every one of us, despite your personal opinion of the person. I know this is long overdue, but I'm really sorry for being such a bitch on the first day we met."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I did the one thing I promised myself not to do after people did it to me my whole life," she says, and I give her a curious look. "My whole life people called me Stiff, and assumed things about me. Most of them were wrong, but that doesn't mean it didn't bother me. I just did the same to you. I assumed you were a dick, when it was me who was behaving like a child. So, I'm really sorry for that." I can't believe she apologizes. I didn't give her attitude towards me a second thought, and as I got to know her better it occurred to me she was just trying to fit in or make a lasting impression. I accept her apology, and extend my hand for her to shake. I know there can't be anything between us, but I don't want her to think I am upset with her.

"Will you tell me now why you followed Jackson around?" I ask her. She looks away sheepishly, and something tells me she did something she wasn't supposed to. "Tris?" I insist.

"I had to, okay?" I raise my eyebrows. What is that supposed to mean?

"What you do?"

"I've been following Jackson and Max for the past two weeks to," she starts stuttering again. I give her a look that says "spill the beans already", and so she does. "I put the idea in their heads that cutting initiates won't do any good. I know I abused my power, but you have seen how some initiates act and behave. Edward almost lost an eye today because they all got scared. If this continues, someone will get killed. Plus, it's unfair to kick someone out just because they haven't made it in the top ten."

I know she is right, and I understand why she did it. But risking so much just to keep everyone in Dauntless was reckless and stupid. I look at her. She doesn't even flinch when I scold her, instead she just looks down, sad that I am yelling at her. That's when I actually realize that I'm yelling. I get why she did it, I really do. And a part of me is proud that she did. I just wonder if it was worth it. I know she would have made it. She is strong, and smart, and just born to be Dauntless. I had a lot less going on for me when I was an initiate, even if there wasn't the looming threat of getting cut.

I finally give in, and ask her to never do something like that again. I tell her that now that I am a leader, maybe I'll be able to keep us all safe without her risking her life. If Eric would have caught her, I am sure he would have taken her to Jeanine Matthews to be killed or experimented on. No. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

We both agree to keep all this between us. I know Hana is already giving her a hard time, and frankly I don't understand why. She herself said Tris is stronger than any of us. The fact that Tris managed to master her own powers so quickly should be testimony of how focused and prepared she is. I know for sure that Tris worked thrice as hard as any of us, and is focused, and determined to know everything there is about her powers so that she can help us if need be. I am glad that she is so willing to help others, but I guess that's the Abnegation in her. Nevertheless, I smile at my beautiful initiate who already is more powerful than anyone I've ever met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What do you think of Four becoming leader? Will he be able to help the Gifted more? And what about his feelings for Tris? Will he admit to himself he is falling for her?


	9. Giving into fear

My team won Capture the Flag. I am not surprised. I had some of the smartest people in Dauntless working the problem as a team. Although, it was Tris's initiative that ensured our success. She boldly climbed the Ferris Wheel to get a better vantage point, and managed to come up with a brilliant plan to get the flag.

Watching her climb that metal monstrosity, I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew what I had to do. Watching her risking her life like that just caused a hole in the pit of my stomach, and I couldn't fathom letting her go up there alone. So, despite my fear of heights, I climbed after her. Of course, she immediately figured out one of my fears, but her reaction surprised me.

"You're afraid of heights," she said, turning around so that she could see my face. I looked up at her, completely busted, and wondered if I could lie. I knew she could read my mind, but so far, she kept true to her word and didn't.

"Everyone's afraid of something," I replied. She smiled, and continued climbing.

"I didn't think you were afraid of anything," she commented as she reached the end of the ladder. I smiled to myself.

As I followed her up there, just the two of us, I took a moment to just admire her. She is so strong, and beautiful, and wants just to be part of Dauntless. To me, she is the epitome of Dauntless. Not what the faction is right now, but what it is supposed to be.

Too soon she found the flag of the other team, and we climbed back down to alert the others. From then on everything passed in a blur, and before I knew it Christina was waving the flag in victory. I could tell that Tris was a little upset that Christina snatched the flag before she could, due to her shorter height, but she didn't say anything. I wanted to tell her great job, but a Dauntless member on our team went to talk to her, and invited her to go zip-lining. As much as I wanted to spend more time with her, there's no fucking way I'll ever climb on that hellish thing.

I returned to the compound, were I was drinking a beer with my friends, when almost two hours later a small group of people enters the Pit, and one of them is Tris.

I decide to just go for it, and compliment her on her great performance tonight, although she might have heard it often enough already. Every time this girl does something, the whole of Dauntless knows about it. I think even the fact that the infamous Four became leader is outshone by Tris's involvement in capturing a silly colored flag, and winning a game.

I watch as she waves goodbye to her new friends, and keep my distance until she is all alone. The moment she catches sight of me, she smiles warmly.

"You were great tonight," I tell her honestly.

"Thanks," she replies blushing. And then silence. None of us says anything. Way to go! "Uh, I should go find my friends," she says. I nod. I turn around and leave before she does. I'm such a wimp.

I return to my friends, and James gives me a curious look, and then a nod toward where Tris went. I am glad Zeke is engaged in a make-out session with Shauna, and they haven't even noticed that I was gone.

"What you say to her?" James asks whispering, sensing I am not in the mood to really talk about it, but still insists to ask the annoying question.

"I just congratulated her on her performance tonight. She did well, and deserves to know it doesn't go unnoticed," I reply. I hope this is enough for him, because I am not in the mood to explain that I have a crush on one of my initiates.

"Uh-huh," James says, before taking a sip from his bottle. I roll my eyes, and leave. I am tired. Tomorrow might not be training, and Max promised me that until initiation concludes I won't have to do anything else.

I make a detour to the control room, wanting to check on things there. I find that only a handful of people work the night shift, and they don't pay much attention to me. I go to sit at my old station, flipping through the different cameras. I see many people in the Pit, some walking down the halls to their apartments, others in more secluded areas making out, and then I see something that makes my blood run cold.

Three hooded figures are trying to push someone into the Chasm. A girl. A blonde girl. Tris.

The realization of what I am seeing hits me like a brick wall. I jump up, and start running, silently praying I won't be too late. I run as fast as the wind, knowing exactly the spot where they are. It's the same spot Eric made Christina dangle to prove some imaginary point. I feel my whole body protest as I push myself more and more to reach her, to save her.

"Why won't you die already, Stiff?" I hear a male voice.

I watch her as she fights back, but three against one is unfair, and she doesn't stand a chance. I grab the one nearest to me, punch him in the stomach, and let him fall to the ground. I then kick the next one in the shin, and he crouches down, holding his hand over the place I just kicked. The third one is about my height, but he is clumsy, and upon seeing his "friends" get hit, he takes a step back, but I launch myself at him, grabbing him by the head, and smashing it against the wall. As he falls to the ground, I turn around to see Tris grabbing the railing a few feet away from where I am. I take three huge steps towards her, and the moment I am near her, I pull her into my arms. I breathe in her scent, allowing myself a moment to calm down. But my heart is pounding, my blood is rushing through my veins making it impossible for me to hear anything.

"It's okay, it's over," I murmur into her ear, but it's more to calm myself. I hear groaning, and look up. The first two start to stand up again, and I go to hit them again, when I feel a tug on my arm. I look down, and see Tris's pleading eyes. I nod. I stay with her. By the time we both look toward the trio of attempted murderers, they are gone. I am angry that I let them slip, but I couldn't leave her. "Come with me," I tell her.

We walk silently down the hall, and up the stairs to where my apartment is. Not once have I let go of her. I unlock the door, and usher her inside, before entering, closing, and locking up again. I know I have to report the attack, but right now she is my priority.

"I can't believe they would try this," she says bitter.

"Are you alright?" I ask her, stepping closer. Her back is turned to me, and I can tell she is trying to calm herself. I reach out, and soon both my hands are on her shoulders. She tenses up for a second, before relaxing. I take one final step, and hold her against me. This moment would be so much better if it wasn't preceded by the attack on her.

"Those three were Al, Peter, and Drew," she tells me. I squeeze her shoulders a little at the mention of the three guys, and immediately let go.

"I'm sorry."

"I get Peter, he is a fucking son of a bitch. Drew is his lackey, so no surprise there. But Al," she says frustrated and turns around. She stands a mere inch or two away from me, our breaths hitting the other without a barrier in between. "I mean, I helped him. What is wrong with him?" she asks angry.

"He is failing, and he knows it. You are moving up in the ranks, and he stays behind. It makes him hate you, and it makes him hate himself for that. People like Al," I say, and for the first time our eyes lock. I am mesmerized by the depth of her gaze, the storm behind her blue-gray orbs. She pokes me with her right index finger, signaling me to continue. "He gives into his fear. But you. You are different," I tell her. She raises an eyebrow. "Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. I've seen it." We remain both quiet for a moment.

"Well, I hate being afraid."

I wish Max would have made the announcement about the initiates tonight instead of waiting till tomorrow. Maybe this whole attack could have been avoided. Those bastards could have killed her. And for what? In the end, all of them will be made members, although these three don't deserve to be here.

"What are you going to do?" Tris asks.

"I need to report the attack," I tell her. She shakes her head.

"Don't. Please." I look at her confused.

"Why not?" I ask her angry. She grabs my large hand in her smaller one, and looks down at where they are joined. I follow her gaze, and I feel my heart skip a beat. Am I falling for her?

"Peter deserves to be tied to the tracks, I give you that. Drew, well, he is a moron who follows blindly whoever shouts the loudest, but I think he could be re-educated if given the chance to redemption. As for Al, he made a mistake out of fear. I know that living with the guilt will be punishment enough," she finishes, and looks into my eyes again. "I know I can't ask anything of you. You are a leader, and I am just an initiate. We aren't even friends," she says, and my heart sinks. I think of what she's saying. The right thing to do is report them, but with Eric and Mason still wanting to cut initiates, Max and Jackson might reconsider their position and vote for the cuts instead of against them. I nod my head reluctantly, and offer her to stay in my apartment.

After a little argument on her part, she finally accepts, and I offer my bed. I will sleep on the floor, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.

The night passes, albeit without much rest for me. The floor is hard, and cold, and I cursed a few times the fact that I never bothered to get myself a couch. However, I couldn't break my promise to her, and just slip into bed with her. I know she said we aren't friends, but she trusts me, and I can't break her trust. I don't want to break it. I don't even know what I feel. I need to sort those feelings out, and keep them to myself for the time being. She needs to concentrate on initiation, and maybe afterwards, I mean, maybe, she will consider going out with me?

I'm such a wuss. I'm glad Zeke can't hear my thoughts. At the thought of someone reading my mind, I instantly remember she can. What if she does? What if she does it right now?

I lift myself a little to watch her, but she seems sound asleep. No. It's just in my head. She promised she wouldn't, and I choose to trust her. Besides, I think there were more interesting things she could confront me with than the fact that I have a little crush on her.

Damn it! I need to sleep for at least a couple of hours. I know we don't have training in the morning, but that doesn't mean I don't have things to do. And the sooner morning comes, the better. I close my eyes, and literally start counting sheep, until I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I groan, and it takes me a moment to realize where I am, and what happened. I sit up, looking toward the petite blonde in my bed, still asleep, and a small smile on her face. A few strands have fallen forward over her face, and I fight the urge to go and push them behind her ear.

Instead, I stand up, stretch for a moment, and then leave the apartment. If I'm lucky, I'll find those three bastards, and scare the living daylights out of them. What they don't know yet is that there won't be no cuts. Threatening them to make them factionless if they step another toe out of line will keep them well behaved for the time being.


	10. Confessions

Tris's POV

I wake with a start. I sit up in my bed, frantically looking around. I had a nightmare. But it was so real. Fire, destruction, death everywhere around me. I have lost everything. My family, my friends, my husband.

What?

You don't have a husband, Tris!

What is going on?

I blink a few times, adjusting my eyes to the brightness in the room. I don't remember the dorm room ever being so bright. As I force them open, my eyes see a different sight. This is not the dorm room. Where am I?

I think back to the night before, and remember Capture the Flag, how I climbed the Ferris Wheel with Four, how we won, how I went zip-lining, how Four looked genuinely happy when he said I did good. A smile creeps onto my face, and stays there.

I look around again. I'm in his apartment. The idea that I am in his apartment, in his bed makes me giddy. But then I remember why I am here in the first place. My face falls remembering how Al tried to kill me. I could have saved myself, but he doesn't know that. He had every intention to end my life. And for what? So he can take my place here in Dauntless? And what life would that be? He isn't Dauntless. He is a coward. His whole life here would have been built on a murder. My murder.

I thought he was my friend. I know he is a bit awkward, but I thought he was a good guy. I always tried to help him.

I pull my knees to my chest, and rest my arms on them. I start crying. I feel so betrayed. I know there are a lot of things Al doesn't know about me, but he seemed like he wanted to be my friend. I was willing to teach him some things to get better, but instead he took my friendship and threw it away.

"Hey. Don't cry," I hear Four's deep, masculine voice. I look up through a curtain of tears, and he cups my cheek in his right hand. I lean in, and let more tears fall. He sits down on the bed, holding out his arms, and without giving it a second thought, I crawl onto his lap, straddle him, and start crying harder. He holds me close, one hand in my hair, the other caressing my back, all the while whispering words of comfort into my ear.

I hold onto him for dear life. I've been craving a real hug for so long. I know Hana and the others are scared of what I can do, and they don't even know half of it. They've been keeping their distance from me, as if I am sick or something.

"It's okay, Tris. You are safe. I won't let anyone ever hurt you," he promises. I want to believe him. "Then believe me," he says. I pull away slightly, to look into his eyes.

"You heard me?" I ask, and he nods.

"It's okay. You are upset. You don't have to force your powers to shut down. But promise you won't trash my place. It ain't much, but it's home," he says with a genuine smile. I laugh a little, but it sounds more like a hiccup. I hug him again, glad that at least someone isn't scared of me. But then I wonder.

"Are you scared of me?" I ask, my face buried in his neck. He smells so good, so masculine. He smells of sandalwood, and toothpaste.

"Why do you ask?" he asks in return.

"Everyone else is," I state matter-of-factly.

"Did you read their minds?"

"No. But I can tell," I stubbornly argue. He pushes me away a little, but keeps me close enough for our breaths to hit the other's skin.

"They are scared. You are very powerful, and they don't know what to do about it," he tells me. I didn't think he would get so candid, but I'm glad he is. "I'd lie if I'd deny I'm not a little scared at times too. But I see how much you struggle, and I want to believe you kept your promise when you said you didn't read my mind," he tells me, his face serious, but his eyes show a softness I haven't noticed until now. I nod my head. I wait for him to continue, but instead, he pulls me back into his embrace, rubbing small circles around my back. "Just because you are powerful doesn't mean you will do something bad. I would have thought someone who knows you would see that, but I guess I was wrong," he finally finishes his thought.

"What do you mean?" I inquire intrigued now.

"Hana and the other 'adults' think you need to be better controlled," he says, and I pull away abruptly. He loosens his grip, but keeps me in his arms.

"They want to control me? Why?" I ask confused. I don't think I did anything to warrant a restraint of any kind.

"They are afraid that your unpredictable behavior might expose you, expose all of us."

Four goes on to explain to me how he discovered that our leaders are conspiring to kill all the Gifted. Mom told me that there were people out there killing our kind, but I guess now it all becomes more real. Now we can put faces on our fears.

I try to understand why they kill us, and Four thinks it's because we are different, because they can't control us. At that I scoff, and he gives me a curious look.

"It's a bit hilarious that we want to fight those who are afraid of our powers, when people like us want to shut me down," I say, and feel myself getting angry.

He pulls me back into his arms, and holds me tightly. I feel myself relax immediately, relishing in the feeling of his firm body pressed against mine. I don't know what to think. He is my instructor, and I am his initiate. And there is no way he could like me. If only I didn't like him so much. Damn feelings! Go away!

"They are scared, and I can understand it. Just like with Al, they let their fear dictate their actions and decisions. You are different. I've told you, fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. You take that fear, face it, and allow it to make you stronger. I've always admired that about you."

I remain silent. I am speechless, actually. I didn't know he thought that of me. I knew the others were scared of me, but I didn't think they would go so far as to actually discuss to control me in some way. And how are they even planning on doing that? More importantly, Four said that the Dauntless leaders are all involved in a conspiracy to kill the Gifted. Is there anyone else?

"Four?" I ask, and he hums. "Other than the Dauntless leaders, are there other conspirators?"

He goes on to tell me that Jeanine Matthews, head of Erudite, is at the center of all the killings. She gathered a small group of fanatics around her, and convinced them that anyone different from them is dangerous and must be eliminated.

I remain completely silent as he tells me how he found out about all this. I am most impressed by his ingenuity, and cleverness to spy on our leaders. He tells me how he used a mirror program to copy all the file transfer between the involved parties, and gathered enough evidence to bring them to Candor. But lately, they've been talking in code or so he thinks.

"I don't know if they figured out that someone is spying on them, or maybe it's just my imagination. But I think Jeanine and the others are planning something big. I don't know what yet. They've been very cryptic about their communications."

"Maybe I can find out more," I suggest. At that, he roughly pushes me away from him, his hands grabbing my arms violently, and I flinch a little. Upon seeing my pained expression, he loosens his grip slightly, but doesn't let go.

"No. It's too dangerous. Promise me, Tris. If they find out about you, they will kill you!" he says panicked. I've never seen Four like this.

"Four, why are you acting like this?" I ask him confused, and a little irritated. He is not the boss of me. Why do people always decide for me? I can make my own damn decisions.

Before I can even mutter a sentence, he crashes his lips over mine, his hands let go of my arms, only to wrap his arms around my small frame, pulling me close to him. At first, I was surprised, but as I feel the warm lips on my own, his warm body entangled with mine, his arms protectively, and almost possessively wrapped around my petite frame, I can't help the sigh that escapes me. Emboldened by my reaction, Four licks my bottom lip, and I willingly open my mouth. He slips his tongue inside, and a moment later our tongues dance back and forth, fighting for dominance. My first kiss! I never dreamt of something like this. I never felt this way before.

Too soon, Four pulls back, and rests his forehead against mine. We both pant heavily, but I can't help the wide grin that splits my face. As I look at him, he has a similar grin on his face, and his eyes shine with delight. Is he as excited about this as I am? I can't believe that. He is so handsome. I'm sure dozens of girls throw themselves at him. Why would he want to kiss me?

"Because I like you," he says, his grin still there, but now his hands cradle my face, holding me in place.

"Did you hear my thoughts again?" I ask confused. He smiles.

"You said that out loud. Girls don't throw themselves at me. I think I scare them," he says chuckling.

"I can't see why," I reply sarcastically, and he bursts out laughing.

"I mean it, Tris. I like you," he tells me. I can see the sincerity in his eyes, without even thinking of reading his mind. "I've liked you since I first saw you. I wasn't sure you liked me back, though," he says, a small blush creeping onto his face.

"I do," I tell him sheepishly. "Why me?"

"Must be because you're so approachable," he states, which makes us both laugh. He repeated what I've told him the first night here in Dauntless. When our laughter subsides, he looks at me seriously, but his smile still remains. "You are smart, and brave, witty, and funny. You are true to yourself, hard-working, caring, and selfless. There are so many things I like about you, and every day I discover something new that makes me like you even more. Even when you're down, you never give up. You fight for what is right, and stand your ground in the face of injustice."

"Why haven't you said something before?" I ask him curious. He always treated me with a certain coolness, as if I'm beneath him. I mean, I understood it when we were with the other initiates, but during our secret training with the other Gifted he always kept his distance to me, as if I was poisonous.

"You are my initiate. I can't technically fraternize with you. I don't want anyone to think that your achievements have anything to do with my feelings for you," he tells me honestly. "Tris, I want you to read my mind. I know you can select memories, so I'll trust you'll only look for those involving you." I stare at him in shock. He would let me search through his mind, just to prove to me he is telling the truth.

I don't have to. His eyes are telling me his words are honest. I shake my head, and he frowns.

"I believe you. Anything you tell me, I choose to believe, because underneath that grumpy instructor person is a genuine nice guy."

He smiles brilliantly at me, and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I almost get sick from this feeling, and decide to bury my face in his neck again.

"I really like you, Four," I tell him.

"I wish I could take you out on a date," he comments. I chuckle. "We'll have to wait for after initiation. Once you're a member we can go out in public." I hum in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay! They've kissed. And they confessed liking each other. What next? Will Four tell Tris about his secret? And what about Hana and the other adults? Do they really fear Tris so much that they want to control her? Find out more in the next chapter. 
> 
> Feel free to comment or PM me. I'd love to hear your opinions.


	11. Our fears

Phase 1 concluded, and I came out sixth. That was a great result, considering I was competing against twenty-three other initiates. My friends all came out pretty high, too. Max announced that leadership reconsidered cutting people, since this year's initiate class was so promising. Complete bull shit, but as long as we can all stay, I really don't care what excuse he uses.

The initiates were given the day off after the results were announced. We still aren't allowed to leave the compound, but at least we could relax a little before the dreadful Phase 2 started. Four already told me a little about it, and as we all sat at the table during supper, Zeke and Lauren gave away a few more details.

It's been two weeks into Phase 2. Every day, we practice in our fear landscapes, and each time I'm happier than the time before when I can finally leave. The waiting is bad, but actually being inside one's fear is so much worse.

Four told me after the first time I was under a simulation that I needed to cool it down in there. I was too good. I didn't quite understand what he meant, but then he explained that regular people don't do so well. It has something to do with our gifts. After we went through the Change, our brains seemed to have rewired themselves, making us perceive certain things, like fears, differently than your average Joe. I tried my best to act more like a Dauntless inside the sims, and so far I've been doing a good job I think.

As usual, when things go great, some shit usually happens. For me, it was one of my fears. I was in Four's apartment, and he was coming straight toward me. He looked like a predator, and I was his prey. At first, I thought he wanted to play a game or scare me for some reason, but then he pushed me on his bed, and started kissing me everywhere. Well, that wasn't the bad part. After that morning following my attack, Four and I have been sneaking around to see each other. He took me to all kinds of places, where we could just be the two of us: no Dauntless, no initiates, no Gifted, no nothing. Just him and me. One of our favorite spots is down by the Chasm. No one ever comes there, and we have some privacy even during the day. Yesterday, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I happily agreed. I've never been happier in my life, and I can tell he is happy too. Which is why this fear doesn't quite make sense. Or better yet, it does, it just bothers me that it is so obvious and appears in my fear landscape.

Four was aggressively kissing me in the simulation, and I tried to get away from him. He was pushing me to have sex, and I know deep down without a doubt that the real Four would never force me to do anything I didn't want to. I managed to stop the simulation by kicking and punching Simulation Four. The image faded, and I opened my eyes to find myself staring into his dark blue ones.

"You know that I would never do that, right?" he asked. I could only nod. No matter how often I go in, coming out of my fear landscape always leaves me with a feeling of emptiness, and dread. That's why, I think, Four usually leaves me for last, so that we can go to his place or the Chasm where he would just hold me tightly in his strong arms. I don't know what I ever did to deserve him, but I'll be damned if I'll let him go. Today, he left Uriah and Will for last, but he asked me to go to the Chasm, and wait for him there.

I am sitting on one of the larger rocks, my feet bare as I dangle them over the rushing water getting them wet without even dipping them in. I love this place. It is so peaceful, and it always calms me down. Or maybe it does because I associate it with Four. He always calms me down, even if we just had an argument.

Ever since he told me about Jeanine, and the Dauntless leaders, I've been waiting for Hana or my uncle or really anyone to tell me about this looming threat. I know for sure that everyone in our group knows about it. So, why aren't they telling me? Can it be really true that they fear me so much they would lie to me? Don't they know I could easily read their minds? I know I wouldn't, but I am starting to wonder if they do. Why are they treating me as if I committed a terrible crime or that I might be insane? Can't they see they're hurting me with their attitude?

I can tell that Christina and Will, and even the Dauntless-born Gifted are trying to include me more in their group activities, but I know from Four that they've been meeting a few more times in the secret training room without me. It is Hana's opinion that I already am too powerful. No need to increase that. Instead, she focuses on indoctrinating the others, making them believe that by laying low, hiding their powers they won't get caught, they won't get hurt, they won't get killed. I would like to ask her how that's working out, since it didn't help those who did get caught, did get hurt, did get killed. I sigh in frustration.

"Babe, it's fine. It's absolutely normal," Four says, as he approaches that spot where I am sitting. I look up at him, and I remember what he just saw. I frown.

"I just hate that you had to see that," I tell him. He sits down next to me, draping an arm around me, before kissing my cheek.

"Tris, I've been thinking," he says.

"Good for you," I say absentmindedly. He chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you think I'm a bonehead," he jokes.

"I don't think that," I say, turning my head to him. "Not always, anyway," I add with a smirk. He smiles, and kisses me softly on the lips. I love the feeling of having his lips on mine. They are soft, yet strong, and they make me feel like I can fly.

"Anyway, I was thinking about this situation. I know it's unfair that I get to see all your fears, while you don't see mine," he starts saying. Where is he going with this? He turns his head, and looks straight ahead. He remains silent for a moment. It must be hard for him, so I don't say anything. Whatever he wants to tell me, I'll give him the space he needs to form coherent sentences. However, when several minutes pass, and he still doesn't say anything, I start to worry.

"Four," I start, and he turns his head. He raises his left index finger, and places it on my lips, telling me to shut up.

"I've never felt like this before. What I feel for you, it's strong, and wonderful, and terrifying, and exciting, and so much more that I can't put it in words. I know we haven't known each other for a long time. But I want to know everything about you, just as much as I want you to know everything about me." He pauses. I see sweat beads on his forehead. He is clearly nervous, and I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing. "There are things about me, things in my past that are bad, that you might not like. That might take you away from me," he starts saying. He is afraid that I might break up with him, but no matter what his secrets are, I won't break up with him. God, how can he think that? We all have our demons, our own baggage, our own shit to sort through. Who am I to judge him?

"Four, you need to have faith in me that I won't be scared off so easily," I tell him with what I hope is a reassuring smile. He smiles back, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He is still worried. How can I calm him down, reassure him that I won't leave? "There are things in my life, in my past that aren't so nice either. I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything. I won't judge, or leave you. I," I start to stutter. I know what I want to say. I know how strongly I feel for him, but I don't think now is the right time. I take his hands in mine, and lift them to my lips. I kiss the backs of both his hands, before looking into his eyes. "You mean a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to me, too," he says almost immediately. "That's why I want you to know me, all of me. No more secrets," he says determined. I tilt my head to the side, not quite understanding what he means. "I want you to come into my fear landscape," he declares.

I blink rapidly, trying to understand what he just said. Go into his fear landscape? Is that even possible?

He doesn't give me time to ponder it any longer, since he gets up, pulls me after him, and starts to move away. I pull him back, and he looks at me with a frown. I point toward my still bare feet, and he smiles, rolling his eyes. I know this is important to him. No matter what he'll show or tell me, I doubt it will make me give up on him. I hurry putting my boots back on, and soon we are back in the fear landscape room.

On our way, he texted someone. I don't know who, because I didn't ask, but if he wants to share, he will. We enter the room, he closes and locks the door behind us, goes to the computer, and sets everything up. Unlike before, he first injects himself with the simulation serum, and then me. He puts the electrodes on both our heads, and sits in the reclining chair, beckoning me to sit in front of him. I do so, leaning my back against his chest. A moment later, an image appears.

We are on a bridge of pipes between two very tall buildings. Fear of heights. I knew that. I look up to see him look down in horror. I cradle his face in my palms, and look him straight in the eyes.

"You can do this. I believe in you," I tell him reassuringly. He smiles a little, but I can tell it doesn't work. "It's not real. You are with me, and I won't let go," I try again. This time his smile widens.

"We need to jump." I nod my head. I grab his hand in mine, and allow him to make the next move. I don't want to pressure him. It's his fear, and he needs to overcome it.

As we plummet to the ground, the image fades, only to be replaced by another. We are now in a metal box that starts closing in on us. I look at him, and see nervous sweat beads all over his forehead and face.

"Fear of confinement," he states matter-of-factly. I nod. I momentarily wonder where that came from. I know some fears are just there, for no particular reason, while others run deep. I hope this one is of the former.

The walls are closing in, and there is nothing we can do to stop that from happening. Four told us that if we can't conquer our fears, we need to calm down enough for the program to move on to the next fear. Since it doesn't seem he will conquer it, he needs to lower his heart rate.

"Four, focus on me," I say, and he looks at me panicked. I hate seeing him like this. I grab his hand, and place it over my heart, ignoring the fact that his large hand is placed over my sensitive chest. I hope he doesn't see my blush. I look at him, and he stares at his hand in bewilderment. "Can you feel my heartbeat?" I ask, and he nods. "Can you feel how steady it is?"

"Your heart is pounding," he states.

"Well, it's not because of the shrinking box," I say boldly. I don't even know where that came from. He looks up, and smirks. Before I know it, he leans in, and captures my lips. When we both open our eyes, the shrinking box has disappeared, and I know we are facing his next fear.

I look around and see a chair in the middle of the room with someone sitting in it. It's a girl, and I feel a pang of jealousy. I try to push it down, knowing that he wouldn't just bring me in his fear landscape to show me his ex-girlfriend. As I step closer, I watch him carefully as he picks up a gun from a nearby table, and points it toward her.

"Who is she?" I ask curiously.

"An innocent. As a soldier I have to follow orders I don't always agree with." Ah, that makes sense. I want to kick myself for even thinking something else.

He knows what he has to do to move forward, and a second later I hear the loud bang of the gun. The image fades, only to be replaced by the next one.

Something is wrong. We are in Abnegation. Why are we here?

"Our greatest fears live in the deepest parts of our minds," he says, and I stare at him. I want to ask him why we are here, when I hear footsteps coming down in the typical Abnegation house. As I look up I recognize Marcus Eaton, the Abnegation leader, but his eyes are black beads, and his mouth is just a gaping hole. He looks like a monster.

Hang on! Why is Four afraid of Marcus? Unless… This can't be. Is he?

"Marcus had a son. What was his name?" I whisper.

"Tobias," Simulation Marcus says. I look toward Four, and see him flinch. His heartrate is much higher than it was before. Four is absolutely terrified of Marcus. "This is for your own good," Simulation Marcus says coming down. He suddenly starts to multiply himself, and now, we're surrounded by half a dozen hideous-looking Simulation Marcus'. I watch in horror as one of them takes his belt off, and comes toward us. Four is frozen in place, staring at the foul creature before us. Four is Tobias Eaton. And judging by this fear, Erudite was right with their reports. Marcus did abuse his son. How could he? His own child? "This is for your own good," Simulation Marcus repeats as he raises his hand, belt firmly in his grip, as he goes to hit Four. I launch myself between them, taking the lash. The pain is almost unbearable, and this is just a simulation. I don't even want to know what this feels like in real life. I don't even pay attention to Four anymore, as he manages to get past this fear. The image fades.

I expect another image to form, and when it doesn't, we are back in the fear landscape room. Is it over? I look at Four. He is still sitting behind me, panting heavily, sweaty, and flushed. I want to say something, but before I can, he launches himself forward, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tightly. I let him. I know firsthand what an ordeal going through your fear landscape is.

"I love you," he whispers. I freeze. Did I just imagine that? Did he just say those three little words? I don't do or say anything. I don't know what to do or say.

No, I do know. I turn slightly in his arms, and look him straight in the eyes.

"I love you, too," I tell him softly. I do, I really do love him. He is amazing. I knew that before all this, but now, I think I love him even more. There is a lot we need to talk about, but I am not going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: They've told those three little words to each other. What did you think? What is going on with the adults? Why are they keeping Tris out of the loop? Any ideas?


	12. Bad to the Bone

Tobias's POV

I did it. I showed Tris my fears, and she didn't run away. I confessed how deep my feelings go for her, and she didn't run away. She even told me my feelings are reciprocated. Never in my life was I happier than I am right now. She loves me. And I love her. And she didn't run away.

The moment we unhooked from the machine, I wiped the record of us being in here, and texted Zeke my thanks. He knew I was going to practice with Tris, since she seemed to be too good. He agreed immediately, mainly because he believes his mother when she says that Tris will most likely do something stupid.

For the past few weeks, Hana kept telling us that we needed to push our urge to use our powers down. With the threat hanging over our heads, she seems to be emboldened in her decision to keep everyone under control. I can see the fear in her eyes, and that fear makes her do stupid things. Worse of all, she started to turn the others against Tris. Unwillingly, of course, but I've seen how Zeke absorbs everything his mother says. Bud isn't far behind, and while others like Harrison and Lauren struggle with keeping secrets from Tris, they still do it.

The one who surprised me the most was Uriah. He was always a little bit of a mama's boy, but unlike his older brother he sees things just like Tris. Not practicing, and increasing our power will most likely end in us getting killed. No one said we should flaunt what we can do, but suppressing our powers can't be good. If anything, not practicing will make us slack off, and when we really need to use them, we won't be able to control them. The same happens with people who slack off after their initiation. I've seen many Dauntless struggle for a few days after a long while of not using a gun or knife. The same thing goes for our powers. It seems, while Tris is the youngest, and got her powers last, she is wiser when it comes to nurturing her gift. The weeks I've spent just with her showed me that she is far more mature about this whole problem than those who are actual adults. She thinks things through, asks pertinent questions, involved me in her decisions. She even helped me with my own power. I am far stronger than I was, and it is easier for me to control it. We sometimes practice for hours when we got the time, but make sure no one finds us. She even told me all the stories about the Pillars, all the legends about who or what we are. Hana never told us about that. On one hand, it doesn't bother me, because they are just stories. But on the other, it would have given us a sense of belonging. I know I am not the only one who felt like a freak.

For the past hour, I've been sitting on my bed, legs crossed underneath me, with Tris mirroring me sitting opposite of me. I've told her everything. I know she could have easily read my mind, but I wanted to tell her. I trust her, and I want to start fresh. The entire time I spoke, Tris listened to me in silence, but never once let go of my hand. Unlike others who got to know my story, she never looked at me as if I was a kicked puppy, a victim, a broken man. Instead, she looked at me admiringly, loving, and even proud. When I asked her about it, she smiled.

"Because you are brave. You might think you were a coward for leaving Abnegation, but you are not. No matter what, I believe that you would have stood up to your father," she says confidently. I shake my head.

"I didn't stand up to him even now, after I spent two years in Dauntless," I argue. She shakes her head.

"Just because you haven't actually punched him in the face, doesn't mean you won't. I don't believe you chose to not meet him because you are afraid of him anymore. You could annihilate him with your left pinky if you wanted that. I think you chose not to meet him again because you could inflict more pain than he ever could. And the fact that you choose not to be like him takes courage. You could have easily become a scumbag like Eric, but you chose not to."

"I think you have a too good opinion about me," I say with a smile, but her words warm my heart. No one ever talked to me like this before. She believes in me, she sees me how I really am, and she isn't discouraged. She sits here with me on my bed, telling me how proud she is of me.

I have never had anyone like her in my life to love me for me, and not judge me. She makes me stronger, braver, and kinder. She never asks for anything, but gives me her whole heart. She is a ray of sunshine in my otherwise stormy life. How could anyone think she is anything but an angel from above? How can Hana fear her, when she did nothing to make us even think she could betray us? If anything, everyone betrayed her. Her family, her friends, they all so easily pushed her aside because they are afraid.

Tris once asked me a very simple, yet smart question. "If you have a gun, will you use it to shoot someone just because? Or will you holster it?" The question was simple, and so was my answer. I would holster it. Why would I shoot someone randomly? The same goes for our powers. Just because we have them, doesn't mean we will use them to hurt someone. And unlike a gun, we didn't choose to have powers. We were gifted. We had no say in what that gift looked like.

I think the true reason Hana and the others are so afraid is, that it took Tris far less time to learn to control her gift than it took them. And once she was in control, she could nurture her power, increase it, and discover new nuances.

Hana doesn't even know all the things Tris can do. Everyone thinks Tris's gifts are telepathy and telekinesis. Well, that's where it started, but since then she managed to do amazing things, like specifically looking for memories in someone's head or planting small ideas. The most amazing thing, however, is how she can disintegrate matter with her mind. She has been trying to build things, and while she can put together some things, she gets frustrated when she can't rebuild what she had destroyed. I don't know where she even got the idea to destroy things in the first place, but it is a mystery to me how she thinks she can create them anew. She once told me she was just curious to see if she could do it, and practiced for so long until she mastered it.

"Tobias, you are a wonderful person. Never doubt that. I don't have to read your mind or feel your emotions, like Marlene does, to know you. I was privileged to get to know the real you. And it is amazing. I love you, my God, I love you so much," she states, and crawls closer to me, until she sits in my lap, her legs go around my waist, her arms around my neck, and she kisses me fiercely. I smile into the kiss, and wrap my arms around her tight. Just as I deepen our kiss, a loud knock on my door pulls us apart. I groan, and Tris buries her face in my neck.

"I swear, if this isn't important, I'm going to murder whoever is cutting into our make out time," I growl. Tris chuckles lightly, and goes to get off of me. I ask her to go into the bathroom, since we don't know who it is. She gives me one last peck, before disappearing in the small dark room.

I hurry to open the door, and to my surprise I find Uriah and Marlene standing there. I invite them in, despite wanting nothing more than to tell them to piss off. I hang my head, but know that they wouldn't come here unless it was important.

"You should ask Tris to come out," Marlene suddenly says, surprising me. A moment later, Tris emerges from the bathroom, smiling at Marlene.

"How'd you know she was in there?" Uriah asks flabbergasted.

"I could feel her," she says smiling brightly. "And, are congratulations in order?" she asks, looking between me and Tris. Tris grins, and then looks at me, giving me a slight nod.

"She knows, she can feel our love for each other," Tris says to me in my head. I nod.

"Congratulations for what?" Uriah asks even more confused than he was a moment ago.

"They are in love," Marlene says beaming. "I'm so happy for you too," she adds hugging Tris, and then comes to hug me as well. I awkwardly hug her back, but I'm glad when Tris takes her place.

"Since when are you two?" Uriah asks, gesturing between me and Tris.

"We've been getting closer since Capture the Flag. Well, we've got along before too, but that evening a lot of things happened, and we started spending more time together," Tris tells them with a happy smile on her face. I put my arm around her, grinning like a lovesick teenager.

"But you guys need to keep this to yourselves," I tell them, my voice stern, and they nod immediately in agreement.

I then ask them to tell me what brought them here, and Uriah's face falls. This can't be good.

For the next half hour, Marlene and Uriah tell us how the 'adults' decided that they wouldn't train them anymore. It was decided that it was safer to lay low until the immediate threat was gone. How naïve can they be? There will always be a threat. We are different, and people fear what is different, what they can't explain. I can't understand that Hana would be so blind or stupid to not see that.

"What do you want?" Tris asks, her voice devoid of emotion. I look at her, her face is serious, her eyes cold, and her lips pursed.

"I want to be able to live in peace, without wondering if the next person I meet might kill me," Uriah says frustrated.

"Have you improved since I stopped coming to the training sessions?" she asks further, and Marlene scoffs.

"How can we? Hana and Bud decided we better stick to what we know," she informs us. I stopped going to the training sessions thanks to my job. Zeke tried to convince me to come a few times, but I used the excuse that I was too tired, and didn't want to cause a fire. He always chuckled, and let me be.

"Do the others share Hana's ideas?" Tris asks pointedly. I know this is a sore spot for Uriah, but he is his own person now. Since I met him two years ago he has grown up a lot, especially since his initiation started.

"Some do, others whisper behind Ma's back," he says.

"Tris, I want you to know that I don't share Hana's views regarding you," Marlene surprises us. I've told Tris already everything I know, but it's refreshing to see that we are not the only ones who think that Hana has lost her way.

"And what would those views be?" Tris pretends to not know.

"She thinks you are dangerous. You are reckless, and you will ultimately expose us all," she says. We remain silent for a moment.

"She grows paranoid every day," Uriah says with a sigh.

"She even," Marlene starts, but then looks at Uriah for some sort of approval. I wonder what they want to say that makes them act so fearful.

"She thinks if you join forces you can overpower me," Tris says. "I haven't read your minds," Tris adds, when she sees both of them stare at her flabbergasted. "It's a logical assumption. But to put at least your minds at ease, I have no intention of exposing us. And I might have been reckless before, but back then I didn't put others in danger with it. I know Hana thinks I am still the silly prankster I always was, but my pranking days are over."

I look at her, surprised by what she said. Pranks? What pranks?

"You should all sit down. This might shock you," she says with a chuckle. We all sit on the edge of my bed, watching her carefully. "I wanted you to be the first to know this," she says looking at me, "but I hope you don't mind that Uriah and Marlene will hear this too." I nod my head, and wait for her to continue. "Do you remember in school, there was a prankster who called herself 'Bad to the Bone'?" she asks. I think back, and the name does sound familiar. No one knew how this person looked like, but everyone assumed it was a Dauntless kid.

"Hang on. Did you say 'herself'? As in, it is a girl?" Uriah asks in disbelief. Tris nods, a wide grin splitting her face.

"Gentlemen," she says looking first at me, and then at Uriah, before her gaze finally settles on Marlene, "and lady, may I introduce myself. Bad to the Bone," Tris says in an exaggerated fashion, before taking a bow.

She goes on to tell us how she single-handedly pranked every teacher, all the Erudite snobs, every prick who picked on the Abnegation kids, and finally how she is responsible for three different fires that burned down two Chemistry labs and the cafeteria. Tris swears it was by accident, but doesn't show any kind of remorse. If I wouldn't know her so well, I would think she is just messing with us. But she even offers to show us her memories. I want to decline, but both Marlene and Uriah happily accept her offer, and soon all three of us watch in our minds a younger version of Tris as she pulls off every one of her pranks. The others laugh until they roll on the floor, but I frown a few times, realizing how reckless Tris really is. She got herself in harm's way more than a few times. She got hurt really badly, sometimes even an inch away from death. And for what? For a joke?

When Marlene and Uriah finally leave, I lock the door, and return to the bed. Tris is sitting once again cross-legged on it, waiting for me.

"Just tell me. No secrets. Remember?" she asks, and I nod. I sit down, trying to think of a smart way to tell her this. I know that if I push, she'll get upset and shut me out. "I've told you, there are things in my past I'm not so proud of, even if it looked like it. I saw your frowns and scowls, and I know why they appeared."

"I never thought I'd say this, but Hana was right. You are reckless," I say, and now it's Tris's turn to frown at me. She goes to stand up, but I pull her back. She fights a little, but I soon hold her tightly to me, pleading with her. "Please, don't do any more of these stupid things. I couldn't bear seeing you hurt." She stops struggling, and instead turns in my arms so she sits comfortably in my lap.

"I was dumb, and didn't think twice of the consequences. But all these pranks made me feel free, made me feel alive, made me feel Dauntless. But I'm not the girl you saw there anymore. I've grown up, I know that if I act like that prankster I might get myself killed. And worse, I might get the people that I love hurt or killed as well. I am not perfect, but I want to be a better person. I feel that the Gift requires of me to be better than I am, and help others be better too. I think, we still have a lot to learn, and I think we need to be bold, and explore the world."

I watch her intently as she speaks with so much conviction and enthusiasm. I don't know where she got any of that, but it is certainly appealing to me.

"I am just scared I might lose you," I confess. I stare straight into her eyes, watching her as if she is some sort of heavenly gift to make my miserable existence more pleasant. "I love you."

"I love you, too. You won't lose me. I promise."

I lean in to kiss her, and when our lips meet, I feel myself melt against her body. I wrap my arms tightly around her petite frame, relishing in the feeling of having her all to myself. But just as I want to deepen it, she pulls back, resting her head against mine.

"There is something I need to tell you," she says all serious now, and I hope it's nothing dangerous.

"You can tell me anything," I tell her reassuringly. She smiles softly at me, cupping my face in her palms. They are warm, and comforting, and I close my eyes to savor this moment.

"Remember when we went to visit the fence, before Phase 1 concluded?" she asks, and I nod. I open my eyes to look into hers. "When we were up there on the fence, I heard this voice. It was like the one calling me before I got to the Pond of Knowledge. It was calling me to go somewhere. It's somewhere hidden in Amity, I know it," she says, and watches me carefully.

"I heard it too," I tell her. I never heard it before, but that day I could hear someone calling my name. I think, if it wasn't for the initiates there with me, I would have gone explore what that meant.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asks frustrated.

"Why didn't you?" I counter, and raise an eyebrow.

"Fine. Whatever. What should we do?" she asks.

"We can't go. It is too far away, and who knows where in Amity this mysterious voice is calling us from," I tell her, trying to convince her not to go. Who am I kidding? I can already see it in her eyes. We're as good as there, because there's no chance in hell I won't go with her. "Fine. But we wait till nightfall," I tell her, and her eyes sparkle in excitement. I hope we won't regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What did you think of Tris's confession? And the nickname?
> 
> What will Tris and Four find in Amity? And how are they going to deal with this prohibition?


	13. Midnight explorations

Tris's POV

I am so glad Tobias agreed to come with me to explore Amity. Ever since I heard that voice, I can't stop thinking about it. I never heard anyone else talk about another Calling after the Change. I doubt it is a trap. Who would be able to create a voice to call me or Tobias specifically, and not get heard by anyone else? No, this has something to do with our Gift. I know it. I just do.

Tobias knows every train in our city, and there is one that goes past the fence, and stops near the Amity compound. We take that one and arrive a little after eleven p.m. It is easy to sneak away, and the moment we are safely hidden from anyone's eyes, I hear the voice.

"Tris!"

"I can hear the voice," I tell Tobias in a whisper.

"I heard it too. It comes from there," he says, pointing south from where we are.

We start walking toward it, all the while hearing the voice in our heads. I can't help but feel giddy about it. Tobias grabbed my hand the moment we got off the train, and didn't let go once. I know he isn't quite convinced we will find something, but even he can't deny the voice we are hearing. It must mean something. Maybe it leads us to the Pond again or maybe you have to reach a certain level in your Gifted training to be called again for… I honestly don't know for what.

Tobias suggests maybe the Calling means to strip us of our powers, although that would be so anticlimactic. Why would we receive the Gift only to be stripped of our powers later? That doesn't make sense.

"Nothing makes sense," Tobias says with a groan.

"We'll be fine, babe. I can't believe the Pillars would give us a glimpse of their power only to take it away a moment later."

"If you say so," he replies in a low voice. I smile to myself.

The walk through Amity is tedious, especially since we can't see much. But we allow the voice to lead us, hoping we won't fall into some hole in the ground. Last time I did this I almost had a building burying me alive.

We must have been walking for an hour when we finally reach the outskirts of Amity. The land ahead is devoid of life, remnants of a war that killed millions, and led to the life we all know today. I look around, trying to figure out why this mysterious voice would lead us here, literally in the middle of nowhere. And then…

"Tris!" I hear the voice again. It sounded like it came from my left side. I look toward the general direction, and see a large plant or bush. We walk closer, and as we approach, the form of a cave opening appears. Okay, now we're definitely onto something. Tobias looks around for a moment, before he creates a small flame in the palm of his hand, holding said hand in front of him and illuminating the way into the cave.

We walk slowly inside, minding our steps. Tobias walks ahead, while still holding my hand firmly in his. It's not too tight, but he applies some pressure to it. I'm sure he doesn't even notice it. His palm is sweaty, and it reminds me of how he looked and felt during his fear landscape. And then it hits me. Fear of confinement. We are in a dark cave we've never been before, it's the middle of the night, and no one knows we're here. I stop dead in my tracks, causing Tobias to jerk backwards. He turns to look at me, and I can see the anxiety written all over his face.

"What is it?" he asks, taking a step closer to me. The path leads downward, and while I stand on higher ground than him, he is still taller than me. Usually, I get annoyed with the fact that others are taller, but with him I feel safe. I give him a shy smile.

"We should go back," I tell him. He looks at me confused, before turning his head back to the darkness ahead of us.

"Do you think it is a trap?" he asks concerned, before looking back at me. I shake my head. He frowns. "Then why?"

"It's your fear, Tobias. I don't want you to live through it again. We just were in your fear landscape," I tell him, and cup his face in my palm. He leans in, and smiles.

"I'll be fine. I have you with me. Besides, we both heard the voice. It's gotta mean something," he argues. A moment ago, he was all for going back. What changed? As if reading my mind, he smiles softly. "You were right, Tris. There is a reason why we heard this voice. I didn't know what to make of it. But now we're here, and I for one want to know what brought us here," he says confidently. I nod my head. I want to know just as much as he does. My only concern, however, is he. I don't want him to push himself. If we wouldn't have been in his fear landscape earlier I probably wouldn't be so reluctant.

Eventually, we continue our journey, and secretly I hope we will find something. I know Susan said she was in Amity when she heard the voice, but it wasn't so far away from the compound. At the thought of Susan, I get sad again. Mom promised to find out what happened to her, but so far she hasn't said anything. Must be because she hasn't found anything. If what my mother said on Choosing Day is true, then the Blacks were given memory serum to forget about Susan. But I can't believe whoever did this could erase her completely. I mean, I remember her, and so do my parents. I never asked Caleb, but he must remember her too. I wanted to investigate her disappearance myself, I owe it to her, she is my best friend. But mom advised me against it. I know she means well, especially with initiation still going on. But I need to find out what happened to my friend.

"Tris," I hear a voice, and when I look up I realize it's Tobias. I give him a quizzical look, and his eyes betray concern. "What happened? You were quiet, and when I tried to get a reaction out of you, you seemed far away," he says, cradling my face in his palms before placing a tender kiss to my lips. I melt against him, and immediately my arms snake around his waist, holding him tightly. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

"Tobias, I am worried about my friend," I tell him. I never got to tell him about Susan, with all that other shit going on. And frankly, with mom's promise to investigate, I tried to not let it consume me.

I tell him everything that happened on the day of my aptitude test, and how the next one no one remembered Susan. I also tell him my mother said that someone deliberately used that serum to cover their tracks, and I still don't know if Susan is still alive. I hope she is. But if what mom says is true, I wonder if being alive and experimented on is better than being dead. At least dead, no one can hurt her. I feel guilt bubble up again. I should have done something sooner, I shouldn't have waited.

"Tris, calm down. I think your mom's right. If someone went through the trouble to erase Susan from people's memories, that means they are powerful. It's not easy to obtain serums, even if you're Erudite. Your mom did the right thing. You are too emotional, and if someone gets wind of you, of the fact that you remember someone who supposedly never existed, that will make you a target. I promise, I will try to find something when we go back home. Alright?" he asks, and looks deep into my eyes. I now realize, I've been crying silently. The worry I pushed down, the anger, the confusion, all these emotions and more, are surfacing now, and I can't stop the tears from falling. Tobias pulls me in his arms, and holds me tightly. He whispers sweet nothings and words of reassurance into my ear, and I am deeply grateful for him. I still can't believe he loves me, but I am glad he does. I love him, and after learning all the things I did from his fear landscape I silently vow to make him happy, to erase the years of pain, hurt and suffering, and replace them with love, joy, and happiness. He deserves it, probably more than anyone I know.

It takes me a good few minutes to calm enough to continue our journey, thoughts of Susan and the uncertainty of her survival pushed back down. At least for now. We descend even further into the cave, and I wonder how much further until we find something. All these uncertainties, these questions, they all seem to have one thing in common: the gift. I often wondered why we were given these gifts. Why us? Why these powers? To what end? If any at all?

"Look," Tobias suddenly says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I look ahead, and see a surreal light shining down from up above. We take a few more steps until we are in a large, tall room, with a hole in the ceiling. I look up, and see the moon right above us. The moon casts the light, I realize. Tobias lets go of my hand, and goes to explore a little. I walk behind him, minding my steps, but with the extra light it's fairly easy to see obstacles in my way. I look around, and the room looks man-made, which is odd in a cave. Maybe someone sought refuge in here or it was a gathering place of some sort. The room is simple, octagonal in shape, at least twenty feet high. On the walls, I can see drawings, but the light in here makes it impossible to discern what they represent. We need to come back here during the day. Maybe even bring a flashlight or something.

I have adjusted my eyes enough to the light in the room, and dare to explore a little on my own, just walking along the wall. I watch as Tobias goes to leave the room.

"Where you're going?" I ask him confused. He turns around to look at me.

"There is another room. Stay here while I check it out," he says.

"Be careful." He nods. "Don't go too far, either." He nods again, and gives me a smile.

I watch him as he disappears in the darkness, and return to my own exploration. The entire room seems like a gathering place to me. But the lack of furniture of any kind leaves me wondering. I wish I could see the murals better. Maybe they could give us a clue as to what this place is. There is one part of the wall that is strongly illuminated by the moonlight, and I go to look at it. As I approach, I see the image of three people. They are as tall as the wall, but I can't see their faces. However, I can tell it's a woman, flanked by two men. They all hold their hands out, cradling together a large blue-green ball.

Earth! They're holding Earth.

I try to see more, but I can't. I lift myself off the ground, in an attempt to get a glimpse of their faces, but as I levitate in front of the woman's face, I realize their faces are erased. I can't tell if it was done deliberately or that time messed with the paint, but I can't see them anymore. I groan in frustration. I descend, and just as I think I will land on the ground, I land on a shelf-like structure, losing my balance and falling backwards on my butt, letting out a yelp. Moments later, Tobias comes back running, and kneels down next to me.

"Tris, are you okay? What happened?" he asks frantic.

"I checked out the painting, and when I came down I hit something, and fell," I tell him, turning slightly on my side, and rubbing my buttocks in an effort to ease the throbbing pain. Damn it!

"Let me help you up," he says, and before I can even open my mouth to protest, he picks me up in his arms, his left arm around my back, while the right one goes under my knees. I giggle as he holds me close to his chest, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"If I'd known I would be treated like royalty, I would have fallen on my butt sooner," I say jokingly. Even in the dimly lit room, I can see him roll his eyes. He kisses me softly on the lips, before helping me stand.

As I straighten myself, I look toward the place where I must have hit something and see a shelf. Just like I suspected. I ask Tobias to make some light, and once he does, I realize the shelf contains several scrolls, and a large book. I pull the latter out first, and look at it with curiosity. This book looks just like the one I've found a decade ago. It even has similar engravings in the front.

"What is it?" Tobias asks.

"A book," I answer absentmindedly.

"Obviously," he replies with a sarcastic undertone. I look at him, and his eyes betray his annoyance.

"I don't know. I just picked it up," I tell him suddenly pissed off. I decide to not start a fight with him, and open it. Inside, is a picture of a palace or something like that. I can't really tell. Unfortunately, the words written in this book are in a language I don't know. It is impossible to read it, let alone understand it.

"Have you ever seen anything like this before?" he asks, aware that I already know more about the ancient legends than he does. I quickly tell him about the book I found, and how it is still hidden underneath my bed in Abnegation. Maybe if we go get it, I could compare the writings in this book with the ones in the other. "We can't go to Abnegation tonight. It's almost two a.m., and we need to go back to Dauntless. We'll try another night, or better yet, after initiation," he says, leaving me no room to argue.

"I could ask my mom to bring it over," I tell him, looking up to see his handsome face.

"Visitation Day already passed," he says, checking his watch again. Come to think of it, I fully expected to see my parents, but none of them came. Dad promised me. But maybe he went to visit Caleb in Erudite. Or maybe they are just as scared as Hana, because of the things I can do. Or maybe they are upset… "Tris," I hear my name. I look up, and stare into Tobias's worried eyes.

"Huh?"

"You are mumbling again," he states matter-of-factly. "What is wrong with you?" he asks, his voice softer than before, and his hands go to cradle my face. I think for a moment if I should tell him my concerns, and when I hesitate for too long, he kisses my lips gently. "You can tell me." I nod my head.

"What if my parents regret letting me leave Abnegation, and that's why they didn't come visit me?" I ask, and allow another tear roll down my cheek. He kisses it away, and then looks at me again. His eyes are determined, his touch reassuring, his breath hot on my skin.

"I don't know why they didn't come, but I doubt it is because they resent you for leaving. You told me yourself your parents knew of your decision long before you even brought it up. There could be a million and one reasons why they didn't show, but I promise we'll find out. And if they have really forsaken you, which I honestly doubt, I will be your family," he vows.

I stare at him in wonder. He is so strong, so caring, so wonderful, that I ask myself what I ever did to deserve him. He already knows me better than anyone has ever before. He is more than just my boyfriend, he is my best friend. I can confide in him, and I am absolutely certain he will never tell another soul about it. I realize I've been quiet for too long.

"I'll be your family," I vow. He smiles happily, and I burn that image in my mind. That face, that smile, that happiness in his eyes, that's what I will fight to see every day. I don't know what tomorrow brings, or any foreseeable future, but as long as he is by my side I know I will not fail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, they found a temple. What does it mean? It seems that the more they find out, the complicater things get. And will Tobias be able to find out anythign about Susan? Is she still alive?


	14. Plotting for beginners

Tobias's POV

We returned in the morning hours from Amity, and I was absolutely exhausted. We had about three hours before I had to be in the fear landscape room. Thankfully, I am used to skipping sleep, and hope that a brief nap, and a very strong mug of black coffee will get me through the day.

Tris wanted to go to the dorm room, but I didn't want to hear it. She was just as tired as I was, and she needed her sleep. In her exhausted state, she wouldn't have been able to block a mouse, let alone the other transfers.

We entered my apartment, and without a second thought we both collapsed on my bed. It was weird at first, but then I spooned her, and she relaxed into my arms, falling into a deep sleep. I followed her shortly, not even giving a damn to pull a blanket over us.

A loud buzzing sound startled me awake, and I cursed under my breath. Forcing my tired eyelids open, I got a glimpse of the alarm clock on my nightstand, showing seven a.m. I had to get up, take a shower, eat something, and thought of actually plugging a coffee IV into my vein.

I hurried up, minding a still sleeping Tris, and within the hour I was in the fear landscape room. Before I left, I covered Tris, since it was chilly in my apartment, wrote down a note for her, and placed it on the nightstand next to the alarm clock. At least she could sleep in.

The morning passed extremely slow, and I still have so much work ahead. I decide to go check on Tris before heading to lunch, when Lauren suddenly stops me.

"Can we talk?" she asks. I groan. I want to say no, but it might be important. I nod my head. "Can we go somewhere private?" I don't know what to do. If I take her to my apartment, she might find Tris there. But if she wants to talk privately that means it must be because of our gifts. I finally tell her to come with me to my apartment, silently hoping that Tris is already up. A part of me even wishes for her to be gone.

"Why do you want me gone?" I hear Tris in my head, as we approach my apartment. At least she is awake.

"Lauren is with me. She needs to talk to me in private. I didn't know where else to go, and I sure as hell won't take her to the Chasm. That's our place," I tell her vehemently. I hear Tris chuckle.

"Should we tell her about us? She'll find out eventually, and she might even kill me for not telling her. She's been bugging me to get a boyfriend for a very long time."

"I don't know. What if she tells Hana?" I ask her, but I don't get a chance to hear her reply in my head, since she opens my apartment door.

"Hey Lauren," Tris says cheerful. I look from my girlfriend to Lauren, who looks at Tris shocked, before a wide grin splits her face. Lauren walks past me, and enters my apartment, hugging Tris tightly, whispering something in her ear that I can't hear. The girls giggle, and then both look at me.

"You gonna stand there all day, Four?" Lauren asks. I enter, and close the door behind me. I offer Lauren to sit at the small table I have, but since I only have two chairs, I offer the second one to Tris. She declines, but suggests I should sit, and let her sit in my lap. I agree immediately, enjoying the idea of having her so close to me. I've missed her the entire morning.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask my friend, and fellow instructor. She looks from me to Tris, and then back to me. "Whatever it is, your secret is safe with us," I tell her reassuringly.

"I know. Tris, I wanted to say I'm sorry for a long time," she starts, but Tris shakes her head.

"Will you allow me to see your thoughts and memories?" Tris asks politely. I look at her a little surprised, but don't say anything. Lauren thinks for a moment, and then nods her head. Tris reaches out her hand, and Lauren places hers in Tris's smaller palm. I watch as Tris's eyes start glowing golden, and a moment later she breaks the connection. "I understand. Thank you for your love and loyalty, Lauren. It means the world to me." I watch them, still flabbergasted, and when they notice, Tris smiles. "I know how hard it is for Lauren to tell me things she thinks might hurt me. But I needed to know everything she does," Tris explains, but I am even more confused.

She lets Lauren explain to me the situation. It appears, Hana is even more aggressive about excluding Tris from the group, and making her look like a liability. In fact, Hana's entire argument oscillates between Tris is a liability and Tris is the enemy. I don't know what has happened to Hana to think that of Tris. I know my girlfriend can be impulsive and reckless at times, a loudmouth and a smartass, but she would never put any of us in danger, much less attack us or risking exposing us. I know that firsthand. When Peter, Drew and Al attacked her, wanting to push her into the Chasm, she fought them using only her Dauntless training. Not once did she use her powers. She could have levitated out of the Chasm, but that would have meant her exposure. No, Hana is wrong.

"I know for a fact that dad, Dwayne, Tori and James start to second guess Hana and her reasoning," Lauren says, letting all she said so far sink in.

"I just don't understand what her problem is," I say frustrated.

"That person isn't Hana," Tris declares, and we stare at her.

"What makes you say that?" Lauren asks confused. I have to admit I am just as confused.

"It's my gut feeling. I've known Hana my whole life. This isn't her. Something must have happened to her. Her entire reaction to this situation originates in her fear. The real question is, what does she fear?" Tris asks.

"She is afraid of you, of course," Lauren says. It is true, Tris is powerful, and she possesses a rigorous discipline I rarely saw in anyone. She is committed, and won't stop until she masters whatever task she has in front of her.

"I can't believe that. Any one of the three of us could be extremely dangerous under certain conditions. And so can others. Why me? It just doesn't make sense. I don't know what happened to her, but that's not the Hana I know and love. And I promise you, I will get her back," Tris vows. I wish it was that simple. I wish she was right. I wish something possessed Hana, because it is hard for me to believe that the woman who treated me like her son for the past two years, who took me in, loved me, cared for me, and was just the mother I never had, but prayed to have one day would turn out to be this unforgiving maniac.

"There's more," Lauren tells us. I dread her next words. "I eavesdropped on her telling Zeke that if all fails, and they couldn't convince the rest of us to combine our powers to defeat you, they needed to kill you when you are at your most vulnerable." At that I jump up, forgetting completely that Tris was still sitting in my lap.

"WHAT?" I almost yell. I can't believe Hana would even think of that, let alone instigate her son to commit murder. What the hell happened to her?

"Four, calm down," I hear Tris's voice, and look at her. Her expression is serious, but there is a kindness in her gaze that makes me calm down a little. I turn my body completely so that I face hers, and pull her into my arms. I can't lose her. She is the most precious thing in my life.

"I won't let them hurt you. I will kill them myself," I vow.

"You will do no such thing," Tris protests, and pushes herself out of my arms. I frown at her, and she looks up at me with a fire in her eyes I only see when she has made up her mind about something. "I won't let you kill anyone," she promises, and pushes me slightly. I sit back down, and she stands between my open legs. She cups my face in her palms, leans down, and kisses me softly. "I love you," I hear her say in my head. I melt against her.

"I love you, too," I think.

"I don't want to rain on your parade, guys," we hear Lauren say. We both part, and look toward our friend. Lauren has a smug grin on her face, and leans against the table. Tris resumes her seat in my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist, and bury my face in her neck. I don't care that we have company, I just need her. "You guys are so cute together," Lauren chimes in.

"Shut it already," Tris says jokingly. "Seriously now. No one goes to kill Hana or Zeke. Zeke is clearly believing his mother. And why wouldn't he? As for Hana, whatever happened to her this is definitely not her. She would never even think of killing anyone, let alone plot it. No, something is up, and it is our duty to find out what. I won't ask anyone to switch sides, because in my opinion there shouldn't be sides whatsoever. We are all Dauntless, all gifted. We need to stick together. I know Hana tells you guys to lay low, but that's absurd. This attitude will get you killed."

"I know. That's what I've been saying. Zeke immediately shut me down, but I could see the others started wondering if Hana's strategy is of any use. We stopped training altogether, and Hana even went so far as to prohibit us to use our powers. I mean, who does she think she is?" Lauren asks angry. I understand that. I would be angry too if someone told me to just stop being me.

"Calm down," Tris tells her. "Whatever demon possessed Hana to change into this crazy person, it won't help any of us if we lose our cool. We need to be smart about what we want to do next."

"When did you get so smart?" Lauren asks with a smirk. Tris just chuckles, and tells her that we all need to meet.

We tell Lauren that Marlene and Uriah switched to our side, and yesterday even came to see us. But as we talk some more, I realize the other initiates with gifts might turn away from Hana too.

We decide to meet with everyone interested in hearing our side of things late tonight outside of the compound. Tris seems to know exactly where Lauren proposed this meeting, and I wonder momentarily how. Nevertheless, I don't ask her.

The moment Lauren leaves my apartment, I lock the door, and take two huge steps toward Tris, enveloping her in my arms. I need to feel her close to me, safe in my arms, where she is loved. I kiss her deeply, and let myself calm down to the point I actually break the kiss to yawn.

"Am I boring you?" she teases.

"You are the most boring person I know," I tease her back. She laughs, and it is music to my ears. I never want to see her sad again, but I know that's wishful thinking. Nevertheless, I will do my best to make her happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so, Lauren knows, and she's okay with FourTris. Will others be just like her? If Uriah and Marlene were an indication, than the answer is probably obvious. Nevertheless, Tobias and Tris keep wondering about that. And Hana... really? Murder? What is wrong with her?


	15. No plan without surprises

Tris's POV

We waited until after nightfall to leave the compound. Lauren told Tobias that she would take the others to the secret meeting place, and we'll meet up with them there. We walk in complete silence, the gravity of the situation weighing down heavy on us.

Tobias hasn't let go of my hand ever since we walked out of Dauntless. I know he is worried, and I am tempted to read his mind to see what he thinks. But I won't do it. I am not going to violate his privacy just because I am curious. If and when he's ready he will tell me. After all, he trusted me with his most guarded secret, his identity. On the other hand, I want to help him put his mind at ease. The problem is, my own mind is completely paralyzed by all these new developments. Some of them are good, others are completely messed up.

We arrive at the meeting place, and I guide Tobias inside. He has never been here, I can tell by the way he looks around curiously, trying to figure out what his eyes are seeing, but his mind can't understand.

"What is this place?" he finally breaks his silence, and asks.

"It's a theater. Before the war, people came here to watch movies. Lauren and I found it about two years ago. We were planning to use it for this year's Haunted House," I say, and without realizing it I just revealed our secret.

"What?" he asks, stopping abruptly, and pulling me back a little. I turn to look at him, and can barely see his face. The torch we brought with us only gives us enough light to see a path ahead of us, but not much more. "Haunted House?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. He doesn't seem upset, just surprised.

"Uh, yeah," I say, hoping he won't insist on more details. But instead, he stares at me, patiently waiting for me to continue. "Well, you see, it's funny really," I start saying, and laugh a little, but he doesn't move a muscle. I hang my head. "Fine. It was kind of a surprise. But whatever. I'll tell you everything, but let's go to where we'll meet the others." He nods, and follows me into one of the screening rooms that has only a few seats left.

As expected, we are the first ones to arrive, and I guide him toward the seats that are next to each other. He sits down, getting somewhat comfortable, and looks my way, awaiting my explanation. I take a deep breath. I remind myself, this is Tobias. My boyfriend. The guy I love, the guy who loves me back. It'll be fine. Besides, it's nothing dangerous. A bit reckless, crazy definitely, terrifying and gore-filled sure. Maybe he won't like it that much after all.

"Tris?" I hear his voice. I look up, and see his worried eyes. "You zoned out," he tells me, before cupping my face and placing a soft kiss to my lips. I sigh when he applies a little bit of pressure, and as I open my mouth to let him slip in, we hear someone cough.

"Dating the instructor, tsk, tsk," I hear Christina's voice. I look up at her, mortified that she saw us. More importantly, shocked to see her here. I look behind her, and find other people as well.

Lauren steps forward, placing three large torches in the middle of the room, asking us to come closer. As I look around, I see several people are here. Not surprised to see Uriah, Marlene, and Lauren, I let my eyes look over every other face in the room. Lynn, Will, and Christina are here, as well as Tori and Dwayne, and James and Harrison. Lauren told Tobias and me that they started second guessing Hana, but I didn't think they would actually be here.

"You need to say something," Lauren urges. "Explain." I nod my head.

"It's not what it looks like," I say, and look pointedly to my fellow initiates. "Four and I started seeing each other, yeah, but he isn't helping me in any way. I swear. We just," I say, and don't know if I should tell them we are in love yet. Although, Marlene already knows, and she and Uriah were okay with that. But the others might not be. Fuck!

"Be brave!" I hear Tobias whisper in my ear, and a shiver runs down my spine. I nod my head again.

"We fell in love. Okay? It's not unheard of. So, back off!" I say a little loud. Silence follows. I look from them to Tobias, who gives me a shy smile, before I hear someone clapping. It's not an enthusiastic clapping, more like sarcastic. I turn my attention to the person making the sound and see Lynn.

"Marvelous speech, Stiff. No one cares if you shag Four. We aren't here because of that," Lynn says, and Uriah busts out laughing, followed shortly by the others.

"Okay, guys, calm down," we hear Harrison. The group calms down, and I am thankful this place is in semi-darkness, because otherwise everyone would see how red I am right now. "Tris, I am happy you and Four are in love, and we trust that Four would never help you cheat your way up the rankings," he says, but his face stays serious as he gives Tobias a look. I can only assume he meant by it to say "you better not". From the corner of my eye, I see Tobias nod in agreement. "We are here because of this awkward situation we are in."

One by one, each of them tells us what went on after first I, and then Tobias stopped coming to the meetings in the secret training room. The initiates complain about the fact that they could have learned so much by now, if Hana wouldn't have stopped them from practicing. James and Dwayne too are frustrated with her sudden take-over, and can't understand why she out of nowhere decided she is our leader.

Tori tells us how Hana always urges the other Gifted to see me for what I truly am: a dangerous liability that needs to be eliminated. I can see that Uriah's usual demeanor is replaced by a somber one. I can't imagine hearing all this negativity directed toward his mother being an easy thing for him to hear. I feel for him, but we need to find solutions right now.

The cherry on top is when Lauren tells them about the conversation she overheard, about Hana urging Zeke to kill me.

"I can't believe that," Uriah finally shouts. I can't believe it either, but I've see the memory in Lauren's mind. She neither faked it nor did she mishear. It's true, no matter how much it pains me to admit it.

"Are you saying I'm lying," Lauren asks angry.

"Enough!" I shout. "Uriah, Hana is to me like a second mother. I know how you feel. I also know Lauren speaks the truth," I say, and he scoffs. He turns around and starts pacing. I let him. It's the frustration. I think deep down he knows it's true, and it scares him. Until now, we all hoped it was just stress that made Hana say and do the things she did. But not anymore. We can't ignore the changes. We can't ignore the threat she poses. It's ironic, really. How she wants to make me look like the dangerous one, when she plots to kill me using any means necessary.

"I can't believe she would ask her own son to commit murder," Harrison says. They all start talking again, and I have to raise my voice again to make them stop.

"Let us be honest with each other," I tell them, and see some of them nod. "Hana is right about one thing. I am powerful, more powerful than any of you. And I am not sure you could defeat me even if you combine powers. I am not saying this to scare you or to brag. It's just a fact. The reason I am strong, is because I embrace this second nature, I nurture it, and don't let it scare me. But it does scare me a little. When my powers first started to show, I knew, and so did Hana as a matter of fact, that I needed to work twice as hard as any of you to be able to control it. She created time bubbles, as you know by now, allowing me to both practice and rest, without harming anyone around me. For the first three weeks that's what I did on a daily basis. If I'd sum up the hours I've spend in time bubbles to practice my powers I can honestly say I had at least two months of practice in the bank. Nothing I accomplished came to me just because. I worked hard, and then worked some more even harder. I had to do that. Every time I was too tired, I felt my control slip. Imagine I stopped practice. Just imagine for a moment," I tell them, and they remain silent. Obviously, they don't know what would have happened. "You think I want to read your minds?" I ask. They remain silent. "I don't. But when I lose control, I open the door to my brain to all your thoughts. It is painful, and it drains me of energy. I am working every single day to be able to control my power even when I am asleep, and I managed to do that so far. What if I didn't?" I ask, and once again silence. "The voices in my head would multiply, would drive me insane. When that happens, I won't be able to control my mind from moving objects. I don't even want to know what the worst thing is that could happen, and I have no intention of finding out. This is why I need to practice, and stay in control. And so do you. Not practicing will get you killed. I know Hana said to lay low. But that won't guarantee your safety. I hate to do this, but I have to. Amar Curtis, George Wu, and Carol Smith: these are just three names of those who laid low, and got killed. Sooner or later, those who hunt us will find us. It'll be sooner if we show ourselves. It will be difficult for them if we can control our powers. And while Hana makes me look like the dangerous one, I am not the one who makes people cry out of nowhere because she has a toothache. I am not the one who accidentally derailed a train. I am not the one who caused a raging thunderstorm last week because she was sad. I am not the one who turns invisible when she sneezes. And the list goes on really. All I wanted during those training sessions is for you to see how I managed to control my powers, and hoped it will be helpful to you. I never appointed myself leader or something," I tell them getting angrier. "I honestly don't care if you agree with me or not. I am not asking you to choose my side. I might be the youngest, I might be the one who got her powers last, but I am also the one who worked constantly to improve, the one who didn't slack off. If you choose to stay on Team Hana, do it. But stay the hell away from me then. Because from now on, everyone on her side will be monitored by me. I won't allow her to," I say, but then an image appears in my head.

It's the dorm room. Everyone is asleep. I am walking through the rows of beds with sleeping figures inside it. It's so dark, you can barely see. I am walking toward my bunk. What is this? I've never experienced anything like this before. I hold something in my hand. What is it? I can't see. I look down at the bed. It appears someone is in there, but it's not me. And then I feel a hand rush down toward the bed, stabbing the figure with a knife. I gasp. I am pulled out of whatever that was, and I fall to the ground. I hear voices, but they sound so far away. Someone is holding me, but I can't tell who it is. What happened? What was that?

"Beatrice!" I hear someone call my name over and over again. I look up, and see my mother. This can't be. I haven't seen her in weeks. What is she doing here? Where is here? Where am I? But I can't move. I can't speak. Darkness falls.

When I open my eyes again, I am in one of my nightmares.

Fire.

Everywhere.

Where am I? What is this place?

"You have to do it! Now!" I hear a voice. Tobias. He stands right in front of me. His face looks much older than he actually is. There is a large bruise on his right temple, and blood running down his face on the left side. He is injured. How did he get injured? "Do it, my love. It's the only way." I feel tears running down my cheeks, my head shaking, and then a kiss. A last kiss. I feel myself move without detaching my mouth from his, a terrible ache in my heart, a despair in my soul like I've never felt before. And then, his body slumped against me, falling to the ground as I raise the sword I used to kill him with. I killed Tobias. I've killed him.

I scream.

Two strong arms hold me tightly. I struggle, but then hear Tobias speak into my ear to calm down. I am shaking with fear, anger, and confusion. What happened? What did I do?

"Tris, it's me," he keeps telling me. I grab onto him, and the images of my nightmare come flooding back into my head. "Shh, love. I'm here. You are alright. You didn't kill me. It was just a dream," he tells me. I force my gaze to find his, a curtain of tears blocking my vision. He gently kisses my mouth, before kissing my forehead, and pulling me back into his arms where I sob like a little girl. I don't understand. "You've had a nightmare. I am here. I am alive. You didn't kill me."

"It felt so real," I say in a whisper.

"I know. But you are alright. We are both alright," he tells me reassuringly.

It takes me a long while to calm down, and I am grateful he has the patience to hold me while I am broken down. He keeps rocking us, whispering into my ear how much he loves me, and how he'll always protect me. He tells me that while I was dreaming I connected my mind to his, and he could see bits and pieces of my nightmare. When I finally calm down enough, he explains that my mother teleported into the theater together with Johanna, and now all of us are in Amity. I am stunned. I didn't expect this turn of events. I ask him to help me up. I need to talk to the others.

Together, we walk outside hand in hand, and I watch as every pair of eyes turns to looks at us. My mother jumps up from her seat next to Lauren, and comes rushing toward me, wrapping me in her arms. I let go of Tobias's hands to wrap my own arms around her, and relish in the feeling of having my mommy back. How I've missed her!

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" she asks, kissing my temple, and then looking me straight in the eyes. I nod my head, and take a seat on one of the chairs. Tobias stands behind me, holding me by my shoulders, while mom sits in the chair next to me, after Dwayne offered it to her.

They quickly tell me what happened after I collapsed. My mother had a vision of someone killing me with a gun, and because she knew Hana wouldn't be much of a help, and Uncle Bud didn't answer his phone, mom called Harrison, and he told her where they were heading. By the time mom arrived with Johanna's help, the attack did already happen, albeit a bit different than she foresaw.

"Hang on. How do you know that?" I ask confused.

"Hana attacked you or thought she attacked you. The part where your bed is, is partly obscured due to a broken light bulb. After Lauren told us she overheard Hana's conversation with Zeke, I decided to hide a camera that would surveil your bunk 24/7," Tobias tells us, and I look up to stare at him.

"Did you plan on telling me that?" I ask in my head, and he looks away sheepishly. "We'll talk about this later," I tell him. "So, I saw Hana walk toward my bunk and stab me," I think to myself.

"What?" mom asks, noticing my silence.

"Before I fainted, I guess," I say, and she nods, "I saw something through someone else's eyes. This never happened before, and I didn't know what to make of it. I was walking through the dorm, until I reached my bunk. I knew I was holding something in my hand, but couldn't see what it was. When I started stabbing something, I was pulled out, and collapsed. I guess, I saw through Hana's eyes, because before I was taken there, I thought of her, and how important it has become to read her mind."

"My poor baby. I'm so glad you weren't in that bed," mom says, pulling me into another hug. It's a bit awkward, since we're both sitting.

"You'll sleep in my apartment from now on," Tobias suddenly says. I look at him, suddenly very much aware that my mom is here, and she doesn't know he is my boyfriend, and I don't know if she remembers him from when he still lived in Abnegation.

"I think that's a good idea," mom says, completely surprising me. I turn my gaze to her, a serious expression hardening her features. "Four," she says emphasizing the nickname. She must know who he really is. "He told me about your relationship, and I trust he will be respectful," she adds, and looks at my boyfriend.

"Of course, Mrs. Prior. I love Tris, and I would never do anything to hurt her," he vows. My heart is pounding. Not only does my mom know I have a boyfriend, but she basically encouraged us to live together, giving us her blessing in a way, while Tobias takes it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. How long was I out? Is the Earth rotating backwards?

"That's all nice and good, but we still need some ideas to deal with Hana," Tori says, suddenly making me realize there was a reason to our reunion.

"Right," I say and stand up. "Listen up. Things changed since the beginning of initiation. I gave all this a lot of thought. Before I tell you what I have in mind, I need to ask you one simple question." I look around, and let them nod or vocalize their approval. "Do you trust me?" Silence. That's not promising.

"I do," Tobias and mom say at the same time. I look from one to the other and smile. That's a start.

"Me too," Christina says, and soon all of them confirm my hope.

"What's the plan, kiddo?" Harrison asks with a kind smile.

"Things have gotten complicated to the point we don't even know what's what anymore. We need to sort our problems out. Attack each enemy one at a time," I start saying, and of course someone thinks it's time to interrupt me.

"More than one?" James asks.

"Here's the deal. I tell you my plan, and what needs to be done, and you all zip it," I say irritated. I don't wait for them to nod their approval, and continue. "First, Four will change places with Max. Lauren, Four and I will march tomorrow morning into Max's office, and request that Jackson is present too. Four will explain to his fellow leaders that he started having feelings for me, but don't tell them we are in love," I say, and look directly at Tobias. "Make them see that you don't want to be unethical, and step down from being our instructor. It won't be a problem, because (a) you come clean, and (b) you didn't influence the rankings, and they know it. Plus, I'll be there to keep their minds on the right track. Lauren will offer to do Four's job too, but Four will suggest that it would look good to the faction if one leader is overseeing the whole process. One of Jackson's conditions will be that once initiation is over, Four and I will come clean as to why this change happened, but we'll be backed by Max and Jackson. Mason and Eric can't do shit about it, because between Max, Jackson and Four, they outvote the other two."

"How do you plan on convincing Max to do all this?" Lauren asks, and I frown.

"Didn't I ask for you to shut up?" I ask her irritated.

"Well, excuse me, Miss Chief Strategist. Not all of us can read minds," Lauren replies snippy.

"Girls, enough!" Harrison's voice booms. We both shut up. He always had that dad aura around him that made us quit whatever shit we did. Especially, when said shit led to us fighting. "Go on, Tris."

"As I was saying before, I will be there. I managed in the past to, how shall I say this? I managed to make them reconsider certain strategies they had."

"You mean, you manipulated them," mom says. Her tone is a mix of astonishment and reproach. I know mom doesn't like it when I do something I'm not supposed to, but it was necessary.

"Mrs. Prior, if I may," Tobias says, and everyone looks at him. "At the beginning of initiation, I was informed that only ten initiates would become members. It was a terrible idea, but I was in no position then to change that. I later found out that Tris had been following around Jackson and Max and planted the idea in their heads that cutting initiates is wrong. Eventually, they gave in, and when I joined leadership we outvoted those who wanted to kick out the majority of the initiates. I don't approve of her method, but it had a happy ending," he says, finishing up. I watch as mom smiles at him, and gives him a nod.

"Thanks for having my back," I say sarcastically. He rolls his eyes.

"It was necessary."

"Can we move on?" I ask, and then continue. "It's not like I change who they are. They are susceptible to ideas that appeal to them or make more sense to them. I will read their minds to see what they really think of our romance, and if they have any doubts about anything I'll let you know," I say looking at Tobias, "so that you can put their minds at ease, as I plant the idea that this is a good thing in their heads."

"That sounds so creepy," James says.

"But it's necessary. As long as Hana wants to kill me, I am in danger. And I thought about what Lauren said, about Hana waiting until I am at my weakest. When I sleep, that's when I'm at my weakest."

"That's what I thought too. That's why I put the camera up," Tobias tells me, looking pointedly at me. I know this is his way of saying 'don't be mad'. Yeah, yeah. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. He frowns. Damn it! How do I always slip and let him hear my thoughts? I gotta control this better.

"In any case, I doubt they would throw a tantrum. Especially, since in their eyes you are an asset, and seem to be on board with them. The fact that we come forward without anything to force us to will show them how much you care about their opinion. I learned that from dad," I say, when people look at me shocked.

"Speaking of, don't tell your dad about all this. He'll worry too much," mom says. I nod my head.

"But Four not training the initiates anymore will also allow him to resume his investigation. Something is going on with Erudite. Four showed me how every morning they bring in computers and vials of a serum, but so far we have no clue what all that's for or where they're hiding it. I need you," and point my finger at Harrison, Dwayne, James and Tori, "to listen to Dauntless members about strange things going on, respectively watching out on cameras if anything suspicious happens. As for the initiates," I say and look toward my friends, "I absolutely do not share Hana's view about training your powers. There's no such thing as safety as long as there are killers out there to get us. If we slack off, we are guaranteed to be killed or even experimented on. I for one don't care for either. If you want to train with me, fine. If not, that's your decision. I won't force you. But you can't expect anyone to come and save you, if you yourselves don't do shit about it." I let that all sink in.

I sit back down, as they all start talking amongst themselves, occasionally asking me questions for clarification. I answer as best as I can, and try to make them see the necessity of each task. I thought long about it, and until now I didn't have the manpower to pull this off. I knew they couldn't just blindly follow Hana without even once asking themselves if this was right or wrong. Fortunately, they came to their senses. Hopefully, we will be able to find out what happened to her, and figure out a way to get the old Hana back.

"I didn't know Johanna would be having company," I hear a voice. I know the voice. It's Robert Black. I look around to see where he might be, but he isn't here. "Who are all these people?" he asks in his mind. Where the heck is he? I look around the group of people I'm with, but I can't seem to find Robert. My eyes land on Johanna, who is petting a tabby cat. It can't be. Well, there's only one way to find out. I use my mind to lift the cat off of Johanna's lap, and surely enough, Robert starts to panic. "What the hell? What is going on?"

"If you don't want me to strangle you, you turn into yourself this instant," I tell the cat, as I bring it in front of me. I can see realization filling the cat's eyes, and I am positive, this is Robert Black. Son of a bitch, he's a shapeshifter.

I let the cat fall, and before he even touches the floor, Robert Black takes the cat's place.

"Talk!" I say, giving my old neighbor a murderous look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Haunted House - I gave that a lot of thought regarding Tris's dauntlessly background, and a good way to involve Lauren in her past. More about in a chapter further down the line.
> 
> Hana tried to kill Tris. Hm. What has gotten her so desperate?
> 
> And then, Robert Black. He is a shapeshifter. Who would have thought?
> 
> How will Max and Jackson react to Four's confession? What will happen with Tris and her initiation? Will people accept the new situation?


	16. Touch and go

Tobias's POV

We all watch in awe as suddenly a man appears out of nowhere. I only saw Tris standing up, and then talking to the cat, but I couldn't hear quite well because James was asking me something.

"Robert?" I hear Mrs. Prior ask. I look toward the man again, and recognize Robert Black. He is two years younger than me, and I remember him from school. Hang on! Susan Black. He is Tris's friend's brother. Did he transfer to Amity?

Put on the spot, Robert is forced to tell how after he joined Amity, he heard the Calling, and received his gift. It was because of Johanna that he learned how to control his power, and how to nurture it. Just like Tris, Johanna understands the necessity of being in control instead of doing nothing, and risking getting caught.

"So, you are a shapeshifter," Harrison concludes when Robert finishes with his story. He only nods.

"I decided not to take him to Dauntless for that training, because of the subtle changes I saw in Hana," Johanna tells us.

"Good. She doesn't have to know about Robert," Tris says confidently. Knowing her well by now, I can almost see the gears in her head turn.

"What are you thinking?" I ask her in my mind.

"His gift can come in handy, but he needs to be in better control of it. Although, he seems to be a natural," Tris replies in my head.

"There's something else," he says, and comes to stand in front of Tris. He bends down, and I almost think he wants to kiss her, when he whispers something in her ear. Her eyes go wide, and she stares at him in shock. Her gaze shifts slightly toward me, but then returns to Robert.

"Where is he now?" she asks Robert, and I wonder who she means.

"I can call him. He'll be here in a moment," Robert says smirking. Who'll be here in a moment?

"Call him," Tris says frustrated. Did they talk privately in their minds? What the hell is going on?

I watch as Robert asks Johanna to let him use her phone, and exits the room. The others start talking among themselves, while Tris comes to pull me into the corner of the room.

"What's going on?" I ask her.

"There is another gifted," she starts saying, but looks around. It seems she doesn't want the others to hear this. "Robert found the temple," she continues in my mind. I give her a surprised look, and she continues. "The person he is calling was there when he went to visit the temple almost a week ago."

"Who is this other person?" I ask her in my head.

"Jack Kang, one of Candor's leaders. Robert told me he can create passages, like wormholes," she tells me, and just then, in the middle of the room a large golden circle appears, and as I look closer a man steps through it. The man is dressed in Candor black and white, and seems an authority figure.

"Jack?" Johanna asks flabbergasted. The golden circle disappears, allowing everyone to see the newcomer.

"Hello Johanna," he politely says. "From your reaction I gather young Mr. Black here didn't inform you about our acquaintance," he says, and looks toward Robert.

The young Amity explains how it was really an accident that they met. He starts talking about the temple, but by the surprised looks on everyone's faces I can see that the temple only calls to certain individuals. It makes me wonder even more why we heard it, and others didn't. Jack takes over, telling us how he received his gift when he was thirteen, and demonstrates how it works. He asks Robert to go into the other room, and then he creates the same golden circle. Standing tall like a hoop placed vertically, the circle not only allows a grown person to walk through it, but gives us a glimpse of what I assume is Johanna's kitchen.

"Can you create passages like this one anywhere?" Mrs. Prior asks.

"Yes. It is easier if I've been there, but a good description of the place should also help me," he says, though he seems unsure.

"What about that temple?" James asks. Robert looks toward Tris, and she nods. I don't know why he looked at her, but I don't like it. Why is he glancing at my girlfriend? Is he interested in her? They did grow up in Abnegation, but she is Dauntless now. And she's taken.

"Will you calm down?" Tris says irritated. I look toward her, and a deep scowl makes her look older. I try to act innocently, but she doesn't buy it.

While Robert and Jack tell the others more about the temple, Tris pulls me outside until we are out of earshot. She goes to lean against a large tree and I stand in front of her, towering. I lean my arms against the trunk, leaving her no room to escape. Although, I doubt she would.

"What is going on with you? Your thoughts keep pushing through my barrier. Do you want me to read your mind?" she asks confused. I am a bit shocked. I know that when she is very tired or stressed she slips, but this is the first time I hear her say that I force my way into her head. "Don't tell me you are jealous," she says, quirking an eyebrow. I remain silent. "Honey, come on," she continues exasperated. "Robert? That's bothering you?" I shrug. "Tobias," she says my name in a whisper. "I love you. I don't care about anyone else." I smile at her. I'll never get tired of hearing those words coming from her.

"I love you, too. I know I shouldn't worry. I don't know why I freaked out," I tell her honestly.

"You are tired. And with all this shit going on, your mind is overworked. You need to rest," she says, her voice soft. She reaches out to cup my face, and I take a step closer to her. My arms snake around her, pulling her flush against me. Her arms go around my neck, and we hold each other close.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into her hair.

"It's okay. But trust me. I only want you," she promises. I nod, and then kiss her crown.

"I only want you," I promise her. "Is it wrong for me to wish we were alone?" I ask, and she chuckles.

"Not at all. And with the recent spree of wanna-be murderers out to get me, I think I'll just barricade myself inside your apartment," she says jokingly, but there is nothing funny about it. I could have lost her. I pull her tighter to me, and silently vow to protect her.

"I don't want to be the bitch in this little love scene," we hear Lauren say, and turn to look at her. "But you guys should come back inside."

"Why?" I ask a little snippy. Lauren only grins at my reaction.

"They all want to go check out this temple. I think we need a Dauntless leader to put his foot down," she adds smirking. I nod, and we go back inside.

Upon entering Johanna's little house, I can hear everyone talking over the other, none of them making sense.

"Hey!" I shout, but nothing. "Shut up!" I shout louder, my Four mask firmly in place. I watch as they ignore me. Tris chuckles to herself. "What the hell?" I ask frustrated, but only Tris can hear me. I watch my girlfriend as she takes a step closer toward the group of very loud people.

"Silence," she says softly, and the noise stops. They all try to talk by the movements their mouths make, but no sound comes out. In her mind, Tris tells me she is manipulating their minds into thinking they've lost their voices, when instead it is just fake. I grin. Everyone else looks at Tris panicked. "I will give you your voices back if you promise to stop shouting," she tells them slowly, so that there isn't any doubt of her intentions. They nod their heads, but instead of giving them back their voices, she continues. "It is too late to go to the temple. We will all go, but after initiation. Whatever that place is, it's connected to us, and I would like all of us to be present when we explore it. Also, it'll be a lot easier to do during daylight. Understood?" she asks, and I see a few of them wanting to protest. "Did you tell them how to get to the temple," she asks Jack and Robert. They both shake their heads. "Good. Promise me you won't show them." They both nod in acknowledgement. "We'll go after initiation. End of discussion," she tells them sternly, and gives them their voices back. They want to protest again, but she only lifts her finger as a warning.

"Johanna, could you teleport us back?" I ask the Amity leader.

"Perhaps, I can help you," Jack offers, and I nod. I decide to explain how to take us to the roof where the initiate entrance is, instead of explaining how to get into my apartment. I really don't need anyone barging in on me or Tris.

Tris goes to hug her mom goodbye, tell her she loves her, and that they will be in touch. To my surprise, Mrs. Prior also comes to hug me, and ask me to take care of her daughter. It warms my heart that she trusts me to take care of her daughter. I was secretly scared that Tris's parents might resent me because of what Marcus told them about me, but Mrs. Prior seems to know exactly who I am, and still put her faith in me.

Stepping through the golden circle, we come out on the roof where it all started. This time, Tris stays back, allowing others to jump first. I watch as Christina is the first jumper this time around, and then soon the others follow. Tris and I stay back with Jack, wanting to give him a proper goodbye.

I am the first to shake Jack's hand, and then Tris goes to shake it. But when they touch, I watch with stupor as both their eyes shine golden, and they seem to be in a trance. When they finally part, something like getting struck by lightning, I catch Tris to steady her, as she pants heavily. She looks at Jack flabbergasted, who has a similar expression on his face.

"What happened?" I ask concerned.

"I don't know," Tris says, looking up at me, her eyes wide in confusion.

"Did that ever happen to you before?" I ask Jack, and he nods.

"It was when I first met Robert. We too shook hands and then had a similar vision to the one I shared with Tris just now. I saw three children, all lying on a rooftop, gazing at the stars," he tells us.

"Were they the same children we just saw?" Tris asks, regaining some of her composure. Jack nods. As if sensing my question, Tris continues. "I saw two boys running around, while the girl with them was gathering flowers." I smile at her, but I can't really mask my concern. "Jack? Could you please bring Robert here? I want to see if I get another vision touching his hand," Tris says. For a brief moment, jealousy overcomes me, but I calm down when I feel Tris's lips on my jawline. I hold her close to me, and we wait for Jack to bring Robert here. The former must have informed the younger man about what has happed, because he immediately stretches out his hand for Tris to touch. The same thing happens again, and a moment later, they part. "Same children, a bit older, studying," Tris says pensively.

"I don't know what this means, but it only happened with you, and only the first time we touched," Jack says a little frustrated. As if to check his words, Tris reaches out to touch Robert, then Jack. Nothing happens.

"Maybe there's an answer in the temple," Robert suggests.

"Maybe. But for now we'll leave it at that," Tris says with a finality that leaves no room for argument. Without actually wanting it, Tris turned into our leader. She is strong, confident, smart, kind, and has a natural affinity to lead people. I am very proud of her. If she ranks high enough, she could choose a leadership job, and maybe even become a Dauntless leader one day. She sure has all the qualities to be one.

After the two men disappear through the passage, Tris takes my hand and walks toward the edge of the building. Looking down, I feel my heart pounding against my chest, my breathing becoming erratic, and my palms sweating. Fear of heights. Despite the fact that I know there is a net down there, I can't help my anxiety.

"Be brave," Tris whispers the same words I always whisper to her before I put her into a sim. I smile at her, and squeeze her hand a little. Together we jump off the building, hand in hand and with huge smiles on our faces. She smiles because of the thrill. I smile because I love her so much.


	17. Memories from long ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading this story, and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. They are highly appreciated, and always welcome. :)

Tris's POV

Tobias went to see Max early this morning to schedule a meeting. I stayed in his apartment, but couldn't sleep any longer. I decided to eat a light breakfast, before heading down to the fear landscape room, where I would meet with the others.

I sit next to Christina on my left, and Uriah on my right, while Will is inside his fear landscape monitored by Tobias, and Marlene by Lauren in the next room. Christina leans her head on my shoulder, yawning.

"Remind me not to stay up so late anymore," she says, and I chuckle.

"What did Max say when Four told him about you know what?" she asks.

"He didn't. Four only told me we would meet with Max and Jackson after lunch. Jackson was out this morning, and it is important they both are there," I tell her. I feel her nodding, and we all resume our silence. I hate these sessions in my fear landscape. Not only do I never know what to expect when I go in, but to my horror, the fear about being intimate with Tobias is still so annoying. Maybe I should ask Lauren to monitor me from now on. On the other hand, Tobias already saw my fears, that particularly one too. Plus, I don't want to have secrets from him.

"Tris," I hear Lauren's voice, and look up. She helps Marlene to sit down, and motions me to follow her inside. I fully expected to be called in by Tobias, but inwardly I'm glad she did. I sit down in the familiar recliner, and wait for her to put the electrodes to my temple, and inject me with the simulation serum. But she turns to look at me, a soft smile on her face.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I thought a lot about yesterday, and the attack," she says. I nod, understanding she means how Hana tried to kill me. "There is a seamstress here in Dauntless that makes amazing clothes," she says, and I raise an eyebrow. Clothes? Oh, no. Please! Not her too. Wasn't it enough I had to go on shopping trips with Christina? Now Lauren too? Seeing my reaction, Lauren chuckles. "No, you dimwit. She specializes in body armor. She creates clothes that look like every day clothes, but can withstand beatings, and even take bullets without actually injuring you," she explains.

"Ah, okay. I almost thought you wanted to go shopping with me, like Christina," I tell her and she laughs out loud. "Not funny."

"Shut up! It is. Come on. Let's get you ready. After I'm done with you, I take a break, and take you to Valerie, that's her name. You can tell her what you need, and she will make you something that you can wear, and also be protected."

"Thanks," I tell her, before she injects me with the simulation serum.

The room becomes smaller, and as I try to see, the image before me fades into nothingness. A new image appears, and I recognize the field outside the fence. I am looking around, trying to find something or someone, but I'm not sure what or who it is I'm looking for. Why am I here again?

I look up into the sky and see a murder of crows. I barely have time to think, when they suddenly change their course, and plunge toward me. I start running, but as I force my body to move forward, I realize each step is harder to make than the last.

To my right, a fire appears, and seeing a large branch nearby, I decide to grab it to shoo the relentless birds away. By now, they started attacking me, using their beaks to inflict small puncture wounds that don't bleed but sting like hell.

I use the branch, a few twigs already on fire, and move it toward the crows, pushing them away from me, until the image fades, and I am back in the fear landscape room.

While the whole experience inside the simulation wasn't as stressing as others, I realize I am breathing heavily, my heart is pounding, and my palms are slippery from the sweat. Lauren looks at me a little concerned, and hands me a bottle of water. I drink half of it, when I finally stop to take a much needed breath.

"Damn!" I curse.

"That wasn't so bad," Lauren comments, sitting on her chair, facing me. "Why are you so agitated?" she asks confused.

"I don't know. I can only guess it's everything that is going on. Last time I went through this fear everything went smoothly. Well, as smoothly as it can go," I tell her. She nods in understanding.

"I know that going through all these fears is exhausting, but three more weeks, and it's over. You'll never have to do this again. Unless, you are a masochist, like your boyfriend," she says, and my head shoots up. I look at her intently, and she realizes she just told me something I didn't know. "Oops."

"Spill it," I command, my voice hard, and even. She shakes her head.

"Not here," she adds, tilting her head slightly, allowing me to see the camera above watching us. I nod. She helps me stand up, although by now I have recovered enough to do it on my own. She makes it a point to hold me as we open the door, and walk into the little hallway.

"Everything alright?" Myra asks concerned. I look to my right where she is sitting next to Edward and Molly.

"She's fine. Just a little shaken," Lauren says. "Happens to the best of us," she adds. I keep my gaze down, realizing she wants me to look just as normal as the rest of them. Until now, they always saw me come out all by myself, without any help and barely any sign of exhaustion or emotional turmoil.

We walk away, and I can hear the door open, and then Tobias call Christina in. He must see Lauren and me walk away, and I link my mind to his.

"I'm fine," I tell him. "Lauren just wanted to show the others that I am just as torn by these simulations like the rest of them. I promise, I'm okay," I tell him in my head.

"Okay. Maybe we can see each other in the Chasm before lunch?" he asks hopeful.

"I'd love that," I reply, and break the link when he doesn't say anything more.

"Four wanted to know if you're okay, huh?" Lauren suddenly asks, after we rounded the third corner. She lets go of me, finally, and I walk next to her, but slightly behind.

"He saw us leave the way we did, and I knew he would be confused," I tell her.

"You know, I've never seen him like this. We are friends, but he never really opened up to anyone. Maybe Shauna and Zeke, but I don't think he really allowed people to see the real him," she says, and I wonder if she knows about him. I wouldn't be surprised. While Tobias keeps his identity guarded, those who were in his initiation class, and obviously the instructors, would know him and who he really is. So far, no one used any other name for him than Four, and I'm glad they respect his privacy. "He seems happy, and carefree," she adds. I think she said something else too, but I was zoned out.

When we finally arrive at a door, Lauren knocks three times, and then someone opens it. In front of me stands a tall woman with light chocolate skin, and the most mesmerizing light blue eyes I've ever seen. She looks like an angel. Wow!

"Hey Valerie, this is Tris. I've told her all about your mad skills," Lauren says with a chuckle. Valerie smiles at her, and then looks at me.

"Please, come in," she says, standing to the side. I go to enter, but just then Lauren tells us she needs to return to the fear landscape room. I nod in understanding, knowing she can't show favoritism toward me. It would be unfair to the other initiates. I hug her goodbye, and we decide to see each other later during lunch.

I enter Valerie's apartment, and the moment I'm inside a strange feeling overcomes me. The apartment isn't big, but the pieces she used to decorate this place are unique. I have a feeling I've seen them before or similar ones, but for the life of me I can't remember where and when. I've explored this city from north to south, and east to west. I know it in and out, every nook, every crevice, every building and every street. This city is in my blood. It is as much part of me, as I am of it.

Valerie offers me a seat on her couch, and asks me if I want some tea or coffee. I ask for tea, and she goes into her kitchen. I can't help my own curiosity, and go to look around the room. It is very cozy, and inviting, and I feel like I am home.

I walk toward a small bookshelf and look over the books she has. Most are novels with worn-out covers, others are books on fabric and sewing. But one looks completely different from all the others. I reach out to take it, but stop myself. This is wrong. I am in a stranger's apartment, snooping around. I shouldn't be doing it.

"Do it, my Queen," I hear a voice. I turn around abruptly, and see Valerie watching me, a soft smile on her face. "Do it, my Queen. It is yours after all," she says in my head. What?

I don't know what to do or what to say. Do I react to her saying those things in her mind? If I do, she'll know I could hear her. And why would she call me queen? Should I reveal myself?

"Read my mind, my Liege, I am your humble servant," she says out loud. My eyes widen in shock. She knows I can read minds. How? Was I so careless that I exposed myself? To a stranger like her no less? What should I do? The only thing I can do, is read her thoughts. This is the only way I will get my answers. She can't hide them from me.

I concentrate on her, and the moment I feel a connection between our minds, I see images appear. I see a boot camp, female warriors training. The image then moves forward and I see Valerie fighting in battles. She wears a silver armor, with golden strings creating intrinsic patterns. She looks like a knight in shining armor, but nothing like I've ever seen in the history books. The image fades, and I see a large, beautiful palace. I see a parade, colorful ribbons, balloons, and confetti everywhere. I see people dressed in their finest clothes, celebrating something, and as I look up I see Tobias. What? What is he doing here? Why does Valerie have a memory of him? More importantly, where is this? I watch Tobias as he smiles widely, his handsome face carefree, yet more mature than the man I know. He looks to his right, and I follow his gaze. I watch a woman at his arm, holding him to her. If her face wouldn't paralyze me, I'd probably be jealous. The woman is me. The image fades yet again, and I see myself holding a long sword. Tobias is standing in front of me, he is injured. Behind us is a giant fire monster, destroying the city. I watch in horror as I drive the sword into his chest, killing him.

I pull myself out of that memory, unable to bear any more of this pain. I fall to the ground, crying in despair, tears streaming down my face, and sobs wrecking my body. I don't even register when Valerie kneels down before me, and wraps her arms around me.

"My Queen, I beg you," she says. I look up. I see her worried face, her eyes clouded in concern, as she forces me to stand up.

"What was that? Who are you? What did I see?" I ask between sobs, unable to calm myself down. One of my worst nightmares is one of her memories.

I allow Valerie to guide me back to her couch, offering me the chamomile tea she prepared for us. I take a sip, solely to calm my nerves, when she starts telling me her story.

"My real name is Bergdis*," she starts saying. Oh-kay. "I am part of a noble warrior tribe called the Valkyries. We fight to defend the ten realms, and after a fierce battle against the Jotuns, Odin commanded me to go with you to Cer, and protect you." She lets that sink in. Okay. So, we have a noble tribe, fierce battle, Jo-tuns, and a dude named Odin.

"I don't want to be rude, but what the fuck?" I ask, setting the cup of tea on the coffee table before me. Valerie smiles at me, and then goes on to tell me some more.

"The known universe holds ten realms that govern the laws of existence. There's Alfheim, home of the Light Elves; Nioavellir, the home of the dwarves or Dark Elves; Jotunheim, home of the giants; Vanaheim, home of the Vanir; Niflheim, a world of ice and snow; Muspelheim, a world of fire and lava, and home of the Jotun Surtr; Helheim, the home of the dishonorable dead, and governed by the goddess Hel; Asgard, the home of the Æsir, and ruled by the god Odin; Midgard or Earth as you know it; and of course, Cer, home of the Pillars of Life."

Silence.

This is too much. I stand up, and start pacing. Is this a joke? Is this a fairy tale? Is this some sort of lecture on mythical history or something?

"I understand this is much, and there is so much more that I have to tell you. I have waited for so long for you to appear, my Queen," she says. There she goes again with the queen thing.

"Alright. I've had it. Explain to me why you keep calling me your queen. I'm not a queen. There's no such thing as kings and queens anymore," I tell her a little louder, frustrated that I don't know what the deal is with her.

"You will understand. Once you are reunited with the King, and you both sit on the throne, you will understand," she says. What the hell? "But it is imperative I keep you safe until you remember the past," she says cryptic. Safe from what? There are a lot of people after me. How will she keep me safe? "I have something for you, something I kept for a long time. It will protect you against all attacks."

I look at her with a curious expression on my face. I don't understand what the matter is with her, but Lauren told me she trusts her, and that Valerie creates these amazing clothes that can withstand basically all injuries. Something like this will come in handy when someone will try to kill me again.

I decide to not pry any further into her nonsensical blabber, and go with her into the other room where she shows me clothes that seem to have been made specifically for me. She shows me the ones she calls "protective suits", and urges me to try one on. I ask her to leave the room, not wanting an audience for when I change into this miracle suit. It is nothing out of the ordinary when you look at it: a pair of skin tight leather pants, and a top that is covered by a corset. Both articles of clothing are both light, yet resistant. I can tell that the corset is made of a distinct material. I don't have much knowledge on fabric, but I know this is nothing regular clothes are made off. Even inside the corset I can feel strings of metal that is light, barely there but enough to create a barrier between my body and an outside threat.

Once I'm done dressing, I take a moment to admire myself in the tall mirror. I look badass. I look Dauntless. I look like a warrior. I look undefeatable. I like it. I like it a lot. Valerie enters the room, smiling at me as she sees me inspecting her work, before handing me two large bags. I look at her confused, and she explains that one contains more outfits to keep me protected, while the second one is for the clothes I had on. After a moment of argument, she tells me that Lauren already paid for all the outfits, and I make a mental note to pay my friend back.

Valerie shows me, using a dummy, how the clothes will protect me, and I have to say I am most impressed. A part of me is a little giddy to try them out in real life, but I would never really suggest that. Apparently, my idea doesn't remain just theoretical, because Valerie shows me a gun that will shoot practice rounds. I agree that it'll be a good thing to actually know what I can endure, and so she shoots.

I thank Valerie again, and hurry out. I have a date with Tobias, but more importantly, I feel uncomfortable being so close to a person who knew exactly what I can do, yet seems a little crazy to be reassuring. I say goodbye, rush upstairs to Tobias's apartment, glad he gave me the spare key, and deposit the bags next to his dresser. I'd take them to the dorm, but I have a feeling I won't spend any more nights there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *Bergdis = Combination of borg "help, rescue" and dís "goddess".
> 
> Okay, so what's with the queen thing? And what is Valerie's deal? Did she tell the truth? And why is she so mysterious about it? Why does Tobias appear in Valerie's memories? Why does she know about Tris's nightmare? Or her powers?


	18. Bulletproof

Tobias's POV

I am glad when I finally wrap up for the first part of the day. I hurry closing up the fear landscape room, and sprint toward the Chasm. I am so excited to see Tris again. I know we just saw each other this morning, and our relationship certainly evolved to a more physical one, but I still can't get enough of her. We haven't done anything too intimate, just making out on the bed, touching each other, but we are usually pretty much fully dressed.

After I saw that fear in her fear landscape, I was hurt at first, but as the simulation went on, I realized that her fear is genuine, and not so much directed at me, as it is a testimony of our Abnegation upbringing. It was frowned upon in our old faction to show any kind of affection in public, and therefore we didn't have many examples. I sure didn't.

All I can do is show her how much she means to me, and if that means I have to wait to be with her, so be it. Actually, I am not so sure I am ready for such a big step myself. I know that other guys can't wait to get the girl in bed, and have sex with her. But Tris is too important to me to just consider her as stress relief. I want our first time to be special, no matter when it happens. I don't want to pressure her, because I know I'll always wonder if she really did it because she loves me or maybe because she felt like she had to. I don't want her to do anything she isn't ready to do, no matter how much I want her. I can wait. She is worth the wait.

I run the last few feet until I reach the door that leads to our secret hiding spot deep inside the Chasm. I am so excited, I haven't stopped smiling since I left the fear landscape room. I push the door open, silently patting my shoulder for oiling the rusted old door a few weeks ago. I carefully make my way to the rock formation we usually sit on, and find my girlfriend sitting there deep in thought, as she watches the water rushing deep into the ground.

"Penny for your thought," I say, using the old saying, but Tris remains in her own little world. Remembering the last time she was zoned out like this, I approach her with caution, and once I am close enough I start waving my hand in front of her eyes until she finally notices me. The moment she realizes it's me, her eyes go wide, and then a wide grin splits her face.

"I've missed you," she says, and practically leaps into my arms. I laugh a little, and catch her as she throws her arms around me.

"I've missed you too," I tell her holding her tightly against me. I move her a little, so that I can sit on the rock she previously occupied, and pull her in my lap, holding her close. I am always happy when I can hold her in my arms. But as I squeeze her against me I notice something different about her. I push us a little apart to inspect her, trying to figure out what is different. Usually, she is very soft, but now her body seems hard, and rigid. I am not sure I like it. I love how she always feels like a soft cloud, making me believe there is a heaven.

"What?" she asks, biting her lower lip. I smile at her, adoring the way she always does that when she's nervous.

"Something is different," I say. Realization dawning on her, she stands up, holding her arms away from her body showing off something. I stare at her, but the light down here isn't the best.

"Lauren took me to a friend of hers, who is a seamstress. Valerie, that's her name, she creates clothes that act as body armor disguised in regular clothes," she tells me, and my mouth hangs open. I stand up, and go to touch her. It's not romantic in any way, but I need to inspect this. I take my time to check every inch of Tris's outfit wanting to make sure that this seamstress is as legit as Lauren thinks.

"I don't know what to say," I tell her honestly. I've seen body armor before, but that looked definitely different to what Tris is wearing.

"I have to tell you something," she says, and our eyes lock. I can tell she is nervous. What happened? Panic rushes through me at the thought that something might have happened to her while she was out of my sight. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I have to remind myself that Tris is strong and capable of defending herself. If something bad would have happened, she wouldn't be here.

I realize she stopped talking, and is now staring at me, her eyes betraying her concern. I nod my head for her to continue. She sighs, and closes her eyes for a moment, before opening them again and staring at me again.

"We tested the clothes." I remain quiet. What does that even mean?

"Tris, please, you're killing me," I tell her impatiently. Why can't she say it?

"Don't get mad. It was necessary," she rambles on. I give her a stern look, and she sighs again. "Valerie shot me," she says, and at the mention of her getting shot, I almost lose it completely.

"What?" I shout. Tris shushes me, and gives me a nasty glare. Is she kidding me right now?

"Tobias, we had to. I had to. I needed to know these clothes will protect me."

"Are you insane? You let a complete stranger talk you into wearing some clothes, and let her shoot you? What is the matter with you? Don't you value your life one bit?" I ask her angrily. She takes a step back from me, angry herself.

"I'm insane?" she asks loud. I can hear both anger and hurt in her voice, but right now, I can't care about her feelings. She just told me she got shot. And she even encouraged that. "You are a real idiot sometimes," she says glaring at me. What?

"Am I an idiot for worrying sick about you? For loving you? For wanting you safe?" I shout.

"You are an idiot for thinking I would put myself in danger, you bonehead!" she counters.

"'Cause that's unheard of with the brilliant prankster," I tell her tauntingly. Tris's eyes widen, and before I even see her move, I know what she will do. A second later her hand collides with my face so violently, I even have to take a step back, and turn my head to the side. As angry as I am right now, I have to admit, she has a wicked right hook.

"You idiot! Do you really think I would risk my life for nothing? You're such a bonehead sometimes!" she yells, and I can hear her frustration. "We used practice rounds, you moron! So that I can get a sense of how effective the clothes are."

I turn back around to yell at her, but mostly to look at her, but she is gone. I don't know if she levitated out or if she turned herself invisible or just ran off.

"Tris!" I shout after her, but there is no response. She must be invisible to me, I think, but then I hear the distinctive sound of the metal door, and know she just left the Chasm that way.

Ugh! This woman can be so infuriating!

I remain down here for a moment longer, before I decide to go pay this Valerie a visit. As I hurry back upstairs, I realize I don't know where to find her. I call Lauren, and on my second ring she picks up.

"What?" she asks annoyed. What's with the tone?

"I need to ask you something," I tell her abrasively.

"If you want to know where your sensitivity is, must be down the drain," she says spitefully. What has gotten into her?

"Lauren!" I hear Tris's voice scold our friend. Now I get it. What did Tris tell her? Did she seriously go and whine about our fight? I am so frustrated with my girlfriend right now.

"What? He deserves it," she says to Tris. "You deserve it, you dick!" she yells into the phone, before hanging up. What the hell? I am tempted to throw my phone against the wall, but I stop myself in time.

I decide to go to the administration's office. They will know how to find Valerie… ugh, damn. I don't know her last name. But there can't be many seamstresses here in Dauntless. I check my watch, and there is still some time left before I have to pick up Lauren and Tris to go to Max's office. What if she changed her mind? I stop dead in my tracks. Would she?

"Tobias?" I hear her in my head. "Can we talk?" she asks, her voice calmer than before.

"Sure. At least now you can't punch me," I tell her jokingly, but I mean it. Damn, she can punch. But a moment later a lightning pain in my head makes me cringe. "Did you do that?" I ask her bewildered.

"Yes. Don't think because I love you I won't hand you your ass," she says angrily. The pain disappears as quickly as it appears. Despite being angry with her, I have to admit I am impressed with her. She doesn't take crap, not from anyone, not from me.

"That's my girl!" I tell her proudly.

"Shut up!" she replies, but I can hear the smile in her voice. "Tobias, you have to believe me, I am not that prankster anymore. Valerie demonstrated on a dummy how the clothes withstand real bullets, but I wanted to see how it feels like. She agreed, especially since we need to know what body parts need more protection," she explains. That kind of makes sense. If only she would have started with that, I think to myself. "Don't be an ass!" she says angrily.

"You heard that," I state matter-of-factly. Of course she did. We are linked mentally. I'm such a moron.

"Yeah, you are. Baby," she says after a moment of silence, "you have to trust me. And you have to let me finish my god damn sentences before you draw conclusions." I know she is right.

"Where are you?" I ask her.

"By the net," comes her immediate reply.

I hurry to get to her, and as I approach the door, Lauren opens it, and comes into the hallway. She gives me a glare, and punches me in the shoulder. I don't say anything, and let her be. She is just looking out for her friend, and I smile knowing that no matter what, Tris will always have someone to look out for her.

"I'm sorry, babe," I tell her, taking huge steps toward her. She stands on the platform, and looks my way. A soft smile appears on her face. I don't even wait for her to say anything, and hop on the platform, wrapping her in my arms.

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted," she says, and I can hear the regret in her voice. I shake my head, and while she can't see it, she can feel the movement of my head against hers.

"No, I overreacted. The thought of losing you makes me see red, and all I can think of is a Plan B, C, D, and so on to keep you safe." She chuckles.

"I feel the same way," she confesses. My heart beats faster at her admission, and I push my body slightly away from hers, and bring my lips down to taste the sweetness that is Tris.

We deepen our kiss, our arms wrapped around each other, none of us willing to give up on this perfect moment. The world might be broken, cold, and filled with pain, but in this moment everything is perfect.

When we finally part, we are both breathless, and a deep shade of pink is coloring Tris's cheeks. I can only imagine I hold a similar shade on my own, but I don't care. I love her, and she is mine, and we are okay.

We finally head toward the cafeteria, when Tris's stomach rumbles loudly. We laugh at the sound, and Tris punches me lightly. Unfortunately, that's the same place Lauren punched me earlier, and I wince a little.

"I'm sorry," she says bashful. I cup her face in my palms, and kiss her lips. I shake my head, telling her it's okay. "I'm also sorry for the punch in the Chasm. I shouldn't have done that," she says, and looks away.

"Tris, it's okay. I am really proud of you. You are capable of defending yourself, and you can defend yourself from me," I tell her, thinking of the countless times my father beat up my mother. My mother was too weak to stand up to him, but Tris will never allow anyone, including me to hurt her. As I stare at the girl I fell in love with, I see an appalled look in her eyes.

Tris pushes me away from her, and for a moment I think she'll strike me again. But then she grabs onto my jacket, pulling me hard against her, crashing her mouth on mine.

"You are not your father," she says in my head. "You are a better man than he'll ever hope to be. You are kind, caring, devoted, and loyal, Tobias Eaton, and I love you with all my heart. If you were even half of a percent of what your monster of a father is, I wouldn't be here with you." I feel tears streaming down our faces, but I can't tell if they're mine or hers. When we finally part, I see how red Tris's eyes are, but realize I've shed some tears as well. "Don't ever compare yourself to that monster again," she says out loud, her voice determined, and her tone holding a finality that I know I shouldn't challenge. It still amazes me how she can love me as broken as I am, but I am grateful she does. In the short while I've known her I came to love her like I've never loved anyone before. At times, I think my heart will burst from all those feelings, but I think that's a good thing.

"Thank you," I finally say, and hug her tightly to myself. I inhale her scent, allowing it to calm me down. We both need to calm enough to leave this room, and go to the rowdy Dauntless cafeteria. And afterwards, we need to meet with Max and Jackson. God, I wish this day was over already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, they had their first big fight. What did you think? Did Tobias exaggerate? Or does Tris still allow herself to be too reckless? What will the leaders say when Tris and Tobias confess they're in a relationship? I can't wait to hear from you.


	19. Coming out

Tris and I leave the net, and walk separately to the cafeteria. I watch Tris go sit with the other initiates, while I sit with Tori, Dwayne, and James. They are my friends too, to some extent, but I have to admit I miss Zeke and Shauna. Why do they have to be so stubborn? Lauren joins us shortly, and after punching my arm again, though this time it's not so rough, she grins at me and sits down.

I guess, Tris told her we made up. Or she picked up on our good mood, and figured it out on her own. I don't ask, not wanting others to find out about the issue either. We eat in comfortable silence, that is only disturbed by James and Dwayne discussing our next "guys night", and I'm instantly reminded that Zeke won't be there. They already told me that until this issue with Hana is resolved, they will keep their distance to her and anyone associated with her.

The moment I'm finished eating, I check if Tris is ready too, and then glance at Lauren. When both girls are ready, I stand up, and leave, letting Tris follow me with Lauren. By now, everyone knows that Tris and Lauren knew each other from way back, and it isn't so much of an odd sight anymore.

After they finally exit the cafeteria, the three of us head upstairs to the Pire, where the leaders' offices are. When we reach Max's office, I take a deep breath, before knocking. I wait to be asked inside, and when that happens, I open the door allowing Lauren to enter first, and then Tris, holding my hand on her lower back.

Max and Jackson look up surprised as the three of us stand in the middle of the room. Max offers us to sit down, and we nod.

"Four, I don't really understand what this is," Max says, looking from me to Lauren, and then his eyes land on Tris. For a moment, I am feeling jealous, but then I remember why I am here. Why we all are here.

"Max, Jackson, you two have known me since I joined Dauntless," I start saying, and they both nod. "I hold the belief that this whole time you wanted me to join you as a fellow leader, you saw some qualities in me that would justify this honor."

"Yes, of course," Max says, still not understanding.

"The reason why I am here today is because I want to believe I am a fair, and ethical person," I add.

"That's one of the main reasons we even considered you," Jackson says. That surprises me a little, considering that my investigation showed that while both Jackson and Max aren't on Jeanine's side out of conviction, they still betray our faction for personal gain. However, I push all that down. For now. I nod my head.

"From the beginning of this year's initiation I have struggled with something. Wanting to be a fair instructor, I kept myself as far away from the initiates as possible," I start saying, but I realize that makes things only worse. It doesn't clarify anything for the two Dauntless before me.

"Just tell him already," Lauren says with an eye roll. I glare at her.

"Tell us what?" Max asks suspiciously. I hang my head.

"I started having feelings for one of the initiates. I kept myself professional in regards of her ranking during Phase 1, but I can't nor do I want to hold back my feelings any longer." I watch them as they start to understand.

"Am I to assume Tris is the girl you like?" Jackson asks, his eyes shifting from me to her.

"That's a problem," Max adds.

"I know. I struggled with it for a long time, and until two weeks ago, I didn't even tell her that I had feelings for her. We haven't," I start saying but I am interrupted by Tris. Can't she ever shut up?

"We haven't been intimate," she says confidently. "After Four confessed his feelings for me, I did the same, and while everything was very exciting, I didn't want anyone to think I was getting ahead in the ranks because the instructor had a thing for me. I know there are initiates in my class who would gladly shout that I probably fucked his brains out or something," she says, and I feel heat rising in my cheeks. I watch Max and Jackson stare at her flabbergasted.

"Would you be willing to testify to that?" Max asks.

"How about a physical? I'm a virgin, just for the record," she adds smugly.

"There are other ways to," Jackson starts saying with a grin, but Tris stops him.

"I said I was a virgin, that includes everything," she adds, her tone deadly.

"If I may suggest something," Lauren says, sensing the dangerous path Tris is on. The two men look at my friend and fellow instructor, waiting for her to explain. "I think it is obvious that during Phase 1 Tris improved greatly. Just because she is from Abnegation doesn't mean squat. I've sparred with her since we were little girls, Bud taught her quite a few tricks too. Plus, Four couldn't have helped her more than he helped any other initiate. Everyone saw her fight, and unless someone can explain how Four or anyone could help her hit her target using a gun or knife, I'd say her ranking was legit."

"I agree," Max says, stunning me a little. "I've been observing you, Tris," he says to her. I don't like this. If he kept close watch, that must mean Tris red-flagged him or maybe even Eric. She has been a pain in Eric's ass since she transferred. I wouldn't be surprised if he only looked for ways to make her miserable just because. "What about Phase 2?" he asks pointedly.

"I want to step down as instructor. I don't want anyone to think Tris received any rank because of me, and I don't want to be put in the situation in the first place. Regardless of my feelings for her, I believe Tris belongs in this faction. She is brave, braver than many Dauntless-born," I tell them confidently.

"We'll see," Max says pensively.

"What are you thinking, Max?" Jackson asks. Yeah, what is he thinking?

"I've known Four for the past two years, and I trust him when he says he didn't play favorites with his girlfriend," Max says, and looks from me to Tris. "But I think the faction deserves that we check her records again, and I want you to come forward. If you really have nothing to hide, it won't be a problem for you to tell the faction about your relationship."

I am stunned. I don't know what to say. The plan was to wait until after initiation. What should I…

"Agreed!" Tris says confidently without even a hint of restraint. Just as I want to say something, someone barges into the office, and to my dread, it's Eric.

"Eric, what the hell? I'm in a meeting. Can't you knock?" Max ask angrily. Eric seems unfazed by that, and just glares at me and Tris.

"I came here to tell you how your precious Four is betraying our faction," Eric says, and silence falls. I feel blood leave my face, my hands are sweating, my heart is pounding. He found me out. He knows I'm a Gifted. Maybe even that I'm spying on them. Oh, God! What if he knows about Tris. "I demand you put him under truth serum," he says, and slams his fist on Max's table.

The two other leaders look from Eric to me, and then back. They are as confused as I am. I feel Tris grab my hand, squeezing it lightly. I squeeze back, allowing the love I have for her to strengthen me.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Jackson demands. He looks angry. I don't remember ever seeing him angry, but I've heard quite a few stories about him from when he was younger. He used to be a really angry man in his youth, picking fights with virtually everyone who didn't immediately bow to his wishes.

"Why don't we let Four tell us?" Eric sneers.

"You barged in here. You tell us. NOW!" Jackson yells at Eric. My nemesis looks at the older Dauntless a little surprised, but regaining his composure, he gives me one last deathly glare before he opens his mouth.

"Four and the Stiff are fucking each other. He helped her pass Phase 1. There is no way she could have done that on her own. He is a traitor. And for what? For him to fuck some pussy. Not even a good pussy," he snarls, and I see red. I launch myself at him, and it takes Max and Jackson to pull me off Eric.

I feel Tris's gentle touch on my hand, my fist still balled, but I let loose a little when I see her worried eyes. I allow her to guide me to the side, and immediately hug her tightly to me.

"It's okay," she whispers. "It doesn't matter what he says. Don't let him get to you," she tells me, all the while rubbing my back. She pulls back slightly, and then kisses me gently on the lips. I forget for a moment where we are, and pull her tightly in my arms.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to figure this out," Jackson says seriously, albeit not as angry as he seemed to be while talking to Eric. I don't know what the dynamics between Jackson and Eric are, but from what I've seen so far, Eric really doesn't have many friends. Or people to tolerate his bull shit. I nod, and step closer to Max's office desk, my arm around Tris's waist.

Eric has kept rambling on about how he found us out, and how I should be made factionless. And Tris too. And on and on he goes with his venom.

"You done?" Max asks him bored. For a moment, confusion crosses Eric's face. Used to Max going along with whatever sadistic shit he has in mind, Eric watches our head leader suspiciously. "Thank you for your concern, Eric," Max says through gritted teeth, "but Four already informed us about the fact that he and Miss Prior have feelings for each other. I was just telling them that the leaders will reevaluate Miss Prior's achievements so far, and I will personally oversee her progress during Phase 2, relieving Four of his instructor duties." I watch as Eric looks confused, and angry at the same time. This is definitely not what he was hoping for.

"You can't possibly think that this Stiff ranked sixth because she is good. She doesn't even look like she'd be good in bed," he starts again, and it is only because of Tris pulling me back that I don't smack his face.

"You take that back, you bastard!" I yell.

"Enough!" comes Max's roaring voice. "Eric, I've already told you leadership will take care of this matter."

"I want to test her myself. It is clear you prefer Four over me. And now that he found himself a slut to fuck, you will let her stay just because she spreads her legs for him," Eric yells venomously. "Maybe you hope she'll spread them for you, too."

I am out of my mind with rage. How dare he speak like this about my Tris? She is nothing of that sort. That bastard spews venom and lies every time he opens his foul mouth.

"You wanna fight me, you pathetic prick?" Tris asks, stepping in front of me. "Bring it on, motherfucker!" she yells at him.

"If I beat you, you will leave this compound and go live factionless, you scrawny little bitch!" Eric yells in her face. Tris seems unfazed by him.

"And if I win, you admit to the whole faction what a shit you are, that Four is a hundred times better than you, and you step down from leadership," she challenges. What has gotten into her? Is she out of her mind?

"Forget it, slut!"

"What? Big bad Eric afraid he might lose to a girl? A Stiff no less?" Tris asks in a whiney voice. Why is she always antagonizing him? He is twice her size.

"I'll show you! We go, right now. The Pit!" Eric yells, and grabs Tris by her arm, dragging her out.

"Eric!" I yell.

"Don't! Let him take me down!" I hear Tris's voice in my head. I follow them, but I feel Lauren pull me back. "Lauren plays a part. I've told her to pretend she is holding you back. Trust me, please!" she says, and I hear the urgency in her voice.

"Why did you do this? He will hurt you," I tell her.

"He'll hurt me one way or another. But this idiot accidentally turned on the intercom when he slammed his fist on Max's desk. This whole time the faction listened in on our verbal dispute," she says, and I can almost see her smirk.

I wonder if she planned all this. No. She would have told me. I have to trust her. But Eric is vicious. He will hurt her. If for no other reason but to hurt me. And with the way Tris treated him in front of the other leaders, he'll lash out on her.

By the time we reach the Pit, a large crowd has already gathered here to watch the pending fight. I watch as Eric goes to the large stone where we usually make announcements, but Jackson grabs the microphone out of his hands. I follow Jackson up that stone after he gestured me to follow. He whispers in my ear that I have to tell the faction now. It seems, on our way down here, Mason caught up with us, and told Max and him about the whole mess with the intercom.

I take a deep breath. I hate giving speeches, especially in front of so many people. But this is for Tris. This is so I can be with her. I have to be brave. Just like she is.

I look over the crowd, and it seems it has gotten larger since before. I brace myself for their judgement. It doesn't matter anymore. I love Tris no matter what. If they're gonna kick her out, I'm leaving too. I don't care.

I start by telling them that I consider myself a fair person, just like I told my fellow leaders. I briefly tell them that I started having feelings for one of my initiates, but it wasn't until after Phase 1 concluded that she confessed she was having feelings too. None of us knew where this would lead, but we didn't want to deceive anyone, so we went to the leaders to explain the situation, and accept their punishment, if any. Jackson steps in to tell us that Max and he will personally look over the initiate's results so far, and that I will be removed, by my own request, from the position as instructor.

"Who's the initiate?" someone from the crowd asks.

"Tris Prior," I say confidently, a smile on my face. I look at her, she is still standing next to Eric, who is still grabbing her. I want to step down, and pull her away from her, but she gives me a look that says "don't". I know she has to do this, to prove that she is worth being here. Which is absurd. I don't know anyone who is more worth than her.

After I said Tris's name, everyone stays quiet. I have never experienced the Dauntless so quiet. That is, until someone starts cheering, eliciting loud chants from the rest. They seem to shout "Four" and "Tris" but they are so loud, and all scream at the same time that it sounds like a combination of our names, like they are chanting FourTris. I chuckle to myself.

I watch as Eric lets go of Tris, and comes furiously toward me. I watch him grab the microphone from Jackson's hands, and announces that he will test the Stiff to prove that I cheated. Several Dauntless start booing, and call him a prick or a dick. I'm not sure. That only fuels his anger. Unable to stop what is coming, I watch in horror as Eric returns to where Tris is. The crowd made space for them to fight, and everyone awaits the first punch.

Eric starts circling Tris, but Tris remains completely still, her head the only part of her body moving as she follows him. What is she doing? When Eric has circled her for a second time, he seems to get impatient, and charges. Tris lets herself fall backwards, lifting only her fist as she punches him in the groin. I watch Eric topple over, as Tris lifts herself, as if she is a folding chair. She literally folded her legs, until she was bended in half letting her back almost touch the ground, and lifted herself up again with zero difficulty. I never taught her that. I'm not even sure I could do that.

"I forgot to mention, despite growing up in Abnegation, my friend Lauren, and my uncle Bud taught me a few moves of their own."

I watch Eric stand up again, still holding his groin, pain probably still coursing through him, but with the newfound adrenaline in his body, he charges again. I watch in stunned silence as Tris jumps up, snakes her legs around Eric, and hits him in the face, before rotating around him, kneeing him in the face, and pushing herself so hard off him, that she manages a flip in the air before she lands gracefully on her feet. I definitely didn't teach her that.

"I am also a huge fan of parkour," she adds. She doesn't even seem out of breath. Is she using her powers? No, I don't believe that. But damn, my girl is amazing. "Told ya," she says in my head, her tone cocky. I avoid rolling my eyes.

Eric stands up again, completely out of his mind with rage. He reminds me of Marcus. And that's when I know I can't wait. I jump off the rock, but before I can even run toward my girlfriend, Eric charges anew, Tris avoids getting hit, and with a precision I rarely see in anyone she hits Eric over and over again, until he lies on the ground, barely conscious.

"Those extra fighting techniques are called Krav Maga, and are about two leagues ahead of Dauntless training. I mean, FYI," she says, turning to look at the crowd.

The next moment, the Dauntless crowd starts shouting so loud, I think they might have broken a record of some sort. I am so glad she is alright. Oh, God. I'll never question her again.

"You better not," she says in my head. She comes running toward me, and jumps into my arms, her arms and legs around me, pulling me tightly towards her. Our lips crash, and I forget everything. Nothing matters, only she does.

The crowd starts chanting again, and if this is any indication, I dare to hope that they are okay with this. Even if they wouldn't have been, there is no chance I would give up on her. I let Tris down gently, keeping my lips attached to hers, but then I know we have to return to the other leaders. I help her up, and just as I want to climb after her someone grabs my arm, and I realize it's Bud. I scowl at him, but I don't have time to say anything, because a loud gunshot is heard, followed by someone screaming. I look up to find Tris, but instead see her slumped against Max.

"NO!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I'm evil for the cliffhanger.
> 
> Tobias and Tris told the leaders about their relationship? Anyone surprised how well Max took the news? Anyone surprised how not so well Eric took it? Tris had the opportunity to show off her mad fighting skills. Will she be taken more seriously now by the Dauntless population, especially the males? More importantly, WTF? She got shot!


	20. Oh, brother

Tris's POV

What the hell happened? One moment I am super excited about beating up that shit Eric, and the next I'm in complete darkness. Where am I?

I stretch out my arms, trying to feel something, anything really, but there is nothing. Tobias. Where are you?

I feel tears running down my face. My heart is pounding, my breathing erratic, and all I can think of is I want to get out of here. I don't even know where here is.

I take a tentative step forward. I feel nothing. It is as if I am walking on nothing, surrounded by nothing. This must mean, I am nothing. How can I be anything, if there is no point of reference? And if I'm nothing, do I even exist?

In front of me, just a few feet ahead, I see a little spark. What is it? I take a step, then another, then another, and another. The spark is still far away from me. I walk faster. One foot in front of the other, one in front of the other, left, right, left, right. The spark is still out of reach. I feel myself getting frustrated. I walk faster. No, I'm running. I'm running fast, faster, so fast I must reach it for sure. Why is it still so far away? I push myself harder. I need to get to that spark. It's the only thing here. If I don't reach it, it means I'm nothing. I can't be nothing. I won't be nothing.

I push my body harder than I've ever pushed it before. I feel my muscles ache, my lungs burn, my skin tingle in anticipation. I will reach it. I have to.

I reach out my hand, stretching it as far as I can. I can feel a warmth coming from the spark. I want to touch it. I'm so close. I will touch it. I will. I will.

I am.

An explosion.

Before my eyes, I watch at an incredible speed stars form, planets, galaxies. What is this?

Everything moves so quickly that it makes me dizzy, but then, it suddenly stops. I am somewhere, in a garden. I've been here before. The three children, the ones I've seen when I touched Jack. The image fades, and I see the same thing I saw when I touched Robert. More images appear and disappear in rapid succession that it makes me nauseous. The children grow up, but the images change so swiftly that I can't see their faces. There's a battle, death, celebration, more death, more celebration, day, night, the seasons fly by, days, years, decades, and suddenly it all stops.

The image before me is the same I've seen many times before. It is the one of the city on fire, and before me stands Tobias. I kill him. I push my sword through his chest, ending his life.

I scream. No sounds come out. I scream louder. Nothing. I am a bystander. I've killed the one that I love.

"You had to," I hear a voice, a man's. I look to my right and a man appeared. He seems old. But as I watch him carefully I can tell he is some sort of authority figure. I don't recognize his clothes, but what stands out is his white beard, and the absence of his right eye.

"Who are you?" I ask, my voice suddenly back.

"A friend, an old friend," he says with a kind smile. I don't recognize him. And I'm not that old to have old friends.

"What is this place?" I ask.

"That's not important," he says dismissively. I frown. "Important is that you remember. You are in danger, my Queen." What? Danger? And what's with the queen thing again?

"What danger?" I ask.

"It will reveal itself soon. You have to remember. You all have to remember. Things are already in motion. Everything you need to know is in the book," he says. What book? Before I can even open my mouth, Tobias's apartment appears, and he points at the airshaft where I hid the book and the scrolls we found in the temple. How did he know? "Read it."

"I can't. I don't know the language," I protest.

"Yes, you do. It is your mother's language. Read it."

I turn back to look at the man, after glancing for a long while at the mysterious book, but he is gone. I am once again surrounded by darkness.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping for a miracle, for another spark, for anything.

Voices. I hear voices. What are they saying?

"What do you even want here?" I hear one voice ask.

"She is still my family," a second voice says. They are both male. Who are they? Do I know them? Do they know me? Who am I? I know the answer. It's on the tip of my tongue.

"I will find you in the next life," Tobias suddenly says to me, the image of his death returning. What? What does that mean? I look between us, and see the sword. The sword that will kill him. The sword I will use to kill him. And I do. Why do I keep doing it? I love him so much it hurts me more than it does him. Why do I keep doing it?

I jerk up. It's dark, but not as dark as it was before. Where am I? I look around, and recognize my surroundings. I'm in the infirmary. Why? I think back to the last thing I remember. The Pit. I was fighting Eric. I defeated him. I kissed Tobias. I climbed the rock. And then pain. And then nothing.

Oh, God! Eric shot me. Am I dead? A beeping sound next to me startles me a little. I look to my right, and recognize a heart monitor. I recognize it from all the times I was hooked to one when I was a kid. I follow the wires, and surely the electrodes are attached to my chest. How am I alive?

I think back further. Right. Valerie and her "protection suits". Man, am I glad she didn't oversell these. Mental note: get more of these suits. They are fucking life savers.

I look around again, and realize I am alone. The clock on the wall says it's almost midnight. Was I out that long? Must have been. Where's Tobias? He must be dealing with the aftermath of Eric's attempted murder on me. Mom was right after all. Someone was trying to kill me. Thankfully, like Hana, Eric failed too. I can only hope that people are done trying to kill me. This is getting annoying.

I lay back and think of that strange dream. It seems that lately I have only dreams that leave me wondering whether or not I will lose my mind. But there must be something more to it. I refuse to believe it is just stress. Too much is going on to be a mere coincidence. That man, my old friend, he said the book will give me answers. I've never seen letters like that before, except that book I have hidden in Abnegation. But I could never really make out what it means. I never found anything in our Public Library to even come close to explaining what that language is. However, I can't wait any longer. It eats me from the inside that I am so close, and yet still don't know what all this means.

I swing my legs out of bed. I rip the electrodes off my chest, and the heart monitor starts an automatic alert, indicating a flat line. Only I didn't flat line, I just detached the damn thing. I stand up, albeit with difficulty. I wait a minute until I feel steady enough to make a step away from the bed, but once I am confident enough I won't trip, and fall, I start making my way toward the door. I open it slowly, and peek out. There is no one in sight. I sneak out of my room, and close it back behind me. I start walking away, a bit surprised, but at the same time relieved that I am able to escape. I hate the infirmary.

As I reach the door toward the Pit I realize something very important. I am wearing a hospital gown. Thankfully, I still have my panties on, and someone must have made sure that the gown is tied up in the back. I peek outside again, and inspect the Pit. There are people here, but not too many, and they all seem drunk. I ponder for a moment if I should just use my powers, but I decide against it. If I was able to survive showering with no curtains, I can survive this.

I slip out of the infirmary hallway, and close the door behind me. No one has noticed me yet. I start walking barefoot through the Pit, inwardly cursing that I didn't look for my boots. The cold floor sends shiver down my spine, and I feel a tingle in my nose, just as I am about to sneeze. And I do. Immediately, everyone's attention is on me. I stand still. Busted! I am so busted. I close my eyes for a moment, waiting for someone to call Tobias or the infirmary personnel or anyone actually. Other than a couple of them saying "Bless you" no one cares. They either really don't give a fuck about a girl in a hospital gown strutting around the Pit or they are too wasted to even notice. Either way, lucky me.

I hurry to the stairs that lead to Tobias's apartment, silently hoping he might be there. I miss him, and I want to kiss him. When I finally reach his door, I realize I won't be able to enter without a key. I reach for the doorknob, and concentrate on the lock. If there is a camera here, It will look as if I just open the door. No harm done.

I get inside, and I am met by darkness. I mentally search for Tobias, but he isn't here. I go toward the hiding place, and use my telekinetic power to retrieve the book from the ventilation shaft, making it land safely in my hands. This is crazy.

I go to sit on Tobias's bed, and turn on the light on his nightstand. I stare at the cover. There are letters on it, I can tell, but they make no sense to me. The man in my dream must be crazy. I can't read this. I stare at the book in my hands for a long while until I hear a voice. It's in my head.

"Tris?" Tobias asks frantically.

"I'm in your apartment," I reply. I hear him sigh in relief.

"Why'd you leave the infirmary?" he asks, disappointment laced with worry in his voice.

"I had to," is all I'm saying.

"I'll be right home," he says.

And so, I wait. I am still staring at the book in my hands when I hear him enter. I look up to see his worried face. I set the book aside on his bed, and stand up. He is so quickly next to me, wrapping me in his strong, safe arms, that I finally allow myself to breathe properly again.

"I was so worried," he tells me, pulling me closer, and kissing my crown.

"Tris!" I hear my uncle.

"Hide the book," I whisper to Tobias. Reluctantly, we let go of each other, and he takes his jacket off, putting it over the book, obscuring it from view.

I go toward my uncle, not wanting to lead him any further into Tobias's apartment. This is his home, not mine. And even if it were mine, I still am too hurt to let Bud back into my life. He hurt me too much. But as I look into my uncle's eyes, I see worry, regret, love, and a plea for forgiveness. I am not ready to forgive, but I can see his thoughts. I scan the details of his time apart from me. He is on Hana's side, still, because he loves her. He has always loved her. However, he loves me too, and is conflicted because of it. He wants to side with her completely, but he isn't as sure as she is about these new rules. He wants to bring peace to the Gifted, but struggles to see the right path.

"What do you want?" I hear the harshness in my voice. He flinches, and I feel bad, but I am a stubborn little shit, I know that, and I can't just give in. I can't show him how weak I really am. He can't know, because then she will, and I can't let her.

"Baby girl, I was worried," he starts saying. My heart aches at hearing him call me that. Before it was soothing, familiar, loving. Now it's only a bitter reminder of what our relationship looked like. I desperately want it back, the way it was, but he's got the ball. It is his move, not mine. Or so I tell myself.

"Thanks, but I'm fine." He frowns. I see others coming into Tobias's apartment, and I hate that they do. This is his place, his sanctuary. No one invited them. I want them to leave. I need to focus on my task. I need to read the book, and find out what that strange man meant.

"You got shot," he says desperate. I see from the corner of my eye that even Shauna and Zeke came, but they both stay in the back.

"So? Are you here because you are worried?" Of course he is. I know it even without using my powers, but I need him to see my pain, my own desperation, even if only slightly. My uncle will see past the anger, he always did. If he is really the same, he will see right through me. That was always his gift. To see me as I am, even when others didn't. "Or did Hana send you to finish the job?" I ask gritting my teeth. I want him to see that I am very much aware of what his girlfriend is planning.

He looks shocked, appalled, and even heartbroken. He shakes his head, and I take a moment to read Shauna's mind. She is unaware of Hana's intentions. I dig deeper. I see her having an argument with Zeke. She feels the same way as all of us do. Hana isn't herself anymore, but Zeke is in denial.

"How can you say that?" Bud asks me, trying to understand if this is a scheme.

"Why don't you ask Hana? Or better yet, ask Zeke," I say, and turn my attention to him. He looks absolutely stunned. At noticing Zeke, Tobias steps closer to me, his arm around my waist, keeping me close to him. Everyone's attention is now on Zeke. He looks from side to side, and wanting to avoid a confrontation, he goes to leave the apartment, but I shut the door with my mind, and paralyze him.

"Is that true, Zeke? Did Hana plan to kill my niece?" Bud asks incredulous.

"Of course, not. She is lying," Zeke tries to break free. I hear Tobias growl. "Can't you all see she is just like Ma says?" he asks desperately.

"No, she's not," Uriah defends me.

"You traitor!" Zeke seethes.

"We have evidence that Hana tried to kill Tris. Tris didn't use her powers," Lauren starts saying. "I overheard you talk to Hana, and she told you that if all fails, you needed to kill Tris yourselves," she adds. Zeke's eyes widen.

"You lie! You just sided with the freak!" he yells. Tobias steps forward, but I pull him back.

"Zeke, tell me the truth!" Bud demands.

"After I warned Tris, Four installed a camera over her bed in the dorm room. We have your precious Ma on camera trying to commit murder," Lauren spits.

"I can't believe that," Bud says desperately.

I pull away from Tobias, and walk calmly toward Zeke. I hear Tobias in my head, asking me to not go near him, but Zeke can't do anything. When I stand in front of him, I place both my hands against his head. I allow him to see every memory I have of Hana, good and bad, everything over the course of a lifetime. I show him how much she meant to me, how much she still means to me, I share my thoughts with him, telling him I don't believe that the sweet, caring woman that I came to love like a mother is a ruthless monster, wanting to kill me just because she is afraid I'm stronger than her. He lets tears fall, and I can feel him fight me. He turns into stone, the only way he is able to defend himself from others, but unlike the others I kept practicing my powers, I am in control, and I know that if I don't convince him now, he will go down a path that will lead him to misery. I can't allow that. I will do anything to get Hana back, and when I do, she'll be devastated to learn that she turned her own son into a murderer.

The stone skin is useless against me. Zeke realizes it, but it's easier for him to process everything. I don't let go of him until I am convinced he at least sees that his mother has changed. And in a bad way, no less. I can see his own desperation, and pain, I can see his doubts when she asked him to kill me. I can see how deep down he second guesses his mother, and how guilty he feels for doing so. Hana was always the strongest of the Pedrads, especially since her husband died. To Zeke, she is everything. He would choose her any day over anyone. And despite loving Shauna, he doubts he would choose her over his mother.

I break the mental link between me and Zeke, but don't let go of him. Instead, I pull him in my arms, and feel him change back into his human self. For a moment, he remains perfectly still, but then his arms wrap around me, and he starts to cry. Silently at first, and then hard, and loud. I let him, and hold him tighter. He is a good person, I always knew that. Stubborn, and stupid, but aren't we all?

"I'm so sorry, Tris," he whispers into my ear. "I wanted to believe Ma. She would never lie to me before. Why did she lie now?" he asks, confusion laced with anger in his voice. It's true, Hana always trusted him, always included him in the decision making process. But this isn't her.

"Zeke, I believe someone or something possessed Hana." He pulls away a little, and stares at me wide-eyed. I look at him, then Bud, and finally Shauna, who seem to have come closer to where we stand. "I can't explain it, but I truly believe it's not her. Or not entirely her. The others think I'm crazy," I say looking backwards, and some of them look away. I knew it. "Her entire behavior is completely different form the person we have known all our lives." Shauna nods, but both Bud and Zeke remain silent. I give Zeke a quick hug, and kiss his cheek, before returning next to Tobias. I face the group again, but mainly try to make the trio of "unbelievers" believe. "Hana is right about a few things. Like, I am very strong. I am. I'm not denying it. But this strength came in time, and through a lot of practice. Did Hana ever tell you that I spend almost just as much time in time bubbles as initiation lasts? I've spend that time wisely, learning about my powers, nurturing them, controlling them. When we first met, so to speak, revealing that we are all gifted, I had already practiced for weeks. I didn't just get my powers, snapped my fingers and that's that. I worked really hard. I didn't read people's minds because I wanted to, and until I could actually control my gift, I didn't even read anything. I just heard voices, voices that made me crazy." I let that sink in, but don't wait too long before I resume. "I don't know what happened to her, but somewhere between the first couple of meetings in the secret training room and Capture the Flag, something happened to her. And it only got worse after that. I refuse to believe that Hana just woke up one morning and had this idea in her head that we had to stop using our powers, and that it was better to get rid of me. I simply refuse."

Silence falls over us. Everyone is conflicted, confused, and angry. Each passing day brings more problems, and no solutions are in sight for any of them. Sometimes I wish I could go back to simpler times. When I was a little girl, and played with my brothers.

"We need to confront Hana," Bud finally says.

"And tell her what?" I ask sarcastically. "We are onto you. We know you want to kill me. Don't be ridiculous. She will deny it, she will manipulate you, and we will be no more closer to finding out what happened to her than we are right now," I shout. Tobias pulls me against his chest, rubbing my arms in an attempt to calm me down.

"And what do you suggest?" Bud asks angrily. "That we pretend nothing is happening? That we lock her up?"

"That's enough, Bud!" Tobias says in a threatening voice.

"You stay out of it. This is a family matter," Bud bites back. I won't let him treat Tobias that way. I step forward, and slap my uncle across the face as hard as I can.

"Don't you dare speak to him like that! He is family. My family! He is the only one who didn't believe Hana at all. He was the one who supported me from the moment Hana started acting weird. He didn't know if he could trust me, unlike those who knew me my whole life. But he was there for me. And I trust, and love him. So don't you dare speak ill of him!" I shout. I pant heavily, the anger coursing through my veins like lava, boiling my blood, and making me anxious, as if something is about to happen. "Don't you think I want all this to end? To have a normal life or as normal as I can get? Don't you think I wish sometimes I was a little girl again, carefree playing in the meadow, watching my brothers chase each other?"

I glare at him for a long while. He only looks at me bewildered. Did I say something crazy? I don't think so. I know none of us will ever be normal, but that doesn't mean we can't work toward a relative normal. I just want this whole situation with Hana to be over. We have enough problems as it is, with Jeanine and all. Not to mention Eric.

"Tris, what did you say?" Bud asks, confusion written all over his face. I glare at him. What is he trying now?

"What?"

"You said you watched your brothers," he says, his mouth slightly hanging open.

"Yeah. So?" I ask, not understanding his question. I know I was always his favorite, but he does know I have brothers, right?

Bud looks from me to Harrison and Lauren, and even to Tobias. His gaze falls again on me, but his silence, and the way he acts irritates me to no end.

"Tris, you only have one brother," he says softly.

"That's ridiculous, and you know it. I have two, always had them. Don't play games with me," I tell him angrily. He shakes his head, his eyes a little out of focus, and he seems to be tearing up.

"No, you have one. His name is Caleb," he says.

"You are out of your mind. I have two."

"What are their names?" he insists. I open my mouth to say their names, but I can't. Why can't I remember their names? I furrow my brows, and squeeze my eyes shut. I try to remember, but I can't. Why can't I remember?

"It's on the tip of my tongue," I say silently. I turn away from the others, moving toward the bed. I sit down, and push my brain to remember, but as hard as I try, I can't for the life of me. Have I forgotten my family? I am so frustrated I ball my left fist and bring it down on the bed hitting something harder than I expected. I look to my left and see Tobias's jacket, and remember the book. I uncover it, and suddenly the words make sense.

"A Brief History of Cer," I read out loud. I can read it. I really can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Who is Tris's "old friend"? Why did he tell her to read the book?
> 
> What did you think of Zeke's reaction?
> 
> Why did Tris got confused about her brother(s)?
> 
> Why can she read the book?
> 
> All this, and more will be revealed in the following chapters. In the meantime, I would love to hear your opinions.


	21. Stuff nightmares are made of

Tobias's POV

I watch Tris as she sits on the bed, seemingly lost. She picked up that book again, and mumbled something, but I couldn't hear her. And what was that about not knowing she only has one brother?

"What is wrong with her?" Bud asks in a whisper, and I turn to look at him, a scowl firmly on my face. I hate that he is here. And I hate that Zeke is here. They are on Hana's side.

"She is probably disorientated because of the trauma she suffered," Will offers as an explanation. As a former Erudite he has a better understanding about the human mind and body, and maybe he is right. I know Tris knows she only has one brother. However, there must be something else going on. She seems off, but I can't put my finger on it.

"You need to leave. All of you. Tris has been through enough today. She needs rest," I say sternly. I don't show emotion, I don't want to show any emotion either. Most of my friends nod their heads, but Christina hovers, staring at Tris, her eyes sad. I understand the feeling. But Tris needs me now. I look toward Zeke. He seems defeated, lost, alone. I push the urge to go to my friend deep down. Right now, the girl I love needs me more. She deserves my undivided attention.

Eventually, they all leave. The moment the last one is out, I close and lock the door, and go straight to where Tris is sitting, turning pages in the ancient book. I sit down next to her, and drape my arm around her. She immediately leans her head against my shoulder, and sighs.

"I'm such a mess," she says, her voice sounds defeated.

"You are tired. You went through a lot in the past twenty-four hours. You need to rest," I tell her firmly, but keep my voice gentle. I go to pull the book out of her hands, but she holds it tightly. Her head moves slightly, so that she can look up at me, and I look at her.

"I can read it now," she says, and then just stares. She can read it? Can read what? She holds up the book, and I look at the pages before me. Just like when we brought it home, the book contains symbols and letters I've never seen before. I don't understand.

"Tris, honey, you are tired. Let's go to bed," I plead with her. She instantly frowns.

"You don't understand," she tells me frustrated, standing up, and looking at me intently. "While I was out, in the infirmary, I had a strange dream," she starts telling me.

I listen to her as she tells me what she dreamt, about the spark she was chasing, about the explosion, and then all the stars she saw. She then tells me about the moment she kills me. I know about this nightmare. I've tried to convince her that it's just a dream, but the fact that it isn't a single occurrence makes me wonder. If Tris would have been anyone else, I wouldn't give it a second thought. But she is a telepath, a Gifted. And with everything going on, this might mean something.

"And then he showed me where I hid the book, and the scrolls. He told me to read the book, that it would explain things," she finishes telling me. She stops talking, and stares at me. I know she awaits a reaction from me, but honestly, I don't know what to say. I want to believe that she can read it. But why only her? It can't be just because she is a telepath. One doesn't influence the other. You either know a language or you don't. When I learned computer language, I didn't have knowledge of it beforehand. Now I do, and I can recognize variations of it. But Tris told me that other than the book she hid in Abnegation, she never saw anything like it.

What's more disturbing to me, is the fact she got so confused. It wasn't a big deal if you think about it, but for her to be so convinced she had two brothers, defending that statement so vehemently made me worry.

"What about your supposed two brothers?" I ask her, straying from the topic, but for now that's more interesting to me. Her eyes widen, and then get sad. She sits down next to me on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I don't know why I was so confused," she admits.

"You were so convinced about that, I started worrying." She turns her head to me, and gives me a shy smile.

"I think I remembered the image I saw when I touched Jack. Remember? I've told you I saw three kids, two boys and a girl. When I had that argument with Bud, I don't know, my mind was convinced they were my brothers. Anything he said about Caleb seemed stupid. But when he asked for their names, I couldn't remember them for the life of me. I tried really hard, but it felt like I just woke up from a dream," she tells me, and I nod. I understand what she is saying.

"It felt like the more you try to remember the less you can," I conclude, and she nods. "Tris, you've been through a lot today. You need to rest," I say, and get up. I take the book from her hands, and put it on the dresser nearby, before guiding her to the bed. I help her in, and am a little surprised when she doesn't protest. I don't say anything though.

"Will you stay with me?" she asks, her voice cracking a little.

"Always," I promise her. She gives me a little smile, and pats the bed next to her. I smile, go to turn off the light, check the door, and get rid of my clothes. I don't bother putting anything else on, and decide to sleep in my underwear. I climb into bed, and the moment I'm lying down Tris is in my arms, cuddled into my side. I breathe her in, allowing myself a moment of peace, giving thanks to the divine power that saved her life today. I could have lost her forever. The despair and pain I felt in the moments after I realized she got shot are indescribable. I've never felt like this before. Not even when my mother died. Or at least, I thought she did.

I push thoughts of my undead mother, and the terrible events of today out of my mind, and allow slumber to take me. I am in my apartment, with the girl I love lying peacefully in our bed. Huh. This is the first time I refer to it as "our bed". But I guess I want it to be. I want to give her everything that I have, just like she gave me everything. The few times she shared memories from her childhood with me are precious. At first I felt guilty and jealous. Guilty because those were intimate thoughts, jealous because I never had anything like that. But I realized quickly she didn't show me those memories because she wanted to taunt me. Tris would never hurt me like that. She wanted to give me the equivalent of what I shared with her in my fear landscape. We swore to be honest with each other, and I feel guilty I haven't told her yet about Evelyn. But for the past few weeks thoughts of my mother haven't even crossed my mind.

I cast all these thoughts away, wanting to get a few hours of sleep, before another day starts. Tomorrow will be more uncertain than today was, but I need to be strong. I need to be strong for her.

When I open my eyes again, it seems to me I just closed them a moment ago, but the bright sun shining through the window is proof of the day outside. I turn on my side where I know Tris must lie, but as I pat the bed I realize she is gone. I sit up in a panic, afraid something must have happened to her while I was passed out. My mind races, but as I start making war plans in my head to get my girlfriend back, I hear the shower. I sigh in relief. She is in the bathroom. I scold myself for jumping to conclusions. She is strong and brave, and she would never allow anyone to take her. Not without a fight that is. I get out of bed, go to the dresser, and look for clothes. I set them on the bed, waiting for Tris to finish in the bathroom.

Just as I hear the water stop running, a knock on my door announces a visitor. I groan in frustration, and quickly pull on the black jeans and tee shirt I wore yesterday to go check the door. As I open it, I find my best friend standing there, his eyes bloodshot, dark circles beneath them, his entire body slumped forward.

"Can I come in?" he asks, his voice defeated. On one hand, I want to say no, because Tris is here, and I don't want her to face him. On the other, he is my friend, and he looks like he had a rough night.

"Good morning, Zeke," I hear Tris from behind me.

I turn around and find my girlfriend fully clothed, standing right behind me in an amazing outfit. It looks similar to the one she was wearing yesterday, but the top is completely sleeveless. It's basically just a black overbust corset with an elaborated design decorating its surface with a few black rhinestones here and there, creating a simple pattern. Her pants are tight, and the knee high boots she is wearing make her seem taller. She looks stunning. Like a warrior goddess. Fuck! She's so hot!

"Four, why don't you invite Zeke inside?" she asks, when I still don't say anything. How can I? My mind went blank when all the blood rushed into my groin area. "I'm going to dry my hair in the bathroom so you guys have some privacy," she says, and leaves the room.

I am still staring after her, drooling more precisely, when Zeke coughs. I turn around to see him smirk a little, but the look in his eyes gives away how miserable he is. I ask him inside, and offer him a seat at the kitchen table. He sits down, and declines the coffee I am yet to make. I need it though.

"Four, I need to talk to you seriously," he says, as he looks at me while I prepare the coffee, "but before we get to that. Damn! Your woman is hot!" he says, and I scowl at him. I know she's hot, but I don't like the way he said that. "Lighten up. I'm not interested in her. I love Shauna, you know that," he adds when he sees my face.

"What do you want here, Zeke?" I ask, not at all friendly. I want to kick myself for being this way, but he has to know that I can't really trust him right now, and making perverted comments about my girlfriend isn't helping. He gulps audibly, but then nods his head.

"Look, man. This ain't easy for me," he starts saying, but then looks away.

"Tobias, hear him out. He is your friend," I hear Tris in my head.

"He is on Hana's side," I argue back.

"I'm not so sure. Be his friend. He needs you," she tells me gently. I sigh.

"I wanted to believe Ma," he continues. He turns his head to me, and I can see the conflict in his eyes. "She was so convincing," he adds, and I raise an eyebrow. He hangs his head. "Fine. I allowed myself to be convinced. It's true Ma said those things to me, about killing Tris. But I told her I wouldn't do it. That this wasn't her, that she shouldn't say things she couldn't take back," he explains, his words rushed, almost as if he is afraid if he doesn't say them quick enough I won't believe him.

I sigh again. I lean against the chair I'm sitting on, taking a sip from the freshly brewed coffee, and let my friend tell me everything he went through since this whole mess started. I am surprised to hear how soon he started second guessing his mother, but Hana was always there for him, always the voice of reason. So, in his mind, it must have been him, not her. His logic is twisted, but I get where he is coming from. I never had that problem with my parents. Between Evelyn abandoning me, and Marcus beating me up, I never had anyone care for me enough to be an actual role model. I will always second guess their intentions.

"And obviously, seeing how strong Tris is didn't make Ma's argument less effective," he continues. I think of all he is saying. Tris herself said that too. She is strong, very powerful really. But I also know how hard she works to maintain control over her powers, how much she struggles, how weak she is after she is forced to use her mental powers. She avoids using her powers as much as possible, but uses them just enough to be in control. It's a harder feat than it sounds. She always has to keep a balance between what she wants and what she has to do.

"Zeke, do you really believe Tris is the spawn of Satan Hana told you about?" I ask him pointedly. Zeke chuckles a little, but shakes his head.

"Truth be told, I don't really know Tris. But I know Ma. I don't know what happened to her, but that's not her."

"We'll get her back," Tris suddenly says, after emerging from my bathroom. Her hair is braided in a sophisticated fashion. She used some of the make-up Christina made her buy. It's not much, just a dark eye shadow and black eyeliner that brings out the stormy gray-blue color of her eyes, and a soft pink lipstick. She is beautiful without any make-up, but right now she is Dauntless.

"Damn girl! You sure ain't no Stiff no more," Zeke says in his usual jovial way. Tris smirks, but I can see the blush on her cheeks. I punch my friend's arm, and he protests.

"Didn't I just tell you not to do that?" I ask him with a frown on my face.

"No, no. Let the man talk," Tris says, coming closer to where we both sit. She places her hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly, but turns her body slightly toward Zeke. "You were saying how awesome I look," she says to Zeke with a smile. I roll my eyes, and pull her down to sit on my lap.

"Tris, I'm sorry," Zeke says remorseful, but Tris shakes her head.

"You were looking out for your mom. I would have done the same, if roles were reversed. The only thing I can do is share my thoughts and memories with you, so you can see I'm not the person Hana says I am. I know I am powerful, but that doesn't mean I am a bad person. Jeanine is a regular person, and we know she is responsible for so many deaths already. That must count as being worse than me," she says with a chuckle, but I can hear the insecurity in her voice. I don't get to reassure her, because Zeke grabs both her hands.

"Tris, so far, all you did was learn about your powers, and unlike us, you didn't chicken out before Ma. You kept practicing. You are fearless, and strong, and I am ashamed I doubted you."

"I only hope that from now on you will trust me more. All I want is to get Hana back, the real her," she vows, and Zeke nods.

I decide to leave Tris alone with Zeke so that they can speak some more. I think it's a good thing he actually wants to get to know her better. I want to trust that he isn't secretly spying on us, but between the sincerity in his eyes, and Tris's reassurance that he is honest, I allow myself to think that I just got my best friend back. I only hope he and my girlfriend will get along from here on out.

I hurry into the bathroom, and take the fresh clothes I had already picked out with me. I turn on the shower, and step inside, making sure I don't waste too much time. On one hand, I can't wait to go back to holding Tris, especially now since the whole faction knows about us, but more so because Max will make an announcement in about an hour. I get dressed, and as I brush my teeth, I wonder if I should shave.

"Don't. I like that scruff on you," Tris says in my head. I smirk a little. Our relationship has become more intimate these past two days, without actually being intimate. It's familiar, and I welcome it. She is my family for so many reasons, but mainly for the love and support she always gives me. She makes me weaker and stronger, and she makes me want to be a better man. I still have to tell her one last secret, and I sigh. This won't be pretty. I hope she won't hate me for keeping this from her. But frankly, I didn't even give it much thought. The person involved in this secret means little to nothing anymore.

I exit the bathroom, and find Zeke telling Tris a story, and as I approach the two after getting my watch, phone and keys from the nightstand, I recognize the story.

"She was so upset, she yelled at me for introducing her to Four, despite being it her wish in the first place." I cringe at the memory. The girl he is referring to was the friend of one of his dates before he and Shauna got together. He always made it a point to find me a girlfriend, despite my repeated rejections. In the end, I agreed, but within the first few minutes of her being alone with me I must have said something to upset her. I watch as Tris laughs wholeheartedly, and I am torn between being upset with them for laughing at me, and relieved she isn't jealous.

"This is so him," Tris says, but laughs even harder when she sees my scowl.

"Not funny," I mutter. She stops laughing, but the smile doesn't leave her face. She stands up, and takes a couple of steps toward me. She immediately wraps her arms around my waist, and looks into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to laugh at you," she starts saying, but I can tell she has a hard time holding back.

"You are not very nice," I tease. Her eyes widen in shock, but then a mischievous grin appears on her face.

"You are not very nice either," she counters. "But I think this is why we are so good together. We are both not very nice people," she concludes. I laugh at her summary, and then kiss her forehead. It feels good to let go of my worries for a moment, even if just for a brief one.

The three of us leave our apartment, and since Shauna is already waiting for Zeke in the cafeteria, he runs ahead. We've decided that he shouldn't tell his mother about our secret meeting, and just stays close to her. Despite an initial argument, which I understand on his part, he agreed. It isn't so much spying on Hana, as it is making sure she doesn't commit a crime which she will most definitely regret later.

I hang back with Tris, together we discuss her first appearance after the fight, our admission, and her getting shot. At the thought of that I flinch. It doesn't go unnoticed by her, but she doesn't say anything. She squeezes my hand a little tighter, reassuring me she is here, and she is alright.

We can already hear the laughter, and the loud chatter of the Dauntless community inside the cafeteria as we approach it. We stop right in front of the door, and I give Tris a moment to take a deep breath. Until now, I've pushed aside everything that happened prior to the shooting, nothing was more important than Tris's health and security. I watch her carefully as she takes a deep breath. She reaches out her hand to push open the door, but then stops.

"Be brave," I whisper to her before kissing her temple. She nods without saying a word, and pushes the door open.

The moment we are inside, silence falls. It is so rare to see the rowdy Dauntless crowd silent, that it gives me goose bumps. Yesterday, after the fight, the people in the Pit seemed enthusiastic about me and Tris. But those were about four dozen people. Since then, the whole compound learned of our relationship. I'm not so sure anymore they will accept it.

"You guys look like you saw a ghost," Tris says, breaking the silence, and a few people start laughing.

We start walking toward the table where our friends already sit, every pair of eyes trained on us. I feel so uncomfortable. I wish they would say something, anything. Just get it out. Tell us what you think, so that we can move on.

"Hey, Four," a guy in the back, with a large snake tattoo on his right forearm, and about half a dozen piercings on his face shouts from the back. I look at him, waiting for him to continue. "Congrats, man. Your woman is not only smokin' hot, she is a kickass Dauntless too," he yells, and the crowd starts cheering. I sigh in relief, glad that the general mood has returned. I wait for Tris to slide in, but she remains rooted, staring at the crowd. She then climbs up on the bench, and whether she used her powers to silence them, or the crowd just turned quiet to hear her, they are all looking at her. I sit down, realizing she wants to tell them something.

"I guess you all know," she says, and sighs. "I didn't cheat, Four didn't cheat, and I'm willing to even go under truth serum if you want me to. I can't help falling in love, just as much as you can't either. I'm not sorry I have feelings for Four. If this would have been after initiation no one would give a fucking damn thing about us," she gestures between her and me. While I agree with that, I feel myself getting nervous. Did she just tell them to put her under truth serum? Is she nuts? "Most of you checked out the fights I had during Phase 1. Some of you saw me fight yesterday against Eric," she continues, and at the mention of that bastard's name, I cringe. I ball my fists, and try to calm myself down. It doesn't really work. "I can prove that I deserve being here. I don't need or want anyone's help, especially not my boyfriend's. I'm not some wuss who can't handle herself," she says, her voice steadily rising. "I know that some think Four helped me during Phase 2 with the sims," she starts saying, and my eyes widen. I never heard that before. "The reason why I'm so good, is the Haunted House," she says, leaving us all dumbfounded. I look up at her. She is still staring toward the crowd. What the hell has that Halloween scare house to do with anything?

"Six years ago," Lauren starts talking. I look toward her, and see that she got on the bench on the other side of the table. "Tris and I snuck out of our respective factions, and went exploring. We found a small abandoned house near Navy Pier. We went inside, and explored it. It was creepy as fuck, and it was perfect for a prank. But as we waited for my dad and Bud to come get us, we started telling each other ghost stories. We made a pact, then and there. We would turn that house into a Haunted House. And we've been doing so ever since. It was our idea, and we are behind the scary locations during Halloween," Lauren tells us with a wide grin. I look up at Tris, who has a sheepish grin on her face. She squeezes my shoulder a little, before returning her gaze to the crowd.

"Lauren and I watched a ton load of scary movies over the years," Tris picks up. "We needed ideas, and inspiration to make better Haunted Houses. But at some point all those movies scared the bejesus out of us. So, we came up with a chant that we would repeat anytime we got scared. It doesn't do anything other than help us focus again, slow down our heart rate."

"I used it during sims. Not at first, because I wasn't aware," Lauren explains. "But whether it was a sim, real life, or whatever, I always had that chant in my head, and I told Tris to remember it too. If that's considered cheating, giving a friend an advice, then call me a cheater," Lauren says loud, but confident.

"What's the chant?" someone asks.

"Don't be a wuss! Zombies will eat you faster," Tris says with a chuckle. For a moment there's silence again.

"And that actually works?" someone new asks.

"Sometimes," Tris says, making a face. "But it's hard to figure that out in a sim. It's not like I'm watching a movie or walk through a scary part of the city. I have no clue, and that's what makes it so damn difficult," she says, and pouts a little, while scrunching her nose.

"It worked for me a few times," Lynn suddenly stands up, and says. "Lauren told me to think of something that makes me feel brave. I followed that advice, and sometimes it helps in a sim, others not so much. I guess it depends on how deep the fear goes," Lynn offers, but looks at Lauren for some sort of reassurance.

One by one, more Dauntless members tell about their own experiences during their fear simulations. It seems more people use a similar method to Lauren and Tris than I thought. Both girls sit down, allowing the Dauntless to carry on in their usual manner. I just stare from Lauren to my girlfriend, and ask myself, why did no one tell me about that?

"The chant or the Haunted House?" Tris asks in a whisper.

"Uh, both."

"I wanted to tell you during our meeting in the theater. But then things took a very wrong turn, and I forgot." I look at her, her eyes betray her concern. "I'm sorry." I shake my head, before kissing her forehead.

"It's okay, I was just surprised."

"So, you guys are what nightmares are made of?" Uriah says, changing the subject.

Soon, the girls tell us all about their adventures with each Haunted House, and promise us to give us a premiere tour of their latest project. It is good to see Tris smile, and forget about our troubles for a moment. I only wish our lives could always be this way, planning silly things, enjoying our time with our friends, and obviously with each other.

In these past two weeks we've been through more than other couples in a decade. I hope that now I will be able to take my girl out on a proper date without fearing to get caught and made factionless. Just as I start enjoying my meal, I see Max, Jackson, and Mason stand on the top stairs to the cafeteria, the path that leads to the Pire. I lock eyes with Max, and he jerks his head to the side, signaling I should join them. I nod. I give Tris a little head's up, and a peck on the cheek, before going to stand next to my fellow leaders. I wonder what now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Who would have thought Tris is into Haunted Houses?
> 
> What do you think Dauntless leadership wants to announce? I am curious to hear from you.


	22. Law and Order

Tris's POV

I watch as Tobias hurries up the narrow stairwell until he joins the other leaders. They all look serious, and a little exhausted. I watch as Tobias talks to Max, and I fight the urge to listen in. Looking them over I watch as Jackson just watches over the crowd, while Mason glares at me. I hold his gaze a little until I take advantage of Lynn asking me a question. I quickly tell her to continue telling me something boring, because I needed to hear something. She immediately got the hint, and I started pretending listening to what she was saying.

What I really did, was looking through Mason's mind. That man is just like Eric, I conclude after seeing some of his memories. A lot of them involve similar shit Eric pulled with the initiates, but also him aggressively "courting" Dauntless girls. I stop from digging further, not sure I want to see something like that. But then a thought he has catches my attention.

"That stupid prick! Put all our plans in jeopardy because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Who the fuck cares if Four fucks one of the initiates? By the end of initiation they will all be under our control," he thinks, and just as I want to dig further, Max speaks up.

"As you all know, yesterday one of your leaders shot one of this year's initiates," Max starts. I can tell he is uncomfortable. He might not like Eric much, but being put in the position to admit to the entire faction that one of them tried to kill me, must be tough. I would feel sympathy for him, would it not be for the fact that he conspires with Jeanine to kill the Gifted. "It was unfortunate that things turned out this way." What? Eric had all intentions to kill me. It wasn't an accident. "Eric was taken to Candor for security reasons," Max says, and glances at Tobias. I can only assume Tobias went berserk and tried to kill Eric. "The interrogation will take place this afternoon," Max adds, and as he opens his mouth to say something else, someone stands up, and asks a very pertinent question.

"What's there to ask? Eric shot the girl. I saw it," a Dauntless man, in his mid-thirties says. Mason narrows his eyes, and goes to "explain".

"It was obviously a stressful situation for Eric to lose his head like that," he says with an evil smirk on his face. What? Are you kidding me?

"Poor Eric," I say sarcastically, and suddenly all eyes are on me. If I wouldn't get glimpses of what the leaders are planning to do to get Eric off the hook, I would shut up.

"There something you want to tell us, initiate?" Mason spits. Yup, definitely like Eric.

"Explain to me, what was so stressful for a leader, who has all the perks of his position, and doesn't have to worry about making a living," I say and look around, but I think people get the point I'm trying to make here. "To pick a gun and shoot someone unarmed, that's an act of cowardice!" I say loudly, and most people join in. I watch as Mason gets angry, and Max and Jackson exchange a look. I quickly tell Tobias in my mind to stay cool, and trust me. He gives the slightest of nods, and I wait for the crowd to calm down.

"May I remind you, Tris," Mason practically spits my name, "that you are just an initiate, and Eric is a leader?"

"May I remind you that I am the victim, and he is an attempted murderer?" I ask, glaring at Mason. He seems taken aback for a moment, before opening his mouth, but before he can argue, I continue. "The fact that I survived, doesn't change the intent behind Eric's action. I may not be Candor, but I did learn a thing or two in school." The Dauntless start to cheer again. Max calms them down, and addresses the crowd again.

"Nevertheless, Eric is a leader, and before passing judgment, we need to consider all the facts. We will bring him back to Dauntless, and leadership will interrogate him, and investigate the issue."

"So, it is okay for him, as a leader I mean, to just shoot people?" I challenge. I know I'm walking on thin ice, but if my gut is right, and it usually is, this will be a bigger step toward ensuring support from the faction, than rolling over and letting the leaders decide this.

"Of course not," Max growls. Obviously, he doesn't like it that I challenge him.

"Enough, girl! This is our decision. We are the leaders of Dauntless," Mason shouts.

"Fine," I say, raising my arms in surrender. "Your funeral," I add, before sitting down. I wait a moment for them to react, and Mason doesn't disappoint.

"What is that supposed to mean, Stiff?" he yells at me.

"First off, I'm not a Stiff. Secondly, you do know that while I'm not a member, any crime committed by me or against me is prosecuted by the City Council, and investigated by Candor?" I say, leaving everyone speechless. I keep my face straight. This is so much better than I thought. I am so glad mom made me read books while I was sick or injured as a kid.

I look toward the leaders who seem flabbergasted. Mason can't contain his anger, and calls me a liar. Thankfully, several members who transferred from Candor confirm my statement. Taken by surprise, leadership takes a few steps back, standing together to discuss the matter. I feel sorry for Tobias standing there, having to hear them badmouth me.

"This is all your fault, Four!" Mason yells, trying to punch Tobias. Max holds him back, and Tobias just glares at him. "You and your whore are responsible for this mess. You should be made factionless, you traitor!" Mason keeps shouting. Damn! Men are really idiots sometimes. Thankfully for me, this goes even better than I ever hoped for. It's like the more they try to kick me down, the more this faction appreciates me. I bite my cheek to not burst out laughing.

I watch as Max and Jackson pull Mason away from the cafeteria, and Tobias makes his way back to the table. Everyone started talking, but I'm not paying attention. I am trying to connect my mind to Jack. This might be difficult, since it usually only works long distance with people that I have a personal connection with, but to my surprise, it works rather quickly.

Thankfully, he is alone in his office, and not at all surprised to hear me. I quickly brief him about what happened, and he promises to personally investigate the issue. Knowing that Eric is involved in Jeanine's plot to kill us, he is more than happy to take a little revenge on him.

"How are you feeling though?" he asks in my mind, just as Tobias leans in to kiss my cheek.

"I'm fine. Thanks to a friend who makes clothes that act like body armor, I was spared being killed."

"I'm glad. I'll keep you posted. Should I call Four or?" he starts asking. I don't think phones would be a good idea, and I tell him so.

"Just concentrate on me, and I will hear you eventually. And another thing. During the first hearing, try to find a way to get me to testify under truth serum," I tell him. "Trust me. I read a few years ago that there is a way to interrogate both victim and perpetrator. I think it is called Truth Finder," I say, and he confirms. "Who makes up these names?" I ask with a chuckle, and he reciprocates. We decide to keep in touch, and before long I break the connection. I quickly brief Tobias of what I was doing and he only nods.

I still have to go through my fear landscape before it is time to go to Candor. Unlike me, the victim in this case, the other initiates are not allowed to leave the compound. I think it's better this way. The Gifted can look out to see what people say about all this, while those who I don't like, namely Peter, Molly, Drew, and Al are forced to stay here, and not be able to spew their venom.

Just like yesterday, Lauren calls me in for my fear simulation. I sit in the recliner, and wait for her to inject me with the serum. My mind is still unfocused because of yesterday's events, but those thoughts are quickly expelled as I find myself in a glass tank slowly filling with water.

Four minutes and twelve seconds. My time in the sim. It's a good time. It's low enough to be considered good, but high enough to not rouse suspicion. Lauren clears me, and helps me out of the room. I decide to sit down, and wait for Christina to come out of the other room where someone I don't know took over for Tobias. Since he officially resigned he can no longer do this job. I lean back in the chair next to Myra, who gives me a shy smile when I look at her.

"For the record, I think you are brave, and you belong here," I hear Edward from next to Myra. I lean forward a little so that I can see him, and he smiles at me. I nod my head in acknowledgement.

"I can't believe you are dating Four," Myra suddenly says with a chuckle. I look at her, and study her face. She doesn't seem upset, and her comment didn't strike me as mean.

"Yeah. Once you get past the brooding, he is a different person," I say, feeling the need to defend my boyfriend. Though, I won't get into too many details. The image he has is for a reason the way it is. No need for me to tell them what a romantic sweetheart he really is.

"Watch your back, though," Edward adds, his tone, while a warning, is actually kind. I look at him again, and nod for him to continue. "I personally believe you, I mean, I don't really know either you or Four. But I've seen your progress, and there isn't much he could do to get you a higher ranking. I watched all your fights, and I saw you beat up Eric. You clearly are an excellent fighter. Same goes for knife throwing. And the sims, I actually timed everyone who went in before me," he says surprising me a little. "Your times, while a bit better than others, aren't that much better."

"Yeah, plus there are days you really look worse than anyone else, so I can't imagine you would fake that," Myra says sympathetically. "That method you said you used, I've tried something similar."

From then on we talk leisurely, although the topic is still initiation. I'm glad that at least Myra and Edward are understanding, and don't think I cheated. And that's saying something. They were both Erudite, but I checked their minds, and their words are genuine. I smile at them.

It doesn't take long, and Christina comes out. She looks dreadful. Color has positively left her face, her forehead is damp, she is slightly shaking. I stand up to help her, and when she refuses to sit down on one of the chairs, I take her to the dorm room. As I round the corner, I see Uriah, Marlene and Lynn coming toward us, and seeing our friend so vulnerable, they help me get her to her bed. We help Christina lie down, and the rest of us just sit around her. Thankfully, the dorm room is deserted. I am really in no mood to run into Peter and his gang.

"You should pack your stuff," Marlene suddenly says, confusing me a little. Seeing the look in my eyes she chuckles. "Didn't Four say you would stay at his place from now on?" she asks with a chuckle. Yeah, right. I completely forgot.

"Mar is right. I'm sure that while most of Dauntless is thrilled that Four finally has a woman, there are still douchebags like Eric and Peter who hate you guys. You better stay out of trouble. And with all this shit going on, I don't see how Max and the other leaders could tell you guys no. I mean, after all, you almost got killed," Lynn chimes in. I nod my head.

"How'd you know about that law?" Christina suddenly asks.

I tell my friends how I used to get in trouble a lot. Marlene and Uriah already know, and I had to promise Christina and Lynn to tell them once we were in a place where no one could eavesdrop on us. Since it happened a lot for me to break a bone or two, I spent a lot of my childhood in bed. To avoid slacking off or getting bored, mom brought me books from the library to read. At first novels, but as I sometimes overheard (eavesdropped) conversations between my parents, I heard dad talk about a lot of legal things. I got curious, and soon I read many of the law books. I might not be good enough to be a lawyer, but I know a lot of things to get me out of trouble when necessary. Having had time to get to know me a little, my friends don't seem half as surprised as I thought they'd be. I laugh with them, when they tell me how they saw the leaders' reactions.

My friends and I hurry to the cafeteria to meet up with Will, Tobias, and the rest of our circle of friends. We sit down, and I am surprised that Tobias isn't here yet. I serve myself a burger, and as I am about to take the first bite, Tobias comes to the table with two slices of Dauntless cake, one for each of us. He slides in next to me, staying quiet, but I can tell something is bothering him. I don't say anything. I let him come to me when he is ready. And I know he will.

We finish our meal, and Tobias informs everyone that the interrogation will take place at two p.m. I check my watch, and realize we need to get going soon to catch a train that takes us to Candor. We both say goodbye to our friends, although some of them who are members already will probably join us. I don't think much about it, because I feel Tobias's hand all sweaty, and I know something is up with him. I so badly want to ask him why he is so nervous, but keep quiet. A thought then crosses my mind. What if it has something to do with us, our relationship? I know he says he loves me, and I believe him. But since he met me, he only has more trouble on his hands than before.

"Stop it, Tris," he stops abruptly, and turns around. We are almost outside of the compound, near the tracks. I look at him, and realize he heard me again. Damn it! Why does this keep happening?

"Babe, I know something's bothering you, and I really don't want to pry, but I'm worried. Is it us? Did I do something?" I ask, and I can hear my insecurities seeping through. Tobias cups my face, and smiles softly at me, before placing a chaste kiss to my lips. When we part, I stare into his deep blue eyes, and feel like I could get lost in them.

"We are okay. Even if anything else isn't, but we are okay," he says confidently. "There is something I didn't tell you until now," he starts saying, and I can literally feel his anxiety taking over. However, he masks it well. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you, it just didn't come up, and I had already pushed it out of my mind long before we even met." That explanation leaves me even more confused than I was before. "I'll tell you everything soon. Just trust me," he asks, and I agree. How can I not? He trusted me each time I asked for it. It is only fair I return the favor. But whatever it is, I am here for him, and I tell him so. He smiles, kisses me fiercely on the lips, slipping in some tongue, and as we moan into the other's mouth, someone coughs, startling us. Harrison and Dwayne stand behind me, and I can hear Tobias growl in frustration.

"Relax, Romeo. You'll have plenty of time for this later. Now we gotta make sure that scum Eric stays in prison, but preferably gets executed," Dwayne says, and walks past us. We break apart, and follow the two older Dauntless men to the tracks. Off we go to Candor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What about that Mason... thinks he is so smart. Well, that backfired quickly. I wonder what Eric's interrogation will reveal. What do you think will come to light? Will he be forcved to admit he kills Gifted? Will he reveal the names of his co-conspirators?


	23. Too much honesty can get you killed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting this. Last week my mind came up with something, and wouldn't let me go until I wrote it down. So far, it's a series of ideas written randomly about an alternative version of how FourTris gets together. Maybe a story will form from it, maybe it's just scrambled crap inside my head. We'll see.

The train ride is filled with anxiety. Tobias doesn't know it yet, and I so hope he doesn't hear my thoughts right now. At that, I chuckle. Tobias and the other two are two engrossed in their little conversation to notice me. It is funny that I worry about Tobias listening in on my thoughts when I'm the telepath.

I gave the idea of a double interrogation a lot of thought. There is only so much Jack or anyone can ask Eric without giving away they know more than they let on. But I already am on Eric's shit list, and I know my simple presence pisses him off. I've learned, that when people are angry or aggravated they tend to say stupid things before their brain catches up and stops them. Jack reassured me a moment ago that he would conduct the interrogation, and he already proposed a double interrogation to his fellow leaders. They accepted first because this is an unusual situation, and secondly because of who I am. Not only am I the girlfriend of a Dauntless leader, but I am also the daughter of an Abnegation leader. While I did in fact leave my old faction behind in many ways, Candor are neither too fond of Faction Before Blood, nor do they agree with the Erudite very much. And thanks to Eric's "gorgeous" personality he managed to piss off a few high ranking Candor as well. Plus, it must be exciting for the Candor to be involved in a case like this.

I look at the train door, and realize we still have some way to go until we reach Candor HQ. I contact Jack again, and go with him over the plan once again. Most of it will fall in place as we move on, and he assured me he would inoculate me against the truth serum before the interrogation starts.

"You okay?" Tobias asks, wrapping his arms around me from behind. He rests his chin on my shoulder, and I smile to myself. I never realized just how much it bothered me before when we were in public and couldn't touch each other. I turn my head slightly, and kiss his cheeks, which makes him smile.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. Listen," I start telling him. I don't want to lie to him, but he needs to keep his cool.

"What?" he asks, his tone a little less affectionate than a moment ago.

"Jack and I have a plan to get as much information from Eric as possible. You have to promise me not to freak out right now. Okay?" I ask hopeful.

"You know, it bothers me that you think I will automatically freak out," he tells me, his annoyance clear in his voice.

"That's because I know you, and how protective you are," I counter, and he stiffens a little.

"What did you do this time?" he asks me as if I was a child. I huff a little, but he only pulls me closer to him, telling me without words that he loves me, and wants me safe. I can't be mad at him for that. But I won't let him off easily either.

"Jack asked for a double interrogation. It's called Truth Finder. In a case like this one, there is a way to find out more than one side of the truth by interrogating both aggressor and victim under truth serum." I let that sink in. I feel Tobias holding me even tighter, before his grip loosens a little, probably realizing he would hurt me. He didn't. His touch is never painful or repulsive. If anything, I crave it.

"You want to go under truth serum?" he finally asks. "Isn't that risky?" he asks me concerned.

"Jack will inoculate me beforehand. We figured that while we have Eric where we want him, even with the truth serum coursing through his veins he could lead the conversation into a different direction. I mean, sure, there is no doubt he is guilty of shooting me. But just as Max said, they want to go to the bottom of it. That was their argument in front of the Candor leaders yesterday when they petitioned Eric to be tried in Dauntless."

"So, we use that against them. How?" Tobias asks curiously.

"The focus of Eric's interrogation won't be so much as to if he did it, but the why. Jack knows what to ask, but there are things he knows that he can't justify knowing, therefore can't ask Eric to tell us about it. Usually, Candor doesn't ask for a double interrogation where victim and aggressor face each other because it is too traumatic for the victim. But in this case, he will ask publicly for my participation, which I will do. The reason for this kind of interrogation is to get Eric angry. He won't be able to keep himself back from blurting out secrets. The truth serum in itself won't allow him, but there are more ways to hide something. Eric can only answer direct questions."

Tobias remains quiet for a while. He must be thinking it over. Knowing him, he is probably thinking of reasons why I shouldn't do it at all, how it is too dangerous, but he surprises me with a small peck on my cheek.

"You are very brave, but also very reckless. But you are certainly made for Dauntless."

"Thank you. It'll be fine. Think about how much our faction hates Eric, but also how willingly they were to be on our side despite us breaking the rule of not getting involved. They freaking congratulated you as if you just killed a dragon or something," I say jokingly, and try to imagine Tobias really killing a mythical beast like that. But somehow, the image that appears isn't so far-fetched anymore. I can see him slay the beast, cut off its head, and laying it in front of my feet as a tribute. What the hell? Where did this come from?

"Tris, we gotta jump," he says. I look out, and surely, we are just rounding Candor. We get ready to jump, and one by one, all of us get off.

We walk in silence at first, until I realize more Dauntless had boarded the train, but were in different cars. As we approach the building, I see my parents standing there with Jack, talking, and a smile creeps up my face. But just then, Tobias stops abruptly, pulling me back slightly. I turn to look at him, and his gaze is fixated on the image ahead. I turn my eyes back to the Candor building, and realize why he stopped. Marcus. Damn it! I didn't even consider him being here. I'm an idiot.

"Tobias," I whisper, and he looks at me.

"I'm fine. Let's go," he says, and tries to move, but I stubbornly stand in front of him.

"No, it's not fine. Whatever happens," I say, and force him to look at me. "I love you, and I am here for you. I know the truth, and I know you. You are a wonderful man, despite your father." I know how much he still fears his father, but at the same time, he fears becoming like him. It might not be in his fear landscape, but the simple fact that Marcus is there is enough. He is strong, brave, kind, loving, loyal, and selfless. All the things Marcus will never be. And it hurts me that he gives his father so much power over him. Tobias stares at me for a minute, his eyes conflicted, but then a small smile finds its way to his lips, and before I know it, his lips crash on mine, and we lose ourselves in a passionate kiss. We only part when we hear my father call my name.

"I love you, so much," he says to me, before we let go of each other. I turn around to look at my father, who to my surprise came toward us, with an angry expression on his face.

"What is going on, Beatrice?" he demands, and Tobias automatically transforms into Four. I squeeze his hand, and mentally tell him to knock it off. Dad is just surprised to see me with a boy. I feel the tension slowly leave his body, but not completely.

"Tris, Four, good. You are here," Jack says. I look toward him, and see mom winking at me. I thank her in my mind, and she nods slightly. This isn't the time to talk to my dad about the fact that I'm dating someone. On the other hand, it'll come up during my interrogation.

"I'll take care of your father," mom tells me in my mind.

Jack ushers us inside, and as we approach the interrogation room, we round a corner, and Jack plunges a needle into my wrist. Normally, all serums or antiserums are administered in the neck for maximum effectiveness, but we don't want anyone to be alerted as to why I get inject in the first place.

"Show is about to start," Jack says, a playful smirk on his face.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Tobias asks.

"No," Jack answers honestly. I groan a little. "But it's the best we can do."

Reluctantly, Tobias agrees. There is no other option at the moment, and we need answers, and we need them now.

We enter the large Candor auditorium, and take seats near Max and Jackson. They must have come with one of the Dauntless cars, instead of taking the train. I don't really care. I purposefully sit next to Max, wanting to show that despite our dispute in the cafeteria, I respect him. I greet both leaders, and wait for Tobias to sit next to me to grab his hand. He squeezes lightly, before lifting it to his lips, kissing the knuckles. I smile at him. I can see mom, dad, and even Marcus sitting on the far left, mom smiling at us, while dad glaring at Tobias. Boy, this won't be easy. My gaze then shifts to Marcus, who has a disgusted look on his face. What is he so disgusted by? Me or his son? I want to read his mind for a moment, but just then the five Candor leaders enter, and silence falls over the room.

After the regular speech, I guess, four of the five leaders take their seats, while Jack is the only one who remains. I let my mind scan the room, trying to figure out if there are more accomplices other than Max and Jackson. I fully expected Mason to be here, but I can't either see nor hear him. He must have stayed back at the compound.

Jack explains the reason we are here, the crime Eric committed, and that upon reviewing the case, Candor decided on a double interrogation. Since Eric is a Dauntless leader, and I am an initiate, the City Council needs to approve of the proceedings to avoid a mistrial. I guess, that's why Marcus is here. It was kind of natural for me to see my parents here, and I didn't think it had anything to do with legal procedure. Nevertheless, I'm glad. I only hope after this is done, I can steal a moment to talk to them. I'm sure my dad is dying to know what I was doing locking lips with a boy he never met. Especially, one that looks so Dauntless like my boyfriend.

Two Candor guards escort Eric into the room, and as he steps into the center, I can see bruises all over his face. I look toward Tobias, who looks at Eric with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"Did you do that?" I ask him. He only growls. That's my answer. Of course, he did. "I love you so much," I whisper to him, and his eyes leave Eric's form, and stare at me. They betray the storm inside him, but they are soft, and loving. He smirks a little, before kissing the tip of my nose.

The lights go out above us, the only light source is centered to where Eric stands. The Candor guards let go of him but stay around in case he tries something stupid. Jack walks to the center and stands next to Eric. He takes a syringe from someone I can't really see, and plunges the needle into Eric's neck. After Jack hands the syringe back, he looks toward me.

"I would like Ms. Beatrice Prior to step forward," he says politely. Tobias squeezes my hand one more time, and whispers "be brave" to me. I nod, and take slow steps toward the center. I agreed with Jack that he would coach me throughout this, telling me what I should or shouldn't do. He nods his head, when I stand next to him facing the benches. The only thing is, I can't see anything. The light is bright here, and it obscures my vision.

I feel a needle pushing its way into my skin, and then something smooth being injected: the truth serum. Only, it will do nothing to me, since I've been inoculated.

Jack starts asking Eric questions. They are mainly about his name, birth faction, and what faction he chose. Tobias already told me that before the Candor start an actual interrogation, they always ask questions they already know the answer to, ensuring that the serum started working. When he is done, he moves to me and asks me the same questions.

"Tris, can you please tell us what happened yesterday?" Jack asks patiently. "Take your time answering, but not too long. You need to look confused," he adds in his mind.

"I was with Four and Lauren on my way to Max's office," I answer, keeping a confused look on my face.

"Why did you go there?" Jack asks.

"Four and I wanted to tell leadership about our relationship," I reply.

"What kind of relationship?" he asks out loud, but then adds he will ask about our sex life. I cringe inwardly, but remain calm.

"Romantic."

"Why would you go tell them?" he asks. I realize these questions are meant to fill in the audience, and I applaud his genius. Allowing me to go first, I will be able to gain sympathy from the people watching this. Of course, it is irrelevant to the case per se, but might come in handy later on.

"I am an initiate, and Four was my instructor," I answer.

"Why isn't he anymore?"

"He resigned."

"Why would he do that?" Jack prods.

"To be with me."

"Tris, please tell us in your own words what exactly happened," he requests.

"Four, Lauren, and I went to Max's office to tell him about our secret. Four told them how he had feelings for me from the beginning, but didn't think I would like him. We only got together two weeks ago, but I was afraid I would be made factionless because I fell in love with my instructor." I hear a faint noise in the audience that sounded like someone awed at my statement. "We knew it was against the rules, but we both offered to let them check my records so that leadership could see we didn't cheat."

"Did they check?" Jack asks.

"I don't know. You'd have to ask them."

"Please, go on. What happened next?"

"Max and Jackson seemed surprised that Four would have a girlfriend, and they told us they had to check my progress during initiation. We agreed. I was happy that at least they would check for themselves that neither Four nor I cheated. I'd rather be factionless than a cheater."

"How did it come to the fight between you and Eric Coulter, one of the Dauntless leaders?" Jack asks, stirring the interrogation toward him.

"Max was just telling us that Four would stop being an instructor, and he himself would supervise me, when Eric barged in, and called Four a faction traitor, and demanded we both be made factionless."

"How did the others react?"

"Four was livid, and wanted to punch him, but neither Max nor Jackson seemed happy."

"Please, when was it decided that Eric would examine your abilities as a Dauntless soldier?" Jack asks.

"Never. He shouted that it was impossible for me to rank so high. Four must have cheated to help me rank sixth. I got very angry, and challenged him to a fight, which he accepted. He dragged me into the Pit, and we had our fight."

"From the reports we received, you won," Jack says with a hint of a smirk.

"Yes, I did."

"When did the shooting occur?"

"Right as I climbed the large rock in the Pit, where our leaders make announcements. I was just turning around, when I felt a push, and then a sharp pain. Then it went dark." Jack starts pacing around, seemingly in deep thought. He takes his sweet time, and I don't know if he is actually thinking about his next question or just dragging out this interrogation for the purpose of suspense.

"Eric, how did you find out about Four and Tris?" Jack asks.

"Another initiate told me," he answers.

"What's the name of the initiate?" Jack steps closer to Eric.

"Albert." I am shocked. Al knew about me and Tobias? We always made sure not to raise suspicion. How did he find out? I search through Eric's mind, and see the moment. It is two days after the attack. Tobias had pulled me into a dark hallway to kiss me. Did Al follow me? Did he try to kill me again? I wanted to believe he was just the stupid boy who allowed Peter to trick him into doing his bidding, but I now see Al has an agenda of his own.

"Ask him when he found out," I tell Jack in my mind.

"Eric, when did you find out about your fellow leader having a relationship with Ms. Prior?" Jack asks, making sure to emphasize the word leader. Eric glares at Jack, but answers, unable to withstand the truth serum in his system.

"About two weeks ago," he answers. I make it a point to look shocked. Son of a bitch! So, he knew and kept it hidden. But why? As if reading my mind, Jack asks the same question.

"If you knew all along that your fellow leader is breaking the rules, why didn't you report him or confront him? Why allow their romance to continue?" Jack asks pointedly.

"I wanted to wait until it hurt him the most," Eric says with a sneer.

"You motherfucking son of a bitch!" I shout. I hear gasps, probably the Abnegation in the room are shocked to hear me use a language like that. "You don't give a fuck if Four and I are a couple. The only thing you care about is hurt him. Why?" I ask, trying to sound a mix of angry and desperate. Jack is phenomenal the way he stirs me toward the right emotional responses. If this wouldn't be important, I'd feel guilty for faking it. Well, it's not completely fake, but whatever.

"Because he is always the favorite. Our trainer favored him. That's why he came out first, instead of me. Max offered him leadership before me. He even got to fuck the only virgin in the initiate's group," he says whiney. I bite the inside of my cheek to not burst out laughing. Eric is so pathetic. But I can't feel sorry for him. He is involved in the murder of Gifted, and who knows what else.

The audience is outraged, though I'm not sure by what exactly. Candor leadership is trying to calm them down, while Jack prepares me for a few follow-up questions he has in store for me, and then Eric. He asks me to read his mind carefully, and see if he has some kind of reaction throughout the series of questions that will follow.

"Couldn't it be that Four was just better than you?" Jack asks. Oh, you are vicious! I like it!

"That prick?" Eric asks with an insult. "Please," Eric scoffs. "I am much better than him. I am better with computers. I am more feared than him, I am not a scared little boy hiding in another faction from his daddy who used to beat him up," Eric shouts the last part. I am outraged! How dare he? I want to launch myself at him, but hear Jack's voice.

"NO! For the love of God, no! It wouldn't consist with you being under truth serum. You can react, show your outrage through words, but try to struggle, and try not to go make statements that you know are false," he says in my head. I wonder if he knows the truth about Marcus. Technically, Erudite released a report about Marcus, and henceforth kept repeating the allegations. No one actually showed any kind of proof, but people still talk.

"You fucking bastard! You are jealous! That's your motivation. Four is a million times better than you. He is stronger than you, smarter, and unlike you, people in Dauntless actually admire him, you shithead!" I curse. I don't know how people from other factions react to my verbal onslaught, but I'm sure the Dauntless in the room have the time of their lives with an ex-Stiff cursing like this.

"Oh, shut it, you bitch! You're just as bad as he is. He got ranked first because he became friends with that dimwit Amar, and you ranked sixth after Phase 1 because you let him fuck you. You slut!" Eric attacks me. That's it! We've got him right where we wanted.

"I'm still a virgin, you moronic douche bag! Unless he has imaginary sex with me, I can't see how he could fuck me," I shout. Right now, Eric and I are in a yelling match, mildly moderated by Jack.

"Keep going," Jack encourages me in my head.

"You are a piece of crap. You are so jealous of Four. You know why? Cause he is wanted, loved, respected. He even is more feared than you, you loser!"

"Shut up, you Stiff whore. I should have pushed you into the Chasm myself. I should have known that idiot Peter would screw it up!" Eric yells. I am taken aback. I thought it was Peter's idea to push me into the Chasm. But instead Eric egged him on. That doesn't excuse Peter at all, but it shows that there was someone else behind it.

The Candor leaders are asking the audience to calm down, and as Jack helps them I use the moment to look through Eric's mind. It's easier each time he loses control. His mind is unfocused, his thoughts scattered. He can't control the things that cross his mind any more than he could control the weather. I see him in meetings with the other Dauntless leaders and Jeanine, I see him as he kills someone by the tracks, I see him keeping close correspondence with Jeanine, discussing an attack. Attack? What attack?

I can't rummage any further, because the audience calmed down enough for the interrogations to continue. Jack returns in my line of sight, and I'm glad I see at least one familiar face right now. Tobias is here too, but I am unable to see him, and that makes me impatient.

"Eric, are you admitting you tried to kill Ms. Prior before?" Jack asks calmly.

"I suggested it to another initiate."

"Why?"

"That little bitch gets on my last nerve," he spits. Wow! If that was a reason to kill me, I'd be dead a million and one times by now.

"Eric, when you pulled out that gun to shoot her, did you intend to kill her?" Jack digs deeper.

"Yes."

"Was it your intention even if she would have lost the fight against you?"

"Yes."

Jack pauses. I am guessing for dramatic effect, as he starts pacing around. I tell him in my head that I saw him kill someone else, but keep the information about the tracks to myself. I don't want Jack to accidentally slip.

"Did you ever kill anyone else?" Jack asks.

"Yes."

"Who?"

"My trainer, Amar," Eric answers without hesitation, without a hint of remorse. I know this must be difficult for Tobias. He told me that in the short time he got to know Amar, they became friends.

"Why?"

"I had to," Eric answers vaguely.

"Why did you have to kill him?" Jack insists.

"I had my orders," Eric replies. Who gave the order? As if hearing my thoughts, Jack immediately asks the same question, but before Eric can reply, we hear a gunshot. I instinctively crouch down, trying to avoid getting shot again. A second gunshot is heard, and then people screaming. The lights are still concentrated on the center of the room where Jack, Eric and I are, but as I look to my right, I realize Eric is lying on the ground. His head is turned toward me, his eyes wide in shock, his mouth agape, and blood running down his forehead from the wound in the middle of it. Eric is dead.

I feel strong arms envelope me, and without looking I know it's Tobias. He tries to pull me up, but I resist. Something about Eric's eyes is unnerving. It's like they are calling me. I reach out to close them, hating that their fixed on me. The moment I touch him, I get glimpses of his thoughts. They are snippets of memories, and within them, I see a plan. A plan to attack Abnegation!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What happened? Who shot Eric?


	24. Clash of the strongest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello my dear initiates! I just wanted to tell you that I'm really happy you guys like this story. It is a pleasure writing it, despite moments of complete blackout. I wanted you to know that just because there are times when I don't post, I always write. Over the past year I must have written over 100k. Not one story, but several moments of FourTris. They are just ideas in my head that I needed out of there. Maybe I will post them, maybe not. But they help me sort through what is good, and what is not so good. So, if I stop posting for a while it's because I need to put my thoughts in order.

Tobias's POV

The moment I hear the gunshot, I am already leaping out of my chair. I only know it came from behind me, and it went toward the center of the room where Tris is. Eric had someone shoot her again, since he failed to kill her. I am going to murder him if something happens to her. I am barely at Tris's side, who had crouched down to avoid getting hit, when a second gunshot is heard, followed by panicked screams. I can barely hear above the shouts of people trying to get out of the room as quickly as possible, chairs squeaking against the tile floor, falling over in some places, hurried footsteps rushing toward the exit, and then silence.

I am holding Tris tightly wrapped in my arms. She must be in shock. Eric's body fell right next to her, and unfortunately, his eyes remained open, seemingly staring at her, as he lay there dead. Her hand is still on his face after she shut his eyes, her body unwilling to cooperate. I lift her up, and drag her out, not knowing what to do about all this. Who shot Eric?

I see Jack coming towards us, ushering us into his office that is just three doors down the same hall. Inside, I help Tris sit down, her eyes are worried, pensive. She is shaking, and under the circumstances, that's no surprise.

I check her for any kind of injury, but she keeps pushing my hands away. I am glad to not find anything, but her silence is killing me. Why won't she talk? She seems in deep thought, and I wish she would let me in. I realize there's nothing else I can do until she speaks again, and wrap her in my arms. She immediately wraps her own arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest.

Jack tells me he needs to go back, and take care of everything, and I only nod. Our moment alone is interrupted when someone barges into Jack's office. I see Mrs. Prior enter, searching frantically for her daughter, followed by Mr. Prior, and my father.

"Beatrice, thank heavens!" Mrs. Prior says. I want to let go of Tris to allow her mother to hold her, but Tris pulls me even closer to her body. Mrs. Prior sees her daughter's reaction, and smiles at me kindly. I open one arm to let her come closer, and hold both mother and daughter in my arms. I hear Mrs. Prior whispering into Tris's ear, but I'm distracted by Mr. Prior's glare, and Marcus's unsettling gaze on us.

It takes Tris a while to let go, and when she finally does, I am a little relieved. She had me worried. She goes to hug both her parents, and then her eyes meet Marcus's.

"What do you want?" she spits.

"Beatrice, that's not polite," her dad chastises.

"He has nothing to do here. Leave!" she shouts.

"Beatrice!" Mrs. Prior says outraged. Right. They don't know the monster Marcus is.

"I am the leader of the City Council. I have every right to be here," Marcus says glaring at her. I step further, and a little in front of her to shield her from him. I hate that he is so close to her.

"You stay away from her or I'll break you," I threaten him.

"That's not a way to talk to your father," Marcus says. I wasn't sure if the Priors remembered me, but now they know for sure.

"Marcus, please leave," I hear Mrs. Prior say.

"Natalie, I have every right to be here," Marcus argues, and goes again with he is the leader of the City Council crap. "Marcus, please. Our daughter almost got killed. I beg you," she says softly, but her voice is stern at the same time. She won't accept no from him. He finally agrees.

"Let's go, son," he adds.

"I think that's a good idea," Mr. Prior agrees.

"Like hell it is. Listen to me you motherfucking shit. You'll leave right now or I'll kick you so hard in the nuts they'll retreat back into your body," Tris growls. Damn, she was never sexier than right now. I love the sweet, loving version of her, but when she is all protective she is the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on.

"How dare you, you insolent girl!" Marcus says outraged. I see him raise his hand to her, and immediately step between them. He slaps me hard, but it's nothing compared to what he put me through as a child. More importantly, he was about to hit the woman I love. I won't ever allow anyone to hit her.

"You piece of shit!" Tris shouts. She moves past me, and punches Marcus right in the face, before kicking him in the crotch. He stumbles backwards, a look of surprise on his face. I pull Tris in my arms, holding her back before she goes any further.

"You'll be regretting this!" Marcus threatens. He leaves, realizing that he wouldn't stand a chance between me, and Tris. Normally, I would be pissed she even argued with my father, but seeing how she did it to defend me, to protect me not only warms my heart, but fills me with so much pride, and love for her.

The moment Marcus is out the door, Tris turns in my arms, wrapping hers tightly around me. She keeps mumbling, but I can barely hear her with her buried in my chest again. I hear Mr. Prior asking what is going on, and why Tris would react so violently. Mrs. Prior only tells him she must have a good reason, but doesn't elaborate. I still don't know if she believes the Erudite reports about my father or not, but at least she trusts me enough to let her daughter be with me.

"That conniving bastard! How dare he hit you?" Tris asks outraged.

"Honey, he wanted to strike you. I couldn't let him do that," I tell her firmly.

"He should have just tried, I would have beat the shit out of him," Tris promises, and I know she could have. I kiss her crown, pulling her a little closer to me. Despite the situation, I am glad I could see this side of my girlfriend in real life. It was one thing to see it during my fear landscape, but in real life she is even more beautiful and fearless. I love her.

"Will someone explain to me what is going on?" Mr. Prior asks angry. We turn around, and while we're not in the same tight embrace as before, I still haven't let go of Tris. And I won't.

"Mr. Prior, Mrs. Prior, I am Tobias Eaton." I stop. They already knew that. I'm such a moron.

"Is it true?" Mrs. Prior asks. She can only mean one thing. Before I met Tris, I didn't dare of ever telling anyone about my past, fearing they'd see me as a weak child, which I suppose I was. But with her by my side I feel like I could conquer the world. Nevertheless, admitting that for seven years my own father beat me almost on a daily basis is still painful.

"Be brave," I hear Tris's voice in my head. I look down at her, as she looks up, and I kiss her forehead. Yes, she gives me strength.

I admit to Tris's parents that Erudite got it right. For years, Marcus abused me, and before that he abused my mother. I forgo telling them that Evelyn is still alive. I still want to talk to Tris in private. She deserves I level with her because I want to not because I have to. I watch as several emotions cross the Priors faces. Shock, disbelief, anger, regret, pity – these are all emotions I've expected. But then Mrs. Prior looks at me the same way Tris looked after she first found out.

Coming closer to me, Mrs. Prior embraces me tightly, and I feel Tris stepping aside. I awkwardly hug her back, and I feel accepted, just like I always do when I hold Tris. It's different though.

"I am so sorry, Tobias. No child should ever live through something like that. And I feel so guilty we didn't pay closer attention," she says, and I hear her cry.

"How couldn't we see that?" Mr. Prior asks in disbelief. For as much as he was angry with me for kissing his daughter, he seems genuinely taken aback by my story. If it wouldn't have been for Tris encouraging me to tell my story, assuring me that her parents would not only understand, but accept me, I would have probably remained silent. Talking about Marcus is always a tough thing to do, even two years after I finally left his house. But with this amazing girl by my side, I am capable of doing so many things. She inspires me, makes me stronger, makes me feel loved the way I never thought anyone could love me. My parents certainly never did.

At some point, I've seen Jack return to the room, but Tris pulled him outside, allowing me to continue talking to her parents. Both of them, as well as Tris, decided it was better for me to trust them. And as I tell them my story, and Mrs. Prior holds me in a motherly embrace, I realize they were right. I never trusted people before. They so easily could deceive and hurt me. But ever since I met Tris, I opened a door to my heart that I refused to close again.

When Tris finally comes back, she takes a chair to sit next to her father, while her mother and I sit on the small couch, Mrs. Prior's arms still around me.

"Am I to understand that you and Tobias are in a relationship?" her father asks her sternly. Unlike my father's voice, his is still showing his love for her. But it also shows his concern.

"Yes. Dad, didn't you hear me during the interrogation?" Tris asks with a scowl. Her father blushes slightly. Tris certainly has a dirty mouth, and I have a feeling this is the first time he heard her talk like that. Mrs. Prior, however, seems more familiar with her daughter's antics. But given their close relationship I understand why.

"It's just," he starts saying.

"Dad, Tobias is a wonderful person. Despite everything that has happened to him. Yes, he is hard, and looks like he could kill you with his left pinky, which I guess he could," she says, looking a little pensive. "But I know him, and trust him, and above all else I love him. With all my heart," she adds, and gives me a smile that would melt me, if it wasn't for the people sitting here next to us.

"Mr. Prior, I swear. I would never hurt Tris. I love her very much. I know you don't really know me, but I am asking for a chance to prove to you that my intentions are serious," I tell them. Both Mr. and Mrs. Prior look at me a little curious, and even Tris has a look in her eyes that says "what the fuck". "I mean," I start stuttering.

"Dad, there's another thing you should know," Tris says with a smile directed at me, and while I have no clue what she wants to say, I am glad I don't have to talk anymore.

"What is it, princess?" he asks her, his voice soft, almost sweet. Watching Tris interact with her father makes me feel glad that she never knew the hardship of growing up unloved, and abused. But at the same time, a tiny part is jealous of what they have.

"Tobias and I are living together," she says, and his serene expression turns murderous. Tris quickly grabs his hand, before he can even think of standing up. "Dad, listen. I am safer there. You've heard what Eric did. How he instigated others to kill me. I don't feel safe in the dorm room anymore. I know you are worried about me, but Tobias would never hurt me or do anything against my will," she reassures him, but for some reason, I think she also said those words to me. She doesn't look my way, but she must sense how insecure I am because of my father and how he treated my mother. What if his evilness is genetic? "Stop it, Tobias. You are the polar opposite of that piece of garbage," she tells me in my head.

I watch as Mr. Prior tries to argue, but Mrs. Prior explains, without giving away that the whole thing started because of Hana. She even tells him that she was full on board with the idea. Reluctantly, he understands her reasoning, but gives me a stern look.

"You better respect my daughter," he says. And I nod.

"Andrew, they are young, and in love. And I'm sure they wouldn't do anything stupid. Right, kids?" Mrs. Prior looks at us, but I get the feeling that while she said it as if it was a warning for us to keep it in our pants, she must realize that at some point we might actually get more handsy than we already are.

This whole conversation is awkward at best, and completely new to me. I never dated a girl before. I was never interested in anyone before I met Tris, and I tell them that. It is amazing to me how once my heart has allowed them in just a little, it didn't shut them back out when I got scared they might disapprove of me, and ask me to give up on their daughter. I could never give up on her. I love her too much. But if one day she decides she doesn't love me anymore or finally sees me for the damaged, broken man that I really am, then I will let her go.

"You better not," Tris whispers, as she trades places with her mom. "I love you now and forever." We lean in to kiss, but then her father whines a little.

"Could you please not do this in front of me?"

"Andrew, let them be," Mrs. Prior scolds him, but I understand his discomfort. Not only did he just learn one of his oldest friends is an abusive monster, but also that his sixteen-year-old daughter is living with her boyfriend.

"Yeah, dad. Chill!" Tris says with a grin.

"You, zip it!" Mrs. Prior scolds her. I chuckle to myself. I love seeing a normal, albeit less Abnegation than I thought, family interact so carefree. I can literally feel the love they feel for each other, and I am grateful that Tris decided to share a tiny part of her heart with me.

"A big part," she whispers.

"It's not very nice of you to read my mind," I whisper back.

"I'm not a very nice person, we already established that," she smirks.

We are interrupted when Jack enters his office, followed by another Candor leader, as well as Jackson. He gives us a curious look, before Jack starts talking.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Prior for staying here on behalf of Abnegation," he says. He ushers the two men who came in with him to take a seat, and I scoot over to make room for Jackson to sit on the couch. "There is something I need to tell you. We have identified the shooter," he says, and I watch him carefully. He looks distraught. I wonder what has happened now.

"Who was it?" Tris asks.

"Mason, one of the Dauntless leaders," he tells us staring straight at me and Tris. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What about that? I know some of you thought of Mason, but why didn't Tris hear him? She is a telepath after all.
> 
> What did you think of the moment Tobias finally told the Priors who he really is? Did I nail it? Or did I blow it?
> 
> One last thing: I had an idea plaguing me these past months. I wrote a considerable amount of the story, but I would like a beta. So, who would like to read in advance what I hope will be my next story?


	25. Opening doors

I am completely stunned as Jack explains the situation. He is rather brief, but then his colleague takes over. I watch as Jack sits in his desk chair, his elbows resting on the desk, and his hands glued together. He props his chin against the tips of his fingers, and looks down at his desk.

We all listen to the other Candor in the room while he tells us that Mason first shot Eric, and then himself. I am speechless. Why would Mason kill Eric? I know they are scumbags, and they were working together, but what could have Eric revealed to get him killed?

When the Candor leader finally dismisses us, everyone leaves the office, and we're heading outside. Tris quickly says goodbye to her parents, avoiding staying too long with them, and then returns to where Jackson and I are waiting. We go to the tracks, and as I check my watch I see that a train is about to pass this sector.

We wait in silence, the gravity of today's events weighing heavy on everyone. Tris seems particularly troubled. I wonder what she is thinking about.

The train slows down as it approaches Candor HQ, and Jackson starts running alongside it. I follow him, and I can see Tris from my peripheral doing the same. He hops on, and enters the car, and I do the same. I help Tris hop inside as well, a little surprised she even needed my help. She is usually very good at jumping on and off trains. Her mind must be overworked with everything that has happened to her. In less than a month, three attacks almost claimed her young life. And whatever Mason's reasons, he could have killed her just as easily without anyone suspecting he was even in the room. I didn't see him.

Arriving home, the three of us jump off, and Jackson tells us he's going to find Max, who left earlier to have at least one leader here in Dauntless. I don't really believe him, but I don't say anything. Instead, I take Tris's hand, and walk her to my apartment. No, our apartment. We live together now. From all the shit today, this is one of the good things that has happened. That and Tris's parents at least giving me a chance to prove I love their daughter.

Tris's silence is killing me, though. I want to know what she thinks, how she feels, how she is. But she just moves alongside me, staring ahead, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, her lips pursed, her hand squeezing and then un-squeezing my own.

As we reach our apartment, I see Zeke and James already standing there, both of them look worried, and I wonder how much Dauntless heard about what went on in Candor.

"What are you doing here?" I ask them. They both look at Tris, and then back at me.

"Let's go inside. I need to talk to you, Four," she says, giving me a pleading look.

I open the door, and let her enter first, followed by our friends. She immediately goes to the fridge, and grabs two bottles of water for us. She hands me one, and then opens the other to take a large gulp from it. I see James placing a laptop on my kitchen table, but I don't say anything. We all wait for Tris to start speaking, but when she doesn't, I get impatient.

"Tris," I start, but then she interrupts me. She stands up, and places her palm on my cheek. It is warm, and comforting, and it relaxes me instantly.

"Four, I haven't told you anything until now, because of where we were, and with whom we were with. You had to have that conversation with them, and we couldn't postpone either that or this little mission I gave the guys," she says gesturing to my friends. Mission? What mission? "You had to talk to dad," she tells me in my head, and I can see the urgency in her eyes. She loves her father, and I know it would have broken her heart if he would have disliked me. I'm still not sure he likes me, but at least he stopped glaring, which is promising.

"Why don't you tell me exactly what happened?" I ask her, while at the same time silently tell her she better not keep anything from me. We are in this together. We need to trust each other. She nods.

"After Eric was shot, there were thoughts lingering in his mind. It was like the last thing he thought off before he died. That's why I lingered when I closed his eyes shut," she tells me. I was wondering why she wouldn't move. I nod, and she continues. "There are emails on his laptop between him and Jeanine, talking about an attack, but that's as far as I could see. Even that thought left his body. The moment you picked me up, and shoved me out of the room, I contacted Zeke and James, and told them what happened. They worked together to steal Eric's laptop," she says, and I look at the device on my table. So, this is Eric's. I wonder what we'll find.

"We haven't opened it since we got it from his office," James says.

"Good. We need to ensure that we won't trigger an alarm or something," I tell them. I know that between the three of us, we can bypass any firewall without detection, but it will take us time. We need to be careful.

"Do you know who shot Eric?" Zeke asks, looking from me to Tris.

"Mason," she answers immediately.

I start telling them about what went on in Candor, and we decide to find a place where we could meet, and talk to the other gifted. It is decided that the laptop stays here with me, and soon my friends say goodbye, and leave. We still have some time until we can head downstairs to the cafeteria for supper, and all I want right now is hold my girl.

We both lie down on the bed, and I wrap myself around her, spooning her, and breathing in her scent. She snuggles into my embrace, and for once, I am grateful I can be just a regular teenager, lying in bed with my girlfriend.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Zeke or James, but Eric's last thought was an attack on Abnegation," she breaks the silence.

"What?" I ask, sitting up abruptly. I look at her in disbelief.

"I didn't say anything because I am not sure the memory is even accurate. Maybe it was just his thought, triggered by me attacking him or maybe that's something he and Jeanine were discussing. I was hoping to learn more about it from his laptop," Tris tells me. "Please, don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, just surprised," I tell her, which is true. I wish she would have told me sooner, but I understand why she didn't. She is right. Once Mr. and Mrs. Prior learned of my relationship with their daughter, at least Mr. Prior wanted some serious answers. The fact that Marcus told them I was his son didn't help either. As hard as it was telling them my story, and as I reluctant I was at first, the moment I started talking something changed inside me. The way Tris gave me strength by just being in the room with me, holding my hand, the way Mrs. Prior hugged me, and even Mr. Prior as he shook my hand, I knew it was worth it. They aren't like Marcus, and they'll never be. More importantly, they are Tris's parents, and if I ever hope to have a good, honest, trustworthy relationship with her I need to make the effort, because I know she is.

"And another thing," she says. I roll my eyes.

"Honey, I love you. But is there any chance you'll ever tell me everything at once?" I ask her in mock annoyance. I get her better than she thinks. We are alike in so many ways, yet so different in others. We make each other strong.

"Nope," she replies grinning. She kisses me quickly, before telling me she loves me too. "I didn't hear Mason." She remains silent. What am I supposed to say now?

"Okay."

"You don't get it. While I was yelling at Eric, I kept hearing both Max and Jackson screaming at Eric in their heads to stop talking. They knew he could give away everything. But Mason," she stops, and shakes her head. "It was like he wasn't even there."

"Maybe he didn't think of anything," I offer as an explanation.

"Impossible. Even a cold-hearted murderer would at least have some thought before pulling the trigger. I heard dozens of voices during those moments, but not one was Mason's," she tells me concerned.

"What do you think that means?"

"I don't know. But I don't like it."

We lie back down, I wrap her in my arms, and rub her back. She is so strong, and powerful. Yet every day she surprises me anew. I love that about her.

"Tris, there is something very important I want to tell you, but I would like to postpone it for another day. It was very stressful today, and I just don't think I have the energy to deal with this on top of everything else," I tell her, and hope she'll understand. She smiles softly, and then kisses my lips.

"You'll tell me when you're ready. What time is it?" I check my watch, and see that it's five p.m. "Let's take a nap before we go down to the cafeteria," she requests, and I nod.

We soon fall into a peaceful sleep, until someone knocks on our door. I groan in frustration, and untangle myself from Tris's still sleeping form. How can she still sleep with the noise someone outside our door is making?

I hurry to see who dares disturbing us, when the sight of my two best friends greets me at the door. I look at them quizzically, and then see they are both holding two bags in their hands.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Food. When you and Tris didn't come down to eat, we figured you guys are exhausted," Shauna tells me. I look at my watch, and see that it says nine p.m. Shit! We slept for longer than I thought.

"We brought you this," Zeke says, handing me first his bag, and then Shauna gives me the one she was holding.

They say goodnight, and leave before I can even thank them. I make a mental note to do that tomorrow, but for now, I have to wake Tris so she can eat with me.

I close, and lock the door behind me, set the food on the table, and go to where Tris is still sleeping soundly. I take a moment to watch her sleeping figure. She is so beautiful.

I reach out, and caress her cheek with my fingers. She stirs, and I almost feel guilty for waking her, but she needs to eat. As if on cue, my stomach growls loudly, and she chuckles.

"Sounds like someone is starved," she says huskily. She opens one eye to look at me, and smiles. I sit down next to her on the bed, and just stare at her some more.

"Shauna and Zeke brought us some food. We should eat, and then go to bed early," I tell her. She nods silently, and sits up. For a moment, we just stare at each other, but then we lean in and kiss. I love kissing her. We part and laugh when her own stomach growls.

"Seems like my tummy monster has a friend," I say. I don't even know where this came from, but I find myself being more and more silly when I'm around her. I love it though.

I help her out of bed, and together we sit at the kitchen table eating the hamburgers that my friends brought us. I am delighted to see that they also brought two slices of Dauntless cake, and at the sight Tris's eyes sparkle. When we're done eating, I offer to clean up, while she goes taking a shower.

The moment the shower starts, I try to think of something other than my beautiful girlfriend naked in the shower, washing every inch of her fair skin, lathering up, rubbing her hands all over her sensitive parts… Damn it! Get it together, Tobias! I shake my head in an attempt to focus again, and then return to my task. It doesn't take me long to clean up, and before I know it the water stopped running.

"Uh, Tobias," I hear, and turn around. My jaw drops as I see Tris standing outside my bathroom wrapped in a tiny towel. I swallow hard past the lump in my throat, and feel all the blood rush into my dick. Fuck! She's so hot! I have no idea how I'll be able to keep my hands off of her. I guess tonight I'll have another cold shower. "Tobias," she says again with a little frown on her face.

"Sorry, babe. What is it?" I ask her.

"I forgot bringing my stuff from the dorm room. Could I borrow something from you?" she asks. I blink rapidly trying to jump start my vacationing brain.

"Uh, huh," comes my moronic answer.

"Would you stop staring at me like that," she requests, a deep blush settling over her cheeks.

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. I can give you one of my tee shirts, but I'm not sure any of my sweat pants will fit you," I say pensively.

"It's okay. Could you look for one that's extra long, though?" I nod my head, and go to my dresser. I watch her as she stands to the side, uncomfortably hugging the towel closer to her body. I must make her uncomfortable. Maybe she even thinks of that stupid fear in her fear landscape. "I know this is a cliché, but it's not you, it's me," she says, surprising me a little. I look at her dumbfounded, but then realize she must have read my mind. "Not on purpose," she says with a scowl. "You keep thinking so loudly," comes her angry explanation.

"I can't help thinking, Tris," I say a little irritated.

"No one told you not to. It's just, I don't know," she says, and looks away. I go to hug her, and for a moment, she stiffens. It takes her only a second to relax, and embrace me as well. "Sometimes your thoughts are louder than the cafeteria at lunch. And I have no idea why I can't block you. And it's not just that I hear you, but you can hear me too." It's true, that happened quite a few times.

"What do you mean it's 'you not me'?" I ask her curiously.

"Really? You don't get it?" she asks irritated.

"If I'd known I wouldn't have asked. So, tell me. Didn't we agree to be honest?" I feel her nod her head. But she doesn't say anything. We just stand there in each other's arms, and no one says anything. "Tris?"

"I look like a little girl," comes her whispered response. What? Is she serious? Can't she see how beautiful and incredibly sexy she is?

"Honey, listen to me. You are amazing. You are beautiful, sexy, charming, hot, and the list goes on. But that's just on the surface. You allowed me to see a side of you that is even more beautiful than the wrapping. I don't know why you feel this way, but I would like to show you just how much you affect me, all of you, body, mind, and soul," I say, and boldly grab her hand in mine. I lift it to my lips to kiss her palm first, and then her knuckles. I slowly guide it down, until I place it over my jeans-covered erection. I hear Tris gasp, and then bury her head even further into my chest. "You mean the world to me, Tris. And please believe me when I say that you are the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on."

"But I'm small," she protests.

"You are petite, and I love how you fit to my body."

"I don't have curves, like the Dauntless girls."

"You have curves. And who said you have to have huge boobs that defy gravity? I like yours better. I'd like them more if I could play with them," I say boldly in a joking manner. It is a feeble attempt to cheer her up, and boost her self-esteem, but I'd lie if I'd say I wouldn't want to touch her breasts, kiss them, play with them. "To me, you are perfect. It's me who is damaged."

At that, she almost jumps backwards. The moment she moves, her towel falls down, leaving her completely exposed, but she doesn't even seem to register that.

"Tobias, you are not damaged. Your father did a great job putting these ideas in your head, but that bastard is wrong. You are beautiful, everything about you is goodness and love. The scars on your back are part of you, and while they are a sign of something evil done to you, they are also a testimony of your inner strength. Despite everything Marcus put you through, you became this extraordinary man whom I love with all my heart," she tells me. I feel my eyes sting, tears threatening to spill. I pull her flush against me, and kiss her lips so passionately that I feel like I'm soaring.

"I love you too. I don't want to spoil the moment, but you kind of dropped your towel," I finally tell her. Realizing that I'm telling the truth, she starts squirming, telling me to look away. I'm sorry for her, but I've seen her naked now. No one will ever erase that image. She goes to punch me, but I flee into the bathroom, and close the door. "I put the tee shirt on the bed, by the way," I shout as I turn on the water. I hear her mutter a little, but I can't help the grin that appears on my face, and stays there for the rest of the night. As embarrassed as she is about that small mishap, I am glad it happened. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me. If she will ask me to look away again, I will. There's no question about it. I want this place to be hers too, and in order for that to happen, she needs to feel safe.

When we finally lay down, I spoon her again, inwardly celebrating that she is only wearing an old tee shirt of mine, and a pair of panties. I might have to take another cold shower in the morning, but this is worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What will they find on Eric's laptop? Was the thought of attacking Abnegation a real plan already put in motion or wishful thinking? Why didn't Tris hear Mason?


	26. Mother, dearest

Tris's POV

The days after Eric's interrogation fly by in a blur. I barely register anything. Between going twice a day through my fear simulations, worrying about the possible attack on Abnegation, wondering what the hell is happening to me, I feel more exhausted than I ever felt in my entire life.

The day right after the interrogation, leadership made the official announcement. Eric was killed by Mason who then killed himself. Max and Jackson had no other choice but let Candor deal with the investigation, but I could tell they felt a little relieved. In a way, by killing Eric, and then himself, Mason ensured that no one would pry any further in their business, but what bothers me is his willingness to die. Mason was cruel, selfish, and arrogant. He agreed with Jeanine's vision, but he didn't seem at all the type to give his life for the cause. The fact that I couldn't hear him at all makes me even more uneasy. If it wouldn't have been for the countless voices I heard during that interrogation, and Eric's final moments, I would have thought something was wrong with me. But since that wasn't the case it must have been Mason. But how did he block me out? Even if he knew what I can do, which he didn't, he wouldn't have been able to shield himself. Right? So, what happened?

Tobias told me that Jackson suggested leadership should add two more leaders, since Eric and Mason were dead, but Max wasn't so convinced. Tobias brilliantly suggested not to add anyone for a while. Whatever Candor's investigation will show, it is better for the faction to rely on faces they know and respect. Max immediately agreed, and even Jackson had to concede.

Since the workload had to be divided among the remaining three leaders, Max asked Lauren to do all the fear simulations, while he personally tested my fighting abilities, as well as see for himself how I handled a gun and knife. Yesterday, after examining for way too long, he concluded that Tobias indeed didn't cheat. To show the faction how transparent leadership is, now that Eric and Mason were out of the picture, he made a big announcement during lunch. If I wouldn't have been so relieved that this problem finally had a resolution, I would have scoffed at his statement. Sure, blame the dead guys! Thankfully, the faction cheered, and no one seemed to think I only got where I am because of my boyfriend.

Our group of Gifted met in Harrison's apartment the night after the interrogation. We brought everyone up to speed, and it was decided that Tobias, Zeke, and James would look for a way to bypass the firewalls on Eric's laptop, but so far they were unsuccessful. On the other hand, they decided to take it slow, not wanting to trigger some alarm, and let the other conspirators find out that someone is onto them. They might get suspicious anyway, because I guess Max or Jackson might have looked for it.

Tomorrow starts the final week of initiation. I am both excited, and annoyed. Excited that I will finally become a member. Annoyed, because it seems like it's taking even longer than all the previous weeks put together. I know it's just me being impatient, but to be honest I want it done already.

After the interrogation in Candor, I officially moved in with Tobias. I went to gather my stuff early that morning after I made sure all transfers left the dorm room. I gathered my things, and hurried upstairs to the apartment. I just dumped the duffle bag next to my side of the bed, and went to the fear landscape room.

I haven't seen Al since the interrogation, but Tobias not only threatened to throw him into the Chasm if he ever came near me again, but made it a point to tell everyone of our friends about what he did. I don't know what Al's goal was when he told Eric about me and Tobias, but it couldn't have been an innocent slip up.

My initiate friends have tried to cheer me up, seeing that I was often in a bad mood. They think it's because of the trauma of being shot, but in reality it's this nagging feeling that something is about to happen. The problem is, I can't figure out what and when. I thought it must be the pending attack on Abnegation, but my gut tells me it isn't just that. Also, I am not entirely sure this uneasiness is because of anything bad. It's just a general nervousness.

When I'm not required to be down by the fear landscape room, I go to the training room. At first, I would just work on a punching back or throw knives. But lately, some of my friends came in to spar with me. I've showed the girls some of my moves, and my biggest surprise was when Myra came to ask me to train her. She isn't ranking very high because she isn't so good at fighting. I've noticed that the Dauntless way often means cruel, and hard punches. But I found a way to use agility, and female friendly techniques to beat my opponent.

Sometimes, the guys would come in and watch us. I've tried to convince Tobias to spar with me, but he looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Even when I taunted him a little he wouldn't buckle. He just scowled at me for even suggesting it.

Dwayne decided then to avenge his friend's honor, by challenging me. Tobias didn't say a word, knowing full well I can defend myself, and that Dwayne would never intentionally hurt me. We sparred for a moment, until I asked Marlene in my mind to make the boys cry uncontrollably. We often do things like this when we are alone, and sure no one can come in and see us use our powers. Sometimes I would make Lynn create scenes around us or Marlene cause a person or a group of people to feel a certain way. I even practiced with Christina. By now she is far better than she used to. She can tap into anything with an electric current, and influence it. I would then ask her to gently electrocute someone.

I am sitting on the bed, flipping through the pages of the book Tobias and I found in that temple, reading this fascinating story. The title might say "brief", but it is a very detailed account of what Cer is, who the Pillars are, and what they mean to the world. I still want to make sure I got everything right, before sharing this with the rest. They already think I'm a nutjob for thinking someone possessed Hana, but I'm sure I am right. She might not be possessed in the "a demon possessed me" kind of way, but something is definitely not right. Her strange behavior, her contradictory statements, her encouragements to kill me. This is not Hana. And it frustrates me that I can't figure out a thing.

To top it all off, no one, but absolutely no one has a clue where Susan is. Mom couldn't find a trace. Tobias couldn't find anything either. I even asked Jack to try and locate her, but he just couldn't. All three of them have their talents when it comes to finding a missing person, but none was able to find one fifteen year old teenage girl. I don't even dare asking Robert about her. He would probably say I've lost my freaking mind or something.

Noises come from the door, and I stuff the book into my nightstand drawer. I watch as Tobias enters the apartment, and upon seeing me he smiles.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey," comes my immediate reply.

"What you up to?" he asks.

"Just chilling. Today we went through some of Lauren's fears," I tell him. I don't say anything about the book. Tobias already told me that I'm making myself crazy with that thing. I don't want to upset him.

"That can be tough," he says sympathetically. He sits down on the bed next to me, and I lean against his shoulder.

"I've missed you," I tell him honestly. Between his work, and my initiation we barely see each other. Okay, we do. But not as much as I want to. A smile brightens his face, and he turns to look at me. We lean in, and kiss softly. It's not like other kisses where we just want to occupy the same space. No, it's gentle, loving, a silent vow of our love for each other.

"I've missed you, too," he says a little breathless before leaning his forehead against mine. "Tris," he says, and somehow I can tell his mood has shifted. I look into his dark blue eyes, and see concern in them.

"What is it? What happened?" I ask a little scared.

"Do you remember I've told you there is something I needed to tell you," he starts saying, and I give him a curious look. I try to remember what he is referring to, but I can't. Sensing my confusion, he continues. "Right after the interrogation, I've told you I had something to important to tell you." He pauses, allowing me to think back. I remember now. He seemed uneasy, and I figured it was better to give him time to tell me when he is ready. I nod my head for him to continue. "This is hard. I want you to know, I didn't mean to keep this from you. At first, it didn't even cross my mind. I pushed it far back, so I wouldn't have to think of her," he says, and my eyes widen. Her? What her? Is he seeing someone else?

He must have seen the look on my face, because the next moment he turns his body completely to face mine. He takes my face between his large palms, and looks at me desperately.

"No, no, Tris. It's not what you think. I love you, baby, more than anything. This past month was the best of my life. You make me whole, and better, and so, so happy." His words are a little rushed, but I can see the honesty in his eyes, hear the emotion in his trembling voice, and the warmth that spreads through him, and touches my cold skin. I smile a little, but I am still so confused. I feel the strong urge to read his mind, but I promised myself not to do that. I trust him, I want to trust him. And how stupid would he be to cheat on me. I mean, he knows I could always figure it out.

"Tobias, I love you, too, but you need to tell me what is going on," I urge him. He nods solemnly. I can tell this is hard for him, and whatever he has to say must hurt him deeply. I want to be here for him, give him all my love and support, but this unknown pain he holds back is troubling me. What could be so hard for him to share with me?

"There is no easy way to say this, so I'm going to say it out right. My mother is alive," he says, and my jaw drops. What the fuck?

We remain both silent for a moment, before he resumes. Evelyn Eaton, who I presumed dead, is in fact alive. I remain quiet, allowing Tobias to tell me the tale of his mother's miraculous reappearance, while trying to comprehend what happened all these years ago.

Tobias starts from the moment Evelyn contacted him two years ago, after his own initiation concluded. He received a strange note that only he could understand. It contained clues that he and those who lived in the Eaton household would understand. Since he thought his mother to be dead, he figured it must have been Marcus. Against his better judgment, he went to meet with his father, only to be shocked out of his comfort zone by the resurrection of his dead mother. Tobias already told me that before his mother allegedly died, she too suffered abuse coming from Marcus. But just like everyone else, Tobias assumed Evelyn had died at childbirth together with the infant. It was clear to him, however, that the harsh treatment Marcus inflicted on her must have been the cause. Well, he wasn't completely wrong. It was because of how Marcus treated her that she left. But not into the afterlife, but to the factionless. Letting that piece of information sink in, I realize Evelyn abandoned Tobias with his abusive father.

"That bitch!" I say loudly, without shouting. Tobias looks up, and he seems conflicted. Maybe I made a mistake referring to his mother that way. But I can't keep my outrage and own pain in. How could she abandon her sweet little boy? I've seen a side of Tobias that he doesn't share with others, but a side that is beautiful and kind, despite what he thinks. That side is the true Tobias, the child he left behind long before Marcus laid a finger on him.

"Calm down, baby," he says, pulling me in his arms. His touch is comforting, and loving, and I melt against him.

"Did she offer any explanation as to why she did it?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"She said, she didn't want me to live factionless, and that she was sure it was her who was damaged. I was Marcus's son, and while he disciplined me as well, as long as she was there he never hit me. It was only after she left. Evelyn told me she was convinced I was safer in Abnegation, in my home, than living factionless and having no future," he says, and I scoff. I wish I had her right in front of me to slap her silly.

Tobias goes on to tell me how she wanted him to leave Dauntless, and live with her factionless. I am even more outraged by that. Despite him telling her that he ranked first in his initiate class, a feat in itself, he managed to survive on his own at the abusive hands of his father, broke himself loose from Abnegation, and all for him to start a new, better life.

I get up, and start pacing around. I am furious. How could she leave him with that monster? And even if she saw it as a last resort to save her own life, which I understand, why did she never try to contact Tobias? Even if she had to stay away from him for the time being, she could have asked someone to look out for him. But she didn't. And while she didn't fake her death per se, but the Abnegation council, she should have still gone back to see if her little boy was alright. No. There is no excuse. That's not how a mother should behave. I am absolutely certain that my own mother would never abandon me or Caleb. And I am certain I would never abandon my child, especially not if my husband would be the abusive kind. What she did is unforgiveable!

"Tris," I hear Tobias's anguished voice. I turn my head toward him, and he flinches. "You hate me," he suddenly says, and my eyes widen. I go to sit next to him, staring at him in disbelief.

"No. Why would you even think that?" I ask him confused. If there is anyone to hate than that's his parents.

"I should have told you long ago about Evelyn," he says. His eyes are fixed on mine, but I can see fear and despair in them. I never want to see that again. I try to smile despite the bile I feel rising up inside me at the thought what Evelyn and Marcus Eaton did to their only child. It breaks my heart to know him in so much pain.

"I'm not angry, and I certainly don't hate you, love. I am angry with everything your parents put you through. And frankly, I really don't care if it upsets you, but I hate them. And I will never forgive your mother for leaving you. She doesn't deserve the title!" I spit. I feel myself getting angrier again, and get up. Tobias, however, pulls me back, and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my neck.

I feel his hot breath on my skin, and shivers run down my spine. Suddenly, something wet hits me where his face is pressed against me, and I realize he is crying. I try to move but he holds me tightly, against his firm body. I struggle a little, but eventually manage to lie us both down on the bed, his head on my chest, my arms around him, his around my smaller frame, and I hold him while he cries. I rub his back with one hand, while the other one is tangled in his short hair, trying to soothe him. I don't really know what to do, except hold him, reassure him, love him. He has become the most important person in my life, despite having known him for less than three months. But during this time we've shared our most intimate secrets with one another, and I am glad he is in my life.

"Thank you," he suddenly says startling me.

"For what?" I ask him confused.

"For being you. For caring for me," he says, his voice hoarse, and a little broken.

"Tobias, I love you. More than you think. Whatever you need, I'm here for you," I promise him, and feel his head nod. "Did you have any contact with her since she reappeared?" I ask him, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"No. But I've seen a few factionless since then who told me my mother is waiting for me."

"Why would they deliver messages for her?" I ask even more confused.

"Factionless isn't what people think," he starts saying. "They are a lot more organized than the factions assume."

"Which is saying a lot, considering people in the factions think the factionless are just scattered. But I still don't understand what that has to do with your mother."

"She is kind of their leader," he says, and at that I sit up, forcing him to sit up as well. He turns his gaze to me, his eyes red from the crying. It breaks me inside seeing him like this.

"Please, tell me everything about Evelyn." He nods, and proceeds to tell me about the conversation he and his mother had nearly two years ago. I remain silent while holding him close to me.


	27. One more trouble

Tobias's revelation that his mother is still alive shook me to my core. I knew it was something big that troubled him, but I would have never guessed this. I still can't believe what he told me. After we spent all afternoon talking about his mother, me suppressing the urge to call her different names to describe how much I hated her for hurting him, and him trying to explain all the plans his mother forged since becoming factionless, the whole thing left us drained, and uneasy.

Evelyn is just waiting for something major to happen, which as it seems is already on its way, to throw over the government, and assume power. She is certain that she and her cohort of factionless will seize the city, but I am not sure her idea of a world without factions is as tangible as she thinks.

Assuming she can take advantage of an unstable form of government, what will her course of action be? Disband the faction system? Sure. But that's easier said than done. Even if the city would get rid of the factions, it will take generations to heal from the faction doctrine. It's like Christina always says to me when I am "showing" my Abnegation: you can take the girl out of Abnegation, but you can't take the Abnegation out of the girl. And it's true. That is something, I've noticed with every transfer. You can't erase sixteen years of a certain education, dare I say indoctrination, by choosing a different faction. I think this is why our current government loosened up a little that "Faction before blood" nonsense. I can't just forget sixteen years of a life, and be a completely different person come Choosing Day. That isn't realistic.

Same goes for any change of regime. People, especially the older ones, are used to the factions. They find comfort in what they know. Otherwise, people like Jeanine wouldn't prey on the misconception about Gifted. Although, I am not even sure if she knows what she is dealing with. All we actually know is that she hunts people like us. The why is simple. She is afraid of everything she can't explain, and we are as far away from an explanation as you can get. Heck, we the Gifted have more questions about ourselves than anyone else.

I wonder if Jeanine truly knows about our supernatural abilities. And more importantly how does she find us? The simplest, and most often accurate answer, is that you give yourself away. And with some of us not practicing I can see why someone who is already suspicious would catch you in the act. But otherwise, it just seems too much of a coincidence. Tobias warned me to not be too good in my sims. He and others suspect that because we think differently than regular people we manage to get through our fears quicker. That actually makes sense. All the data collected from our fear simulations is send to Erudite for studying. If someone is looking for anomalies, I'm sure they'll find us out.

I hate this. All of it. Ever since the Change, I face new problems seemingly on a daily basis. We are no further along than when we started, and we have more problems than we hope to solve. Let's see…

Jeanine is hunting Gifted

Jeanine is planning an attack on Abnegation

Dauntless leadership is helping Jeanine

Hana is acting crazy

Susan is missing

Marcus is an abusive scumbag, but for now I can't waste energy on him

Evelyn is the leader of the factionless and hopes to become queen of everything

Speaking of queen, Valerie is an oddball. She kept calling me queen, and gave me more outfits when I went to thank her. She is just as much a mystery as everything surrounding the Gifted

The mysterious temple in Amity

The strange images that appeared when I first touched Jack and Robert

My strange visions during my blackout, and that recurring nightmare in which I kill Tobias

The fact that I can read that book, and no one else can

I think that's about it. Not that even one of these wouldn't have been enough.

I sigh loudly.

Tobias is at work, but the initiates had the day off. Christina pestered me to go shopping with her, but I convinced her I had a migraine. I am fine, but I can't take another endless shopping trip. There are more important things I need to think about.

I stare at the book again. I've read it about five times already. I always hope I'll find something new in it, but I'm not. I even looked over the scrolls, but they are strange. It's like someone is telling their life's story in brief notes, and it always ends with "Midgard is still safe". After reading the "Brief History of Cer", I've learned that what Valerie said is true. There are ten realms, and the one we live in is called Midgard. But other than that, there's not much information.

I thought maybe the book I hid under my bed in Abnegation would give me some insight, but I can't really leave the compound without a member escorting me. Well, I can. I just shouldn't. But what if…

I concentrate on my friend, and try to make a connection with him. It doesn't take me long until I can speak to Jack, and ask him if he would help me with something. Telling me he is still in a meeting, but should be done soon, I ask him to contact me as soon as possible.

I impatiently wait for him to contact me, but eventually stop worrying so much. That book has been under my bed for the past decade. It won't crawl away if I wait another hour or so.

The door to the apartment opens, and I watch Tobias enter. He is hiding something behind him, and I wonder what it is. Judging by the huge smile on his face, I know he is happy, so I don't worry. However, I decide to tease him.

"Are you hiding Dauntless cake behind you?"

"Nah," comes his jovial reply.

"Don't worry. I'll share some of the cake with you," I tease, and he raises an eyebrow.

"What makes you think I'll share my cake with you?" he asks, emphasizing the word my. I chuckle.

"I thought you loved me," I reply, pretending to be offended.

"What has that got to do with anything? I love you, sure, but that doesn't mean I will share my precious Dauntless cake with you," he says, a wide grin splitting his face. I laugh out loud, and he joins in. I step closer to him to give him a hug and kiss, but he stops me. I give him a quizzical look, and then he reveals what he was hiding. A beautiful large rose bouquet appears from behind him, and I gasp in surprise. I've never received roses before. They are amazing!

"Tobias, they are gorgeous!" I say, taking them from him. I stare at them in awe.

"Not as gorgeous as you, my love," he states, and I see him walk behind me, wrapping his arms around me waist, pulling me close to him. I feel his hot breath on my neck, before his lips connect to my skin. I shiver like so many other times before, but then his arms leave my waist, and I hear a rustling. Before I can ask what he is doing, I feel the cold touch of a slim chain around my neck. I look down, and see a beautiful heart-shaped pendant on a silver chain adorning my neck.

"Tobias?" I ask chocked up. This is so beautiful.

"Today is our anniversary," he simply states. "I wanted to show you how much I love you, and how happy you make me every day," he adds before kissing my cheek. I am overwhelmed. Our anniversary? Abnegation doesn't celebrate birthdays, let alone anniversaries. I turn around, and already feel tears of happiness running down my cheeks.

"Thank you so much. This are wonderful. You are wonderful," I say choked up. "I didn't know," I start saying, and look away ashamed.

"It's okay. I know this is new to you. Well, it is new to me too. But here in Dauntless we can celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, any holiday actually. But to me there is nothing worth more celebrating than being with you. I wanted you to have these roses because every time I see them they remind me of you. They are beautiful and graceful, yet strong and capable of defending themselves. Nevertheless, they deserve to be protected." I blush at his words, and looking at the powerfully scented flowers I smile. "And the necklace, well, I gave you my heart," he says, rubbing the back of his neck, and I nod. I stand on my tip-toes, and press my body flush against his. His arms immediately encircle me, and we kiss softly.

"Thank you, Tobias. This is amazing," I say, holding the pendant between my fingers, trying to see it better.

"You're welcome. We also have dinner reservations," he tells me, and I look up shocked.

"Really?" He smiles lovingly, and nods.

"I'll pick you up at seven, and then we will have our first official date here in Dauntless," he says enthusiastically. I grin. Before I can tell him how excited I am, I hear Jack's voice in my head. I scowl. I know I wanted him to contact me as soon as possible, but this moment was so precious. "What?" Tobias asks concerned.

"I had Jack contact me. I need a favor from him," I say.

"Okay. What kind of favor?" Tobias asks for clarification.

"Is it okay I tell him to come to us, you know, using his power?" I ask, implying our friend would open a gate into this apartment. Tobias nods, knowing I wouldn't normally ask for favors if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I quickly tell Jack to open a gate to the apartment, and a moment later he appears.

"Hello you two," he greets seeing the both of us. As he looks more closely at me, he notices the flower bouquet. "Uh, am I interrupting?"

"It's okay. I was the one who called you," I say, taking the blame. I want nothing more than to be alone with Tobias right now, but this might be important. At least it was an hour ago. I hope I am not just getting a cook book out of this.

"I should leave you alone to talk," Tobias says, but I grab his wrist. I don't have secrets, and I want him to know.

"Do you have to go back to work?" I ask him, my voice sounding almost desperate. Each time he leaves, I feel a hole in my heart that won't be filled until he is back with me. He smiles, and shakes his head.

I ask both of them to sit at the kitchen table, while I put my beautiful flowers away in a vase. I decide to put it on the kitchen counter where the sun shines. It's much better than in some corner. I smile as I admire them one last time before turning to face the two men. Tobias already offered Jack a beverage, but the latter declined.

"How can I help you?" Jack asks.

"I need to go home to my parents," I say, and both of them look flabbergasted. Jack looks from me to Tobias, and then back.

"Tris, I could have gone with you," Tobias starts saying, a little confused.

"Yeah, and no. This is more delicate. I don't really want anyone knowing I went there."

"Tris, what is this all about?" Tobias asks suspiciously.

I decide to tell them all about the book. I know they both are skeptical, but even they have to admit that it is strange that I can read it, and they can't. I push the book in front of Jack, telling him that years ago I found another one while exploring the city, and henceforth hid it under my bed. No one ever moved it, and I doubted my parents would have done so after I left. If it was possible for me to read this one, my idea was I could read the other one too. It was worth a try. If it turned out I couldn't, well no harm done.

"A Brief History of Cer?" Jack suddenly says. I turn my head to him, and stare in shock.

"How did you know that's what it says?" I ask still staring at my friend.

"It's what it says on the cover," he states matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I know. But how can you read it?" I insist.

I look at Tobias who seems just as bewildered as I am. He reaches out to look at the book again, and shakes his head.

"I still can't read it," he says frustrated.

My attention returns to Jack. He seems confused about his sudden ability to read the ancient book. Getting the book back from Tobias, he flips through the pages, reading lines out loud. I confirm what he is saying, and Tobias just watches in awe. There is no chance he could have just made up the exact sentences that I am reading. There's just no fucking way! And this can't be a coincidence. Tobias must think so too, because he stands up, and asks Jack to take the three of us to Abnegation.

"Shouldn't we call your parents and make sure they are not there. Or at least your father?" Jack asks concerned.

"My dad is at work, and mom is a Gifted just like us. Besides, wouldn't be the worst way she saw me come home," I say remembering countless times I came home with broken bones, bloodied clothes, or just with some weird shit that looked too dangerous to keep around.

"What's the worst?" Jack asks amused. I try to figure out what made mom cringe the most, and then I know.

"I once came home with a rusty nail in my skull," I say.

"Prank?" Jack asks amused.

I look at him completely serious, and then sigh. "You'd think, but no." Tobias then stares at me, silently telling me to elaborate. "I was a bad kid, alright?" I say a little exasperated. He already knows a lot about what a hellion I was. I hear Jack chuckle beside me, before he opens a gate to my childhood room. I step through it first, and for a moment, I feel really nostalgic.

After Tobias and Jack passed through the gate as well, Jack closes it. I smile to myself, remembering countless hours I've spend in here.

"So, this is an Abnegation bedroom. Simple," Jack states. He isn't condescending, just stating the obvious. I roll my eyes at him, and then look at Tobias. This can't be easy for him. I know this isn't Marcus's house, but every house in Abnegation looks exactly the same. But to my surprise, he actually smiles. I step closer to him, and wrap my arms around his waist.

"You know, you are the first boy I ever brought home," I whisper. He grins, before kissing the tip of my nose.

"Not to spoil this for you, but didn't you want to get a book or something?" Jack asks amused.

"Right, sorry." I quickly peck Tobias's lips, and drop to my knees to reach under my bed. I tap around the area where I know I've left the book, but I can't find it. Maybe mom pushed it more underneath the bed when she cleaned this room. I lie on my stomach trying to reach as far back as I can, but I still can't find anything. "What the fuck?" I cuss. I stand up again, and use my powers to lift the bed. There is nothing underneath except for an old pair of shoes.

The book is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What happened to the book? Did Natalie or Andrew move it? Did someone else know about it, and decided to come looking for it?
> 
> And why is it Jack can suddenly read "The Brief History of Cer"?
> 
> What are your thoughts on this? I would love to hear your opinions.


	28. Family dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry for not uploading last week, but my granpa was in the hospital for two weeks. He is better now and was released on Tuesday. I still wanted to check and edit this chapter so I took my time.
> 
> Also, on a happier note, I got a new tattoo. You can check it out on my Tumblr christiwind.tumblr.com or IG @windchristina or Twitter @christiwind, which you are more than welcome to follow.
> 
> Happy reading!

Tobias's POV

I watch Tris as she practically destroys her parents' house in search for that book. She curses every two minutes, and frankly, I am not sure if I should be upset, laugh or just help her look. However, I have no idea what that book looks like, also she uses her powers to lift furniture. Honestly, I don't want to be in her path when she moves them around mid-air.

"Is this why you have so few furniture items in your apartment?" Jack asks chuckling, as we both sit on the stairs watching Tris look for that book. I laugh a little, but she starts to worry me.

"Tris," I call her but she doesn't hear me or she ignores me. Either way, I try again. When she finally turns around, she looks a little angry. "Babe, the book isn't here. Maybe your parents threw it away or something," I say, hoping she'll stop.

"No, they didn't. I already asked," she says, but then her expression goes from angry to deadly. For someone so short she can look really scary when she wants to.

"Whoa! Tris, you look frightening," Jack jokes.

"Zip it! Someone was in here. Someone took it," she growls. She sets the furniture back where it was, not a moment too soon for the door to open.

"Beatrice!" Natalie says coming in quickly, and closing the door behind her. I watch Tris go hug her mom, and then Natalie comes to where Jack and I are. We descended the few stairs above ground level, and I now embrace Natalie as well.

After the long talk I had with Tris's parents, they both insisted I call them by their first names. I was reluctant at first, but they practically gave me no choice. Despite Andrew still being a little worried about his daughter living with a man, he showed me he trusted me enough to take care of Tris.

"Four, I'm so happy to see you. How are you?" she asks smiling. In many ways, Natalie reminds me of my mother from when I was little. Evelyn was loving too, and she always made me feel special. But not anymore. The mother I had, died when she left me with Marcus. "You look hungry. You need to eat." I chuckle.

"Thank you, Natalie. I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm good. Hello Jack. Good to see you too. You alright?" she asks with a kind smile.

"Mom, they are fine. They are not hungry. Just focus!" Tris demands. Boy, someone's in a mood! She glares at me instantly. Oops!

"Did you hear me?" I ask her.

"No. But I saw you roll your eyes," she counters. Damn!

"Beatrice, you are rude. Apologize!" her mom scolds her.

"But mom!" comes Tris's quick protest.

"Now!" Natalie urges without raising her voice.

"Fine. Sorry," she says rolling her own eyes now. "Can we please focus?"

Natalie nods. Tris goes to tell her mom that she looked for the book everywhere, but it's gone. Natalie tries to calm her down, but I have a feeling she won't be able to.

"Don't you get it?" Tris asks frustrated. "Someone was in here. Someone broke into our house. Someone stole it!"

"Beatrice, that's absurd. Who would do such a thing? Who would even know you had that book?"

"Mom, that book was under my bed for a decade. A DE-CA-DE!" she spells angrily. "Only someone who knew its value would have taken it."

Natalie tries to protest, while both Jack and I try to reason with Tris. This seems so far-fetched. Why would anyone steal a book they can't read? And who would even know where to look for it? Tris already told me no one other than her mother knew about the book. If her brother would have found it during their childhood, he probably would have asked questions about it. Given he transferred to Erudite, finding a book with curious letters on it must have fascinated him. There is no chance he would have passed the opportunity to find out what it all meant.

I would suggest Tris might have misplaced the book, but I know her. She would find a needle in a haystack without great difficulty. I want to think that she is wrong, and this is just a case of misplacing an item, but she makes some valid points as well.

"I don't know what to tell you, honey. I can't believe anyone broke into our home," Natalie says, but I can tell by the tremble in her voice that she isn't so sure anymore.

"Isn't there a chance we could, I don't know, see what happened?" Jack asks. He looks pensive.

"What are you thinking about?" Tris asks, but I can tell that something is on her mind too.

"You said Natalie can see the future," he says, and Tris nods. "Isn't it possible for her to see the past?" he asks curiously. Natalie looks taken aback. I don't know what to say. They talk about manipulating Natalie's gift, and instead of looking into an upcoming event, to search for one that has already happened.

"I don't think I can do that," Natalie says, trying to make them understand that what they want, what they ask of her is impossible.

"How can you know if you don't try?" Jack insists. "I've seen Tris help others improve and tap into deeper levels of their power. Maybe she can help you too." Natalie looks toward me, silently asking for help.

"She is too weak," Tris says with a sigh.

"How do you know?" Jack inquires.

"I just do. We will have to practice a lot more than a few times for her to be able to tap into deeper levels. And this process requires time. We'll have to postpone this," she concedes. Wow, that's a lot more mature than a moment ago. I wonder if she isn't hiding anything.

Natalie sighs in relief, and then kisses her daughter's cheek. She goes into the kitchen making us tea, despite us telling her it isn't necessary. However, we decide to stay a while longer. Since we technically broke into her house, the least we can do is spend some time with her. Thankfully, Jack agrees to stay a while longer, so that Tris and I won't have to take the train back to Dauntless.

Natalie makes small talk with us, telling us about her day, and her work. Jack asks many questions, fascinated by what Abnegation truly means. He too seemed to have believed the lies Erudite told about the Abnegation hoarding supplies, instead of giving them to the factionless.

We must have spent an hour talking to Natalie. Tris went to the bathroom a while ago, and as Jack tells us he needs to get back to Candor, I decide to go upstairs looking for her. I find her lying on her childhood bed with her eyes closed.

"Honey, we need to go," I say softly, as I sit down on the bed with her. She seems to be asleep, judging by the steady rise and fall of her chest. I smile at her sleeping form. She looks so peaceful. I so badly want to lay down next to her. So, I do. I make sure not to disturb her, as I wrap myself around her, shielding her from every harm. I kiss her cheek, and close my eyes. I just want to savor this closeness for a moment, before we have to return to Dauntless.

I feel someone shaking me, and when I open my eyes, it's dark in the room. I blink the sleep away, and look at the person shaking me. It's Andrew. What? What is he doing in my apartment? Then, I realize I am in Abnegation, in his house. Damn! I sit up abruptly, embarrassed that Andrew found me sleeping with his daughter in her childhood bed.

"Andrew," I say stuttering.

"It's okay. Natalie sent me up to call you to dinner," he says startling me. Dinner? Is it really that late? I check my watch and see it's eight p.m. already. Geez, we slept for a long time. I look down fully expecting to find Tris sleeping next to me, but I am alone. "Beatrice is already downstairs with her mom." I nod my head, and follow him down into the dining room.

I stretch quickly before entering the room, and decide to take off my jacket. It is warm inside the house, and I still feel a little sleepy from the long nap. I watch Andrew sit next to Natalie, and take a seat next to my girlfriend. Andrew says grace, before we all start eating. It has been a long time since I last had a typical Abnegation meal. But surprisingly, it fills me with warmth, and nostalgia. Not for what I had with Marcus, but the simple things Abnegation stands for.

"Did you have a good nap?" Natalie asks smiling.

"Yes. I'm sorry I slept in Tris's room," I say, looking down into my bowl.

"Don't be absurd. You were tired, and needed some rest," Natalie tells me.

"Natalie is right, son. Beatrice told us how hard you've been working. It is natural that your body needs time to refuel. Don't worry," Andrew tells me reassuringly. I nod my head, thankful he isn't mad at me.

"How long have you been up?" I ask Tris.

"I slept for about an hour, before I woke up. I saw you sleeping next to me, and couldn't find it in me to wake you up. I came downstairs, and mom told me that Jack had to go. I just decided to spend some time with her, while you took a nap," she tells me, squeezing my hand that was resting next to my bowl on the table. I smile at her, before leaning in, and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you," I tell her honestly. I didn't think I needed a nap, but now that I had one I am rested, and feel like myself again. Tris is right. These past couple of weeks have been brutal. My workload doubled, and I can be thankful if I can be home by nine p.m. Tonight was the only night I managed to get away from my office to spend some quality time with my girlfriend. Remembering our dinner reservations, I look at her with wide eyes.

"What?" she asks confused.

"We had dinner reservations," I say.

"Yeah. Your phone rang while you were asleep," she says sheepishly. "I didn't want you to wake up, so I answered. Please, don't be upset."

"No, it's okay. I have no secrets. But what does that have to do with anything?" I ask confused.

"It was the restaurant. I cancelled the reservation, since it was for 7.30 p.m. and it was already seven when they called. Mom had invited us both over for dinner, and I figured since you were still asleep we could just go another time," she says, and I can see a slight blush on her cheeks. I lean in and kiss her forehead.

"It's okay. I'm glad we stayed," I say in a whisper.

As I turn back around, I see Tris's parents smirk, and suddenly I feel all embarrassed again. I don't say anything, but I swear I hear Natalie mutter "so cute" before she takes a sip from her glass. I shake my head lightly, trying to focus again, but a part of me is happy that both Andrew and Natalie seem to accept me more and more. It is a huge relief, because I know how much they love Tris, and how much she loves her parents. It would have been devastating if they didn't like me or disapprove of our relationship.

After dinner, I offer to do the dishes. Natalie tries to protest, but I won't hear it. They were very welcoming, and it is the least I can do. I don't mind, really. It relaxes me to do simple things. I clean everything in the kitchen, allowing Tris a few more minutes with her parents before we have to go back home.

Once I'm done, I return to the living room, where Tris already says goodbye to her parents, giving them both hugs and kisses. Usually, this is a rare sight for the Abnegation, but since I've met Tris I've learned there is more than meets the eye. I give Natalie a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and while I stretch out my hand for Andrew to shake, he chuckles, and pulls me into a fatherly hug.

"Take care of my girl," he whispers into my ear, and I nod. "And take care of yourself, too, son." I pull back, smiling like an idiot. I know that coming from him the word "son" means something good, something to cherish. It's been only two weeks since both Priors learned of my identity and implicitly about my dark past, but both were nothing but supportive. I will be forever grateful for their trust and affection, and strive to be worthy of them.

We finally leave the house, and hand in hand, we walk toward the tracks, where we wait for the train to take us home. If this would have been another place, another time, I could easily see myself living in one of these houses, Tris by my side, and maybe one day, even have a family with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's a good thing Andrew and Natalie accept Tobias.
> 
> But who could have taken that book? And what will our heroes do about all the problems they are facing?
> 
> I would love to hear your opinions and suggestions.


	29. Dear diary

Tris's POV

I follow Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn into the training room. The four of us have already finished with our fear simulations for the day, and my friends decided to go have some fun. Uriah surprised us a little when he told us he had a copy of the key to the training room. I knew that the room was locked up mainly to avoid some idiots getting hurt, but this is Dauntless. We are all idiots that are prone to get hurt.

"What did you have in mind?" I ask Uriah, as he hands Marlene a muffin.

"I don't know. I thought I could shoot that muffin off of Marlene's head," he says matter-of-factly. I chuckle. Their Dauntless upbringing surely gives them that extra amount of courage other people lack. Not me though. Compared to the things I did, this is regular child's play.

"Why can't I shoot it off of your head?" Marlene inquires. Uriah smirks at that.

"I have better aim," he says full of himself.

"Have not," Marlene counters.

"Yes, I have."

"No, you have not," Lynn chimes in.

"Oh, shut up, Lynn," Uriah snorts, and then looks at me. "What do you think?"

"I think I can always redirect the bullet in case you are about to kill her," I say, and Lynn bursts out laughing, while Marlene chuckles, and Uriah pouts.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Stiff," he teases. I don't really mind when my friends call me Stiff, especially since it happens rarely. They just like to tease, and they all know I am as far away from being a Stiff as they are.

"You're welcome."

I watch as Uriah goes to unlock the weapons cabinet, and withdraws a gun, and bullets. Marlene goes to stand in front of the target, and carefully places the muffin on her head. She smiles brightly, and anyone who wouldn't know what is about to happen would think she is just a silly girl. Maybe she is. I mean, allowing Uriah to actually aim a gun at her head, she must be pretty nuts. Or have tremendous faith in him. I know Uriah is a good guy, and in the short time I've been here he has become a loyal friend. I know it's very hard for him with Hana still acting the way she does, but he is his own person, and can make his own decisions.

"Are you okay?" Lynn asks coming to stand next to me while Uriah is still loading the gun.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You seem far away. Did something happen?" she inquires.

"I had another weird dream," I tell her. Curiously, out of all my new friends, Lynn was the last person I suspected to become so close to me. In many ways, we are very much alike. She gets straight to the point, doesn't sugarcoat things, and is brutally honest. Not Christina honest, but constructive honest. Whenever Christina decides to show her Candor, it always comes out as if I did a huge mistake, and that I'm some dumb blonde bimbo. I know she means well, but her delivery lacks manners. Lynn isn't much for etiquette either, but when she gives me her two cents, at least I don't feel like a failure afterwards.

"Care to share?" she asks.

"I will. But tonight when we all meet up. After all, it's just a dream. Let's have fun," I say, and give her a smile. She nods, and then we both turn our attention to Marlene and Uriah.

We watch as Uriah instructs Marlene to stand perfectly still. He goes to stand in front of her, and takes aim. He waits about two minutes, before he shifts another inch to the right, seemingly looking for the best spot to do this. I am about to yell to shoot already before the muffin turns bad, and falls off of Marlene's head out of its own volition, when Lynn shouts something similar.

"Will you shoot already, you pansycake?"

"Hey!" Uriah shouts back at her, indignation clear in his voice. He hates it when people call him that, although he has no problem in calling others "pansycake".

Marlene starts laughing, and the muffin falls off her head, and to the ground. She bends down to get it, and before she puts it back on her head, she takes a bite.

"Ew!" comes the unanimous reaction from Uriah, Lynn, and myself.

"What? Five seconds rule," she states matter-of-factly with a huge grin on her face.

"You know that's bullshit, right?" Lynn asks sarcastically, while raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, shut up. It's fine. Come on, Uri. Shoot the muffin off my head," she encourages our friend with a flirtatious smile on her face.

Uriah resumes his place, and takes aim again. This time he only waits one minute before he finally pulls the trigger. The loud bang of the gun resonates throughout the empty room, making it sound even deadlier than it is. But I suppose any gun, of any size and power, is frightening for its deadly outcome. I look toward Marlene who smiles widely. I look to the ground and see the muffin there. This time she leaves it there. Apparently, six seconds is one second too long to pick it up again. I shake my head, and smile.

"Figures that we find my baby brother in here," we hear Zeke's voice. I turn around and watch him enter the training room holding Shauna's hand, while Tobias walks beside them, grinning widely. I walk toward him, and the moment we are close enough, we wrap ourselves around the other. Tobias leans in and kisses me on the lips.

"Ugh, get a room," I hear Lynn shout.

"We already have one," I say boldly, before I realize what she actually meant. I turn red instantaneously, while the others start laughing. I feel Tobias laugh too, but I can tell he struggles not to burst out. "Not funny," I say, and look up at him with a pout on my face. He stops laughing, but the smile remains on his handsome face.

"It's a little funny. Come on, don't be mad," he says. He pulls me closer to his body, and I just lay my head on his chest. We remain like this for a while, letting our friends do whatever they want. I've missed him the whole day, and wish we could be alone.

"What you doing here anyways?" I ask confused. Lately, he's been working overtime, and I know he is stressed out because of it. But being the responsible man he is, he would never skip work just because he is tired. He can be so stubborn sometimes.

"I had a few hours to spare, and Zeke pestered me to spend some time with him and Shauna. Apparently, I am a shitty friend," he tells me with a chuckle. I laugh a little, but as I think about it, Zeke is right. With all the shit that has been going on, Tobias neglected his friends. And it's not just for their sake, but his as well that he spends some time with them, to just relax.

"I'll leave then," I say, and he stops me.

"You don't have to," he argues.

"I know. But you need to spend some time with Zeke and Shauna too. They miss you, and you miss them. Give yourself the time to reconnect with your friends." He looks from me to them, and then nods. I lean up to kiss his lips, and he immediately tries to deepen it. I pull back slightly, and place my index finger over his lips. "We'll have plenty of time to do this later at home," I tell him.

"Promise?" he asks smirking.

"Cross my heart, and hope to die," I promise, playfully. We kiss one last time, before I go to drag my friends out of here. Under the pretext to go check on Christina and Will, they follow me, while the trio of older Dauntless stay behind.

It is late in the afternoon when I part ways with my friends. They return to the dorm room, and I decide to go lay down for a little bit until we have to be in the cafeteria for supper. However, as I walk down the hall, a thought occurs to me. Why didn't I think of this sooner?

I turn around, and take another hallway down into the compound, until I am standing in front of Valerie's door again. I hope she is home. I knock on the door, and wait for her to open it.

"My queen," comes her immediate answer, a huge smile on her face. I roll my eyes.

"For the hundredth time, stop calling me queen. I am no queen," I say exasperated.

"To me you are. How can I help you?" she asks.

"May I come in?" I ask, not wanting anyone to hear what I am about to ask her.

"Of course," she replies, and allows me to enter her small apartment. I walk into the living room, and go straight to the bookshelf. I fight the urge to raise my hand to grab the book I want. Instead, I turn around and look at Valerie. "How can I help you?"

"When I first came here," I start saying, and she nods, "you urged me to pick up one of the books on this shelf," I say, and point my left thumb over my shoulder. She nods again, and starts walking past me. I turn around, and realize she already picked up the book I wanted. She hands it to me with a smile. I look at her confused. "How'd you know I wanted this one?" I ask. She gives me a look that says "seriously".

"Give me some credit, your highness," she answers.

I don't argue with her again, knowing it would be futile. At least she never called me that in public. I thank her for allowing me to take the book with me, and then I say goodbye. I hurry back to the apartment, and as soon as I am inside, I go to lie on the bed. I am not going to nap, but given that Tobias still hasn't bought a couch, the bed is the most comfortable place in this apartment.

I start reading eagerly, excited that just like the book from the temple, I can read this one as well. It takes me about three pages to realize that this is a diary, but there is no name mentioned of whom it belonged. I feel like I am intruding, but this diary might give me some insight. Maybe it belonged to another gifted. Hopefully, they knew more about us, and what is going on than we do.

I keep reading, and realize that the person who wrote this was a girl. I start skipping pages, eager to find something more exciting than endless study sessions in a library. I skip to about half of the book, and read the lines on top of the page.

"The fight against the Dark Elves was hard as expected. They are strong, and under the firm leadership of Malekith they are united. I still can't believe Phobos charged at Malekith alone. When I saw him fight the Dark Elf King, my heart stopped. Malekith is a lot stronger than Phobos, and even my brothers, who are celestial descendants, couldn't keep up with the dark king. It was a miracle that he survived the battle. It took him almost a day to wake up, and I cursed my life for not being able to sit by his bed. Mother is adamant to marry me to one of the Architects, but I don't love Tullius. I love Phobos."

"What you reading?" Tobias asks, startling me out of my skin.

"Son of a bitch!" I shout. I look up at my boyfriend, who has a curious expression on his face. "Damn, Tobias. You startled me," I say, holding my hand to my chest, and breathing rapidly. My heart is pounding against my chest, and some very rude insults swim around in my head. I know he didn't do it on purpose, but fuck.

"I'm sorry, babe," he says, and sits down next to me. I shake my head.

"It's alright. I was too engrossed anyway. It's not your fault." I set the book aside, and lie down on the bed. I hold out my hand for Tobias to join me, and he immediately smiles. He lies down next to me, gathering me in his arms, and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"I came to check if you're ready to go to supper," he tells me softly. I nod my head, but don't move an inch. I love these quiet moments we share with one another, even if they are brief sometimes. They are all the more precious because of it. "You don't want to leave, huh," he says, and I shake my head. He chuckles. "Me either. But we need to eat. And then, we have the meeting with the others." He leans in, and our lips connect in a sweet kiss.

He quickly licks my bottom lip, asking me to give him access to my mouth, and I happily grant it. I sigh in contentment, and feel him shift above me. His large, firm body is pressing my soft, smaller one into the mattress, as he settles between my open legs. We've been exploring each other a lot more since I started living with him, but I still couldn't get over my fear of intimacy. Tobias is nothing but supportive and patient. I am sure if it was anyone else they would have broken up with me a long time ago. But I know Tobias loves me, just as much as I love him. I want to give him what he wants, but I am still too damn self-conscious.

However, ever since we came out, and told the Dauntless population we were in a relationship I started feeling more comfortable showing affection even when we were in public. I love him, and he deserves to be shown that every minute of the day. Heaven knows, he shows me plenty.

If he doesn't surprise me with flowers, then it's chocolates. But nothing compares to the little notes I find throughout the apartment. Some are sweet declarations of love, others just reminding me to eat or some are little requests. Like the other day, he left me a note asking me if I would consider a romantic make-out session with him in the chasm enough payment to make a typical Abnegation stew for him. I laughed to myself, and decided to tease him a little. I sent him a text saying that on top of the make-out session I also wanted his slice of Dauntless cake that night. His reply came promptly.

"You are a tough negotiator, Prior. You are lucky I love that stew you make so much." I chuckled, and continued with the teasing.

"Just my stew?" His response came instantaneously.

"Nah, I love you, too, I guess." He kept it casual, but I knew he was only joking. After I promised that I would make it for him, he texted back he would bring the cake home, so that we could save it from Uriah's huge appetite.

I promised myself to be a little bolder. I can't help it that I look like a twelve year old boy. I don't have the curves the other Dauntless girls have, but for some strange reason Tobias doesn't mind. I accepted that he loves me the way I am, and I want to give him all of me. However, there is this nagging voice that keeps me from taking that final step. Christina suggested that I take baby steps. I had decided to confide in her, because she seemed the obvious choice. Despite being a loud-mouth, like Tobias puts it, she knows more about these things. Plus, with her starting a relationship with Will it's the obvious choice out of all my female friends. She told me she was still a virgin, and while she wasn't ashamed of it, she was eager to not be one anymore. When I asked her if she wasn't afraid, she surprised me by telling me that she was very nervous, but when you give yourself to someone you love, any pain is secondary. Not to mention, we endured worse during initiation. We laughed at that, but it still didn't ease my mind. She suggested I should take one step at a time, and explore his body, and allow him to explore mine. That way, when the day finally comes when we will have sex, we will both be prepared. I never told her that Tobias is a virgin too, but she quickly said that it didn't matter if a guy was a virgin or had tons of sex before. If he really cared about the girl, he would be just as nervous as her, and try to make the experience as pleasant as possible. Thinking of that, I realized she was right. I know Tobias, and I know he will make this experience as beautiful as he possibly can. And I want to do the same for him.

Tobias's body presses mine into the mattress as we explore each other's mouths. We've done this countless times before, yet each time is like the first: thrilling, engaging, loving, demanding. A big part of me wants to move forward, wants to give myself to him, but there is something holding me back. Something I can't even understand. I love him, and he loves me. He chooses me over any other girl in the Dauntless compound. So, why can't I get over my own fear and be one with him? What can possibly hold me back?

"Tris?" I hear his voice. I slowly open my eyes, realizing I kept them screwed shut. I look up at him, and a concerned look settled over his handsome face. "Stop thinking about your fear," he says, and kisses the tip of my nose.

"You heard me?" I ask, dreading the answer. He just nods. I sigh in frustration.

"I don't know why I can hear you, and you know I'm not doing it on purpose, mainly 'cause I don't know how it even happens," he says with a small chuckle. I try to smile, but I can't. I hate it when he gets glimpses of my insecurities. I know he knows I have them. We've talked about them, but it is still frustrating to be so exposed. "Babe, you know we don't have to do anything you don't want to." I nod my head, but I stubbornly remain silent. "We can stop," he starts saying, and I shake my head. I don't know where the sudden boost of confidence came from but I flip us over, straddling his hips now, and pressing my body flush against his.

"I love you," is all I'm saying. I press my lips back over his, and I feel myself melt against him. His arms quickly circle around my body, holding me firmly in place, while my hands play with his hair, massaging his scalp.

Too soon, his phone rings, and we have to part. I lean my forehead against his chest, while he maneuvers to get his phone out of his pants pocket. I only hear his side of the conversation but I can tell he is not happy to hear whatever the person calling is telling him. When he finally sets the phone down, I look at him expectantly.

"That was James. He and Zeke cracked the final firewall, and managed to extract most of the data on Eric's computer before a hidden virus erased all remaining data without a chance for us to recover it. They haven't checked what they managed to save, but they promised to bring the data to our meeting," he informs me. Well, that sucks. I was really hoping to get a better understanding of what Jeanine is up to. We can only hope that what Zeke and James did manage to save is worth the risk. I guess, only time will tell.


	30. Two voices, one mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay. I wanted to post on Thursday, but I had so much to do at work that I didn't have time, and when I finally came home, I was too exhausted. if you followed me as an Author, you can see that I post weekly chapters for my story FUME. I also write down chapters for non-existent stories, as in an idea creeps into my head, and doesn't let go until I write it down. I call them "workshop stories". But enough about that.
> 
> Enjoy this next chapter.

Tobias's POV

We all meet up in Harrison's apartment to discuss our progress. It takes a while until everyone is here, but as soon as we all find a place to sit, Tori starts the meeting. She, together with Harrison, Dwayne and Bud listened to what the Dauntless members had to say about the recent events. Thankfully, most people are glad that we are rid of Eric and Mason, none of the former leaders will be missed, yet many fear that others might take their place and be even crueler. It was the job of Tori and other few Gifted to listen and report back so we know who might be an ally or not. We still hope that it won't come to an actual conflict, but with Jeanine's meddling, even now with Eric and Mason gone, I'm afraid a war is inevitable. And if Tris is correct about Eric's last thought, the war will start in Abnegation.

Zeke tells us that his mother has stopped trying to persuade others to hate Tris, seemingly noticing the distance we all put between her and ourselves. However, we are all aware that this might just be a diversion, and need to keep our eyes open. Obviously, the Pedrad brothers are the most affected by the situation with Hana, but so are Bud and Tris. I wish I could help them, but until we find out what the hell prompted her to act this crazy, none of us can do anything.

When it is finally James and Zeke's turn to tell us about Eric's laptop, I am pleasantly surprised to learn that my friends managed to go through a great deal of the data.

"I don't know how Jeanine is planning to do this or where it might all start, but I think she wants to attack one of the factions," James says. I look toward Tris who has a sullen expression on her face. I look around and see that everyone is either flabbergasted or angry or a mix of both.

"Abnegation," Tris says, standing up, and starting to pace.

"What?" Jack asks confused.

"Abnegation," she repeats, and faces now the room. "Eric's last thought was of an attack on Abnegation. At the time, I thought maybe it was just a silent wish of his. That's why I asked you," she says addressing now James and Zeke directly, "to steal Eric's laptop. I was hoping it was just his wishful thinking, but I guess, deep down I knew the truth."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bud asks accusingly, as he steps closer to where his sister sits, and embraces her from behind, wanting to protect her. She smiles up at him, and rubs his arm.

"Why do you think?" Tris retorts with a scowl. "You already think I'm a nutjob for thinking Hana is possessed. And when I told you guys I can read that book from the temple you all went crazy on me." She isn't wrong. When she first mentioned she could read it, I could see it on everyone's faces that they doubted her, especially after Bud pointed out how confused she was after she woke up from getting shot.

"I should mention, I can read the book too, now," Jack says, standing up. Everyone's attention shifts from Tris to the Candor leader.

"You can?" Harrison asks confused.

"Yes," Jack confirms. At that, Tris pulls out the book. I haven't even noticed that she brought it with her, but she then shows it to everyone. This is the first time our group of Gifted get to see the book. Up until now, they only heard us talk about it. Tris hands the book over to Jack, and to demonstrate that neither Tris or Jack or lying, Tori picks out a random passage from the book, and lets Jack read. But to everyone's surprise, it's Robert who's starting to read out loud.

"The three children of Chi lived sheltered in the palace, where their parents made them study the history of the known universe. Being descendants of a celestial being, their lifespan superseded even the lifespan of the fine people of Asgard."

"What the hell?" Christina almost shouts.

I watch as Tris walks closer to Robert, and picks up the book. She looks over the passage he just read, and confirms that those words indeed are written in the book.

"How is this possible?" Johanna asks dumbfounded.

"I don't know. I've never seen this book in my life," Robert tells her, and I believe him. He seems just as shocked as the rest of us.

Tris hands the book to Christina, who sits right next to Robert, and then it is passed on to the rest until everyone had a chance to look inside it. Other than Tris, Jack and Robert, no one can read the words.

"What does all this mean?" Harrison asks the question that is probably on everyone's mind. No one has an answer, though.

"I don't know, but it is strange that Jack, Robert and I are the only ones who can read that language," Tris says.

She continues telling everyone how she found the other book a decade earlier and hid it under her bed in Abnegation. She also tells them how we went to get it, but it was gone. Natalie confirms that neither she nor her husband took it, but doesn't think anyone from Abnegation would break into their home and steal it. I find that hard to believe as well. There might be many rumors going around about the Abnegation, but I've lived among them, and while they aren't all flawless, they are not bad people. Well, with the exception of the obvious few.

Tris continues by telling us how she got a third book, a girl's diary. This is news to me. She quickly explains that she only got it today, and hasn't had the time to fully read it. When Lauren asks where she got it, given that no initiate is allowed to leave the compound, I am surprised to learn that she got it from the seamstress, who made her outfits.

"Wait. Valerie gave you the book? Is she a Gifted?" Lauren asks confused. It seems she didn't know this woman quiet as well as she thought. Tris shakes her head.

"Valerie told me that her real name isn't Valerie. In fact, she isn't even from here," Tris says mysteriously.

"What do you mean, not from here?" Dwayne inquires.

"I mean, she wasn't born here," Tris answers, but it's still evasive.

"Like, she was born outside the fence?" he prods.

"No. She was born outside of this realm," Tris says, and starts pacing.

Giving us a brief summary of the conversations she had with this Valerie woman, Tris tells us an extraordinary story. I can tell she isn't completely honest with us, by the way she keeps biting her fingernails, and I am not the only one to notice. Both Lauren and Christina call her out on that. Tris glares at both of them, and tells them very sternly to back off.

"If you know something we don't then you have to tell us," Bud says firmly, and comes to stand in front of Tris. Tris levitates off the ground, and glares at her uncle.

"I don't have to do anything. I don't see you cracking your skull over these things. And why should I share with you a secret that isn't mine? I only told you this much about her because it is important for you to see that the world is bigger than what we believe it to be," she yells at him.

"But, Tris, if Valerie knows more about the Gifted, shouldn't we ask her?" Lauren inquires. I couldn't agree more. Tris sighs in frustration as she closes her eyes and stands back on the ground.

"Do you really think I didn't ask?" she asks our friend. Lauren just shrugs which seems to make Tris only angrier.

"You could read her mind," Christina suggests.

"How about I read yours?" Tris asks, and stands up straighter. "How about I read all your minds? How about I tell everyone in this room your most guarded secret? How would you feel?"

"This is not the same, and you know it," Christina challenges, and stands up. She is taller than Tris, and looks down on my girlfriend, as if she was better. I ball my fists, and fight the urge to speak up. I want answers as much as the next person, but Tris is right. She can't just go and read Valerie's mind just because it is something we want.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Bud insists.

"Silence!" Tris yells at them. "How dare you? Any of you? Let me be clear. I know why she asked me to keep some things hidden, and I respect her wish. If any of you even thinks of forcibly retrieving that information I will strip you of all your secrets. I am not kidding. It is not your decision how much Valerie reveals and what she can or cannot keep to herself. Unless you are willing to go through the same process as her, I suggest you keep your mouths shut!"

Tris turns on her heels, and leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind her. I want to get up and run after her, but she tells me in my head to stay put. She needs to calm down. I reply in my head for her to be careful, and let me know where she is so that I don't worry. She immediately agrees and breaks the connection between us.

"Well, that was fun," Uriah comments.

"I don't understand why she has to be so stubborn?" Bud asks.

"How would you feel if someone would force you to spill your guts?" Jack asks, and I see a deep frown on his face. I've never seen him like this before. I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but even when he is serious he doesn't look like this. His eyebrows form a deep crease in the middle of his forehead, his eyes are narrowed, and his lips form a straight line. I can see him clench his fists, and his whole body is more rigid than usual. A part of me is glad that he is on Tris's side and defends her, but another part, the jealous-boyfriend-part doesn't like this at all.

"This is more important than keeping secrets," Bud argues.

"Why? Because Valerie wasn't born here? Because she knows things we don't?" Jack asks, and I recognize the typical Candor inquiry.

"If she knows why you and my niece can read those books than she has to tell us,"Bud insists.

"Just because she knows something doesn't mean she has to share it with us. It's not like we went to her and spilled our guts for her to know or trust us," Robert jumps in. His behavior is odd. He was Abnegation-born and then chose Amity. Yet he argues like a Candor and has the spirit of a Dauntless warrior. "I believe Tris when she says she already asked Valerie. And if Valerie doesn't want to share we should ask ourselves if we are even worthy of her trust. Hers and Tris's. You say you are on Tris's side, yet none of you bother to understand or even support her. When she mentioned she can read the book you actually laughed at her. And to make things worse, you slapped her in the face with that stupid remark of her being confused. If I recall it right, she had just gotten shot. A little confusion isn't the worst thing. Besides, my sister is at least trying to fix this problem, while you just sit on your lazy ass, and lament that your murderous girlfriend doesn't want to talk to you!" Robert yells.

Several things bother me. Since when did Robert become so protective over Tris? Does he like her? Even love her? Why would he get so angry with Bud or anyone for questioning Tris? I understand why I would flip out on them, but him.

"What did you say?" Marlene suddenly asks, standing up, and walking over to where Robert stands. He looks at her confused, and I have to admit, so am I. What is she talking about? Seeing the confusion on his face, Marlene continues. "You said, my sister. Robert, you don't have a sister," Marlene says. Actually, he does. He just can't remember her. But what does that have got to do with anything? Did I miss something?

"What?" Robert asks, clearly not understanding where this is going.

"You just referred to Tris as your sister," Marlene says, and my jaw drops. Did he?

"No, I didn't," Robert defends, slightly taken aback.

"Yeah, you did. I heard you too. You said your sister is the only one who is trying to fix the problem," Lynn chimes in. I try to think back, and remember the exact thing that Robert said, but I can't. Now that the girls said it, all I can think of is that he actually called Tris his sister. How is this possible?

They go back and forth regarding Robert's statement, reaching no conclusion. I get up, and leave the apartment, needing a moment away from the loud people inside. What the actual fuck is going on? Will this fucking nightmare never end?

I try to contact Tris, but when she doesn't answer even after five minutes of me trying, I get worried. What if something happened to her?

"I'm fine," she says, and I turn around startled. When I see her standing there, I forget everything and go to embrace her. I pull her flush against me, our bodies melting together as one. She was gone for maybe a half hour but to me it seemed like forever. I kiss her temple, and breathe her in, allowing her scent to envelope my senses and calm me down to the point of blissful ignorance.

"Where have you been?" I ask her, not letting go of her. She pulls me closer to her, and kisses the spot where my heart lies beneath layers of clothing, skin, muscle and bone. I smile to myself. A simple gesture like this one makes my heart skip a beat and my mind turn into mush.

"I heard Hana call for me," she says, and I push her away a little so that I can look her in the eyes.

"What?" I ask her confused.

"It was strange though. It was as if she was far away, and locked in a box or something. I've never experienced anything like this before, so I went out to search for her. I found her in the cafeteria by herself, eating. But her movements where robotic. I turned myself invisible to anyone in there and walked closer. When I was close enough, I heard two voices. One was Hana's, the other one was a man's. Only, Hana was sitting alone at the table, and there weren't that many people left. The strangest thing is, that it sounded as if the man's voice was in her head and they were having an argument," she tells me, while frowning. If this would have been anyone other than Tris, I would have immediately taken them to the infirmary to get checked for brain injuries. But if Tris heard a man's voice in Hana's head then that must mean something. I ask her what her thoughts are on that, and she simply says "what I've been saying all along."

"You mean, Hana is really possessed?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Not in the demonic way, but I think someone is manipulating her mind. Tobias, there was an internal struggle going on. The real Hana screamed for help, but the male voice kept silencing her, telling her that soon he would find the Eternal Stone and rule Midgard. Whoever he is, he knows about things no human can possibly know. For him to control Hana, he must be powerful. Maybe he is a Gifted like us or maybe he is something else. But this is proof that I was right. It wasn't Hana who did all these things, it was the Mystery Man."

I want to continue talking to her, when the door flies open, and Zeke stands there searching for something or someone. When our eyes meet, he tells us to quickly come inside, because everyone started fighting.

As we enter Harrison's apartment we can hear several people talk at once, some even shouting, trying to get their point across.

"Silence!" Tris yells, and like before, they all lose their voices. They look at her angry, but she only directs them to sit down, and listen. "Stop this already. I've told you, I won't violate Valerie's privacy. Besides, if there would have been something of relevance to our situation that could help us, I am sure she would have helped by now. Don't forget. She didn't have to tell me anything. And she didn't have to give me that diary. I gave this a lot of thought, and I think we all need to get to that temple in Amity as soon as possible. I know that on the day before the final test, the initiates have the day off to relax and mentally prepare for the test. We will go then. Four will help the Dauntless here who work to get the day off as well, and the rest of you, well, make sure you are available, because all of us will go. Have I made myself clear?" she asks, and at first no one moves a muscle. Then, one by one, they nod in agreement. "Now, Valerie might not come to our meetings, but she isn't the only one who can tell you a thing or two about the Ten Realms and the Pillars of Life. I will give you back your voices, but you have to promise not to interrupt, and let me tell you what the book taught me. When I'm done, you can ask your questions. Deal?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What did you think?
> 
> Did Tris do the right thing and not disclose everything about Valerie?
> 
> How is it that Robert can read the book now? And why did he get confused about Tris being his sister?
> 
> What about the male voice in Hana's head?
> 
> What will the Gifted do now?


	31. Legend of the Pillars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is from no one's point of view. I actually wrote it before I started the major plotlines for "The Gift". But for you to picture it more acurately, it would be Tris's summary of the things she read in the book from the temple.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, following and reviewing this story. i hope you enjoy it from here on out as well.
> 
> Lots of love, Cloakseeker.

Eons ago, when the universe was still asleep, and Everything was Nothing, a spark created an explosion. That explosion was so powerful it still expanded even after billions of years. Stars, planets, whole worlds were born in the aftermath of that explosion until in all that chaos a divine order governed existence.

In the first moments of creation, flashes of energy were thrown out into nothingness to create the most detailed painting on the vast canvas that was the night sky. One of those flashes, rebellious in its way, traveled through time and space to watch stars being born, only to witness their collapse seemingly moments later. The flash of energy took many shapes and forms, until one day it decided to take the form of a man. He descended upon Asgard, a peaceful realm governed by those who sought knowledge, always looking to understand things that seemed impossible. He called himself Chi, a name he needed to fit in enough, and not cause suspicions. He learned quickly throughout his journeys that anything that was different posed a threat to those who didn't understand it. And while the Asgardians were knowledge seekers, they too looked at him warily. All, but one.

She was a simple girl, daughter of a farmer, yet her heart was the one of an explorer, an adventurer, and an angel. Chi felt an incredible attraction to the girl, and couldn't stay away from her. They fell madly in love, but their happiness was soon threatened by the misconceptions of the simpler folk living in this realm. The girl, Gudrun(1), was already heavy with child, and feared the worst if they remained on Asgard. Chi took her protectively in his arms, and as he used his power to escape the merciless wrath of the Asgardians, he envisioned a world of peace for him and his new wife.

He called that world Cer.

When the time came for Gudrun to give birth to their offspring, Chi tried his hardest to make her comfortable. They didn't know what to expect, but it was certainly not that what happened. As the time neared, an invisible force seemed to have taken a hold of Gudrun, as it opened her up, and removed three infants out of her womb: two boys and a girl.

As the children levitated into their mother's arms, Chi looked upon them, and saw how special they were. He then gifted them with his powers, equally divided, yet each strong in their own way. Gudrun and Chi named their children Idris, Imgur, and Maia.

Life on Cer was wonderful, but Chi recognized that things were missing. They had a beautiful garden filled with flowers, fruit trees, and every kind of vegetable Chi had ever encountered during his long journey. They had an abundance of animals, but Gudrun noted that they lacked company. They were as happy as they could be together with their three children, but on Cer time passed slower, and their children remained infants for decades. Gudrun needed help, needed someone to talk to, someone who understood motherhood. Returning to Asgard wasn't an option, so Chi did the next best thing for her: he created people.

Within the first century of Cer's existence in the known universe, Chi had created a place filled with color, song, poetry, and above all else, love. Creating the Cerians wasn't half as difficult as he expected it to be. He used clay to mold figures after his, and his family's image, and once he had a considerable number of people ready, he used his divine power to breathe life into them.

Chi became King, and Gudrun was his Queen.

The realm prospered under the rule of the good king, allowing the first people to evolve into a society worthy of the name. The Cerians multiplied, and those who were truly worthy were allowed to learn of the mysteries of the universe from their creator himself.

Centuries passed, and the three children grew into toddlers, and then into curious school children who seemed to always have more questions for their father than the day before. Especially Maia. She reminded Chi so much of her mother, but her mind was sharp, and her courage was great. From all his creations, he loved her the most. She was relentless when it came to finding solutions to problems, she had a kindness in her that couldn't be taught or inherited, she had a beauty that rivaled the stars, but she had also an ability to put herself in needless dangers time and time again.

Chi took the education of his children very seriously. They had to study every day for at least four hours before they were allowed to play outside. The boys, Idris and Imgur, always seemed to protest, wanting to learn how to fight like they saw the royal guards train every day. Their father promised them a military training once they were old enough, but to them manhood couldn't come soon enough. It didn't help that they saw other children grow faster than them, and they asked their parents if something was wrong. Understanding the extraordinary nature of his children, Chi explained that they took longer to grow up because they also lived longer.

When it was finally time for the boys to start their military training, Maia insisted to be part of it as well. Her mother, accustomed with Asgardian tradition, forbade it, but Maia always had a way to convince her father. Chi gave in easily, and even convinced his wife that if need ever be, Maia would be able to protect herself. The children didn't know about the enemies his father had made over the centuries, but Gudrun did. She gave in reluctantly, but not before having both her husband and daughter promise her that upon finishing military training, a suitable husband should be found for her. Maia frowned, not wanting to ever get married, but she loved her mother too much to deny her. However, in the back of her mind Maia already forged a plan to postpone the unwanted nuptials for a long time.

And so the day of the first battle came. The three royal siblings were full-fledged members of the royal army, skilled like any other soldier, but an asset to the military thanks to their unique powers. Secretly, the three children of the King decided to use only what they've learned during their training, wanting to prove that they were more than just shy little wallflowers.

The first battle the young princess and her brothers fought in was against a powerful enemy. So powerful, that the new king of Asgard, Odin, send his wife Frigg to Cer to forge an alliance to keep the frost giants away. Chi agreed to the alliance, as long as Asgard remained out of Cer's business.

The battle was so great that generations to come would write poems about it. Both kings fought alongside, and with them the three heirs to the Cerian throne. Knowing the difficulty of the task, Odin commanded the warrior tribe of the Valkyries to help defeat the enemy. The battle lasted for days, none of the opponents stopping until the battle was won.

Upon the return to Cer, the realm celebrated their heroes, and a time of peace and quiet started for the people. Gudrun decided that it was now time for her daughter to get married, and already found the right suitor.

Long ago, Chi and Gudrun decided to leave the administrative duties to a college of four civil servants, called the Architects, to run the realm. One of those Architects was Tullius, and Gudrun thought he would be the best choice for her daughter. He was well educated, had a privileged social status, and came from one of the first families her husband created several millennia ago. In her eyes, there was no one better.

But in Maia's eyes, there was. Maia fell deeply in love with a young hero, a soldier that quickly rose in the ranks of the Royal Cerian Army to the rank of general. Chi was mostly impressed by the young man, and could see why his daughter would have liked to be with him. But he loved his wife too much to deny her, and therefore forbade his daughter to see the young general again. Disappointed by her parents, Maia went looking for Phobos, the one who stole her heart, and together they went to the Temple of Creation. Led by a group of sorcerers, the temple was the meeting place of all the energy that coursed through the realm. It was a sacred site, and Maia decided to be married to her one true love.

The sorcerers, reluctant at first, performed an ancient ritual that bonded the two lovers for eternity. The bond would be so strong that they would always find each other, no matter how far away in time and space they were. That same night, Maia gave her innocence to her new husband, and allowed herself a moment of peace and love in the arms of Phobos.

The happiness of the newlywed couple was short-lived, for the Jotuns attacked the realm. Furious over the defeat they suffered at the hands of Chi and his allies, the Jotun king himself murdered the Cerian queen. It didn't take the Cerian army long to fight back the invaders, but by the time they did, Gudrun was dead, and Chi was inconsolable. None of their children were able to stop their father when he chose to leave his body, and join his beloved for eternity, traveling together to the end of time.

The realm was now in the hands of the three royal children, but none of them knew what to do. They never prepared to actually take their parents' place. In this moment, the ambitious Tullius, proclaimed himself king. Furious over this insolence, Idris and Imgur demanded he step down, since he needed to be one of the three heirs to even utter a claim. He used this moment to tell the entire realm present that Gudrun decided before her untimely demise that he shall marry the king's daughter. Enraged by Tullius's proclamation and indifference to their suffering, Maia stepped up, and showed her left hand with the wedding band. Seeing the offensive piece of jewelry on her finger, Tullius suddenly felt his whole world crumble, all his ambitions destroyed because the girl whored herself out to a mere soldier. But Tullius was smarter than to make a bigger fool of himself.

The realm was excited about Maia's choice for a husband, and once the mandatory grieving period was over, the realm rejoiced anew. Everyone was invited to celebrate the nuptials of Maia and Phobos, and for the first time in years, there was hope.

The three siblings decided to be more involved in the kingdom's affairs, and created a High Council were they each had an equal voice. They called themselves the Pillars of Life. Maia remembered the lesson her father taught her when she was still a girl, and decided to consult the sorcerers about an urgent matter. While she would live on for a very long time, her husband was aging rapidly. She needed to stop that or slow it down, but she couldn't find a solution on her own.

Visiting the Temple of Creation, Maia was induced into a comatose state to ask the universe the question that burned her heart. The only way for her to live a long happy life with Phobos, was to share her gifts with him, and he should share his with her. Maia didn't understand what gifts he could have, since her father told her that only she and her brothers received powers. Not wanting to enrage whatever divine power gave her the much needed answer, Maia woke up, and went to find her husband.

Phobos was reluctant to accept the offer, but ultimately couldn't deny her. He loved her too much to deprive her of what she wished, and he was just as eager to spend an eternity with her. But it all came with a price, and he wondered if he was worth it. She, of course was worth any sacrifice, but in this case she would sacrifice half of her lifespan to make him just like her and her brothers.

In a private family ceremony, Maia followed the instructions, and in one of the royal baths both spouses submerged into the water. Maia repeated the chant in her mind so much until she felt a connection form between them. She could see tiny particles travel from her to him, and back, showing an exchange of information and ultimately of power. When they resurfaced, they both felt differently, yet they were never happier. Whatever may come, they knew they would manage it.

Time passed, and the Cerians loved their new King and Queen. It was decided that Phobos and Maia should take their parents' place on the throne, while important decisions were always made by the High Council.

But the peace of the Cerians was disturbed yet again, when Surtr, the fire Jotun unleashed his wrath upon Cer, bringing with him Ragnarok.

(1) GUDRUN f Norse Mythology, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, German  
From the Old Norse name Guðrún meaning "god's secret lore", derived from the elements guð "god" and rún "secret lore"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) GUDRUN f Norse Mythology, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, German  
> From the Old Norse name Guðrún meaning "god's secret lore", derived from the elements guð "god" and rún "secret lore"


	32. Death of Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Our Gifted start figuring stuff out, but the more they learn, the less sense it makes. They all know that the truth is within reach and all get anxious to finding it out and solving their problems.

Tobias's POV

We all listened to Tris's story, and I have to say I have a million questions, and I'm not sure which one I should ask first. I look around and see that my fellow Gifted are just as flabbergasted as I am.

Tris spoke of places and people I've never heard of before. And all that talk about celestial beings and whatnot. I feel my head spinning. Cer, Asgard, Jotuns, Ragnarok – what the hell does all this mean? As if reading my mind, people start asking questions, none actually waiting to get a full answer before asking a new one.

"Shut up!" Tris yells. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asks them with a glare. "Are you toddlers or something? One at the time, and let me the fuck finish answering before you ask another question. Marlene, you go."

"Thanks. What is Rag? I don't know the rest," Marlene says with a sheepish smile.

"Ragnarok," Tris tells her.

"Yeah, that. What does that mean?"

"Death of Gods," Will answers, and everyone looks at him.

"How do you know?" Christina asks him surprised, and I want to know as well.

"When I was a kid, my parents got me a book on ancient legends. There is a whole section on Norse mythology."

Will goes to explain that the names Odin, Asgard and a few others made sense to him. Back when he was a kid, he thought they were just stories, written down by ancient people. Tris seems to be sure that everything the strange book from the temple says is the truth. So, all the things Will read must also be true. If we accept that there are indeed other realms, as Tris calls them, that means that we are rather primitive compared to them. If they were seen as gods, then that means, they are highly evolved.

"Does the story of the Pillars end with this Ragnarok thing?" Johanna asks.

"I don't think so," Tris says, and frowns. "The last couple of pages are missing. Someone ripped them out long ago. They could contain information that would explain us," she says, gesturing around.

"Do you think we got our powers from the Pillars?" Uriah asks.

"Yes. Even the other version of the legend of the Pillars, the one I've already told you, says that they gave us our powers. But maybe the book contained information as to why. I mean, if we believe all the things this book says, then we are primitive in our own evolution. Not to mention right now, we're trapped in this city without actually knowing what is happening beyond the fence. We never went to explore the places outside, and I wonder if that was wise. Sure, we were told by the Founders that the world was destroyed, but how could they have known if everyone actually died if they never bothered to check?"

"I think it was a scare tactic," James offers.

"Why do you think that?" Lauren inquires. I think I know what he means.

"Simple. If I would be in charge of a handful of people, all of them vital to my own and this community's survival, I wouldn't want them to venture out. Plus, we can safely assume that the place outside of the fence can't be a safe place no matter how much time has passed. We know from school that the whole planet was populated by humans. If we survived, why not others?"

I see many nod their heads in agreement. I thought of that too, but kept my ideas to myself. I didn't want to rub the wrong people the wrong way, and put a target on my back for not conforming to the norm. Better keep my head down, and do as I'm told, that was my motto. But now that we are on the brink of a war, things have changed. And they will continue to change. Even if we stop Jeanine from attacking Abnegation and killing more of us, things can never go back. We know too much, and we want to know even more.

Tris answers more questions, and I am secretly glad that the attention isn't on me. I know she hates it too, but as I watch my girlfriend handle our group of Gifted I can't help but admire her leadership qualities. As people shift around the room, some going to the bathroom, while others into the kitchen to get water for everyone, someone bumps into the coffee table in front of me, and the book falls down. I pick it up, and as I set it back down where it was, my eyes nearly pop out. The letters start moving in front of my eyes. I blink a few times, thinking that my exhausted mind is playing tricks on me, but my vision stays blurry for only a moment, before the letters rearrange in a way that I can read them: A Brief History of Cer. What the hell?

To check if I can really read the letters, I pick up the book again, and set it down in my lap, as I go to open it. The letters have changed so that I can read them, and I start to read the passage at the top of the page.

"Maia offered her power to her husband, Phobos. It was a mutual understanding between the two to share everything for all eternity. They would share her celestial ancestry, her powers, her longevity, and her leadership qualities. In return, Phobos would give her the strength of his ancestors, Asgardian heroes who fought for centuries to keep the peace in the universe. It was Phobos' ancestor who first defeated Malekith, the King of the Dark Elves, and by doing so, the universe rewarded him with a special gift: the control over the most vital element in the universe – fire. Phobos had the ability to not only control, but to create fire out of nothing. However, it wasn't the fire that you could see, but the fire within him that made him the strongest of warriors, the true protector of the Ten Realms, and the only candidate to ascend to the throne of Cer."

I stare at the passage again, still in shock that the letters actually make sense to me. Up until now, they all looked like a toddler scribbled them down in an attempt to replicate actual words. How is it that I can read it now? I couldn't before. There must be something to explain all this.

First, Tris has that odd dream of a man who told her to read the book we found. Then, Jack seems to have suddenly gained the ability to read it. The second book Tris found as a girl disappears from her parents' house. Robert reads the temple book. Tris has a third book from Valerie who apparently wasn't even born on this planet. And now this.

I try to figure out how it is that I can suddenly read this book. And why is it just the four of us? Perhaps, our gifts allow us to read it. No. The only one who would make sense at all is Tris. Then, why Jack, Robert and I as well? What do we have in common?

We are all gifted. Okay. Well, that's about it, because we all live in different factions. What if that doesn't matter? In ancient times, people weren't divided into factions. And according to all we know, the Gifted were here for centuries. Jack, Robert and I are all men. Both Robert and I came from Abnegation. No, no, no. I already decided the factions are irrelevant to this. Or are they? I am so confused.

"Maybe I can help," Tris offers sitting down next to me. I give her a curious look, and she smiles. "Don't worry. I haven't read your mind. You just seemed in distress." I nod my head. It would have surprised me to hear that she did. She promised she wouldn't read my mind on purpose.

"Tris, we need to talk in private," I tell her. I am not sure that it would be wise to include the others in this conversation. They are all trying to figure out other things. And I'd rather talk to someone who is more familiar with everything. Tris is the only one qualified to ease my mind.

I watch her as she nods her head, and stands up. She doesn't even say anything, but starts walking to the front door. She looks over her shoulder, beckoning me with her finger, and I follow like the obedient puppy that I am. She giggles a little when I am close enough to kiss her cheek, and lead her outside.

We decide to go home. It's private, and I know there is the other book Tris got from Valerie. If I can read that one as well, then that means it wasn't a coincidence. I grab her hand in mine, holding it tightly, but not so to hurt her. None of us says a word, and the moment we reach the apartment, I unlock it and we enter. Closing the door behind us, I turn to look at my girlfriend. She guides me into the kitchen, and we both sit down.

"I can read the book," I blurt out. Her eyes widen in shock. She blinks a few times, as if she is trying to catch up to what I said or figure something out.

"I beg your pardon," she says, shaking her head a little.

"The book, the one we found in the temple. When it fell down and I picked it up, I was able to read the title. So, I opened it and read a passage. Tris, I can read that book." My voice is firm, yet inside I am shaking. This can mean a thousand different things. Anything between good and bad, but nothing to explain why I am able to now when before it all looked like gibberish.

I watch Tris as she stands up, and walks to the bed. She opens her nightstand, and pulls out a small book. I presume it's the one Valerie gave her. It seems, we both had the same idea. She brings it over, and lays it in front of me on the table. I look at it, and it looks similar to the one we left in Harrison's apartment.

"Try to read something inside it," Tris encourages, before she goes to the fridge to get some water. When she returns, two bottles in hand, I am still staring at the cover. What if it was a fluke? What if I just imagined reading those lines? "Tobias, just try. This isn't a test, and you can't fail. Just open it at a random page, and try to read something."

I nod my head. I open the book, and just like before, the letters make sense to me. I ponder if I should read out loud or not. On the other hand, Tris might have read this part already, and if not she will soon.

"The death of my mother was devastating. I never imagined losing her. She was always present, always smiling, always beautiful and young. She could have lived forever. She was taken from me, and there was nothing I could have done. I feel so powerless, so useless, so broken. When my father decided to join her on her eternal journey through the universe, I thought my whole world would collapse in on itself. If it wouldn't have been for Phobos holding my hand the entire time, I am certain I would have shattered into a million pieces."

I keep staring on the sentences I've just read, before my gaze lifts and finds Tris's. She has tears in her eyes, and it breaks me to see her sad.

"Come here," I say, and hold my arms open. She gets up from her chair, and moves quickly around the table to come sit in my lap. I wrap my arms around her as soon as she sits, and her head lies on my shoulder. "It's okay, babe," I try to comfort her while rubbing her back.

"I don't even know why I get so emotional. I didn't even know this girl," she says, and I can sense she is more upset than she even lets on.

"Just because you didn't know her personally doesn't mean you can't be sad over her loss. That's what makes you such a wonderful human being. You are compassionate and kind. No matter who it is that feels the pain, you feel it too because you care about others."

"It's just so stupid. I mean, the girl who wrote this is probably dead. Who knows how old this book really is. It doesn't look like any book I ever found from before the war."

I think of what she is saying, and I guess she is right. The fact that both books speak of events long before our time here on Earth or Midgard is proof enough that whoever wrote these books lived maybe thousands of years ago. Then there is this curious thing about the letters that suddenly became readable. Realizing that that's the reason why we left the meeting, I try to make her focus on my new found ability.

"I don't know, Tobias. I don't even know why I can read it," she confesses, and I can hear her frustration. She sits up a little to look me in the eyes. Seeing her tearstained face, I rub the remaining tears away, and kiss her cheeks, one at a time.

"I tried to figure out why the four of us," I start saying, and she nods. "Why can't no one else read, but we can?"

"I know what you mean. I've been cracking my skull ever since I managed to read the book," she admits. I knew she was trying to figure that out, and I guess she didn't voice her concerns or ideas about it because it is really difficult for someone who isn't in her shoes to understand the situation. I've seen how others looked at her when she told them she could read the book. Did she really think I would be the same?

"Did you not tell me anything about your struggles because you thought I would treat you like the others?" I ask, unable to mask either my curiosity or my hurt. Why wouldn't she trust me? Her head snaps in my direction so quickly I think she might hurt herself. The look on her face is of disbelief and frustration.

"No, baby. Of course not. I haven't said anything because I didn't even know where to start. Plus, you had so much on your plate already. I didn't want to bother you with something I couldn't change," she tells me, and comes to sit in my lap again. My arms encircle her immediately, and I pull her closer to me, breathing her in.

"I am never too busy for you, Tris. Remember that. You are the most important person in my life. I want to know if something is bothering you, okay?" I ask her, hoping she will do that in the future. I feel her nodding her head, and smile a little.

"We should go back to the others. They'll probably wonder why we left. Do you want to tell them?" she asks, and sits up straighter so that we can look at each other. I think for a moment, and decide to just let them know. It won't help us if we start keeping secrets. And frankly, Tris's opinion is the only one that truly matters to me. I tell her we should tell the others, and maybe by involving them they won't feel left out and could offer some new perspective on our problem.

Returning to Harrison's apartment, we find the others still discussing the story Tris told us, when Johanna notices us coming in. Seeing all of them looking at us I second guess if it was a good idea to come back here.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" Tris asks in my head. I glance at her, and she offers a smile.

"No. I should do it," I reply telepathically. We sit down, and I ask everyone to listen for a moment to what I have to tell them.

"What's up, Four?" Shauna asks, seeing that I am stalling.

"When we were here earlier, someone bumped into the book, and it fell down. I picked it up, and suddenly the words made sense. I checked a random page, and started reading."

"Hang on. Are you saying you can read that book too?" Zeke asks befuddled. I nod my head. He stands up, and goes to pick up the book. He looks it over, and then flips through its pages. "I still can't," he groans.

Just like earlier, when Robert revealed he could read it, the book travels around the room for each Gifted to see. No one else can read it, and so, they place it back on Harrison's coffee table.

We decide to go back to the first moment Tris read the book. It was right after Eric had shot her, and she woke up from that coma she was in. She was confused about her brother or rather yet the number of brothers she has.

"Wait! Stop!" Lynn says, surprising us.

"What?" Bud asks.

"Tris thought she had two brothers," she continues, and we nod. I glance at my girlfriend and see her blush. It still bothers her that she was so confused.

"Yes, so?" James asks confused.

"When Robert defended Tris he called her his sister," she adds. We look from Lynn to Robert, and then Tris. Tris looks surprised, and I remember she wasn't here when Robert got confused.

"You thought I was your sister?" she asks him.

"Yeah," he answers sheepishly. "But I don't know why I did that. I know we were neighbors, maybe friends if you could call that in our former faction," he states, and both Tris and I nod, understanding what he means.

Then an idea forms in my head. Tris said, that while she was confused, she must have remembered the children she saw in her visions when she touched both Jack and Robert. Maybe Robert saw the same thing again in his mind, when he defended Tris. So, I ask him. He looks curiously at me, not quite sure if that would be an accurate statement to make. I then look at Jack, and ask him if he had a similar experience about either Tris or Robert, but he shakes his head.

"No, I'm sorry. Why do you ask?" he inquires.

"I figured that's one thing the three of you have in common. Each of you got visions when you first touched each other," I explain.

"That would still not explain why you can read the book," he points out. I lean back in my chair, feeling defeated and no way closer to an explanation than when we came back here.

"I think we should see if we can find anything in the temple. Perhaps, there are explanations to more than one puzzle," Johanna offers. Reluctantly, we all agree. I can only speak for myself, but I wish I had the answers now rather than later. But since none of us has a clue as to why certain things happen the way they do, we will have to wait and see.

The meeting ends and everyone returns home. I take Tris's hand in mine, before saying goodbye to my friends, and then leave. This was a long and stressful day. I can't wait for us to go to Amity to finally figure out what the hell is going on. I just need to make sure that every Gifted can take their day off on the day before the Final Test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What did you think?


End file.
